Olivia Désirée Ombre

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by Posidem, May 25, 2016.

  1. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    Basic Information

    "Drowning in seas of deep blue,"

    ❧ Full Name

    Olivia Désirée Ombre
    Age

    35
    ❧ Gender

    Female
    ❧ Race

    Ithanian Champagnard - Dressolini Ailor
    ❧ Main Ambition

    To avenge her late husband and child and bring her House to relevancy in Regalia.
    ❧ Special Permission

    Expert in School of Alchemy, School of Statesmanship
    Basic Information Expansion

    ❧ Birth

    04 May 270 AC - Libra
    ❧ Sexuality

    Heterosexual
    ❧ Position

    Olivia is a woman of wealth and had recently came to Regalia to seek assistance from the Emperor. Her short amount of time in the city, a few months, had been spent in a local inn, a quality inn at that, until she finds a more permanent residence. She relied on the wealth of her tea company to sustain her...

    Now, however, she resides in The Trouve Palace in the Regalian countryside, an appropriate home for a woman of her noble standing.
    ❧ Upbringing

    A single child for most of her life, until her brother was born, Olivia enjoyed her childhood in Ithania, the place of her birth. Her mother was a wealthy Ithanian socialite while her father was a merchant from Montania. Olivia may have been born in Ithania, but she grew up in the Yang-Tzu Isles; not leaving until recently.
    ❧ Other Ambitions

    Olivia hopes to restore her mother's home that was raided, but can hold that aside until her main goal has been achieved. She also wishes to learn another language.

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    Skill Information
    "Her eyes traps even for you,"

    ❧ School

    of Alchemy
    of Statesmanship
    ❧ Level

    Expert of Alchemy
    Expert of Diplomacy
    ❧ Source

    Alchemy, Olivia was taught at Liànjīn Shù Xuéyuàn where she graduated.
    Diplomacy, Olivia studied under the Regalian Ambassador to Yang-Tzu.
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    Visual Information
    "These men of nobility;"
    ❧ Eye Color

    Blue
    ❧ Hair Color

    Chestnut brown
    ❧ Hair Style

    Long curly locks flowing down her back
    ❧ Skin Color

    Light pink, occasionally tan
    ❧ Clothing

    Ithanian dress of nobility and Ch'ien-Ji inspired accessories
    ❧ Height

    5'08
    ❧ Body Build

    Curvaceous
    ❧ Weapon of Choice

    Poison
    Visual Information Expansion

    ❧ Face

    Sea blue would be the best color describe her eyes. Bright and observant, they seem to change in color depending on her mood, or the light. Shifting to a pale icy blue to a sparkling sea of deep azure, they are a sight to behold. Her face is free from blemishes, although too much time in the sun may result in freckles.
    ❧ Body

    Her body is... thicc, in the right places though. Once lean and fit, childbirth had left her body a little curvier than it was before, but she isn't one to complain (nor are others). While she has the curves that many find conventionally attractive she also tries to keep fit by hiking. Olivia's days on the field looking for the freshest and most potent alchemical ingredients led her to love nature. She hikes often in search of fresh ingredients.
    ❧ Fashion

    Olivia wears the dress that is appropriate of Ithanian nobility that shows off the curves she was blessed with. Her mother was her source of fashion inspiration and as she was from Ithania, Olivia copied the dress ware of her homeland. However, she was raised and grew up on the isles of Yang-Tzu and often wears accessories or accents her outfits with Ch'ien-Ji inspiration.
    ❧ Voice

    She speaks with a very distinct accent, Inthanian in origin. It is the one true aspect of her that Olivia identifies with Ithania, her last hold onto the land she was born in.

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    Personality
    "Left awestruck by what they see."
    Traits

    External

    First impressions of Olivia are usually good as she strives to be as politeas possible, a virtue engrained into her head by her mother. Growing up as an Ithanian lady, she was taught proper etiquette and how to be treat others which has helped her grow into the charismatic woman she is today. She knows how to flatter, charm, or chat her way through most social gatherings with dialogue that is often laced with compliments and honey sweet words as she tries to keep a positive light about her. That isn't to say she is a pushover, however. Quite the opposite in fact, as Olivia is passionate in her ideals/beliefs and will argue with someone until the day has changed to night if they wish to challenge her. This stubbornness can lead to trouble. Her refusal to make change her beliefs or ideals, even so slightly, can lead to arguments that can ruin relationships.

