┌───────────────────✻ ♔ ✻─────────────────────┐ "Ey! Why the look? Fell in love? Pfthah!." ↬Basic Information Full Name: Ri’az Kra’zzla Age: 33, August 2th 255 AC. Gender: Male Race: Varran Rakrran Sexuality: Heterosexual ↬Proficiency +5 Thin Blade Combat Skill, Invested. +15 Maritime Knowledge, Invested. +4 Dexterous Rogue Skill, Invested. +4 Stealth Rogue Skill, Invested. +10 Captain Tactic Skill, Invested. +10 Theatre Arts, Hobby Points Invested. ↬Physique Physical Stat: 30 [15 Maritime Knowledge] + [5 Thin Blade Combat skill] + [10 Racial Buff] Body Shape: Muscular Body Shape Body Fat: Average Body Fat ↬Languages Zcorr [Native Language, Literate] Daendroquin [Fluent, Literate] Common [Fluent, Literate] ↬Visual Information Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Dark Grey Hair Style: Side swepped. Fur Color: Grey Clothing: Pirate esque clothing, Varran and Daendroquin influenced. Height: 5'9 ┌───────────────────✻ ♔ ✻─────────────────────┐ "I hold nothin' sacred." ↬Happiness and Contentedness Ri'az is a simple man, his happiness is often created by just having his family and friends to cracks a joke, share a tale and play games, even better with drinks to accompany it, if he is out in the sea, however, hearing the wave crashing, birds chirping would be enough to make the Rakrran cracks a smile. The Varran makes do with whatever he has and always tries to maintain positive vibes, as his mother taught him to. ↬Responding to Fear When facing his fears, the Varran often finds any mean of escape from it, unless he is forced to just gulp his fear and face it, which often leads to his undoing. To others when asked of his fear, he would deny it and pretend like he has none due to his insecurity in himself. ↬Responding to Stress For Ri'az, drinks are his go-to vice when he is happy and when he is stressed. He often lets his sorrow kill him inside and pretends as if everything is just alright, as he has no one he completely trusts to listen to all his whims. So the Rakrran lets himself drown in his sorrow and his alcohol. ↬View on Law and Authorities Being born in Ssil, he has little tolerant to Laws and Authorities, breaking rules whenever he feels like so. Lately, having himself completely blends in with Ailors way of life, he had been rather orderly following them when he deems necessary. But Ri'az is prone to breaking small rules for laughs and giggles with his friends. ↬Feel about other races The Rakrran have a high tolerance for other races since he himself has spent quite some time in a non-Varran environment. He believes all races are equal, and it should be so, surprisingly considering the known history between the Varran and the Elves. He finds himself in the company of Daendroquin more often than his fellow kinsman. ↬Religion Religion is such a complicated topic for Ri'az, for he is a follower of Baskarr but he does not worship nor do what is expected to a faithful Baskarr follower. He secretly believes that it is massive rubbish and a waste of time, just a government plan of making money from the foolish follower. Though he has no problem with religious people, Ri'az believing it is their right. ↬Arcane and Magic The Varran, believes, that magic is for the faint of heart, those who are afraid of close quarter combat. He mocks those who use them with all his best insults. It was a form of hatred he has for the arts, cause he once dreamed of becoming one who controls the elements, which he fails horribly. ↬Feel towards Family His number one priority, the Kra'zzla, is all he has to himself, the one thing he holds dear and close to, he will do anything to protect them, that's what he keeps on saying to himself. However, Ri'az is scared of losing himself, after all, he is adopted, and his family is nothing but slave, outlaw, and pirates banded together. And he often denies himself of his selfish nature. ↬Pride The Kra'zzla is proud of his skills in sailing, he often boasts of how it is inherited from his non-biological father, he is rather sure that once the helm is gifted to him, he'll be one that brought spoils of war and riches onto his family. ↬Motives Family, as said, is his ultimate motive to keep going on with this life. Ri'az felt like the younger Kra'zzla generations should stray off from their piracy roots, that they should settle down and have another business, one that is legal and safer. Ending the family's traditional way of life. ↬Insecurity Ri'az is insecure off how his family thinks of him, the helms of their family ship have been passed onto him, and later the title Patriarch, which often makes him think if others are not so keen on seeing a rather newly adopted boy be their leader. At nights, he sometimes dreams of a scenario where the Kra'zzla betrays and overthrows him. ↬Fear His biggest fear must be failing to be the leader he is expected to be, he is a great sailor, no doubt. But to lead a family is an entirely different thing. He fears that he would be the downfall of his house, a family that his late father has built from nothing but slavery. ┌───────────────────✻ ♔ ✻─────────────────────┐ "Now drink, drink until everythin' ye did feel right." Ri’az’s conception was purely accidental, a Rakrran met a Rakrran barmaid and thus a child was conceived. From this, Ri’az never knew his father, the life he led or where he came from. All