Rejected Sheet Marianne Deredda

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Surrealizm, Dec 15, 2019.

  1. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "In words are seen the state of mind and character and disposition of the speaker."
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    ⧫》 Full Name: Marianne Alyssandra Deredda
    ⧫》 Nicknames: Mari, Anna, Mar, Maria
    ⧫》 Age: 69
    ⧫》 Birthday: June 9th, 245 A.C.
    ⧫》 Gender: Female
    ⧫》 Race: Altalar

    ⧫》 Subrace: Fin’ullen
    ⧫》 Bloodline: Dorkath (When infected)
    ⧫》 Sexuality: Bisexual
    ⧫》 Status: Unknown
    ⧫》 Preference: Females
    ⧫》 Weapon of Choice: Swords
    ⧫》 Religion(s): (When not infected)

    ⧫》 Estel Worship - 7/10
    ⧫》 Unionism - 4/10

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "I am a question to the world not an answer to be heard, Or a moment that's held in your arms."
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    ⧫》 Proficiency Points: 50
    ⧫》 Core:
    ⧫》 +20 Metallurgy Science (+20 Points Spent)
    ⧫》 +10 Sword Combat (+10 Points Spent)
    ⧫》 +5 Fist Combat (+5 Points Spent)
    ⧫》 Talent:
    ⧫》 +5 Frontline Command (+5 Talent Points)
    ⧫》 +5 Siege Command (+5 Talent Spent)
    ⧫》 Hobby:
    ⧫》 +10 Sailing Arts (+5 Hobby Points, +5 from Racial)
    ⧫》 +10 Pathfinding Arts (+10 Points Spent)
    ⧫》 +5 Fortification Arts (+5 Hobby Points)
    ⧫》 +5 Hunting Art (+5 Points Spent)

    ⧫》 Body Shape:

    ⧫》 Physical Stat: (10 Sword Combat*1 = 10 BP) + (20 Metllurgy*.5 = 10 BP) + (5 Fist Combat*1 = 5 BP) + (10 Sailing Art*.5 = 5 BP) + (10 Pathfinding*.5 = 5 BP) = 35 BP (Capped at 25)
    ⧫》 Body Build: Muscular
    ⧫》 Body Fat: Extreme Low Fat

    ⧫》Languages:

    ⧫》 Common
    ⧫》 Modern Altalar

    ⧫》Special Traits and Mutations:

    ⧫》 Morrlond's Font
    ⧫》 While in combat, and once per day, the Altalar can cause a rapid spout of water to appear underneath them that launches them at least 10 feet up in the air, and gives them a clean landing. This water spout can only be used to dodge a single non-Ability mundane attack on the Altalar, it cannot be used to reach higher locations, or cushion a landing. Additionally the Altalar can change their Body Shape into whatever shape they like, or when they become enraged, into any Body Shape, except for Musclegod or higher.
    ⧫》 Talsieth's Watch (Inactive)
    ⧫》 The Altalar can activate the Talsieth’s Watch, a Racial Shift that gives them webbed feet and hands, as well as gills in their neck, granting underwater breathing. Additionally, they gain underwater Darkness sight, allowing them to see in any brightness while underwater, and swimming at the same speed as other aquatic Races.
    ⧫》 Dorkath Bloodline (Active)
    ⧫》 Auld Form
    ⧫》 Whilst in her Auld Form, Marianne's hair fades away and changes into jat-black horns that cover a large portion of the top of her skull. Her skin becomes colored a dark gray shade with black glyphs. A third eye appears above her other two, forming a triangle of eyes. As for the color, her eyes become solid black with a thin halo of bright red where her irises used to be.
    ⧫》 Auld Embrace
    ⧫》 Any leather-tier or above armor worn by the Vampire is automatically as strong as platemail tier armor, however any leather-tier or above armor worn by the Vampire also gains weakness to Archan Lineage Ailor, Dragon Warriors, Archblood, and Sihndar who ignore the armor all together with their attacks, striking straight through. This Mutation can apply outside of Vampire Form.
    ⧫》 Auld Sensing
    ⧫》 Any Target Illusion or Object Illusion that is imparting effects on the Vampire is Detected by the Vampire, but not nullified. This means that if an Illusion Ability of any kind affects the Vampire, they will be aware that they are being affected by an Illusion, but still cannot tell what is an illusion and what is not, or the difference between multiple Illusions or a single one. Additionally, while they have no detection or protection against Target Curses, they can sense an Object Curse nearby (the object itself) as long as they are within Emote Distance of it, but they cannot pinpoint the exact location, only that a Cursed item is present near them. This Mutation can be used outside of Vampire Form
    ⧫》 Auld Echoscream
    ⧫》 The Vampire can activate an Echoscream while standing still. This produces a series of red echowaves that reverberate against walls and corridors in Emote Distance around them. This provides them with a snap-snot mental image of the layout of the building or area they are in, in that very second that the Echoscream reverberates. Additionally, they will have a mental image of any heartbeat that is within that Emote Distance, but only from that very snapshot (meaning if the heartbeat moves after the Echoscream, it will no longer be up to date). This Ability can be used once every two hours.
    ⧫》 Auld Moratorium
    ⧫》 Dorkarth Vampires with this Mutation are the only Vampires who can unlock Dorkarth Moratoriums, old sites dating back from the Vampire Wars that hide the corrupted specters of the Dorkarth Morthaal, sages of old Dorkarthi knowledge and Vampiric wisdom. Dorkarth Moratoriums can both act as a temporary safehouse, as well as a place to summon the knowledge of the Vampire Wars and the extended Vampire spy-network across the world. This Mutation can be used outside of Vampire Form.
    ⧫》 Auld Bloodwar
    ⧫》 This Ability grants the Vampire the means to summon blood-sung weapons made out of crystallized blood with the toughness of steel. They can summon one weapon (or two if they dual-wield), but they cannot give these weapons to anyone else, as when they leave their hands, the weapons disintegrate. After disintegration, this Ability goes on a 20-second cooldown. This Ability can summon ranged weapons also, but any and all weapons including ranged obey Proficiency mechanics. Additionally, projectiles shot with a Bloodsung bow will be made out of Bloodsung material also. Bloodsung arrows somewhat disintegrate in travel to their target, before splashing onto them in puffs of red smoke. This does not cause actual wounds, but does equivalent harm to the target as if they were actually hit with an arrow. Finally, Bloodsung weapons can be exploded while in the hands of the Vampire. This causes a shockwave that pushes everyone (excluding the Vampire) within 8 blocks back by 3 blocks, but does not knock them off their feet, yet will interrupt charges or Channel Abilities. If this mechanic is used, this Ability goes on a 1 hour cooldown.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you."
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    ⧫》 Eye Color: Naturally ocean blue, but crimson red when infected
    ⧫》 Hair Color: Black
    ⧫》 Hairstyle: Kept long, but put in a bun when working in her blacksmith shop
    ⧫》 Skin Color: Naturally fair pink tone
    ⧫》 Clothing: Loose fitting feminine clothing, often times in darker colors
    ⧫》 Height: 6’1

