Preserved Sheet Lucas De Escrebano

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H0on

H0on

Local goblin enthusiast
Joined
Jun 30, 2016
Messages
63
Reaction score
129
Points
0
Faction
Evedor
Kingdom
Evedor
Basic Information
  • Full Name: Lucas de Escrebano
  • Age: 36
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Daendroque Ailor
  • Main Ambition: To make a name for himself in Regalia for spreading combat knowledge and for expanding the de Escrebano's wealth
  • Special Permission: Expert School of Turall

  • School: School of Turall
  • Level: Expert
  • Source: Attended Turall Blade School


Visual Information
  • Eye Color: Dark green
  • Hair Color: Brownish red
  • Hair Style: short, curly
  • Skin Color: tan
  • Clothing: Navy blue coat over grey tunic and pants
  • Height: 185 cm
  • Body Build: Muscular
  • Weapon of Choice: Dual daggers
  • Lucas usually carries a stern expression. Lucas can't see with his left eye which turned very light after a long duel and also has a scar near his left eye, also earned from the same duel. Similar to his kins, he has a strong jawline and a almond eyes. Lucas's beard stretches out from his right to left cheek, it is also the same color as his hair. He has a thin lips that is a light shade of pink unlike other members of the family.
  • Lucas is considered athletic even though his body type would be a mix of sinewy and athletic. He has a toned body with broad shoulders. Most of his muscle mass would be in the lower part of the body. His upper body is less defined than his lower part of his body. His biceps and triceps are still well toned but not as much as his lower body. Lucas has less body hair than other people, though his body hair is thick.
  • Lucas often wears Daendroque/Regalian styled clothing. He wears clothing that are trending and up to style, his preferred color being navy blue. Lucas always wears a unique blacksteel ring with the crest of House de Escrebano on it which was given by his mother.
  • Lucas has a strong Daendroque accent when he speaks. His voice is deep and rich. The languages he can speak are Common, and Daendroque.
: Made by Ghirko​

Personality and Abilities
  • Lucas is seen as a reserved, cold and pessimistic person. People who know him closely describes him as a respectable man who always keeps good etiquette. He acts on reason and circumstance, and is more likely to stick with what he has learned rather than theory. Lucas is very straight forward with his feelings and thoughts about various topics. At first glance, people think him approachable as he always wears a serene face. He is often seen socializing with those he knows rather than new people.
  • Lucas has this thought process in which he always think how he would impress his sister and his long dead father. He always thinks pessimistically because he thinks that pessimism causes definite action. Lucas is always anxious about the judgement of others, nervous that he will be judged negatively. He is haunted by his immature worries and concerns and has a very low self esteem.
  • To him, being with his family means being with people who will accept him no matter what. When spending time with his family, his self esteem and confidence boosts up, and he is more open about his worries. He is yet to open to extended family and family friends. Around friends, Lucas is trusting to them but not as much as he is to his family. He is a bit reserved when he is around his friends, fearing their judgement. During his free time, Lucas tries not to get too close to his family as he fears that the relationships will interfere with his work.
  • Always trying his best to make a better world, Lucas takes decisive action regarding world conflicts and thrives for the greater good. He does not fear bringing severe punishment to those who are evil and have bad morales. Lucas is always considerate on making the world a better place. Often thinking about world problems and not individual problems, Lucas is considered cold hearted by others.

Talents
  • Turall Fighter (Expert): Lucas was trained by exceptional teachers in the Turall Blade school so he thrives at the Turall fighting style. Lucas was tutored from a young age by his father and practiced frequently by sparring with his sister. He uses his agility and endurance to his advantage, tiring out his opponents with quick attacks. Lucas puts a lot of acrobatics in his style, using it mostly for evasion.

Weaknesses
  • Left eye: During a duel, Lucas lost his left eye and received a scar a long with it. He usually cannot perceive attacks coming from his left until the very last moment. The left eye is very prone to damage and causes great pain to him if the left eye is injured. Very heavy hits at his left eye will cause him to black out from pain.
Aurora de Escrebano - Close sister @dboy_101
Gabriel de Escrebano - Sister
María de Escrebano - Sister
Daníella de Escrebano - Close relative
Thiago de Escrebano - Close relative
Morrigan E Allaway - Close friend @celticwitch

Life Story

Childhood
Lucas was born in Castillo de Botellón on the coasts of Kilarallis, Daendroc, living with his parents. He was tutored by his father on the Turall Blade fighting style and basic literature. Often abused by his parents, he was not very close with them. He was mostly abused when he did something wrong, when he lied or when he acted inappropriately with guests present. During his childhood, he never had time to interact with friends so he was not experienced with a normal social life. Always a bad liar, the de Escrebano always got caught doing things he wasn't supposed to. As a child, Lucas stole family households that looked cool or valuable to him. Though he did usually keep the stolen stuff as it wasn't very valuable, he was constantly scolded and beat for the stuff he stole. His parents usually didn't allow him to go out of the estate he resided in.

