Preserved Sheet Nal Roh

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GoodDreamer

The Regalian Nuke
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Basic Information


  • Full Name: Nal Roh
  • Nicknames: Tiny
  • Age: 48
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Dakkar
  • Main Ambition: To find his own way into Gana-Eeshtar.
  • Special Permission: NA



Basic Information (Expansion)

  • Nal Roh left to Regalia after his separation with the Hadar clan of Dakkar, no longer satisfied with the thought of him being subservient to another race without any hope of power. He now spends most of his time in the sewers, wrestling with the responsibility of being a leader in the New Sun.

  • Born in the caves beneath Ellador, he later lived in the Essa Empire.

  • Secondary ambitions: Attain a citizenship

Skill Information

Weapon: Fists

Level: Novice

Source: Arlora clan/Sa-Allar mentor



Visual Information
  • Eye Color: Black on yellow
  • Skin Color: Orange
  • Clothing: Brown pants, blue cloth around his waist.
  • Armor: What he has grown, as well as wide iron bands on his biceps, and studded-iron reverse leather apron (for better words) that protects the backs of his legs.
  • Height: 7 feet
  • Body size: Strongman
  • Body Build: Endomorphic
  • Weapon of Choice: His fists serve him well for all situations.

Nal Roh Art
Art by the wonderful @Ghirko

Visual Information (Expansion)

  • Nal Roh stands at a towering 7 feet, with muscle generously strewn across his body. He clocks in at about 600lb overall.
  • His hide varies from orange to red, covered in rock-like protrusions and more than a few scratches and nicks. On his back, the bone plate has been carved into, giving him the Dakkar version of a Tattoo. The Carving is one of the sun, with rays stretching up to his shoulders, and down to his waist. The plate on his chest is cracked on the left side, running down at a diagonal angle towards his left elbow for about five inches. Despite his crack, his plate suffers no weak points or exploitable openings, if someone wanted to stab him through his plate, he'd need to be immobile and on his back, in which case one could just stab his neck and be done with it.
  • Like the rest of his race, he has thick, large bones that do well to support his intensely muscular frame.
  • As is typical of his race, Nal Roh is a top-heavy creature, most of his muscle graces his upper-half, with his back and legs nearly weak when compared to the rest of his body. One thing to note is that while he does not leave his body-build, Nal Roh's size is monstrous, even for a Dakkar.
  • His fat accumulates more in the middle of his frame, although he has some everywhere, such as his arms and legs.
  • Much of his skin is laced in scars. Thin lines dotting across his lower neck and upper arms.
  • Nal Roh clothes himself simply. Wearing no true clothing bar some worn, brown pants with a blue sash that acts as a belt. Occasionally, on his chest, he wears a harness-Esq piece of equipment that has a two lock-hooks set apart from each other. He uses this to carry his Maul horizontally across his lower back, just so he can use his hands for other important tasks such as eating, lifting, or knuckle-walking.
  • His maul is more of a monster than he could ever hope to find, or need to. Given to him by House Heart, it is built to take hits, and deal bigger ones. The shaft itself is five feet long and utilizes an iron rod to prevent it from snapping under its own weight. The head is enormous, clearly not made with the intention to drop anything smaller than a Troll, it's 90lb iron head holds the power to break through steel plate, the bones it protects, and the horse that it all balances upon.

Personality and Abilities


First Paragraph: First impressions with Nal Roh often showcase his rather violent tendencies overlaid in subtle tones of mild idiocracy. When not in a brawl, Nal Roh is highly social, and while nearly impossible to visually read by any member of the Humanium bar in times of anger, it is clear that he is rather honest and does his best to emote his feelings to those around him. A surprisingly simple task despite a heavy and consistent syntax impediment. Most, if not all of those who meet him will take note of his utter fearlessness and devotion to loved ones.


Second Paragraph: Nal Roh was not always as driven as he is today. His time amongst the Al-Allar was enlightening, but his arrival to Regalia brought him back to his roots. He treats his loved ones the same way he would treat himself and believes in himself fully and completely. Because if he is unwilling to have confidence in himself, then who can be expected to trust in him as well? The secret to his fearlessness is that it stems from a crippling fear of shame, especially from those within his circle of trust. When faced with terrible odds, Nal Roh will not once think to turn tail and run because the thought of him returning home and needing to say that he failed to even try is more painful than whatever lies ahead of him.
One of the reasons that Nal Roh is so predisposed towards violence is not fully due to his short temper, or even a love for violence. Nal Roh is drawn towards violence because of the rush. As a hardcore adrenaline junkie, Nal Roh is quick to fling himself head-first into any and every violent interaction that he can, be it the easily-found fight in the sewers, or the pre-planned excursion outside of Regalia.


Third Paragraph: When it comes to family or friends, Nal Roh hits an odd spot between tough love and overprotectiveness. His passive stance is one that preaches violence and mild suffering to build character and prove worth, and as such he is more than willing to pummel a loved-one in order for them to 'toughen up' or prove him wrong. In his mind, he is protecting them from future interactions that he cannot be present in. Otherwise, Nal Roh is largely a rather malleable creature to those that he loves, allowing them to get away with things that would appall others. He strives to make himself as helpful as he can while refraining from meddling in the affairs of his loved-ones, which is likely for the best. When his family or friends are threatened, Nal Roh will stop at absolutely nothing to protect them, even at the risk of life, limb, or mental health on his own part. He could never live with himself if he did otherwise.


Fourth Paragraph: While he certainly isn't good, few could call him evil. He constantly tosses himself into fights with the will to harm, but generally, intends on protecting an ally by doing so. He isn't a thief, pirate, or murderer, just a brawler, instead working hard on his mundane jobs with an almost obsessive intensity. While he preaches violence, he preaches it as a solution to resolve or avoid greater or less desirable violence. As such, Nal Roh falls firmly in the center of the moral spectrum, desperately waiting for someone to tip him to one side so that he can toss himself into battle. For the most part, Nal Roh views violence as condonable, and thusly measures the morality of the situation by the fairness of each interaction. An Ailor (or anyone else for that matter) cruelly toying with someone less intelligent or physically capability can easily find themselves as the next victim of his violent nature, where two fighters in willing combat will rarely see him intervene. Truthfully, his system isn't there because he is a good person, but because it allows him to revel in as much wanton violence as he pleases without fearing any repercussions from bystanders.