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "You forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget."
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    ⧫》 Character Alignment: Neutral Good

    ⧫》 Marianne will remain unbiased on most matters, trying to do whatever she believes is the right thing to do. Often times breaking some rules in the process of doing what is right. She will work with the Violet Order, or any other form of authority but she does not feel indebted to them in any way. In the case that she has to bend the rules to do what she believes is right, she won’t feel any moral conflict.
    ⧫》 Personality Type: Virtuoso
    ⧫》 Over her long life Marianne has learned to adapt to her environment, and adopt new skills such as blacksmithing, financial studies, carpentry, and many more skills to come. She enjoys the challenge of learning new skills and trying her best to become good at them, she also tries to hone her skills overtime.
    ⧫》 Religion:
    ⧫》 Faith of Estel - 7/10
    ⧫》 As an altalar she believes in Estel, worshipping her everyday but tries not to publically worship her in favor of being accepted by the ailor within Regalia. She also has learned Lightgiver Ritualism which has allowed her to further her knowledge of the religion.
    ⧫》 Unionism - 4/10
    ⧫》 Her half-brother Eldradon has asked the family that they at least learn some things about the religion so that they might be accepted with semi-open hands when they arrive in Regalia. So Marianne went to a few masses to learn some of the phrases and terms used by the more devout Unionist followers.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    "Do not tell me what I can and cannot do."
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    ⧫》 Childhood:

    ⧫》 Marianne Alyssandra Deredda was born on June 9th, 245 A.C. in the Kingdom of Lusits where she would be raised by her mother, as her siblings as her father were not in the picture at the time she was born. She never met her eldest half-brothers Eldradon and Marikyn as well as her sister Rosayina. Marianne was quite the curious child, often getting herself into trouble because of her curiosity. Her mother would give her blocks, or other toys to play with to keep her from doing something that would get her hurt while her mother worked.
    ⧫》 Marianne began learning about the Faith of Estel, and other Altalar traditions from her mother, but whenever she could Marianne would sneak off and go watch the town blacksmith. Often stressing her mother out because she would sneak off without a word. By the age of ten she could speak modern-altalar, not fluently as she was still learning but she could speak well enough that people could at least understand her. The blacksmith would soon catch her snooping around the shop, first thinking she was trying to steal he was outraged but then Marianne told him that she thought what he did was art, and she wanted to learn he was embarrassed and then the man named Mateo began to teach Marianne, making her his apprentice.
    ⧫》 Adolescence:
    ⧫》 Marianne continued her apprenticeship under Mateo, learning how to make a piece of metal, into a work of art. She also picked up skills in carpentry so that she could make grips for the weapons that she forged. Marianne’s mother has glad that she found something that she liked, encouraging her to continue learning which she did. During this time with Mateo, she began to learn how to read and speak in common because he believed it would help her in the future, which it did.
    ⧫》 By her eighteenth birthday, Marianne could forge her own armor as well as most weapons, given enough time of course. Mateo said that she was ready to become her own boss, and she later left Mateo as his apprentice. The two remain close even to this day, sending letters back and forth every once in a while.
    ⧫》 Early Adulthood:
    ⧫》 Marianne bought her own home, moving out of her childhood home although she remained within Lusits where she would set up her own blacksmith, using the skills that Mateo had taught her over the years, she also thought that it would be a wise idea to learn about financial studies if she was going to have her own business. While walking through the town one day, she met another blacksmith named Mathias who was an altalar who worked mainly with nightsilver. Marianne would then ask the man if he would teach her how to work with nightsilver, and he agreed. Beginning her second apprenticeship.
    ⧫》 Marianne spent the next ten years perfecting her craft, and honing in on her skills. She would be able to work with the rare material, later even being able to make it from all metals and forge it into armor, as well as weapons. She would later make herself a knife that had a nightsilver blade, using her smithing skills as well as her carpentry skills to form the handle of the knife from a Allú'tornë tree that she chose carefully, having the heart of the tree cut from it as that is the strongest part of the tree. She cut the wooden piece of a shield she would make from the same tree, adding nightsilver around the edges of the shield. After this she trained to use both her spear and shield in case she ever needed to take up arms in order to defend herself or her shop.
    ⧫》 When Marianne turned forty-one, the Chrysant War had begun. She decided that she would profit off this, forging weapons, shields, and armor to sell to the ailor within Lusits who were in the Regalian Military. Later making the journey across the sea to the Crown Isle, quickly setting up her own shop to sell her goods out of. By the end of the war she had amassed enough regals to live a lavish life. When the Songaskian War began she decided that she would join the military, serving as a foot soldier. Marianne would repair the other soldiers weapons and armor throughout the war. When the war ended and she came back to Regalia she decided that she would not go to war unless she truly had to because of what she had witnessed. Then, before she knew it Freya Lo had taken over causing Marianne to go into hiding out of fear, leaving Regalia all together and making her way back to Lusits.
    ⧫》 Present:
    ⧫》 After receiving a letter from her eldest half-brother Eldradon, Marianne came back to Regalia. She know lives with her other siblings, Rosayina, Marikyn, and Eldradon. She has continued to use her smithing skills in order to bring the family some extra income, as well as helping Eldradon, or Don with the financial side of the family. After meeting Anya the two quickly became friends, and soon Mari found herself becoming a Dorkath sanguine and began helping Anya in her endeavors. She'd also find work in the Wraith and made friends with Sophie Perrot.

     
    • Immersive Immersive x 1
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    #1 Surrealizm, Dec 15, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2020
  2. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    Update Log
    • 1/4/20: Proficiency Changes, added Alais vampire bloodline, took away +10 boost and lightgiver ritualism, and added 2 sentences to end of lifestory.
    • 4/27/20: Proficiency Changes, changed from Alais to Dorkath after deciding it was a better fit to her personality. Fixed backstory for becoming a vampire as well and added void worship.
    • 5/21/20: After realizing that Altalar Forge skill was removed I moved those +20 elsewhere making Metallurgy +25 and adding +5 Finecraft Sciences.
    • 10/29/20: After the new update came out I updated her proficiency points as well as her mutations both racial and vampiric.
     
    #2 Surrealizm, Dec 15, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2020
  3. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
  4. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
  5. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
  6. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    @Caelamus I added aesthetics and lost my title can I get re-approved
     
  7. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    @Caelamus Changes made, check update log
     
  8. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
    Faith of Estel and Void Worship conflict and character can only really choose one. Vampires blatantly disregard religion regardless. Any points below 3 equally begin to indicate someone who despises a religion.

    Vampires do not respect religion.

    The biggest point of contention that I would ask you review is adjusting the personality to fit vampirism accordingly.
     
  9. MrNoot1

    MrNoot1 Let there be Noot

    Joined:
    May 13, 2018
    Messages:
    990
    Likes Received:
    336
    Also, his mutations are that of the Dorkarth Bloodline. If he's doing Alais Bloodline, then he should do the Alais mutations.
     
  10. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
  11. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    I changed her bloodline from Alais to Dorkath and stated such
     
  12. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
    Final point
     
  13. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
  14. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
  15. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    @Caelamus Changes made, check update log for the rundown.
     
  16. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361
  17. Surrealizm

    Surrealizm Refugee

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2018
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    24
    @Caelamus I updated her profs and her mutations for vampirism
     
  18. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    4,776
    Likes Received:
    361

Share This Page