    Internal

    Although Olivia may appear to be confident of herself and social skills she is extraordinarily paranoid. She knows little to nothing about Regalian nobility because of her time on the Yang-Tzu isles, as their social system was different from that of the archipelago. This paranoia also contributes to how guarded she is. She considers secrets and information a source of power and would rather not let others have that kind of power over her. Allowing one to know the truth about her personal life is a great honor, an honor that not all are worthy of.

    Friends & Family

    Around friends, Olivia's true nature shows. She is more honest and sincere, the promises and tales she say all ringing true. But it is still quite difficult to become one of these trusted people. Her family, however, she holds dear. She adored taking care of her child and even the small of time she had with her brother as a baby brought her endless joy. Now, however, she is childless, a widow, and her brother grown, but she still retains her motherly nature. Olivia's nature is so because of the lack of her own mother in her life, who spent the majority of her time in Ithania. She is usually overly concerned with how they are treated or feel.

    Morality

    Olivia could best be described as chaotic neutral. She is ambitious to a fault, striving to achieve her goals no matter who she runs over in the process. This being the case, she is also extremely selfish. After the death of most of her immediate family, Olivia began to consider herself the last hope for her house. In order to do this she needs to keep herself and her goals as the priorities in her life. That means putting the thoughts and feelings of others to the side because she can't afford to do otherwise and will do so through manipulation and deception. Her mother taught Olivia from a young age how to manipulate men and women to do as she wished through quick wit. The other woman in her life, her elderly Ch'ien-Ji nanny, showed Olivia how to use humility and humbleness to her advantage; all reinforcing her manipulative tendencies.

    Worldview

    Olivia lost faith in Unionism with the death of her husband and child, and with her recent interactions with the Emperor, could hardly consider him "holy". Even growing up she was never picked up the religious zeal of her parents as she was raised on the isles, where the Emperor is considered... Just an emperor. She'll still spew the payers and hymns she'd been taught by her mother as a child to keep the image as a devout Ithanian woman should, but it is all for show. Nowadays, she looks to the stars of the dragons in guidance as her nanny had shown her. Praying, wishing, hoping, that her husband and child are watching down on her. Her lack of faith also applies to the Regalian government and noble system as a whole as well. She finds the pompous and privileged nobles to be ignorant and crass while the commoners she had spoken with were much kinder to her. It is with these interactions that she views privilege as a double edged sword: she needs the privilege that comes with power to make good for her people but despises the way it inflates one's ego.

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    Abilities

    "For none of them can deny,"
    Talents

    ❧ Deception

    Olivia has grown up needing to lie to get what she truly wants. From lying to her parents about her marriage to their main competitor's son to lying to her husband about the death of his parents, Olivia will go the length to get what she desires. Her skill in deception could be compared to that of an actor deceiving the audience into thinking they truly are the character they portray.
    ❧ Alchemy

    Having studied alchemy in Yang-Tzu for a little over ten years, Olivia is an extremely capable alchemist The people of the Isles are naturally talented with the science and Olivia was tutored at the prestigious Liànjīn Shù Xuéyuàn, with the original intention being to help her family's business by providing better tasting teas and combination of teas. Recently, however, she has used her skill to murder her husband's parents in order to avenge her own.
    ❧ Fast Learner

    As a young woman of wealth it was expected of Olivia to learn various things from tutors and school. What wasn't expected, however, was the rate at which she learned these subjects. Olivia absorbs knowledge like a sponge absorbs water and she is quite proud of her ability to learn so quickly.
    ❧ Dancing

    Olivia's mother was obsessed with making sure her daughter was always kept up on Ithanian trends, and that included dancing. As a young child she was taught to waltz, took a few years of ballet, and some more traditional dances of the Ch'ien-Ji. While not something she brings up often, she does love to go out on the dance floor occasionally.
    ❧ Observant