Ri’az needed to know was that he was the son of Messild, his mother and the one person Ri’az held dear and his childhood was happy. This fantasy was cut down eventually however, his mother struck down with it on the street corner. A simple mugging had turned sour when Messild refused to give over what little food she’d found for her son. Orphans are often born in Ssil and they suffer a fair pain at first before learning to survive, though being made an orphan after having a family, the pain of far from fair and the outcome, well for some, it's a chance to thrive. At the young age of 7, Ri’az could thieve with the best of them, pickpocket, beg and barter with them. The streets hardened Ri’az’s soul and body, though, in reality, the many broken bones have actually made him quite frail, though metaphorically, he became the envy of budding street orphan thieves everywhere. Eventually, Ri’az took his crime to a new height, cat-burglary, he picked a target and made a move. Though your first break-in is bound to have a few glitches and failures, though none could quite come to what Ri’az discovered. As soon as he opened the taverns locked door, and he discovered the hearty owner drinking solemnly while Ri’az stood, nearly urinating in fear. Bir’aaz was the innkeeper's name and debt was the only new belonging Ri’az had gained. Three nights working the bar for Bir’aaz and he was made a proposition, to become a member of the tavern's staff. Ri’az was fourteen with a job serving alcohol to pirates and smugglers, every orphan's dream. He grew in maturity to gain the best reception from his patrons, gained a knowledge of the world and even learned a few phrases in various languages while at it. He met various companies and peoples, both the strange and mundane mixed to become what Ri’az came to know as his own brand of normal. On a particularly rowdy night, a peculiar Songaskian robed in red entered into the manic tavern, assumedly looking for drink and company. This was not his motive. He began his slaughter fairly soon upon setting foot through the door. Sparks flew and blood stained as another Songaskian entered, aiding his kinsmen in the slaughter. The two then sat by the bar, as Ri’az cowered beneath just out of their sight. He plucked up his courage, and with a small knife went to throw himself at the assailants. As he rose up to pounce he saw a sight that still haunts him to his day; his employer had concaved the skull of one of the rogues Songaskian with a heavy tankard. Before he could even react the other Songaskian stabbed him coldly, before returning to finish the ale he'd procured of the counter. The other rogue turned to Barkeeper and began to march towards him, almost consequentially a crossbow shaft pierced through either temple of his head and he collapsed to the floor. The man he'd come to know as his second employer had just saved his life. Ri’az fell into the company of a pirate crew, captained under the eye of Shakir Kra'zzla, a Warran of powerful proportions and a surprisingly warm heart towards fellow orphans. The crew plundered, raided and burned various merchant ships and gained fairly substantial infamy. In a risky tempt of fate Shakir led the crew to Hadar in hope of salvaging a fortune from the Naylar empire of old. Fate replied with fish-men. A rather large band of them, who, just like the crew who Ri’az had joined was partial to the odd raid of ships, except they were employed by local Ailor colonies who paid for the protection of their waters from pirates. The ship was taken fairly easily by the Maiar attackers and subsequently, the ship sank with Shakir. Armed with nothing but a few rowboats, a single crossbow and the paddles found aboard them the crew set camp nearby the wreckage, wandering daily to pull what little booty remained from the broken vessel. Eventually, they began picking off of the local Maiar Raiders, cooking them for food and weakening the overall Mer parties' force. After a few months, the crew now led by Fawzi, Shakir's adoptive brother sees another pirate vessel, coincidentally from Ssil enters the same waters Ri’az’s previous ship had been attacked, the crew made contact before the Maiar could strike and began to formulate a plan. In a violent battle and with the combined power of both crews, they killed the Maiar attackers and split the bounty between both crews. They explored Hadar and raided a few ships, giving each crew member a fair chunk of wealth, even lost his right eye in the process. The crew of Fawzi was finally dropped off back in Ssil, tired and exhausted of all things pirate-related. They parted ways, Fawzi retired and the various other crew members boarded ships in a hope of finding a new home in Daendroque. While some follow their new captain, Ri'az, together they spread terrors across the seas, mainly seas from Daendroquin to Hadar in search of names and plunder. With a pocket full of coins, experience, and newfound skills, Ri’az bought passage to Regalia to joins his family, a city he is new to arrive in, with hopes to find new riches and higher his status amongst his civilian peers. After some time in the city Ri’az worked for de Santigo as their boatswain, but it didn’t last long as the family had fallen out of power. Ri’az now will steal, hack, and swashbuckle his way to the top, or at least that’s the plan.
