Offering 350r For Whoever Does This Simple Rewrite!

[soapboxstage]

I made this char as my first character. I kinda killed off all possible roleplay ideas within a day or two of roleplay. So I'm hiring someone (preferably someone with nothing better to do) to do a basic rewrite on this character. I basically want the main of the backstory to stay the same. I really want the main ambition changed and the characteristics and traits. I want to something that adds a bit of depth to the character that gives him a main goal. A change of the weaknesses may also help. Don't go crazy with it. Kinda try to keep it a bit simple but make it add something to roleplay. Surprise me with it. That will help me roleplay it a bit better and don't make it mister depressy-pressy and mister im scared. Hope you guys get some good ideas! Copy and paste your edit bellow and put your IGN and Ill pay if I accept it. Thanks!

https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/akoni-kahele.44819/

 

[soapboxstage]

ps u can affect the backstory minorly if u wish

 

[Jacobcraft04]

I could try..

 

[soapboxstage]

ok ill pay for the best one

 

[soapboxstage]

oh and ignore the thing on the back of the skin

 

[soapboxstage]

Price raised due to low results

 

[soapboxstage]

If I have no results by midnight pst tonight, I will be closing submissions

 

[Korgex12]

Somebody may apply if you post this in the massive marketplace.

 

[soapboxstage]

ok thanks

 

[HeyoBiggums]

Honestly, the only way for you to be satisfied with the character application is to write it yourself! Which will make you feel more accomplished about yourself and make you want to do more! So no need to use your regalia in such a lazy way! Just look at your application and re read it fixing any errors you see! Now on that note, you are still allowed to change the sheet even though it is approved (just tag the staff member who approved it)!

 

[soapboxstage]

Well this was my first character and I ran out of roleplay with him. I want someone else's point on him so that I can get a better, more interesting roleplay out of him

 

[soapboxstage]

My problem is that there is no problem there is nothing for him to do

 

[Korgex12]

My problem is that there is no problem there is nothing for him to do

Click to shrink...

Try checking other apps for ideas.

 

[FireFan96]

The biggest issue I see is that the job is probably impossible to do. I'll try to be brief on this:

Akoni was created by you, and you alone. You know the character better than anybody else. You've roleplayed them, and have a feel for them. The way I see rewriting his app, would be the same if you were reading a script for a character written by somebody else. Sure, there's people who can do it right, but it also limits you to play the character according to the script. I personally don't like forcing people to RP a character a certain way, especially one that wasn't thought of by me.

Right now, you think you are at a dead end with your character. But 2 days isn't enough time to fulfill the ambition I see on the app. He wants to learn about the sea. One idea would be to search out a sailor who is eagerly waiting for the seas to be rid of bone horrors. A Maiar could be a very useful member on a ship (at least the non Way of Tides ones)
Or you could try getting a job as a fisherman. Maiar can swim pretty deep, so catching fish should help eliminate the competition. This could create some drama for other fisherman, and now you have conflict.

These are just two ideas that sorta tie in to Akoni's ambition. Both ideas require some sleuthing around to find people willing to work with a Maiar. Though from my observances, there's definitely some people who could care less about races, and might be willing to give some help.

Who these people are specifically I have no idea. But they exist.

 

[Omnomivore]

Well this was my first character and I ran out of roleplay with him. I want someone else's point on him so that I can get a better, more interesting roleplay out of him

Click to shrink...

If you toss it on a Google doc I'd be willing to give commentary on various points and suggestions (for free). But as another said, you'll only fully get your character when you write it yourself.

 

[soapboxstage]

I should have a doc https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eFyFqoV1hZ6CNcP6N_xYSSy6qoXx-O2P4SH4ExxFOc4/edit?usp=sharing I just need an idea for some weakness to add character depth and I need some main ambition and goals. Again this is more of a side char

 

[soapboxstage]

The biggest issue I see is that the job is probably impossible to do. I'll try to be brief on this:

Akoni was created by you, and you alone. You know the character better than anybody else. You've roleplayed them, and have a feel for them. The way I see rewriting his app, would be the same if you were reading a script for a character written by somebody else. Sure, there's people who can do it right, but it also limits you to play the character according to the script. I personally don't like forcing people to RP a character a certain way, especially one that wasn't thought of by me.

Right now, you think you are at a dead end with your character. But 2 days isn't enough time to fulfill the ambition I see on the app. He wants to learn about the sea. One idea would be to search out a sailor who is eagerly waiting for the seas to be rid of bone horrors. A Maiar could be a very useful member on a ship (at least the non Way of Tides ones)
Or you could try getting a job as a fisherman. Maiar can swim pretty deep, so catching fish should help eliminate the competition. This could create some drama for other fisherman, and now you have conflict.

These are just two ideas that sorta tie in to Akoni's ambition. Both ideas require some sleuthing around to find people willing to work with a Maiar. Though from my observances, there's definitely some people who could care less about races, and might be willing to give some help.

Who these people are specifically I have no idea. But they exist.

Click to shrink...

yeah ok Ill do some work and split the money evenly between you guys
sorry didn't c this post earlier btw thanks!

 

[soapboxstage]

I just moved on with this char earlier and kinda wanted to come back to him thanks