    Olivia learned from her father to always pay attention to the details. As a ship captain himself once, often leading the family's trade ship, there were hundreds of things he needed to watch for out on the open sea. Olivia applies his teachings not only to sailing, but also to social interactions. She is capable of catching the subtle clues that give insight to the mood of others, the minor changes in their body language, or event a shift in their pitch.
    Weaknesses

    ❧ Paranoid

    Olivia believes herself to be the last hope for her family, and for this reason, she is very paranoid about her safety and the safety of her brother and cousins. Should a fight or violent situation begin to arise Olivia will try and find a way out of it with her words rather than through a show of strength. Her safety, and the safety of her family, is all that matters.
    ❧ Lightweight

    Despite the fact that Olivia has been drinking since she was a teenager, she has an incredibly low tolerance for alcohol. This isn't to say she will throw up easily after drinking a few glasses of wine, but more so that she gets drunk very quickly. Those few glasses may have her feeling a very pleasurable buzz that others may not get as easily.


    Trivia

    ❧ Quirks

    Her fan. The most sentimental thing she owns, it belonged to the older woman who nannied her as a child and began to teach her about astronomy. Through Olivia's life this woman mentored, cared, and basically raised her and at the of her life she bestowed this fan to her. Olivia always carries it with her and often one can get a grasp of her emotions depending what she does with it. Fan herself harder? Nervous or anxious. Cover her mouth? Embarrassed. How she interacts with her fan is a true insight into her mood.

    ❧ Skills

    Olivia is at her prime surrounded by people. She loves interacting with people and navigating the sea of social interactions. She is master of manipulations and loves to flex her muscles and see what she can do.
    ❧ Aliases & Nicknames

    Lady of the East, Madame Lady Shine, Lady's Shine, Liv, Olive
    Languages

    d'Ithanie

    {10/10} Olivia was taught the language by her mother, and was in fact the first language she learned. She is fluent in it and can read and write in it with ease.
    Dressalo

    {07/10} After being taught d'Ithanie by her mother, Olivia's father then taught her Dressalo. While Olivia can still speak, read, and write in it well enough she's a little rusty as she does not use this tongue that often as it was only spoken at home.
    Common

    {07/10} Olivia didn't learn Common until she moved to Yang-Tzu, and was learning it in tandem with Tatsugo. Even after learning it, she didn't even use the language that often as most people on the Isles spoke Tatsugo. It was only until coming to Regalia did she use it often, even though her thick Ithanian accent can be heard through it.
    Tatsugo

    {09/10} Olivia learned the tongue of Yang-Tzu after arrive in the foreign lands, and used it often. In fact, it was what she spoke most of the time, even often at home, until moving to Regalia. Nowadays she doesn't speak in Tatsugo very much, but still keeps up her practice.

    {09/10} Dai-li, The practice she keeps up with is the written form of Tatsugo, which is Dai-li. It is rather complicated and difficult to translate to other languages, so Olivia is glad she practices often.

    {06/10} Seraph, Like all children growing up in Yang-Tzu, Olivia was taught the script of the Seraph. However, as she does not read or write in this often, she is very rusty with it. She can still read and write in it, but doing either requires extra work and time to translate.
    Alt-Regalisch

    {02/10} Olivia and her cousin, Lycette, have recently began to learn the language together. Teaching and working with one another suing various books and text as well a private tutor. She can barely understand the spoken tongue, and doesn't even bother trying to listen in on conversations. Reading it is slightly easier, but still requires a textbook nearby to help her translate it perfectly.
    Skod

    {01/10} A venture of her own, Olivia has began to work on learning the Northerne tongue. She increasingly finds herself in the company of the Velheim and wishes to be able to understand what they say. Unfortunately, she is having difficulties with it and can't understand anything but the most basic of words.
    Likes

    Wine

    fam traditionm
    Ithania

    homeland
    Children

    rip
    Alchemy

    nice
    Astronomy

    always interested her
    Ch'ien-Ji

    her (dead) hubby & her mentor(s)
    Yang-Tzu

    where she grew up
    Tea

    owns plantations
    Gossip

    likes this tea too
    Hiking

    reminiscent of her days doing field work, she enjoys hiking through nature and acquiring alchemic ingredients
    Dislikes

    Varran

    f u
    Pirates

    f u
    Whiskey

    ew
    Slavery

    is against children being forced/born into slavery
    Regalia

    ew

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    Life Story
    "The might of Madame Lady Shine."
    Timeline

    ❧ 270 AC
    Born in Ithania to a wealthy merchant family.