Fifth Paragraph: When it comes to Nal Roh's worldview, he leans towards a liberal mindset. Judging on race, gender, appearance, and many other similar concepts seem inefficient to him. If someone can do something, then them doing so can only benefit others. His willingness to accept and adapt is stronger in him than it is in some of his kind, but it's hardly anything miraculous. His religious beliefs are substantially more surprising, as he accepts most deities beyond Hael. A direct result of his time amongst the Al-Allar, the monotheistic faith in Hael has evolved into a polytheistic faith in which Hael is one among many. As such, Nal Roh see's Hael as the god of war, combat, and Gana-Eeshtar. The Emperor can be seen as a god of righteousness and bipedal pink Races, and that Estel and Beheasal are gods in their own right. Although he does believe that all of the gods hold power, he has unsurprisingly devoted himself to Hael.



Personality Traits


Positive

  • Fearless: With the philosophy that only cowards run, and the size to back his philosophy with muscle, Nal Roh fears absolutely nothing. In a world of great beasts and logic-breaking magics, he makes himself known through being absolutely willing to fight anything, anytime, regardless of risk, consequence, or already sustained injury. He would rather knowingly fight a superior foe and lose his life than to return to his home and say that he ran without ever trying.

  • Loyal: A believer that loyalty is a principle worth upholding, Nal Roh enjoys making himself useful to the ones he cares for. He is willing to do anything at any time for anyone close to him, from carrying loads, to taking hits for others in the midst of battle. On the rare occasion that he does break someone's trust in him, be it intentional or accidental, he sets his sights down on some form of appeasement.

  • Confident: Once upon a time, Nal Roh was self-doubting, maybe even timid. No longer is this the case. His choices are made with full confidence his both his abilities and the abilities (or lack thereof) of those around him. As a less-than-brilliant fighter, this trait has brought him far, and it still has proved itself to be invaluable in everything that he does.


Neutral


  • Tolerant: Having an Allar influence on his life at an early age, Nal Roh is rather accepting of most ideas, races, and even religions when compared to others of his race. His general liberal mindedness allows him to accept the usage of weapons amongst Dakkar and extends slightly into magic usage. As free-minded as he thinks he is, he still fails to react kindly to Dwarves in most scenarios, as well as often finding himself easily manipulated in many situations.


Negative


  • Adrenaline junkie: For Nal Roh, a fight is hardly just a test of strength or a show of devotion. The thrill of combat and the adrenaline that accompanies with it is the absolute driving factor in combat. His addiction extends beyond combat, and a slightly stunning amount of coin is spent thrill-seeking both inside and away from Regalia. From Ogre hunting to spelunking in Dwarven Holds, the scent of danger fails to escape from this nose-blind Dakkar.

  • Short tempered: A common trait amongst the people of his race, his temper is about as short as it gets. Unironically hot-headed, Nal Roh quickly becomes pointless in any sort of verbal argument and usually resorts to violence in times of stress. He is the first to throw a punch, and the last one to regret it.

  • Scatterbrained: Hardly a great mind, Nal Roh finds himself constantly draining his already limited pool of attention on insignificant tasks and such, or actions totally unrelated to his current task. His processing abilities are less than desirable, and his passion for intense thought is sub-par at best. Just another reason that he defaults to violence in times of stress.




Strengths


  • Monstrous: Be it seen as a blessing from Hael, or a simple stroke of good luck, Nal Roh's immense strength cannot be denied. From a young age, even Nal Roh could see that he would never become truly skillful in anything, and so he traded any concept of skill for brute strength. His tradeoff treated him kindly, as even by Dakkar standards, Nal Roh is a monster among great beasts. His immense strength exceeds the heightened Dakkar standard in great leaps and bounds while his endurance is less exceptional. As such, Nal Roh is a fantastic brawler, but quickly wears out during drawn out battles.

  • Experienced: In terms of skill, Nal Roh is lacking, but even he has a style that he devotes himself to. His history of violence, as well as his utter fearlessness, has taught him that the wisest strategy is to largely forgo defense, allowing his own body to keep himself safe. When standing, his has an increased tendency to block with his forearms but is most notable for his sweeping backhands, a move which usually forces his opponent to retreat under the threat of taking heavy damage. He remains largely immobile when fighting on two feet, usually letting the enemy come to him in an attempt to conserve energy for later attacks. In tougher scenarios, he is apt to try and grab hold of an enemy, and use them as a club of sorts, or as a throwable object to varying degrees of success. When on his knuckles, he leans towards grappling, charges, and tackles, the question of defense long having fled from his mind as his plates are in the perfect position to defend him in that form, his unarmored legs protected by his iron upper-half. Because of this experience, Nal Roh is not known to devolve into fits of raging fury in the middle of combat and will take considerable damage before that instinct ever kicks in. Of course, it occasionally does break free, to which Nal Roh loses all semblance of his style, and fights as nothing more than a feral animal that feels no pain, as if he had been spit out of the void, which is never ideal, seeing as he can no longer tell friend from foe and quickly drains himself.

  • Determined: When tasking himself to do something, Nal Roh will go to the ends of the earth to do it, regardless of personal cost. His obsessive drive applies to everything from achieving his goals regardless of how things are set against him, following orders from those he has placed himself under, and even combat, where poor odds or great injury only calls for more drastic and violent measures. Of course, Nal Roh prides himself in his determination and considers it to simply be ethic. In reality, it is two parts commitment, one part ego, and one part fear that prods him into motion. Regardless of his reasons, his determination truly shows in anything and everything he commits himself to.



Weaknesses


  • Nearsighted: Another reason that he chose to avoid any vocations that required skill over strength is his dismal vision. As a hatchling, he had hardly noticed that he could hardly see some of the objects or people that those around him could describe in clear detail, but as he grew, his vision grew worse. At this point in his life, he cannot see clearly half an inch beyond his own snout, forcing him to bring objects that he truly wishes to see directly before his eye. At three feet, details like eye-whites are invisible to him. At five, the face is nothing but a blot of color standing upon a bipedal something. At ten feet, colors truly start to blur, making thirteen feet the limit at where even guessing most races via shape is out of the question. He has learned to recognize people and places through color instead of shape, which is only about half as useful as it sounds.

