Rejected Sheet Nkosi

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Speedl0rd, Jul 22, 2021.

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what should i get for dinner

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  1. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    Character Information
    • Given Name - Crüci’ghellon Vvalöv Raksh
    • Adopted Names - Crücibraxas Vvalövilinar Sol'kastazïn ke’ Rävakar, Nkosi, Bisclavret, Crücivostros
    • Race - Feka Asha (Shenathar and Rakhet)
    • Age - 21, born October 31st, 288 AC
    • Sex - Male
    • Sexuality - certified freak
    • Eye Color - Gold
    Core Concept
    • Nkosi believes Abbaghellon is to blame for all of his failures and pains he’s experienced, and as such has dedicated his life to acting in spite of their tenets, opting to abstain from violence whenever possible, and protect the weak.
    • A gently deranged man with extreme paranoia, recently freed from a very very sheltered life as an enslaved gladiator, forced into proper society for the first time and doing his best to live normally.
    Proficiency Information
    • +20 Fist Combat | Base Points
    • +10 Strength Training | Base Points
    • +10 Hunting Arts | Hobby Points
    • +6 Roguery | Base Points
    • +5 Perception Training | Base Points
    • +4 Shielding Combat | Base Points
    • +3 Linguistics (Altalar) | Base Points
    • +2 Construction Art | Base Points
    • 20 Physical Stat
    Ability Information
    • Roguery:
      • Wall Climb 3
      • Rogue Gift 4
    Languages
    • Common (Free)
    • Katharic (Raised with)
    • Altalar (Linguistics)
    Appearance Information
    • Nkosi’s left eye is gold (Void Ocular), his eye sockets are tinted a bit darker than the rest of him, (Void Sight), and his skin is overall darker than Shenathar typically are (Void Pigment). For more unconventional mutations, his lower half is thickly furred with catlike paws for feet, forcing him to walk on his toes (Pagan March), he has three rows of sharp and mismatched teeth (though the third row are too small to do anything), with fangs that circle the opening of his throat (Monster Gnash). Finally, he has two lipless mouths on his left side (Monster Feast), whose teeth have been plucked, and the mouths themselves sewn shut, appearing as fresh surgery scars. His left ear has been sliced in half.
    • Nkosi is a tall (6’10”) muscular man, with long arms, big hands with spidery fingers, with fur that covers his limbs, shoulders, and parts of his chest and stomach. He has a long thick tail, he’s covered in a multitude of scars, and he’s missing part of his left ear. Overall, he appears very beastlike.
    Life Story
    • A furred baby was born to the chieftain’s daughter of a relatively small tribe of Shenathar, tucked away in the mountains of Rävakar. They thanked their god Abbaghellon for this miracle child and used him as a sign and symbol that they were doing something right.
    • When he was eight years old, the tribe was slaughtered by a group of mercenaries and the children were rounded up and taken to train under Tarakhal soldiers.
    • When he was twelve, he was entered into his first pit fight against another slave. After winning, the Altalar branded the boy on the back of the neck with the insignia of Valeek, and started him off on his career as a gladiator, using the boys halfbreed nature as a way to justify his continued enslavement.
    • Thanks to his beastlike appearance, Crüci was marketed as a tamed but still dangerous undiscovered species of Kathar pulled from the shadow isles.
    • He endured pain and death, enough deaths to make him begin to lose grip on reality.
    • At seventeen, Crüci’s life as a gladiator came to an end when he was bought by a fan, a woman named Vizi, a high priestess of the Prefect of Pride, and member of the lesser Kaahl Sol'kastazïn. After dueling and killing her husband, the first life he’d taken outside of a Henate’s, they were married and his name was changed to Crücibraxas Vvalövilinar Sol'kastazïn ke’ Rävakar.
    • At eighteen, he was sent to fight the Oscithar, before being pulled out and given a s unit of 73 Kathar, made up of criminals and slaves being told that fighting in this unit would earn them their freedom.
    • They were dispatched to Teled Methen to help with the war, and after the war ended, Crüci took this chance to flee for Daendroc.
    • After fleeing from the empire, he tried to live with the Asha, but found it difficult. He eventually managed to get a job as a lowly grunt in a small guardlike force that traveled between cities, dealing with pirates and bandits.
    • He ended up killing another soldier that verbally hazed him and was arrested and thrown into prison where he rotted for three months, before escaping during a riot.
    • He decided Regalia was his last chance at living a worthwhile life, hearing about how it was apparently a melting pot of cultures, which in his mind meant someone like him would be accepted. And so, he arrived in Regalia, on February 6th, 309 AC, where he got a job at the docks loading and unloading ships.


