Fen'nan stared at the Modern Altalar that was written across the pages, slumped down in her chair, elbow propped on the desk as she rested her head in her hand, tired blue-green eyes glaring at the texts. Pages illuminated alone by the faint, dim candle that blazed in the corner of her desk in the otherwise dark room.
She glanced to the book to see how much she'd read thus far and to her dismay, found herself only five pages into it. The Altalar let out a long groan and let her face fall into the book. She exhaled. She had hoped Leironse had forgotten about reading the texts, but it was only to her bitterness he had not.
She far preferred her literature of adventure and fiction that kept her rapt and anticipating. Fen turned her head to the side, peering at the rest of the small stack of unread books of the same subject. She groaned and let her eyes fall shut. Just a small break, really...
~~~
The feeling of sunlight warmed the side of her face, someone's fingers gently stroking the hair from her forehead. The rise and fall of a chest beneath her head. She felt soothed, relaxed, peaceful oddly enough, and without opening her eyes, she already knew who's chest she rested her head on.
"Is this a dream...?" She mumbled, unwilling to open her eyes as a cool, gentle breeze blew across her face that smelled of fresh spring. She felt the tickle of a grass blade graze her cheek.
"What do you think?" A wry, young male voice responded, the rumble of his words reverberating through his chest, a vibration against her ear. Fen'nan smiled a bit and opened her eyes.
She lay upon her male's leather adorned chest, glancing up to the Sundial Altalar's face. Azekeil grinned back down at her, his roguishly handsome face lightened up, dark brown eyes twinkling as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his stubble tickling her skin. Fen smiled a bit more, her gaze briefly flitting around. Tall, green grass encompassed them, swaying slightly with an invisible breeze, shielding her from seeing anything else other then him and the bright, clear blue sky above them.
"Is it real?" She asked him softly, her hand running over his leather armored chest, listening for a heartbeat underneath the chest she lay on, but she couldn't hear anything other the the gentle rustle of the grass and his relaxed breathing into the top of her head.
"Does it matter?" He asked.
She paused, letting her eyes fall shut again. "I suppose not." She murmured a bit somberly, fingers tightening a bit on his chest. He chuckled softly, her head bobbing a bit with the movement of his chest vibrations. It made her smile a bit as much as it made her ache. She didn't really want to know in that moment. As much as she wanted to crawl into his skin and never leave.
"Are the Mage Wars really so boring?" He mused, repeating the gentle motion of running his hands through her hair.
"I think it's really just a plot for Leironse to get me to off myself," she muttered dryly, lips curving a bit into a smirk, eyes watering beneath closed lids, swallowing.
He barked a laugh. "Not nearly as fun as reading the 'Lusty Allar Maid' I take it?" He teased softly. Fen gave a snort and smacked her hand on his chest lightly. He was trying to keep it light. Keep her up.
"Arse," she muttered wryly, "Leironse would positively sigh his insides out if he thought I even touched the book. He already sighs a million times as it is." She joked faintly.
"You do give him a lot to sigh about." Azekeil responded, bemused.
"We can't all be as entertaining as me." She responded smugly in a strained tone.
He chuckled a bit but his tone became more serious as his arm draped around her waist, pulling her a bit closer to him, and she adjusted her head on his chest a little higher, smiling a bit as he pressed a kiss to her forehead again, his hand rubbing her bare shoulder. "Why religion though, huh? You've never cared. Not about this. Our culture. Venalaris just made more certain of it."
She paused briefly, her eyes flicking open as her brows furrowed, staring at their feet. "I owe a lot to Leironse," she murmured somberly. "When I lost my ear tips...I dunno. He gave them back to me when I was at my lowest. He said it was the Gods really, the Pantheon...and if it was...maybe they are out there. Watching. Maybe they do care." Fen'nan paused, jaw clenching, "And If there's a chance for our people to come back. I want to help. I want to be there for it."
Azakeil didn't respond for a moment, but she felt him nod, his chin setting up to rest on her temple. "You owe a lot to everyone." He murmured after a moment.
