Preserved Sheet Merlara Aerin Reevali - Thalyn

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river_essence

It's morbin' time.
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Age
23
Location
Living rent free in your basement
Kingdom
Luminen
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Name : Merlara Aerin Reevali - Thalyn

Age : 78 years

Gender : Female

Race : Fin'ullen Altalar

Sexuality : Straight and Married -- Complicated

Preferred Weapon : Steel Longsword




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Total Points : 50 + 10 hobby = 60

Sciences:

Alchemy Sciences : 20

Knowledge:

Perception Training : 10


Musical Arts: 10 (Hobby Points)

↪ Singing

Combat:

Sword Combat : 20

Bodycare Training: 15 (+5 Racial Points)



Physical Stats : 25

Body Shape : Sculpted

Body Fat : Low Body Fat


Languages

Common : 8/10

Modern Altalar : 10/10



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Ursarr Soul-line [Inactive]
↪ Black Steel Claws
↪ Cliff Claws
↪ Ursine Strength
↪ Solitary Hunter

von Kërle Blood-line [Active]

[BASE KIT]

↪Servile Collar I

The user can target either a willing or fully restrained person to attach any sort of Servile Collar to their neck. This Servile Collar can be any shape or color or design, applying a Possession to the target (which can be cleansed by Exorcism II), and is indefinite until it is removed. The Servile Collar causes the target to be under the command of the user, meaning that any command issued by the user within Emote Distance must be followed. Only the last command will remain active when leaving Emote Distance however. Servile Collar I cannot be used to cause a Character to engage in activities that would cause self-harm.
↪Afflicted Life I
From the moment that the Character is affected by the Affliction, their body ceases to age, and their Racial max-age no longer applies. If the Character is cured, they will age to their appropriate age within 2 weeks. If they are re-infected, their body will age backwards to when it was first affected by the Affliction. If the person has already lived past their Racial Max age, they die at the end of the 2 week period instead. For Characters using this Ability older than 150 years in total, a 150 Year Old Special Permission is required.
↪Blood Feeding I
The Character can extend their Vampiric teeth and sink anywhere on a target's body to begin drinking blood. While drinking, the victim is paralyzed and unable to react, but is still aware and can still speak. A full drink takes up to 10 minutes. As soon as the Character releases the Target, they have lingering paralysis for 30 seconds before the effect is removed. This Ability cannot be used during combat or to initiate combat, and the target may also not be restrained by other means during the feeding. This Ability has a 30 second cooldown after feeding is complete. If the Target has Control Power Immunity, they are only immune to the Paralysis effect, and can still be fed on.
↪Blood Eyes II
The Character permanently has reddened and darkened eye-sockets, and irises that are solid red, with a small black pupil. This overrules any other Mutations or effects unless that effect specifically mentions hiding Blood Eyes II. Additionally, the Character has Night-Vision, and is able to see through Mundane Darkness.
↪Blood Curse I
Firstly, the Character can still consume food and drinks, but achieves no satisfaction from their taste, as it all tastes like ash to them (except enchanted food made by other Vampiric Abilities). Secondly, The Vampire can reproduce with non-Vampires and Vampires alike, however the child will always result in a Vampire Brood of their Bloodline. Thirdly, if the Vampire does not feed within a week, they become physically frail. If they do not feed within two weeks, they become unable to engage in combat. After three weeks, they lose the ability to walk and become bed-bound. Vampires are unable to feed from other Vampires, and receive no satisfaction from feeding off of animals, except domesticated Sewer Rats, though the taste is revolting and makes the Vampires feel ill.
↪Vampiric Form I
[DESCRIPTION OF MERLARA'S VAMPIRIC FORM]
Merlara's skin is a combination of grey and silver, much like vitiligo along her arms, hands, and face - especially around her left eye. Silver circles it, before fading into the grey. Her hair becomes a grey colour as well, with some black strands here and there, as well as it being longer and a bit choppy on the ends. Her eye whites become a voidal black, almost, with her red irises staying and glowing rather lightly.
↪Cursed Soul I
While the character has an Affliction that includes this Ability, they are unable to use any Abilities found in Sorcery, Magic, and Faith Will. While having this Affliction, no other Affliction can be acquired. Proficiency Points are not refunded for Abilities lost. When the Affliction is removed (and this Ability), all normal use of Abilities is restored, and the Character can be Afflicted again.