    ❧ 277 AC
    Mother and father gave birth to younger brother, age seven.

    ❧ 278 AC
    Moved to Yang-Tzu Isles because father acquired two tea plantation, age eight.

    ❧ 278 AC
    Began to learn about astronomy and Ch'ien-Ji culture, religion, and language of the islands from an elderly Ch'ien-Ji nanny, age nine.

    ❧ 282 AC
    Fell in love with the son of her family's primary competition when it came to tea, age twelve.

    ❧ 282 AC
    Begins to dabble in alchemy, age fifteen.

    ❧ 286 AC
    Olivia begins tutelage under the Ithanian ambassador to Yang-Tzu, age sixteen.

    ❧ 290 AC
    Pursues her passion for alchemy, and begins to attend Liànjīn Shù Xuéyuàn also begins to study under the Regalian ambassador to Yang-Tzu, age twenty.

    ❧ 293 AC
    Got married to tea competitor's son in secret which caused strife amongst both families, age twenty three.

    ❧ 293 AC
    Gave birth to a healthy baby girl, age twenty three.

    ❧ 294 AC
    Graduated from Liànjīn Shù Xuéyuàn as a Scholar of Alchemy, age twenty four.

    ❧ 295 AC
    Both parents died at sea while aboard one of the family's trade ships, age twenty five.

    ❧ 297 AC
    While working on her independent alchemic research, Olivia discovered that her husband's parents were the cause of death of her parents because they hired pirates, age twenty seven.

    ❧ 299 AC
    Olivia avenges her parents by poisoning her inlaws with her Expert alchemic knowledge, killing both of them, age twenty nine.

    ❧ 302 AC
    Her husband and daughter sail to Ithania for a vacation and opportunity to spend more time with other family, Olivia stays in Montania to continue her studies, age thirty two.


    ❧ 303 AC
    Her mother's home in Ithania is burned and raided by Varran pirates, and her daughter and husband are killed as well, age thirty three.

    ❧ 304 AC
    Olivia is enraged and heads to Regalia in order to avenge her husband and daughter by acquiring political power to stop the pirate raids as well as to gain renown for her family, age thirty four.

    ❧ 304 AC
    In order to gain this renown, Olivia has began to play the endless games of the nobles as an outsider; from attempting to ally herself with powerful houses to trying to seduce others, she is ready to gain the power she needs to make her family known, age thirty four.

    ❧ 305 AC
    Olivia has risen through the ranks of nobility as is now trying to go about turning her dreams into reality, age thirty five.
     
    • Winner Winner x 4
    #1 Posidem, May 25, 2016
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2017
  2. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    relationships
    • Virathus Krupp (@Theoderic ) [POTENTIAL SUITOR] - Olivia recently met the man and the first impression went over pretty well, despite her being rather drunk. She was impressed by his title and mannerisms and enjoyed the little date they went on. She's looking forward to their next one.
      • Olivia met with the man only briefly during the afterparty of the Coen performance, but at least he had the sense to keep her by his side. Plus, he accompanied her out so she wouldn't have to clock Leah and Tristan alone.
      • Having heard of the settlement he had established, Olivia sent some donations as well as letter. The letter was mostly congratulatory in nature but also offered an insight into her affection for the man. She awaits a response.
      • The two danced together at the de Santigo beach party and had a good time. Later on, however, things went south. Krupp got shitfaced and his rude cousin told Olivia off.
      • Olivia ran into Virathus at the tavern and after discussing the previous event, Olivia allowed him to take her to the park. They dined on juicy go(ssip)ose and wine. A very eventful night and one Olivia wouldn't forget.
      • Virathus invited Olivia to tour a potential estate with him where the two of them flirted and discussed many things. The date ended with Virathus plucking a rose for her and...
      • Virathus came to her aide when the Leper Pretender threatened her, a true gentleman.
    • Evoy O'Hannigan (@WrongChat ) [POTENTIAL SUITOR] - Olivia got drunk the first time she met Evoy. And the second time. And the third time. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
      • She actually enjoyed the time she spent with the blond and flirts with him in the same playful way he flirts with her.
      • They met again and danced the night away before retreating to his home in Regalia. Where she almost spent the night. Almost.
      • They crossed paths once more at the after party of the Coen performance event. While he wasn't rude by any means, Olivia did not appreciate being ignored and left to fend for herself amongst strangers. The whole point of making friends was so they could introduce her to their friends!
    • Sibeal O’Hanigan (@WildRoze ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Has met the girl a few times -- usually with Evoy nearby -- and likes her well enough.

