The Auld-Kin looked out into the district living and breathing outside his second story window, the culmination of so many stories and memories gracefully walking by every now and again. Yet, his focus was on alone the thoughts that had plagued him as of late. He shut his eyes tight, clasping his calloused hands onto the pendant of Estel that was attached to a simple wooden necklace. "Glory Almighty, Glory Estel. Glory Almighty, Glory Estel. Glory-." He paused in his prayer, opening his eyes. Something did not feel right anymore. There was something off with his prayers as of late, something that felt as if a hole was ever precariously there - waiting to plunge him into the deep. Bel-Gyarbrin retreated from the window, heading to a lone smoldering fireplace. Setting his left hand on the mantle, he looked into the periodically crackling remnants of the fire. His mind had become fogged as of late, things were not making sense like they use to. "Where are you Estel? Where are you Sol?" He questioned softly into an empty room, to an unempathetic dying fire. He had given nearly 100 or so years of his life to the devout faith, he did not question his loyalty then - he fought and nearly died for their ideals time and time again. For nearly 5 or so had he served House Availle with their multiple Sols as of recent. He did not question his loyal then - he fought and nearly died for their ideals time and time again. But there it was again, as of late. 'Their' ideals, not 'his' ideals. At times, he would never question the difference between them. He was an extension of both the Sol and Estel, as ever had he been since he arrived in Regalia. So why now did his heart give just the tiniest twist when he prayed? Why did his heart not soar into the heavens when he praised the Sol's name and legacy? Bel grunted fiercely, and in a fit of confused rage violently flung his pendant off into the wall nearby - stomping into the center of the room to fall to his knees in prayer. She would listen this time - she had to. "Estel, you are aware I'm righteous man, full of duty, and sound of mind. Estel you know that I'm greater than the Fleeting Folk calling out your name. So tell me, Estel, why you do not answer my prayers when my time of need is in its greatest hour? Please, Estel - I need you! Speak to me! Give me a sign! I may be your flock's shepherd, but I am scared - I need you!" His body shook like a quake, as he shouted violently into the room his prayers openly, grasping his hands together as he prayed until the knuckles turned as stark white as the coals within the fireplace. Tears streamed down his weathered face as he called out like a child to their mother. Yet as he finished, as he kept his hands together. He slowly opened his already sore eyes. He observed nothing. He felt nothing. There was no warmth like before when he prayed, there was no great ideal vision. There was nothing but the cold breeze from the window, and the empty as it ever was simplistic bedroom. For the first time after prayer, Bel felt truly as perhaps he ever was - alone. He shakily stood up from his feet, unable to think or say even a word. He clumsily went over to where his pendant had fallen to after he had thrown it. His hands, red from squeezing so hard during prayer, grasped up the pendant - and that is when he observed a chip on the pendant. A small little fragment of Estel's visage had seemingly broke off when he threw it. Bel stood there an undetermined amount of time just staring, silently, at the chip in her face. After he finished, he set the pendant not on his neck anymore - but in his pocket. Then he moved to his bed, retiring for the moment to be at rest. His mind no longer felt as together as it once had before. -------- tl;dr: Priest go :( [Bel is now shifting to 8/10 Faith of Estel instead of 10/10]