Fen flinched, she was surprised, the insult stinging a bit. Her lips twisted, pursing into a slight frown as she swallowed and nodded. "I know," she said in a stifled tone, "I know that."
"You know, but you don't act. You like being the bad guy, and you shouldn't. Because it's not you. It's never been you. You owe them a lot. Like an apology," he said slowly, cautiously. "To Novellia, Andrath—mmf." His words ceased as she turned over so she nearly lied on top of him entirely, covering his lips with her hand as she stared up at him while he lowered his chin to his neck to stare down at her.
"Nooooo," she said, crossingly. "Don't ruin the moment," she complained with a groan.
His dark eyes crinkled with a smile as he reached up and gently took her hand away. "It was bound to happen eventually," he murmured with amusement, reaching over and brushing a long, wavy strand from her forehead, his callused fingers tickling her forehead. "It's okay to feel hurt, Sadima." He said quietly with a small frown.
"I'm not." She hissed a bit, a bitter pain hitting her, glancing away and recoiling a bit from his touch, bringing her head back.
"Oh, come on," Azekeil said in a slight playful tone, "At least abstain from lying to the dead. That's just rude."
"Yer not funny."
"I beg to differ," he said with a tone of outrageous, high, mocking arrogance that made her lighten up somewhat, her lips curving up a bit.
"Even Andrathath called you out for feeling things for h—no, no, don't hit me," he said quickly as she scowled deeply and raised her hand a bit, but pausing at his quick effort to save himself. "I'm just saying. It's okay to feel things. Trust them. Not everyone's out to get ya, you know."
The redhead blinked at him, her eyes were sad briefly before they turned angry, scowling slightly. "The only one I can trust is me." She hissed a bit, bristling in a indignant manner. He moved to sit up slowly.
He shook his head, smirking a bit faintly. "Oh, my Fen'nan. You never see the bigger picture until someone slaps you with it."
The Sundial stood, peering down at the redhead and extending his dark hand down to her, "Get up. I wanna show you something."
The crimson-haired elf scowled at him a moment longer before she took his hand and stood, arching a brow at him in question before he took her gently but firmly by the shoulders and turned her around.
A fair distance away from them, across the sprawling green grass were multiple individuals. Fen'nan recognized them instantly.
A one-eyed Brood turned and smirked at her from afar. Milo. A pale, blonde-haired, bright blue eyed woman smiled brightly at her. Sylvi. A woman with dark hair let out a laugh, the giggle of Lina echoing through the empty field. Merril waved at her from the distance. Andrathath stared. A grinning Gwelurin shouted something but Fen'nan couldn't quite catch it. Novellia smiled warmly at her. A Half-Varran girl ran around the group in dizzying loops, a crippled Yasuke fell over and disappeared in the grass. Leironse stared with his wise, impassive gaze. So many others stared at her from afar. So many faces. Fen'nan blinked.
"Just because we aren't here," a female voice said beside Fen'nan, causing Fen to turn her head to the taller, crimson-haired Altalar now at her left side, sunlight highlighting her beautiful features that resembled Fen's own in many ways. The female paused briefly and glanced at Fen and smiled, "Doesn't mean they aren't."
Fen'nan's brows furrowed at her sister before she exhaled, looking out from across the the field at the large grouping on the other side of it. Azekeil stepped up beside her on her other side, setting a hand on her shoulder as he stared out with the other two. Fen'nan let out a long sigh, as if torn from the depths of her soul.
Azekeil bent and pressed a kiss to her temple, his warm breath tickling her ear as he murmured in his rich voice, his few words of consolation.
"You are not alone."
~~~~~
Fen'nan jolted awake, blinking as she sat upright in the wooden chair, her back aching, she looked down to the open texts on the desk, which to her dismay, paper were now drooled on. She exhaled and blinked her sleepy eyes to glance over at the open door that allowed her a view unto the outside balcony, the sky lit with the light, orange and pinks of the winter dawn, running a hand through long, tussled, tangled waves of crimson.
There was a small revelation in this. One that indeed made her realize to her dismay, that she did, in fact, care. Her smile slowly turned into a scowl, letting out a brash, blunt complaint of exasperation.
"Oh. Fuckin' shite."
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