Hello! Here's my review, @Voidemite Overall, your formatting is very hard to read. Try to reduce the app to size four font for ease of any readers. Does he carry both of these on his person? If so, it would be rather difficult to maneuver with two weapons, meant to be used one at a time. Choose one weapon that he favours. Your personality seems to be lacking in negative personality traits. Either add another, or replace one of your current positive traits with a negative one. Bulk up the 'swimming' strength. Frail is generally a given for any Tigriss, and it's not really unique to Ri'az as a character so add another weakness on top of the three you already have or replace 'Frail' with something else. I really enjoyed the life story! It was a nice read. ~ Make the edits above in a different colour and tag me when you have completed them.
@PonyoWantHam Hey, I think Ri'az trait is pretty balanced as it is 1 passive, 3 positives, and 3 negatives. What do you think? Do I still need to add more negatives trait?
Generally, Deceptive is seen as a positive personality trait as it does help him. But after re-reading the app, the personality seems balanced enough.
Tagging @Lore for re-review as I made changes in this color. Changes Made : Added Family names New main ambition due to recent event. Changes left blinded eye to right blinded eye, It was intended to be right blinded eye from the beginning I wrote this char app.
I'll be reviewing this sheet. Describe what exactly happens when Ri'az goes into withdraw from one of his addictions, make drawback(s) severe. Aside from that your other changes seem fine, just make the above change in BLUE and tag me when you are done.
Approved. Keep in mind for future reference that we no longer have cultural proficiencies. They're all the same, but I'll not be picky about it. Enjoy!
Skill Information You'll need to reflect your characters knowledge of the Daendroquin language with at least 6 proficiency points as Zcorr is your racial language. You can factor in your 4 Throwing Combat Skill into your Body Stat calculations. Good job on your application, just make these quick edits and you'll be good to go. @Cloutfather_
Sorry about that, thanks for the reminder! Double check your proficiencies spent on fast blades compared to the fast blades calculated into your body stat. @Cloutfather_
@Cloutfather_ let's see what we've got: Seems there are a few broken images. you have 10 Hobby Points that can be spent in the Arts Proficiency Category. Could you move the Physical Stat boost away from the Proficiency listing? Remove athletic training in the calculation, and replace it with the racial buff. This should bring the total value to 33. Could you indicate which language was learned via linguistics? I only ask since if he was around the Daendroquean culture long enough, he'd be able to learn it for free. Though if you are going for cultural purity with Zcorr, feel free to ignore this. "friends to cracks a joke" should be "friends to crack a joke." nitpicky but I'm reading it already. " if he is out in " should be the start of a new sentence. and perhaps "on the sea" is better. grammar changes: "For Ri'az, drinks are his go to vice when he is happy and when he is stressed. He often lets his sorrow kill him inside and pretends as if everything is just alright, as he has no one he completely trusts to listen to all his whims. So the Rakrran lets himself drown in his sorrow and his alcohol." there are several other grammatical errors found throughout the personality and rest of the app. I would suggest using an online grammar checker to pinpoint them, and make changes accordingly. I'd look into investing few points into Rogue Proficiencies to reflect his upbringing on the streets. Especially since he is involved in pickpocketing and burglaries. I'd make the Songaskians more roguish or outcasts, since normal Songaskians do not kill needlessly, and feel this massacre is definitely one of those needless killings. I'd also remove the mage aspects, since magic has changes drastically over the years. See what you can do with these suggestions and tag me when they are completed.
math on the physical stat should be 15 maritime + 5 thin blade +10 racial = 30, but since it will be muscular anyways it doesn't matter as the end result. Though do fix this even if I am approving it rn. Approved @Cloutfather_