[BLOODLINE KIT]

↪Primal Horror I
This Ability has a number of functions. Firstly, the Character is simply able to walk through Primal Shield I, ignoring it as a physical barrier. Secondly, Primal Divination I does not work on them. Thirdly, Attacks or Abilities made by this Character cannot trigger Primal Defense I when used by someone else. Finally, the Character can sense any Dragon Warden, Dragonsoul, or Archblood within Emote Distance, even through walls, to pinpoint accuracy. This Ability and all its effects have no Cooldown.
↪Belliard Horror I
The Character is completely immune to all Puretek uses. Furthermore, the Character is also immune to Exorcism I, II, III and Primal Cleansing, meaning if they have an Affliction, this Affliction can only be removed in a Sakrosankt.
↪Super Self II
The user can use Super Self II to instantly shift or move their feet or legs or ankles by either contorting, phasing, ghosting or re-shaping in such a way that any Rooting, Trapping or Snaring that is applied on them is instantly cancelled the moment it hits (all other effects of those Abilities or Mundane Techniques still apply). This Ability does not affect Abilities that apply Disabling effects to specific limbs or Paralysis.
↪Super Self IV
The Character is immune to any Alchemy, Mundane Techniques or Abilities that would cause a loss or gain, change, exchange or transferral of Proficiency Points or Physical Stat, both positively and negatively.
↪Super Self V
The Character is immune to any Ranged Combat Proficiency Mundane Techniques, with the exception of the Techniques gained at the full 20 Proficiency Point investment. The aesthetics for how these projectiles miss is up to the player, but it is recommended to simply pass through them as if they were a shadow.
↪Blood Dance I
Each wound drawing blood the Character applies with a weapon can be immediately used to undo an equivalent wound inflicted by that specific Target on the user themselves, as long as the wound was inflicted within the last 30 minutes. If there is no equivalent wound to undo, this Ability does nothing. If the user has no wounds, this Ability also does nothing. This ability has no Cooldown, however each wound inflicted cannot be "saved up". It must be used in 10 seconds or it expires.
↪Blood Dance II
The Character is able to summon a mist of Blood that quickly suctions onto their body, forming Steel plate armor on their chest, head, and forearms colored in crimson blood. This armor can be summoned and un-summoned instantly, and there is no Cooldown to this Ability. If Armor breaking Abilities or Mundane Techniques are used, and a single piece breaks, the whole Ability is Cancelled and put on a 30 minute Cooldown.
↪Blood Dance III
The Character is able to summon a mist of Blood that quickly suctions into the shape of a melee weapon of their desire in their hand. This Weapon can be summoned and un-sumoned instantly, and there is no Cooldown to this Ability. If Weapon degrading Abilities or Mundane Techniques are used, and the weapon would break or be destroyed, the whole Ability is Cancelled and put on a 30 minute Cooldown.
↪Vampiric Familiar II
The Character has a permanent Vampiric Familiar called the Bloodfalcon, a Falcon with bat ears, bat wings and a long tail that appears like squid arms with blood sucking mouths at the ends. The Bloodfalcon is purely aesthetic, as soon as Combat begins, it flies high up in the air and won't come down until Combat is over. The Bloodfalcon cannot perform any tasks, or leave the user. It can only play with the user or others in Emote Distance, or perch on the user's shoulder and make aesthetic gestures or noises. The Bloodfalcon can be summoned or un-summoned at will. This Familiar is immune to Spirit Curse I.
↪Power Howl I
The Character can unleash a blood curling echoing scream that reverberates in Emote Distance. Anyone who is Channelling an Ability or about to Channel has the Channel forcibly interrupted, regardless of what interruption rules this Ability has. If this Channel Ability has a cooldown shorter than 5 minutes, it is set to a 5 minute cooldown. If longer, the Ability's own cooldown is used. Additionally, anyone within 2 blocks of the user that was mid-swing with an attack, has their attack Staggered, meaning it automatically misses or is interrupted. This Ability has a 30 minute cooldown.
↪Corvaic Will I
The Character has a preemptive strike aura. Any first-of-the-day harming Ability or Mundane attack or Mundane Technique that is used on them (with the exception of the Techniques gained at the full 20 Proficiency Point investment) is intercepted by a flock of Crows that suddenly appears before the attack impacts the user, instead being Countered and doing no damage to the user, and also not imparting any additional effects. This Ability can only trigger once per day.
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Eye Colour : Green

Hair Colour : Bleach Blonde

Hair Style : Long wavy/curly locks down to her waist, with a few flowers and beads in her hair. The two sides of her hair has been braided and trail down her chest to her waist.

Skin Colour : Tan

Clothing : As shown in the second picture above, her clothing is stained with a few patches of dirt and some dents are seen in the metal parts of her clothing.

Height : 5'5"





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Character Alignment : Neutral Evil



Personality Type : Mediator



Character Religion : Faith of Estel (10/10)







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The Nelfin had a wonderful family; a loving mother and father and the family dog, Rosie, the Anglian Shepherd.