  • Thalassophobia: Due to some unpleasant experiences earlier on in his life, he has developed a rather strong fear of large bodies of water. A lack of land and an inability to even begin to see what lurks beneath the sea gives him crippling anxiety when on ships of any kind, even airships, although to a slightly dampened extent. Knowing himself to be useless on a vessel, he usually locks himself away into the lowest part of the ship, loath to emerge for any reason, and hopelessly seasick even if he does.

  • Right Eye: The outcome of a particularly unfortunate fight in the eastern sewers, Nal Roh no longer able to see out of his right eye in any way, shape, or form. When combined with his already poor vision and natural blind spots, this makes for a crippling visual combination that leaves anyone who is even vaguely on the right side of his body completely invisible to him.

  • Aggressive: At the drop of a hat, Nal Roh is more than ready to throw down, even if the situation dictates that such a decision is less than wise. Multiple enemies are seen as a challenge, not a threat. Skilled opponents are seen as competition to be fought. In most cases, Nal is wrong about both. His lack of calm judgment makes him ill-suited for tense interaction or anything of the sort, and it usually ends up getting him injured right alongside those he cares for.

  • Cocky: There is a fine line between brave and dumb when in a fight. Nal Roh crossed this line long, long ago. His natural armor and crushing strength have him convinced that he can't lose against anyone, from the sharpest marksman to the agilest Turall. Frankly, he is wrong. His over-confidence in his abilities constantly comes back to bite him when the timing couldn't be worse, and it is always his fault. In a fight, he is known to allow the enemy to pick their own position without resistance, hand out free hits, and disregard the existence of any fighter who is weaponless or bearing a dagger. Ironically, it is the daggered fighters that deal the most crippling blows and has nearly lost his life twice to lackluster knife-wielders that he underestimated. He continues to do so at his own peril.

  • Katagelophobia: On Aloria, the only thing that can claim to truly inspire fear in Nal Roh is the fear of shame and ridicule. Every action he takes, every fight he picks, and every victory he celebrates or loss that impacts him is driven by the fear that if he fails to commit, that he will return to loved ones who no longer respect him. While this does drive him to whole new levels of commitment, it is absolutely detrimental. His dedication to success has and will cause him injury consistently, regardless of the task. This is why he is more willing to risk his life in a fight when retreat is an option that he can easily take. Failure is acceptable, but in that case, he needs to have tried twice as hard, taken twice as many hits, and done twice the damage as the runner-up, which is not a reasonable goal. In cases where Nal Roh is forced to return from an interaction in which he was soundly beaten, he falls into a pride-crushing depression in which his only goal is to prove himself to himself by taking on the least reasonable, most negatively biased challenge he can get his hands on and use that challenge to prove his worth again.





Personality and Abilities


  • Although he does own a Maul, he rarely finds himself using it. In most cases, Nal Roh fights bare-handed, using his own rocky armor as a weapon against his less-defended opponents. He does infrequently carry a mace at his side, although it hasn't seen use in months.
  • Nal Roh is no healer, but he does understand the basics of simple and beneficial alchemical brews. Ruby Paste is usually beyond him, but a brew with Ruby Flower mixed in can occasionally be found on his person.
Likes

  • As a thrill seeker, Nal Roh loves anything that screams of danger. His addiction to the rush of adrenaline he feels when in hazardous places fills near every decision he makes.
  • Nal Roh has a fascination with fire. Spending much his downtime poking a flame with a stick, or fooling around with embers.
Dislikes


  • Magic is not a great love of his. While is Allar-influenced beliefs keep him from hating the concept of Magic, he does find it irksome at best.

  • Dwarves are a bit of a trigger for him. Rare is the encounter that fails to end in violence when Dwarves are involved.



Relationships

Rokh'Pokka: Their relationship started off as something typical to Nal Roh, with the small cat-man being nothing more than someone to fight when larger foes were nowhere to be found. But as time went on, their relationship grew a hundredfold. Today, Po' is his dearest friend and partner in crime, their combined strengths making them energetic speakers, and an obscenely strong tag-team in combat. Pokka's fights are Nal's fights, and he is more than willing to risk anything for the little guy.
Eventually, Nal Roh intends to teach Rokh'Pokka how to understand Tekree.

Tyrok Ulfurtoon: These two northerners met each other when they were part of the Violet Resistance, an extremist rebellion group that aimed to take Freya Lo down and eradicate the Deathling menace. They trained together for a short while, sometimes in groups following Nal's orders, other times in groups following Tyrok's orders. Most of these training sessions ended in injury or outside attack. Nal loved every bit of that.
Nal Roh still hopes to see some of that Northern Furry.



Life story

  • Hatched in Gana-Eeshtar, 257 AC.
  • Largely raised in a sack carried in a sack around his mother's neck until 261 AC.
  • Joined the Dakkar horde to fight against the dwarves in 265 AC. Two years before most Dakkar grow to full size.
  • Was ambushed by a dwarven unit in 268, and was routed to the surface along with his group. His size failed him in the new and open landscape against the dwarves. He and other survivors escape and are later captured by Ailor. They are sold.
  • After many transactions, the 16-year-old Nal Roh is sold to Ssizo Dosso in 269 AC, an Al-Allar alchemist who lives with the one-armed Sa-Allar Joss Dosso.
  • He learns to understand a good portion of Zasta from Ssizo, and the basics of combat from Joss until 286 AC, the start of the Chrysant war.
  • Nal Roh escapes from Hadar in 288 AC, taking a ship to Arlora where he joins a clan of Sulptron Dakkar.
  • Displeased with the Sulptron, Nal Roh leaves to the Regalian Empire in 294 AC, where he lives nomadically, doing simple jobs for little-to-no pay.
  • Eventually wandering to Regalia, Nal Roh takes to the sewers to rekindle his sense of adventure. He stops visiting the surface in 298 AC, wandering deep into the sewers, far from most people.
  • The flood of 204 AC drives Nal Roh to the surface, desperate to get away from the cold and wet remains, as well as a need for food. He joins the New Sun.
  • Present Day: 205 AC has been good to Nal Roh. He has gathered enough coin to start taking the Sun on trips to other lands. Although he has told no one, he intends to make the initiation ritual for joining the Clan something similar to fighting Trolls or Ogres and surviving.