    Progression Information
    • Warrior Level 2, Rogue Level 1
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Synne - Dad
    Romantic Attraction | 0/10
    Crushing | 0/10
    Family Bond | 8/1o
    Friendship | 7/10
    Caring | 10/10
    Hatred | 0/10
    Fear | 2/10

    Fleur - Food Giver
    Romantic Attraction | 0/10
    Crushing | 0/10
    Family Bond | 7/1o
    Friendship | 8/10
    Caring | 10/10
    Hatred | 0/10
    Fear | 1/10

    Frog - Homie
    Romantic Attraction | 0/10
    Crushing | 0/10
    Family Bond | 7/1o
    Friendship | 6/10
    Caring | 10/10
    Hatred | 0/10
    Fear | 5/10

    Nuru Bunny - "Twin Sister"
    Romantic Attraction | 0/10
    Crushing | 0/10
    Family Bond | 10/1o
    Friendship | 1/10
    Caring | 10 (sometimes)/10
    Hatred | 0/10
    Fear | 10/10

    Aeurisia - Wife
    Romantic Attraction | 10/10
    Crushing | 10/10
    Family Bond | 8/1o
    Friendship | 6/10
    Caring | 10/10
    Hatred | 0/10
    Fear | 3/10

    Hatharal - this bitch
    Romantic Attraction | 0/10
    Crushing | 0/10
    Family Bond | 1/1o
    Friendship | 7/10
    Caring | 9/10
    Hatred | 4/10
    Fear | 1/10



     
    • Powerful Powerful x 4
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    #1 Speedl0rd, Jul 22, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2021
  2. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
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  3. YunYun

    YunYun cat girls nya nya nya

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    REJECTED
     
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  4. Antimreoir

    Antimreoir Refugee

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    Claimed for review, expect a response shortly! @Speedl0rd
     
  5. Antimreoir

    Antimreoir Refugee

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    Alright, let's get down to this review;
    • You have spent 65 Skill Points, you only have 50, remove 15 of these.
    • All of your points are stacked into Combat, please vary these, lower your combative investment and place them into other subjects to round out the character more.
    • Nkosi would know Ibeth and Kathar Altalar as racial languages, and Common as a free language. Remove Wyld Altalar or invest 3 Points in Linguistic Sciences.
    Make these changes and we'll get you approved!
     
  6. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
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    @Antimreoir lol i cant do math. i enlisted the help of 4 others to help me and i made him a musician :)

     
  7. Antimreoir

    Antimreoir Refugee

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    Approved!
     
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  8. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    out here wit da vampire shit. review me pleaseweard
     
  9. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey

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    @Speedl0rd Hello, I've claimed this app for review and will get back to you within 48 hours.
     
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  10. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey

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    @Speedl0rd After reviewing your application, some things still need correction:
    • Please include a Vampiric Form Section.
    Once you have done this, tag me and I will review it once more.
     
  11. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    @Follower forgot oops
     
  12. YunYun

    YunYun cat girls nya nya nya

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    Rejected.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey

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    @Speedl0rd Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
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  14. Bellorie

    Bellorie scale enthusiast

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    "disloyal spouse and robs unconscious people" good job!!!!!!!!!
     
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  15. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    @Follower Redid his personality and backstory (though the backstory is mostly the same, I just reworded it all and made it a bit longer oopsie) also made him a bit older
     
  16. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey

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    @Speedl0rd Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
  17. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    @Follower last rereview for a while, i swear.... I altered his points to match with the new linguistics stuff and used the leftovers for roguery (for quiet cat paw rp) and command school (for warlord rp)
     
  18. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey

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    @Speedl0rd Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
  19. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    @Follower Updated to the new format and shuffled a couple points because I'm perpetually unsatisfied with anything I do
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  20. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl Staff Member Lore2

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    Claimed for review! Expect a reply shortly
     
  21. Yurs

    Yurs real life catgirl Staff Member Lore2

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    certified freak every day of the week

    APPROVED
     
  22. Speedl0rd

    Speedl0rd getting closer
    1. The Insani Inquisition

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    thanks shorty
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

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