She would always run about as a child, her curiosity and mischief taking a hold of her at such a young age, but her parents would never be mad at her. They would be slightly disappointed, but love her nonetheless.



As Merlara turned 17, she found a local mage. He offered to teach her any sorcery of her choice. Having a connection to the elements around her, she chose Nature Sorcery.



The mage trained with her for a few years, praising her at the many improvements she made each and every day. He finally decided to give her the real test.



He approached the Nelfin, and told her she had one final lesson. She was ready, of course, the mage didn't doubt it. As he prepared the lesson, she readied herself and her energy.



As thought, Merlara had impressed the mage. She was taught two sorcery spells of her choice, which would be difficult for her size and age, and she excelled.



The mage bowed his head, and graduated her from student to Sorcerer that day, and she never lost the feeling of appraisal and pride since then.



At the age of 40, Merlara made her way to Regalia, loving the new change. She was her happy, bubbly self, greeting and saying "Hello" to most of the town folk. She thought she was at the right place - until it all crashed down upon her.



She was taken as a sort of slave, if you will, to a group of Sanguines. For the next 20 years of her life, everything changed for her. Her personality, her fears, weaknesses, it all changed her. About 15 years into the slavery, they allowed her some time out into Regalia again, allowing her to roam about, until a certain time of the day, or if she's needed for something dire.



21 years later, the Nelfin made her way to Regalia once more, to a Brothel to grab a drink or two with a few regals she snagged from the sanguines. It was then she met Arcana Reevali, the stubborn, hard headed, and intimidating Isldar. They spoke for a bit, until he threatened her. He figured she was going to take him to the Sanguines to turn him. She was terrified, falling to the floor in a curled ball of fear. It was then..Arcana knew she was no threat to him, the Nelfin just wanted out of the Sanguine's hold on her. He took her in, keeping her safe and warm, and most of all..loved, in a sense. After taking her in, he had adopted her, taking her as his own.



Since then, things have turned..for the better. She still has sudden flashbacks, and a complete fear of Sanguines, but..Arcana does all he can to keep her safe and calm.



As she turned 66, she joined The Disappearances, and met the love of her life, Kan'emar Thalyn. After she became pregnant with her three children, Lena, Cameron, and Daemeon, he proposed to her. Of course, she accepted his proposal, and now cares for their children in their own home, keeping them safe from any and all threats.





After losing her father to a suicide, Merlara had taken it to herself to leave the Disappearances, follow in his footsteps, and apply for the Crimson Inquisition. Karp had finally sent her a letter, only to put her as a Penitence, a role for past criminals. She was okay with this, more than happy, honestly, knowing she had to pull herself up into the higher ranks, and prove herself to Ser Karp and her team.



The clicker attacks have changed her completely, causing her to become more on guard and wary of her surroundings. She always checks in on the townsfolk, making sure that they have not heard anything out of the ordinary that would relate to the recent attacks, as well as watching for criminal activity as well. Since joining the Charter, however, she's had to raise her children differently, and they've listened to her..slightly. Granted, they're still in their rebellious teen years, she puts all of her time and patience into them.



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For the Physical Stat put it like this instead
  • (Body capped at **)
  • Calculations:=
  • Bodybuild:
  • Body Fat:
 
Hello there! Picking this up for staff review!
 
@Katiesc Keeping watch of her thread for her, shes unable to access it, Any edits need to be made?
 
Hello there, sorry for the wait. Things got busy after Christmas and New Years!

My Review:

Formatting
  • Image: Please put the larger image into a spoiler for ease of reading.
  • Format: Push the information back to the left. You may leave the headers in the center. This just makes it neat and nicer to read.
Skill Information
  • Proficiency Points: Given your character is 64, they have access to 60 points. You only have 30 spent, if you wish to spend more.
  • Hobby Points: All characters get 10 free hobby points. These can only be used on proficiency in the Arts Category. You don't have to use these but they're there if you wish to.
  • Ritualism: Pagan Ritualism is not compatible with Faith of Estel. Change religion to fit Pagan Ritualism, or alternatively, change Pagan Ritualism to Lightgiver Ritualism which falls in line with Faith of Estel.
Body Shape
  • Body Shape: None of your current proficiencies give you any Physical Stat meaning the 30 should be replaced by a 0.
  • Athletics: Athletic requires 10 Physical Stat which you don't have. Please change your Body Shape to Slim or Average unless you adjust your points.
Life Story:
  • Length, Formatting, & Errors: Your Life Story is too short for 64 years of age. It misses out on her time before Regalia. Please summarize the 40 years before coming to Regalia. Childhood, adolescence, important information that happened to her.
  • The years listed in the Life Story are a tad bit confusing. She was 40 when she arrived in Regalia but taken prisoner by sanguine for 20 years. And 21 years she was set free? Going off this, this would put her in her 80s. Adjust this and make the Life Story more clear. @Arc_BloodFallen and @NerdyPanda29
 