Nal Roh was hatched in Gana-Eeshtar in 257 AC, spending the vast majority of his early years strapped to his mother's neck in a sack. By 261 AC he had grown large enough to be allowed out into his rocky home without being suspended above the ground, no longer at risk of injury when falling. The early years of his life were spent as a skittish orange toddler who was little different from the others his age.
By the time it became 265 AC, Nal Roh was full sized and fighting against the dwarves in the ongoing Dakkar-Dwarf war. He followed more experienced Dakkar around and participated in the fights they had against their pink-skinned foes, doing little more than wildly crashing forward into hard objects or getting himself hit with the metal weapons deployed against him. Needless to say, despite his size he was nothing more than a hinderance.
In 268 AC, Nal Roh had participated in a good number of battles against the short-folk, scars gracing his upper arms and the backs of his legs in great numbers. Unfortunately, scars don't protect from ambushes. Late into the year, his group his ambushed and takes many losses, running up in the direction the dwarves came from. After days of playing cat and mouse, they are pushed onto the surface where they could be picked off with greater ease. Nal Roh fought, but it hardly made an impact, the stunning sight of the new world combined with the disadvantage of fighting in an open space where the enemy can easily outmanoeuvre you killed most of the group he was in. The few that did survive only did so because they fled, getting lost in the great and unexpected expanse of Ellador's landscape. Eventually, they were found by a group of Ailor, who after taking the wounded and weakened party down, decided that the strange creatures could possibly strike a good profit if sold.
By late 269 AC, the Dakkar had been bought and sold so many times that their group had long since parted ways. The most recent buyer for the 16-year-old Nal Roh was an Al-Allar named Ssizo Dosso in the Essa empire, and Nal Roh took the last of many boat rides that would occur in his early life to get there. He gained little out of these trips, bar Thalassophobia. His stay with Ssizo was surprisingly pleasant despite all original intentions. He became a lab-rat for Ssizo's alchemical desires, but either due to a lack of funding, a waning interest, or a lack of easily elicit-able biological responses from the Dakkar during testing, he found himself as more of a pet that was occasionally fed things that made his breath smell.
His life amongst Allar was largely pleasant. He grew close to his master, who cared for him like a much-loved dog. His life outside of the house was usually spent amongst the Sa-Allar, specifically the Sa-Allar who lived under Ssizo's care, Joss Dosso. Joss was an older, one-armed Sa' who had outlived his usefulness from the moment he lost his arm in a construction accident, the extent of his reliability only exercised on simple tasks, such as carrying large books for Ssizo. Nal Roh and Joss got along well, and Joss even taught Nal Roh a few basic fighting techniques, such as the way to hold a mace, take advantage of the length of a Maul, or throw a good punch. From Ssizo, Nal Roh learned much of Zasta, although not once was he ever able to speak it. Additionally, he took on much of the Allar belief system, changing his outlook on much of what he was brought up to know.
Much of this changed in 286 AC. The sudden start of the Chrysant war placed Nal Roh into combat, although not very much of it. His low mobility meant that by the time he arrived at a location of combat, the fight was likely long over. At some point of the war, Ssizo and Joss went missing, and with the others too busy to focus on Nal, he took the opportunity to escape to one of the many empty islands that dot Hardar's landscape. By sheer luck, Nal Roh managed to get onto a ship in exchange for services once aboard during 288. Needless to say, his services were largely completed below deck with less-than-desirable efficiency, but his work was free. He arrived in Arlora without much trouble and managed to find himself drawn into a clan of Sulptron Dakkar.
Life among the Sulptron as enjoyable at first, but he soon grew to resent his time there. He saw himself amongst people with identical mentalities, but starkly opposing moralities. During the winter of 294, he left the Dakkar community of Arlora and eventually found himself in the Regalian Empire. He lived a largely nomadic life, lumbering from town to town, content to do simple jobs for little money. In 298 he found himself in the Crown City, where he immediately found himself drawn to the forbidden sewers. The thrills of combat and exploration drew him away from the surface for years as he treaded the deep tunnels, exploring yet never truly seeing what he had found.
In 304 AC, he nearly lost his life during the sewer flooding, surviving off of the scant Gassa-moss that was found deep within the sewers. The moment the water cleared out was the moment he returned to the upper levels of the sewers, shell-shocked and tired. Returning to society, Nal Roh quickly made friends and enemies among the people of Regalia and it's sewer system. People such as Lucas Amalao and the Crown City Weaver hit him with painful reality while he formed bonds with others such as Jude Serizzet, Streetpig, and Kivi, while joining the New Sun Dakkar.

Present Day

After the Lo Crisis, Nal Roh spends much more time in the sewers than he did the previous year. An eye was lost in a sewer fight while a brother was gained in the form of a Rashaq alpha. Having been cooped up for so long has driven Nal Roh to the edge of madness, and so he is currently making plans to leave Regalia on excursions to other lands.
 
Last edited:
Peer Review
no salt intended
Hello again I will be doing a peer review for you today, I hope this helps you.
Also... Yo my man, whats up, this is a Dank APP right here!
  • Formatting: The Expanded information for Personality and Abilities should be in a spoiler, for better readability, the strengths and weaknesses should follow the same formatting, one currently has bullets while the other does not.
  • You need to clearly state that he is much MUCH better with his weapons then his magic, and stacking magics like that, while a clever lop whole and totally possible ICly, should be stated as such. You should add to the Life story about when he started learning Fire magic and Letter magic. it can be resent. And do note that learning magic takes no much time that it also takes from your fighting skills while your studying for it. Imagion for example Studying magic to be like cramming for the hardest test you've ever taken the night before you have to take it. And then doing that everyday.
Like I said, its possible, but you need to talk about the specifics more. All in all, Great application, look forward to seeing another Dakkar running amuck, Spirit have mercy on all those sewer folk.
 
