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Played Character Pelle

This character is actively played.
diCardinale

diCardinale

MassiveCraft's token ethnic
Joined
Jan 6, 2014
Messages
432
Reaction score
904
Points
568
Location
Sicilian countryside
Character Information
  • Full Name: Pellegrino Giaccherini von Giegedreher dei Torono di Orazio.
  • Aliases: Pelle, Pelican, Consi Lieri
  • Race: Cantaluna-Wirtem Ailor.
  • Age: Sixty-two.
  • Sex: Male.
  • Eye Color: Sea-foam green.
  • Core Concept: Pelle was a grizzled military general and former Count of Toreno pursuing a Purist agenda before being witness to numerous extreme magical crises afflicting Regalia and his multiple political downfalls drove him to seek all knowledge of the Occult possible through the Scribes Guild, and later devoting part of his research into Nilthism and becoming a Nilthist himself.
Proficiency Information
  • Total Spent
    • Strength (0)
    • Constitution (0)
    • Intelligence (2)
      • Adapt
        • Disguise
        • Sealing
      • Tech (Klokktek)
        • Hook Shot (Free with Ailor Heritage Traits)
        • Tech Ghost (Free with Tech Point Buy)
    • Wisdom (0)
    • Dexterity (5)
      • Deadeye
        • Stance Ability (Free with Deadeye Point Buy)
        • Puffshot
        • Luckshot
        • Focus
        • Quickshot
        • Crit
    • Faith (0)
    • Magic (0)
    • Charisma (7)
      • Speech
        • Hosting
        • Sanctioned
        • Stubborn
        • Saving
        • Political
        • Undisclosed
        • Fiscal
Appearance Information
  • Pelle has no abnormalities or mutations.
  • Pelle has two modes of dress: one that hides his identity for the underworld in a mundane way with trench coats and masks, and for the more reputable dealings, he dresses not unlike the former noble he once was, with fine but not extravagant attire, maintaining a well dressed but understated fashion sense.
Life Hooks
  • Former Count of Toreno
  • Former Justicar
  • Former Field Marshal
  • Former Purist
  • Member of the Scribe Order
  • Nilthist Faithful
 
Last edited:
EDITS LIST:
  • 6/15/2016 - Edits made in purple; Removed athletic build and replaced with bulky, went into detail about how he came to be able to wield a sword.
  • 12/26/2016 - Edits made in orange; Updated special permission, age, name, minor edits to personality, and brought the life story up to date with current events in mind.
  • 1/12/2016 - Removed Special Permission.
  • 1/13/2016 - Edits made in blue; Added a little more content to the trait "Methodical"
  • 8/14/2020 - Rewrote entire application to meet current character application format & criteria, aged up to 55, added magical interest, removed mention of specific historical events (Drachenwald Crisis, Chrysant War, Regalian Civil Strife) until approved Canon Backstory SP, brought life story up to date to current in-lore year, added relationships section.
  • 8/15/2020 - Fixed Proficiency Points relating to Siege Tactics Skill.
  • 8/17/20 - Fixed Proficiency Points by taking off 2 extra points from Society Knowledge and redistributing them to Siege Tactics Skill
  • 9/28/20 - Updated to the latest Proficiency rework.
  • 10/15/20 - Changed last name, added small blurb in life story explaining why.
  • 12/13/20 - Switched both Cooking and Keyboard points into Vocal Singing, added a small blurb in Lifestory explaining why he got it.
  • 6/17/2021 - Updated to the latest Proficiency rework.
  • 9/22/2021 - Switch Swords out for Light Ranged
  • 8/1/2022 - Updated to the latest Proficiency rework.
  • 8/20/2022 - Adjusted State proficiencies, added Stupid Luck pack, and adjusted backstory to remove old placeholder lore to make him participate in certain major Regalian conflicts.
  • 10/16/2024 - Updated to current proficiency standards and adjusted core concept to reflect how Pelle has changed as a character.
 
Last edited:
Review!

All in all, I believe this is a pretty well written application, with balanced traits and an otherwise unique enough occupation. However, I do have a few edits that I feel could clarify your character further.

Now, combat wise, you display Pelle's favoured weapon to be that of a sword, and yet you make no mention of any combat experience, be it sparring or otherwise. Moreover, you don't mention much exercise within Pelle's lifestory to deem him his athletic, fit build at all. I'd like to see more mention of it within his lifestory, wherein you display to me his progression of combat and fitness over the years, where he's not entirely focused on his studies and artillery practice. I doubt it'll take you too long, considering the way you write as is. I'm more so assuming it was just a lack of forethought on your part, which is fine and dandy.

Tag me once the necessary edits have been made in a different colour, and feel free to ask me any questions pertaining to the review here, @Scafalafel !~
 
Upon closer inspection, reviewer made an error in approving this application.

The following supposed permission: "Marshall of the Artillery in the Imperial Army." Is a made-up one that does not exist in lore. Even if it did exist in lore, the Marshal positions are not open for Special Permission registry.

Putting this application back in the queue for a re-review based on lore noncompliance.

@TheBioverse @BirdieSanders_
 
@BirdieSanders_, please tag me once all edits to remove his special permission are complete in a text color so I can perform a re-review.
 
@HydraLana I found that I was still using the old revision where Society Knowledge costed four points per pack. I have adjusted it to be only six points in Society Knowledge, and shifted the extra two points to Siege Tactics Skill.
 
@Caelamus
Adjusted State proficiencies, added Stupid Luck pack, and adjusted backstory to remove old placeholder lore to make him have participated in certain major Regalian conflicts.
 
@Caelamus heyo, updated Pelle to the most recent Proficiency update. Switched Polearm and Thin Blades for Duelist and Tactician, and Longneck and Puretek for Buster and Purity.
I also adjusted the backstory which initially said he didn't participate in the Deathling Crisis, however looking at old progressions from the Deathling Crisis he did actually partake in the events, and thus I edited it accordingly in blue.
 
Last edited:

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