Uh..wait no, she was 40 when she was taken. She was taken a prisoner for 20-21 years, thus making her 60. Unless I am wrong.. I made all of that during a stressful time, so of course there's gonna be errors. @Katiesc
 
Ah! Don't worry if there's a few errors due to stressful times, I completely understand as I walked out of a time like that too recently. Take some time to look over the updates that are needed and if you have questions, just tag me and I'll help out! (And if you wish to contact me over Discord I can assist there too, Katiesc#4789) @NerdyPanda29
 
When the admin doesn't come back to check your sheet- It'l be reapproved soon Pandaaa, have patience :)
 
Darkness Sorcery : 8
As Merlara turned 17, she found a local mage. He offered to teach her any sorcery of her choice. Having a connection to the elements around her, she chose Elemental Sorcery.
There are some inconsistencies here. Equally however, I find it very jarring that a Cielothar for some reason knows Darkness Sorcery which is a Kathar form of magic and is hostile. Cielothar have a penchant to Lightness, Nature and Elemental and are usually pacifistic.

Do you mean vampires?

Be sure to tag me and highlight edits when you're done! The main point I would like to convey however is that a lot of points are kind of jarring to a Cielothar. Cielothar are normally very pacifistic and it's difficult to get that ideology out of them, I would recommend that you write more detail into her backstory and upbringing to paint a better picture of them as a character and to justify their motives a bit more.
 
Be sure to tag me and highlight edits when you're done! The main point I would like to convey however is that a lot of points are kind of jarring to a Cielothar. Cielothar are normally very pacifistic and it's difficult to get that ideology out of them, I would recommend that you write more detail into her backstory and upbringing to paint a better picture of them as a character and to justify their motives a bit more.
I just saw this part, haha! Really, her story goes with the points. She had a troubling life, what with being taken by the sanguines/vampires, and it changed her completely, and then being in the Disappearances guild, leaving them, having kids, and now losing her father and joining the Inquisition, that has changed her as a whole. I do, however, feel like the story itself does go with the points and such as well, without any extra detail and edits. I will, however, change her race to Central Altalar.

@Caelamus
 
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I just saw this part, haha! Really, her story goes with the points. She had a troubling life, what with being taken by the sanguines/vampires, and it changed her completely, and then being in the Disappearances guild, leaving them, having kids, and now losing her father and joining the Inquisition, that has changed her as a whole. I do, however, feel like the story itself does go with the points and such as well, without any extra detail and edits. I will, however, change her race to Central Altalar.

@Caelamus
Remember altalar who are not vampires can have an additional +10 point bonus! I think that was a good choice, Central Altalar fits them a lot more.
 
Sciences:

Alchemy Sciences : 15



Knowledge:

Perception Training : 10

Sanguinology : 4

Literary Arts : 5 (Hobby points)

Musical Arts: 11 (Hobby points)

↪ Singing


Combat:

Labour Training : 5

Blades Combat : 10

Athletic Training: 9

Unarmed Combat : 8



Magic:

Lightgiver Ritualism Skill : 8 [INACTIVE]
Should be 70 points, Clarify hobby points. You are five points over the limit.

Literary Arts : 5 (Hobby points)
Musical Arts: 11 (Hobby points)

Like this;
Musical Arts: 11 (+6 Hobby Points, +5 Points)
 
Magic:

Lightgiver Ritualism Skill : 8 [INACTIVE]
Just so you know, werebeastism and even archblood affliction don't actually cancel out Lightgiver. Only Vampirism does. Werebeasts can still revere the exist just like Vampires can the void. Also Approved.
 
Lightgiver Ritualism Skill : 8
This is not how ritualism works anymore. Refer to the ritualism page.

Please condense your proficiency points spent and reduce the spaces it's abrasive to read.

+12 Ritualism (+12 Points)
+10 Blahblah (+10 Points)
+10 Roiririuew (+10 Talent Points)

And so forth so it is more condensed and easy to review.
 
This is not how ritualism works anymore. Refer to the ritualism page.

Please condense your proficiency points spent and reduce the spaces it's abrasive to read.

+12 Ritualism (+12 Points)
+10 Blahblah (+10 Points)
+10 Roiririuew (+10 Talent Points)

And so forth so it is more condensed and easy to review.
Okay! I'll fix it up when I find time! Winter storm got us good.