Formatting: The Expanded information for Personality and Abilities should be in a spoiler, for better readability, the strengths and weaknesses should follow the same formatting, one currently has bullets while the other does not.
Took away the existing bullet points, as I am unable to figure out how to add them.
You need to clearly state that he is much MUCH better with his weapons then his magic,
Added into abilities, right above where it goes into detail about his maul.
 
I will be reviewing this sheet!

While the idea of a dakkar wielding a maul bigger than 90% of the population, while also using fire and glyph magic sounds badass, it's a bit overpowered in terms of character design, weaknesses aside. So, he can wield a large two hander weapon, be a fire mage, or use glyph magic. Pick just -two- of those things, and move on with design. All three make for just a bit too much of special snowflake design.

I'm also going to suggest cutting down personality traits from your amount to the minimum 6. Hammer home who he is at his core, not spread out so much over various traits.

Be specific on physically prime and fighter strengths. What does he do with them? What are his limits? What are his capabilities?

To be clear, his smell won't give him sight-like reflexes. Make that blind bit much more damaging.

For strengths and weaknesses, use one word to descibe the trait, then go on to explain in in 3-4 sentences as you've done. Like, title the sick one "Sickly" etc.

Dakkar are sensitive to sunlight. Maybe make him fine in the caves and sewers, but his eyesight above is especially bad.

Tag me when you're done
 
While the idea of a dakkar wielding a maul bigger than 90% of the population, while also using fire and glyph magic sounds badass, it's a bit overpowered in terms of character design, weaknesses aside. So, he can wield a large two hander weapon, be a fire mage, or use glyph magic. Pick just -two- of those things, and move on with design. All three make for just a bit too much of special snowflake design.
From the research that I have been doing, weapons like mauls and spears (things with a pole) are usually just a bit smaller ( if not larger) then the wielder.
It was not a randomly chosen size made to make him look cooler, it was a carfully chosen weapon that was picked to complement his size and power, and its length is just what was seeming mandatory to me.

As for the fire and glyph magic, I ask you please reconsider this, his magic is a combination that is /not/ combat oriented, but more religiously oriented, and is extremely partial to his drive. I don't even consider it a weapon, as it's only use in combat would be for momentary intimidation ( and that all stops when he gets hit ). It highly effects his views on both magic and Agni, and the retraction of this ability would call for a major rewrite of my character.
Be specific on physically prime and fighter strengths. What does he do with them? What are his limits? What are his capabilities?
I am facepalming myself for not already doing this, expect something soon.
To be clear, his smell won't give him sight-like reflexes. Make that blind bit much more damaging.
understood, I will emphasize that.
Dakkar are sensitive to sunlight. Maybe make him fine in the caves and sewers, but his eyesight above is especially bad.
wait, so he can see well in the sewers?
I'm also going to suggest cutting down personality traits from your amount to the minimum 6. Hammer home who he is at his core, not spread out so much over various traits.
will do.
To be clear, his smell won't give him sight-like reflexes. Make that blind bit much more damaging.
I know that the smell is not a compensation, but I will expand on his blindness trait.
For strengths and weaknesses, use one word to descibe the trait, then go on to explain in in 3-4 sentences as you've done. Like, title the sick one "Sickly" etc.
Thats.....a way better format then the one I use.
Thanks.

I will be completing the following edits soon.
 
@LumosJared
Be specific on physically prime and fighter strengths. What does he do with them? What are his limits? What are his capabilities?
done
I'm also going to suggest cutting down personality traits from your amount to the minimum 6. Hammer home who he is at his core, not spread out so much over various traits.
I feel like I have enough understanding of Nal Roh to allow this to remain, although if you want me to expand on these, I can do so.
For strengths and weaknesses, use one word to descibe the trait, then go on to explain in in 3-4 sentences as you've done. Like, title the sick one "Sickly" etc.
done
To be clear, his smell won't give him sight-like reflexes. Make that blind bit much more damaging.
done
Dakkar are sensitive to sunlight. Maybe make him fine in the caves and sewers, but his eyesight above is especially bad.
I was unaware that he had decent eyesight in the sewers, I will now play him as such.

Sorry it took me so long to do this.
 
wait, so he can see well in the sewers? - yes

I feel like I have enough understanding of Nal Roh to allow this to remain, although if you want me to expand on these, I can do so. - Then yes, expand.

Ha, no, making the maul a few feet shoulder does not warrent a re-write. Just don't make it so comically oversized.
 
As for the fire and glyph magic, I ask you please reconsider this, his magic is a combination that is /not/ combat oriented, but more religiously oriented, and is extremely partial to his drive. I don't even consider it a weapon, as it's only use in combat would be for momentary intimidation ( and that all stops when he gets hit ). It highly effects his views on both magic and Agni, and the retraction of this ability would call for a major rewrite of my character.
 
Just don't make it so comically oversized.
A 6'10 mual for a 7'5 man is not comically oversized, I did some research on this beforehand and for a two-handed pole weapon,
the general size is about shoulder hight. If this was a one handed weapon then even half this size would be too much (maybe, I didn't research that), but for a two handed weapon, it is what would be given too him. A 9 foot man would have something along the lines of an (at least) 8 foot pole arm. This is what my research has given me. If it told me he would have a 5 foot pole arm, thats what would be written on this application.

Now that the hight re-write has come out (to the annoyance of many players who play larger races), I will need to be cutting down my dakar's size, and subsequently the size of his maul. I am thinking of making it 5'10.
 
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Hello @kidmeyer44! On LumosJared's request I'm going to be finishing this review for him.

I'll start of by saying that I admire how much research went into your character and I'm happy to see that you put a lot of effort into this. I'm just going to point out a few things below that I'd like you to consider:

As for the fire and glyph magic, I ask you please reconsider this, his magic is a combination that is /not/ combat oriented, but more religiously oriented, and is extremely partial to his drive. I don't even consider it a weapon, as it's only use in combat would be for momentary intimidation ( and that all stops when he gets hit ). It highly effects his views on both magic and Agni, and the retraction of this ability would call for a major rewrite of my character.