    • Fionola O’Hanigan (@Nesstro ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - She met the blind girl once and feels a pang of pity and wishes the best for her.

    • Atticus Faulkner (@Jovee ) [POTENTIAL SUITOR] - She met the man at the tavern briefly and the two had a pleasant enough conversation before an odd ex slave woman said the most inappropriate things. Olivia is impressed with his musical skill and interested in learning more about his time in Ithania.
      • They met again whilst she danced and he played a lovely tune on the harmonica. She could tell that the attention she focused on Evoy had hurt his feelings but she hopes he will be able to get over it.
      • Met with him outside the tavern briefly. While he didn't say anything rude, the lost puppy that follows him around (Maja) ruined the conversation... Again.
    • Lionel Coen (@Optimalfriskies ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Olivia only met with the Ser briefly, but like his company and appreciated his manners. The two talked of music for a moment and they both have a mutual love for the art. She hopes to see him at his upcoming event.

    • Nathaniel Bigge (@Stark_Trek ) [ACQUAINTANCE] - Olivia has only met with the man a few times, and each interaction was as brief as the last. Their interactions may be sparse but thus far he has shown no reason for her to dislike him.
      • The two got in a spat.
      • Olivia clockedt Nathaniel.
      • Nathaniel and Olivia had an interesting conversation at the first Safeguard meeting.
    • Marcus Bigge (@GoldWolfGaming ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Seemingly kind and the first to care of her issues Olivia was having with her papers, she likes him well enough.
      • The two watched the cannon showing together and were cordial with one another.
      • They had pleasant enough conversations since, and Olivia much prefers this Bigge over the other.
    • Celia Coen (@Halsi ) [POTENTIAL ENEMY] - They met briefly, very briefly, at an imperial audience where Celia tried to be sly and insult Olivia. Olivia promptly clockedt her and the younger woman was left speechless. They are not on the best of terms.
      • They met at the afterparty of the Coen performance event. No words were exchanged, but they still managed to got the message across that they hate each other, a noteworthy accomplishment.
    • Johanna Hartlin (@IriCrescent ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Has met the woman a few times and enjoys her company thus far, and finds her intriguing. She even alluded to a job offer for the girl.
      • Met with the girl a second time and appreciated her friendly advice, even if Olivia completely ignored it a few minutes later.
    • Elizabeth Black (@Miss_Confined ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - She has met the young girl a few times and is impressed by how she handles herself with older company. Olivia also thinks she is adorable and her motherly instincts tell her to protect the babe at all cost.

    • Leah Kade (@Missmaggy2u ) [POTENTIAL ENEMY] - Olivia's first impression of Leah was not the best. Already flustered with how the other nobles had been treating her, Olivia did not turn the other cheek. A battle of wits and words took place, and although Leah had a certain Imperial Guard have the whole estate emptied just because of Olivia, the winner of their word spar could not be determined. Olivia clokedt the woman for her mannish figure simply by standing beside her.

    • Tristan ??? (@SupremeCripple ) [POTENTIAL ENEMY] - An Imperial Guard who appears to be proud of the fact that his continued existence in Regalia and entire position is built upon some weird favor he alone holds from the Emperor. Olivia finds his blatant boasting of said favor annoying, immature, and tiresome. AND, he's a Silven to boot. He also followed the Leah woman around like a puppy dog, doing her bidding like a b!tch.

