Basic Information (Required) The following is required when filling out your character application. Please use a Bullet Point list.Try to keep the information here as simple and confined as possible, it's supposed to be a short list. Full Name: (Ottoman Serdar) Age: (23) Gender: (Male) Race: (Qadir) Sexuality: (heterosexual) Preferred Weapon: Shotal Skill Information (Required) Total Points: 32+5=37 points. Hobby points: 10 +5 Shielding Combat Skill (+5 from total points) +5 Pole Combat Skill (+5 from total points) +15 Blades Combat Skill (+15 from total points) +10 Perception Training (+10 from total points) +2 athletics Training (+2 from total points) +10 Musical Arts (+10 from hobby points) Body Shape Physical stat : 26 Athletic body type Low body fat Languages K’alatibiri 10/10 Common 10/10 Visual Information (Required) The following is required when filling out your character application. Please use a Bullet Point list. Try to keep the information here as simple and confined as possible, it's supposed to be a short list. Eye Color: (brown) Hair Color: (brown) Hair Style: (curly) Skin Color: (white) Clothing: (tunic) Height: (180cm) Personality and Abilities (Required with Choice) The following is required when filling out your character application. In order to explain the character’s personality, you may choose between two optional sets of questions. The Question List is meant to make you think out of the box, which is something useful for people who are more comfortable thinking further on their character design, or you may choose The Core List, which sets out the basic relevant data, though requiring a bit more reading on the part of the app maker. Choose one of the following two options for your required Personality section, and ignore the other. Option Two: The Core List Choose your Character Alignment Neutral Choose your Character Personality Type Medioter Choose your Character's Religion Ottoman found himself being converted to Unionism. Becoming a stout believer in the holy spirit. He would rank a solid 8/10. Life Story (Required) Ottoman Serdar was born to the Hadrav'yan people in Northern Farah'deen, in a wealthy village called Osmaniyye. His mothers name was Emine Graven, while his father was named Osford. Ottoman was born to a quite poor family, and his family often had to sell crops in order to make money. However, because his village was rather poor, the people made fun of his family for even existing. At age six, Ottoman was expelled into the streets of his village to work in the markets. Ottoman was very sad about this and worked his hardest to make money.(edited) ----- At age ten, Ottoman made enough money for his family to move into a more cozy cottage. However, mercenaries from the far west were paid to burn down the Serdar household. This made Ottoman and his family homeless. At age fourteen, Ottoman was street smart, but his parents were elderly. Thieves on the road killed both Emine and Osford, leaving Ottoman to be an orphan. Ottoman decided to learn to fight, so he decided to start. He decided to learn how to fight with a sword, and became quite proficient at it. ---- At age eighteen, Ottoman got his own home, and began to make good money. Ottoman soon got married and had children, and they became rather spoiled. However, soon, at the age of twenty, Ottoman lost all of his money to betting, and thus sweared to never do it again. Ottoman's children became undernourished, and both gained clinical Anxiety. Ottoman didn't want his children this affected, so he decided to move to a nearby land, leaving his children with wealthy farmerws who longed children. At age twenty two, Ottoman moved back home, but his children were abandoned. He found them homeless just as he was. Depressed, he finds a new family and leaves again. At age thirty, Ottoman decided to continue to learn fighting and perhaps become a thief. [10:57 PM] ---- At the age of 23, Ottoman decided to return home and check on his children, who were doing quite alright. Ottoman gave them some money. At the age of thirty two, Ottoman took a trip to Regalia to join a mercenary group, to make money to support his undernourished teenagers.
Peer Review: Hi, I thought I'd leave some notes to help you out before your app gets reviewed. Preferred Weapon is meant to go into more detail with what the character uses, I'd recommend putting Shotel her since it is the sword the Hadrav'yan are known for. This section needs proper formatting check the spoiler fo example. In addition to this you have 37 points to spend instead of 38 Total Points: 73 Spoiler: Format [*]Shielding Combat Skill [*]Pole Combat Skill [*]Blades Combat Skill [*]Perception Training [*]Athletics Training [*]Musical Arts (Hobby) This should be done in bullet points again for ease of reading, secondly, their parental tongue would be K’alatibiri not Genevaud. Qadir all have brown eyes. This should have a score out of ten to show how devout they are to their faith, for example (8/10) Is very devout to the faith. In conclusion, these were the only issues I saw with the application and you should be fine if you follow what I said. I hope you have a nice day and enjoy roleplaying as them!
Hey there @shalfort201! Claiming this app for Aspirant review! I'd ask that you make the edits that @Aurelian30k pointed out in Purple and tag me when complete!
@Mollymock hi sorry for late response i didnt know what to do but i finished it @Aurelian30k ty for your notes
You have a few too many points listed here, as you only have points equal to your age plus five. Either age up the character, or lower these points. Should you age them up, please expand the life story to accomodate this. Please include a calculation detailing how you came to this value. This is not a lore compliant skin tone for a Qadir. Their race is generally darker in skin tone, which you can read up on on their wiki page. Please change this to match what's defined there. Make these edits in Purple and tag me when complete @shalfort201!