Whilst being trained in combat and having fire and glyph magic might be core elements to his character from the way you've written him, I do not think that reasoning alone should be an excuse to have an overpowered character design. If he only uses the magic for that momentary intimidation I wouldn't say that's a necessity for your character to have and I'd even question the practically of him using that ability if it's as ineffective as you described it to be. I think you'd be able to salvage his views on both magic and Agni however if you simply picked one of the two. It's less about what it's used for and more about keeping a balanced character for roleplay's sake. It won't be completely detrimental in the grand scheme of things and it shouldn't be as strenuous of a fix as you make it out to be.

A 6'10 mual for a 7'5 man is not comically oversized, I did some research on this beforehand and for a two-handed pole weapon,
the general size is about shoulder hight. If this was a one handed weapon then even half this size would be too much (maybe, I didn't research that), but for a two handed weapon, it is what would be given too him. A 9 foot man would have something along the lines of an (at least) 8 foot pole arm. This is what my research has given me. If it told me he would have a 5 foot pole arm, thats what would be written on this application.

Now that the hight re-write has come out (to the annoyance of many players who play larger races), I will need to be cutting down my dakar's size, and subsequently the size of his maul. I am thinking of making it 5'10.

I think my above statement also applies to this as well. Whilst it may be feasible for a creature of Juzzie's stature to have a giant maul I'm questioning the practicality that it would have within roleplay. A weapon like that is not going to be allowed to be used in Regalia. That aside you can still mention that he has the training for a maul in his application but that strength will only ever be relevant for world progressions posts, player quests or sewer roleplay if you choose, which is perfectly alright as well, I'm just ensuring that you also understand that point. Whilst I am not denying that it's realistic for Juzzie to have a such a weapon, realism sometimes has to be limited in order to adhere to roleplay etiquette and in order to create a balanced community. Mauls were incredibly heavy so people often did keep them smaller so they could at least pick them up and use them. The biggest size I'm going to suggest you have it at is 5ft. Anything bigger is unnecessarily overpowered, a 5ft maul should be enough to do what you need to do with said maul.

In summary, choose one of the magics and make his maul smaller. Please tag me when you've made the required edits and highlight all changes in green.
 
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5ft maul should be enough to do what you need to do with said maul.
On your request, I will lower the mual to 5ft.

What does bother me is how everyone keeps mentioning how the character design seems a bit overpowered. And this is concerning to me because this is really not my intention when I make these. And I really want to understand where I am going wrong in writing this. Because I really don't play him in an overpowered way.

The first thing I want to address is the Mual. (I am still shortening it to 5, this is just more for the sake of me understanding). I do know that weapons are not allowed in regalia, that's why he keeps his weapons in the sewers.
His above ground RP has proven it does not need a weapon as I have made him to be more than a fighting character.
But my only question is, why the insistence that I shorten the Mual? I guess that from an OOC standpoint it seems overpowered, but IC, it is a large, slow weapon that he uses on large, slow opponents.
It does not even give him an insane amount of range, A spear or even a long-sword gives him more range, with the only exception being when he grasps it by the very bottom, for a very slow, very exposing attack. It would be overpowered to give him 5'10 feet of range. But that's not how they are used anyways.
Keep in mind, this is just me explaining my thoughts, and that my only intention is that you point out where I am flawed in my thoughts.


I do not think that reasoning alone should be an excuse to have an overpowered character design. If he only uses the magic for that momentary intimidation
Once again, the term overpowered comes into play, and I utterly fail to understand it. I added rune magic to inhibit his magical ability, preventing the fireball throwing Dakkar design from coming into play, and instead allowing a more religious thread of play to come into action. (Especially with the new sun clan)
I have not used his magic (not do I actually intend to) in any of the fights that I have had him participate in, and I instead use it to have people look at him, and not immediately place him under the catagory of the dumb lizard, because that is not what he is, but due to the language barrier, that is all that he is able to reflect. (I am not saying he is as smart as you or I, but he is not ignorant) Please, I want you to tell me your reasoning.
 
On your request, I will lower the mual to 5ft.

What does bother me is how everyone keeps mentioning how the character design seems a bit overpowered. And this is concerning to me because this is really not my intention when I make these. And I really want to understand where I am going wrong in writing this. Because I really don't play him in an overpowered way.

The first thing I want to address is the Mual. (I am still shortening it to 5, this is just more for the sake of me understanding). I do know that weapons are not allowed in regalia, that's why he keeps his weapons in the sewers.
His above ground RP has proven it does not need a weapon as I have made him to be more than a fighting character.
But my only question is, why the insistence that I shorten the Mual? I guess that from an OOC standpoint it seems overpowered, but IC, it is a large, slow weapon that he uses on large, slow opponents.
It does not even give him an insane amount of range, A spear or even a long-sword gives him more range, with the only exception being when he grasps it by the very bottom, for a very slow, very exposing attack. It would be overpowered to give him 5'10 feet of range. But that's not how they are used anyways.
Keep in mind, this is just me explaining my thoughts, and that my only intention is that you point out where I am flawed in my thoughts.

I understand your reasoning and I even appreciate your efforts in striving to learn more about why I've pointed this edit out. Your thoughts aren't flawed, realistically you did your research. What I was concerned about when I brought this edit up was the scenarios that could unfold from roleplay. He uses it on large, slow enimies but at the most, the largest an enemy is going to get is around Dakkar size anyway and even then Dakkar are a rarity. If you use a gigantic 5'10" maul on any of the other human sized races down in the sewer they're going to get knocked down and seriously injured after a few hits from a weapon of that weight, size and power. I think 5t is a more reasonable size that you can use on both large Dakkar or any amount of large creature as well as humans without completely crushing them in the first few hits. It's not fun for most roleplayers to be at the end of a weapon which they can't to much to defend their characters against, this is where OOC etiquette comes into play. Try not to make your comabt roleplay the powerful, but make it the most enjoyable for both sides of the situation.

Once again, the term overpowered comes into play, and I utterly fail to understand it. I added rune magic to inhibit his magical ability, preventing the fireball throwing Dakkar design from coming into play, and instead allowing a more religious thread of play to come into action. (Especially with the new sun clan)
I have not used his magic (not do I actually intend to) in any of the fights that I have had him participate in, and I instead use it to have people look at him, and not immediately place him under the catagory of the dumb lizard, because that is not what he is, but due to the language barrier, that is all that he is able to reflect. (I am not saying he is as smart as you or I, but he is not ignorant) Please, I want you to tell me your reasoning.