    • Gregor Typhonus (@Greenie ) [UNFRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Olivia had been as polite as was the usual, but was greeted with apparent ignorance and indifference by the Typhonus man, which prompted a snappy response from the Ithanian.

    • Ida d'Vaud (@DizPanda ) [POTENTIAL ENEMY] - Olivia had briefly met the girl at the showing of the cannons where she was a servant and thought nothing of her. She'd soon find out that the girl was rude, disrespectful, and apparently a cousin to Virathus. Olivia does not like her one bit.
      • The two have met since and Ida very much dislikes her... For whatever reason.
    • Cyril Monette (@Nesstro ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - Olivia just met the woman, but already she has made a good impression upon her. Olivia was relieved to speak the tongue of her mother with another woman and even managed to secure her as a performer at an upcoming event!

    • Maja Khalil (@SlyChung ) [POTENTIAL ENEMY] - Olivia first met the girl when she interrupted her conversation with Atticus and proceeded to insult Olivia for no apparent reason.
      • Their second meeting went much like the first and Olivia is not impressed.
    • Xavier Ravenstad (@Muffins_ ) [ENEMY] - Olivia recently met the leper at the first Safeguard meeting, but had heard reputation before. Already disgusted by his actions, she proceeded to clock him at every chance she had. Eventually, he threatened to have her beat, which she of course did not take very well. She also managed to sneak into the Peirgarten lands under his nose -- err, mask.

    • Sigurna Wodenstaff (@SpunSugar ) [FRIENDLY ACQUAINTANCE] - While they had been the presence of one another at various noble gatherings, they had never officially met until recently, when Olivia saw the woman at the tavern. They then had an interesting conversation. Following that, Olivia joined her charter and saw the woman once again at the first Safeguard meeting.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    #2 Posidem, May 25, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2017
  3. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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  4. LumosJared

    LumosJared Around

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    Add one weakness of any sort.

    Add 1-2 sentences explaining how she intends to make her house rise again.

    COlour all changes in blue and tag me when you're done
     
  5. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    #5 Posidem, Jun 1, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2016
  6. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    Update 6/7/16
    • Added in some fabulous artwork done by @Gabriel
     
  7. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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  8. LumosJared

    LumosJared Around

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    Oh goodness. Approved!
     
  9. GrilledCheese2

    GrilledCheese2 Potato in a sock

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    Don forget Charlie :D
     
  10. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    @Lore major edits have been made seeing as many systems have been overhauled/changed since the original application was approved. Changes can be seen in red/blue, red being what I want to remove and blue being new changes. Most, if not all, of these changes have to do with the revision of the magic system and the new rules/perquisites required to obtain a magic character, of which I don't think I meet. ALSO, while y'all are lookin at this could you unarchive the noble family thread I made for her. pls & thnx.
     
  11. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    Remove the sections marked in red as you have already stated wanting to remove them and them being here makes the review process difficult as they are still a part of the sheet. Have the sheet where you want it and don't have anything else that doesn't belong. Once you do that I can provide you with a review. @Posidem

    Additionally, I'll see about your thread.
     
  12. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    #12 Posidem, Aug 23, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2017
  13. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    Update 08/25/17
    • Updated outdated info.
    • Got rid of magic.
    • Added in a relationship section.
     
  14. _GoldWolf_

    _GoldWolf_ Regalian Lesser Noble

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    A very well written Character Application! :D
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  15. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    @Posidem your sheet is currently in the previous format, if I am to provide you a review you will need to update it to the current one.
     
  16. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    #16 Posidem, Aug 27, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2017
  17. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    Review
    • First point is removing all instances of noble blood/heritage/relationships as that cannot be without being approved in the noble system.
    • Remove all of your different skills except for one. You may only have one of the mentioned skills for the sake of balancing.
    Personality and Abilities
    • I see no true issues here, though you will be required to rework them all to remove mentioning's of nobility. The most you can be is wealthy commoner.
    • For your fifth paragraph I find it difficult to believe that someone ingrained in Unionism would abandon it and pick up Dragon worship. If you could clarify the rationality to do so I can accept it, but I'm having difficulties with that.
    Life Story
    • Remove the learning of Astronomy as this character is based on Alchemy primarily
    • Remove mentioning's nobility as I have already addressed before. There may be some reworking to do besides changing the word 'nobility' to 'wealthy commoner'
    • Suggesting that you may want to rework your current plot as you are no longer nobility. How to gain noble favor, etc.
    Make the above edits and tag myself once completed @Posidem
     
  18. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    @Wumpatron edits have been made, mostly, although I did have concerns/notes to your review.