At a first glance being strong and good at combat as well as having both glyph and fire magic seems like a lot of beneficial aspects to add to a character that spells a recipie for overpowered. Although taking into account they're both at student level and that would only take a year to learn I'm happy for you to keep both after further consideration as long it doesn't play a huge role in his combat roleplay.

I'm going to approve this for you know, hopefully I've clarified my reasoning enough. If not, do not hesitate to ask me again.
 
New
I understand your reasoning and I even appreciate your efforts in striving to learn more about why I've pointed this edit out. Your thoughts aren't flawed, realistically you did your research. What I was concerned about when I brought this edit up was the scenarios that could unfold from roleplay. He uses it on large, slow enimies but at the most, the largest an enemy is going to get is around Dakkar size anyway and even then Dakkar are a rarity. If you use a gigantic 5'10" maul on any of the other human sized races down in the sewer they're going to get knocked down and seriously injured after a few hits from a weapon of that weight, size and power. I think 5t is a more reasonable size that you can use on both large Dakkar or any amount of large creature as well as humans without completely crushing them in the first few hits. It's not fun for most roleplayers to be at the end of a weapon which they can't to much to defend their characters against, this is where OOC etiquette comes into play. Try not to make your comabt roleplay the powerful, but make it the most enjoyable for both sides of the situation.

At a first glance being strong and good at combat as well as having both glyph and fire magic seems like a lot of beneficial aspects to add to a character that spells a recipie for overpowered. Although taking into account they're both at student level and that would only take a year to learn I'm happy for you to keep both after further consideration as long it doesn't play a huge role in his combat roleplay.

I'm going to approve this for you know, hopefully I've clarified my reasoning enough. If not, do not hesitate to ask me again.
Oh my god! This was unexpected XD

The Mual edits will be made right after I post this.

Thank you so much!
 
@JarlJade
Ok, so I have rewritten the length of the Mual in the entire sheet (I think).

So if anything else says that the hight is bigger than 5, then it is just an overlooked.
 
@kidmeyer44 As requested, you get the Cuzi's "Good enough for me" Seal of metaphorical approval.

Oh but one thing, "Juzza has terrible vision, unable to see clearly for more than 15 feet." Im not sure how loosely you are using the term 'terrible,' however, I have fairly bad vision myself, and struggle to see this text clearly from what I believe to be about 1 - 1.5 feet away from my monitor.

Perhaps saying terrible vision is a tad of an over-exaggeration :p

Other than that, yeah, everything is pretty good.

..Also please never call me Senpai again, thankyou
 
@kidmeyer44 As requested, you get the Cuzi's "Good enough for me" Seal of metaphorical approval.

Oh but one thing, "Juzza has terrible vision, unable to see clearly for more than 15 feet." Im not sure how loosely you are using the term 'terrible,' however, I have fairly bad vision myself, and struggle to see this text clearly from what I believe to be about 1 - 1.5 feet away from my monitor.

Perhaps saying terrible vision is a tad of an over-exaggeration :p

Other than that, yeah, everything is pretty good.

..Also please never call me Senpai again, thankyou
I think he meant the dakkar bad vision. He can't say if something is a maiar or an ur for more than 15 feet, i think, senpai. :p
 
Oh but one thing, "Juzza has terrible vision, unable to see clearly for more than 15 feet." Im not sure how loosely you are using the term 'terrible,' however, I have fairly bad vision myself, and struggle to see this text clearly from what I believe to be about 1 - 1.5 feet away from my monitor.
I thought I bumped it down to ten? Double checking that.

And by that. I meant that from 10 feet away, he cannot see things people size and down. Just blurs of color.

I myself cannot read a book from more than four inches away. I understand the struggle.
 
@JarlJade

I just did some small changes to Nal Roh. Starting with his goals. I do not know if anything more will be done.

But I have a question for you. I was doing some thinking on how I would like to advance Nal Roh as a character. And the thing that came to mind was not combat oriented, but in terms of religion.

I feel like I have severely underplayed the religious aspect that I truly wanted him to work towards, resulting in him becoming the simple minded Brute that eats everything that I was so concerned about, and spent so much time trying to avoid.
This major devolution in mentality and drive has forced me to come to the conclusion that his only hope lies in the New sun. But without a driving reason for this turnaround, he will not progress.

What I am asking is, would you feel comfortable with me having a second special permission? Namely a Valor possession. As I feel like I could take great strides as Nal Roh if I was able to implement this.

If you feel that I am not ready to take on a secondary special permission. Please to tell me so, and explain how to better prepare myself to properly play a possessed character.

Thank you for your time.
 
@JarlJade

I just did some small changes to Nal Roh. Starting with his goals. I do not know if anything more will be done.

But I have a question for you. I was doing some thinking on how I would like to advance Nal Roh as a character. And the thing that came to mind was not combat oriented, but in terms of religion.

I feel like I have severely underplayed the religious aspect that I truly wanted him to work towards, resulting in him becoming the simple minded Brute that eats everything that I was so concerned about, and spent so much time trying to avoid.
This major devolution in mentality and drive has forced me to come to the conclusion that his only hope lies in the New sun. But without a driving reason for this turnaround, he will not progress.

What I am asking is, would you feel comfortable with me having a second special permission? Namely a Valor possession. As I feel like I could take great strides as Nal Roh if I was able to implement this.

If you feel that I am not ready to take on a secondary special permission. Please to tell me so, and explain how to better prepare myself to properly play a possessed character.

Thank you for your time.
What other permission do you have? I can't seem to find it in the registry.
 
@JarlJade

I just did some small changes to Nal Roh. Starting with his goals. I do not know if anything more will be done.

But I have a question for you. I was doing some thinking on how I would like to advance Nal Roh as a character. And the thing that came to mind was not combat oriented, but in terms of religion.