    As stated here (specifically the screenshot) those raised in Yang-Tzu and taught Celestial Theory, as Olivia was, are permitted to enroll in another school. I will remove the Discipline of Aloria but will not remove the Discipline of Celestial Theory as it is:
    a) allowed according to the wiki
    b) essential to her character and conflict of faith that later arises.

    If this isn't the case, fix the wiki so it doesn't cause any confusion such as this in the future.
    [​IMG]

    The fifth paragraph is entirely optional, stated in the character application, and is not subject to your review so I will not be editing it in the slightest; but your comments are noted.

    Mentions of nobility have been removed but her goal remains the same: to bring relevance to her house by securing nobility.
     
  19. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    • It only applies to Chien-Ji as it pertains to their religion and general upbringing. Your character is not a Chien-Ji nor were they a part of the religion. Also when you took the time to quote the wiki I trust you noticed that the discipline is reserved for only Chien-Ji. Please remove.
    • It is optional on the basis of if you choose to include it or not, if you include it I will review it. So long as you acknowledge what I have said as it will pertain to how your character views their surroundings/how they will be seen then so be it.
    • I am having some issues with your Life Story upon your removing nobility. Let me give a rundown of the issues I am having.
      • Trade ships
      • Five tea plantations
      • Three vineyards
    • These are unrealistic for even a noble to possess, let alone a commoner of any wealth. Select one of the three and make the appropriate edits throughout. If you choose the tea or vineyards, no more than two may be owned.
    Make the above edits and tag myself once completed @Posidem
     
  20. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    I don't see what being Ch'ien-Ji has to do with it. You yourself just stated that it as to do with religion and general upbringing... (not race) And Olivia was raised by a Ch'ien-Ji nanny. This woman imparted her culture, religion, and language onto Olivia and was an important person in her life since the age of seven. She basically raised her. This is noted through out the history and other sections of the application. Again, the only reason I'm holding out on removing that is because it holds such importance to her identity.

    [​IMG]
    Removed mention of vineyards, reduced tea plantations to two, and as for the trade ships,,, They own like a singular ship that they use,, since they do live on an island...

    I hope these edits are appropriate @Wumpatron.
     
  21. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    • I have already spoken with other Lore Staff members on the matter regarding the Astronomy. This is the final time I will ask you to remove it. Having a skill in Astronomy is not imperative to the character as it is a skill, not an identity. Her Chien-Ji nanny fulfills the necessity for her identity.
    • There is no reason to quote the template as I was not asking any changes of you. I only am making sure you are aware of the oddity that is transferring from Unionism to dragon worship and the nuances that accompany changes in faith.
    Make the singular edit in regards to Astronomy and you will have an approval, no exceptions on it. @Posidem
     
  22. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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  23. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    Approved

    For future reference, being rude/overtly difficult will result in a rejection. An approved application is a privilege, not a right. Happy roleplaying.
     
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  24. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    Update 10/26/17
    • Added in some fabulous artwork done by @MantaRey
     
  25. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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    Update 12/11/17
    • Aged Olivia up by five years to make sense of her timeline.
    • Added Skill (Expert of School of Statesmanship; Discipline of Diplomacy and Realm Statesmanship, Graduate of Law).
    @Lore assuming this constitutes another review but if not,,, cool
     
    #25 Posidem, Dec 11, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
  26. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    This will constitute a rereview, so I'll be claiming this
     
  27. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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    Decide between two intellect schools and remove the rest. You can be Alchemy and one of the Statesmanship Disciplines or Two Statesman Disciplines, but not four intellect schools. Make the appropriate changes and tag myself once completed @Posidem
     
  28. Posidem

    Posidem Archmage of Avgard

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  29. Wumpatron

    Wumpatron Das Wump

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