I feel like I have severely underplayed the religious aspect that I truly wanted him to work towards, resulting in him becoming the simple minded Brute that eats everything that I was so concerned about, and spent so much time trying to avoid.
This major devolution in mentality and drive has forced me to come to the conclusion that his only hope lies in the New sun. But without a driving reason for this turnaround, he will not progress.

What I am asking is, would you feel comfortable with me having a second special permission? Namely a Valor possession. As I feel like I could take great strides as Nal Roh if I was able to implement this.

If you feel that I am not ready to take on a secondary special permission. Please to tell me so, and explain how to better prepare myself to properly play a possessed character.

Thank you for your time.

What strides would you be able to make with a valor possession specifically that are not combat oriented? A valor possession seems counter productive, if anything it would give your character more of an excuse to fight which is what you're trying to steer away from. I'd suggest sticking with the special permission you already have at the moment instead of adding another one on top of that.
 
What strides would you be able to make with a valor possession specifically that are not combat oriented? A valor possession seems counter productive, if anything it would give your character more of an excuse to fight which is what you're trying to steer away from. I'd suggest sticking with the special permission you already have at the moment instead of adding another one on top of that.
The strides that I intend to have him take with the possession would be a need to prove his loyalty to Hael, but he already knows that he is a skilled combatant, but he has had very little opportunity to prove his religious ferver. (I am planning on writing a large, lore compliant holy book for the Dakkar, and I am awaiting the rewrite of the Dakkar from monmarty. And yes, i know that they don't write, I have a plan, so hush)
It won't really give him more reasons to fight, as he is largely honor bound, and his Valor possession wouldn't really change that.
That being said, he still gets into plenty of fights, if I wanted a possession to initiate more combats roleplay, I would have gone with wrath. Or malice. In fact, I would have just made him a vampire. The point of the valor possession would be to initiate a shift in mentality that would remain even if he was exorsised.

But as you said, I will not be able to take this special permission. I just wanted to explain my reasoning.
 
The strides that I intend to have him take with the possession would be a need to prove his loyalty to Hael, but he already knows that he is a skilled combatant, but he has had very little opportunity to prove his religious ferver. (I am planning on writing a large, lore compliant holy book for the Dakkar, and I am awaiting the rewrite of the Dakkar from monmarty. And yes, i know that they don't write, I have a plan, so hush)
It won't really give him more reasons to fight, as he is largely honor bound, and his Valor possession wouldn't really change that.
That being said, he still gets into plenty of fights, if I wanted a possession to initiate more combats roleplay, I would have gone with wrath. Or malice. In fact, I would have just made him a vampire. The point of the valor possession would be to initiate a shift in mentality that would remain even if he was exorsised.

But as you said, I will not be able to take this special permission. I just wanted to explain my reasoning.

Valour by definition is to be extremely courageous and brave in the face of danger, especially in combat. I feel like the only way that would shift his mentality would be more combat oriented anyway. If you want your character to be less 'me eat rock me fight' the only person who can really enable that is you. You can strengthen his loyalty to Hael without tacking on an extra permission.
 
Valour by definition is to be extremely courageous and brave in the face of danger, especially in combat. I feel like the only way that would shift his mentality would be more combat oriented anyway. If you want your character to be less 'me eat rock me fight' the only person who can really enable that is you. You can strengthen his loyalty to Hael without tacking on an extra permission.
Well...I must have misinterpreted the Valor possession in a big way....My bad, I guess I will just go with plan two.
By the way, have any atrocious crimes against Hael I can commit? Repentance is key.
 
@JarlJade

So, just did some edits. They are

He is now only novice in magic. His time at the spire had stripped him of his connection.
He now has pants
His armor had been shattered at the spire, so its growing back in for now. And is currently replaced by grey stone.
He has a tricorn hat as well
 
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Slight bump so that I can find it within an hour for the imminent rewrite that I plan for him.
 
@JarlJade

Update:

-Changed his body build from Mesomorphic, to Endomorphic. Because it simply suited him better then mesomorphism ever did.

-Added a little bit of weight to him.

-Removed aesthetic leftovers from the Azure spire, they have long healed.

-Mentioned an approximate strength level (that of an average orc), being that half the Orcs I see nowadays are around 230lbs, and that is a
huge weight difference, regardless of how much more efficient Orc muscles may or may not be.

-Removed weakness "Sickly" because it was never used in RP...ever..

-Added the weakness "Lagging", describing how slow he is, and when it applies. This does come into my RP as him very often, so I decided it was high time to include it.

-Made Nal Roh more fluent in Tekree, as he has had to use it so much more as of late.
 
@JarlJade
Update!!


Nal Roh can no longer speak Zasta, due to the unfortunate fact that Dakkar are physically incapable of making the sounds necessary for it. But he can understand it perfectly well.

Bumped up his Tekree skills from subpar to fluent, as it would make no sense to have him be subpar in all languages that he speaks. And in the new rewrite I plan for him (that will coincide with the Dakkar update), he may end up learning some of another language.
 
@JarlJade

Slight update, and also a request.

Nal Roh's Maul was broken in the sewers, and the head is now lost in the water (he will never go after it, although he prays that he can find someone willing to retrieve it in the future), all that he has left is half of the handle.

Now, Nal Roh is more then likely going to get a new Maul, I want to ask if I can bump up the weight on his maul a considerable bit, because if I were to keep it at fifty pounds, it would honestly be a one handed weapon for him.

I also am considering getting him a new mace, because in all honestly, the one he has is a lightweight.

Do I have your permission to upgrade his weapons?
 
@JarlJade
Update!!


Nal Roh can no longer speak Zasta, due to the unfortunate fact that Dakkar are physically incapable of making the sounds necessary for it. But he can understand it perfectly well.

Bumped up his Tekree skills from subpar to fluent, as it would make no sense to have him be subpar in all languages that he speaks. And in the new rewrite I plan for him (that will coincide with the Dakkar update), he may end up learning some of another language.
Ku'uaki will get it ;3
 
This is fine.

Also just glancing over this once, more sinks like a stone and heat dependent are a given due to his race. You can remove them from his weaknesses as its already implied.
Expanded on his new maul, giving a slightly more detailed description.

I would also like to keep those weaknesses there, just so that I can remember them. Although if it really annoys you, just tell me and they will be gone.