Adolescence
As Lucas grew up as a teenager, he became impatient and very irritable. At the age of 16, he moved to Regalia and enrolled into the Turall Blade School. The teachers favored Lucas as he was exemplary with the fighting style. He made many different friends in the school. Lucas often visited his family during his adolescence, taking advantage of his days off. Once, he was severely punished, (50 lashes) for damaging one of the school's daggers. After some time, Lucas was challenged by a powerful student. Lucas accepted and though he did win the duel, he lost his left eye and received a scar. Lucas often ventured the academy grounds often finding hidden and areas. Lucas was constantly told by teachers that he should join the Regalian Navy but he insisted that he become a teacher or a sellsword. After 6 years of training, he graduated as a hardened warrior and decided to spread the Turall Blade fighting style.

Adulthood/current day
During his adulthood, Lucas lacked money so he partially used his time as a sellsword. His main job was and still is teaching the Turall fighting style. He taught many students, most who thrived to become a powerful fighter. After teaching for 10 years, he discovered many different techniques and learned a lot from other Turall teachers. Most of the techniques he discovered was using acrobatics to further tire your opponent and to use it to easily find an opening. After much debating, Lucas decided not to teach in the academy because the academy payed teachers less than private tutoring would. As time passed, Lucas became more acquainted with family friends. He currently goes around Regalia privately tutoring the Turall fighting style or selling his service as a sellsword.
 
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Peer Review
Hello I will be doing a Peer Review for you're Character Sheet!
This is my review:​


First Point: This is completely of choice but I would organize the Life Story so it is easier for you reviewer or anybody who is reading it to direct themselves to the ages of you're character's life.

Second Point: In the weapon of choice section I would maybe add how he will use the daggers just for reference. You could also add what he uses for a Spar or Honorable Duel with someone but this is completely by choice.

Third Point: If I am not mistaken you have to add another weakness to balance the talents and weaknesses.

Fourth Point: The only things left are a few grammatical and spelling errors so I would just read through it and fix those. For example, in the second paragraph of you're personality and abilities think should be thinks.

Hope this suffices!

@H0on​


​
 
Just a quick note, @H0on. All of Aurora's siblings were born and raised at the Castillo de Botellón on the coasts of Kilarallis, Daendroc. Although Lucas was born shortly after the revolution, he was still born in the same place as the others.
Also, he wasn't the only male born to Isabella and Rodrigo, Gabriel is also male and Maria is his wife.
Finally, you only have two talents and the minimum requirement is three.
 
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dboy_101 said:
Just a quick note, @H0on. All of Aurora's siblings were born and raised at the Castillo de Botellón on the coasts of Kilarallis, Daendroc. Although Lucas was born shortly after the revolution, he was still born in the same place as the others.
Also, he wasn't the only male born to Isabella and Rodrigo, Gabriel is also male and Maria is his wife.
Finally, you only have two talents and the minimum requirement is three.
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Changes made. Thanks for the review!

dboy_101 said:
Finally, you only have two talents and the minimum requirement is three.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
/Maximum/ requirement is three. https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/character-applications-template.54735/
 
Here's my review -
  • Basic Information:
    • Lucas' main ambition is incredibly vague and cliche, providing no direction or substance to the character whatsoever. I need to know a more specific idea as to what he wants to go for in order to better provide tips on character balance.
  • Visual Information:
    • One cannot acquire blacksteel daggers as a commoner without the player quest system, which is actually currently under-rework to become the adventure system. You'll need to wait until then to actually have them on your character sheet.
  • Personality and Abilities:
    • Your second paragraph doesn't go into the specifics of his fears and anxieties and instead just talks about how he formulates his ideas and statements.
    • The third paragraph fails to distinguish between friends and family and just groups them together as if they're the same thing. If this is the case, then it needs to be clarified, but otherwise such an outlook is highly irregular in this setting.
  • Talents:
    • I feel as though courageous is more than covered by the statement of being an expert Turall. Obviously he isn't afraid of getting into combat, so there's no need to say that again. Try to go for more specific pieces of knowledge, formal education, or training he has to fill up talents if you want more than one.
  • Life Story:
    • The life story is very short and rather quick, going almost directly from his birth into a time when he is sixteen. I want you to extend it to more than one paragraph and detail each part of his life more lengthily.
Mark these changes in red and tag me when you're done.
 
In response to recent changes -
  • I am not really satisfied with the changes made to the main ambition. I want it to be a solid sentence that doesn't just state power and wealth as simply as you do. That is far too two-dimensional for me to consider it changed. Moreover the notion that your character wants to learn more about combat seems out of place given that he's already expert Turall.
  • I want to also remind you that the use of an expert permission will require you to register it, so make sure you do so after this application is sorted out.
  • "There were rumors in the Turall Blade School about Lucas being a player and a friend."
    • This sort of language isn't going to be tolerated on a character application, nor on the forums. There are more eloquent ways of expressing this.
Mark these changes in blue and tag me when you're done.
 
Valentinian said:
In response to recent changes -
  • I am not really satisfied with the changes made to the main ambition. I want it to be a solid sentence that doesn't just state power and wealth as simply as you do. That is far too two-dimensional for me to consider it changed. Moreover the notion that your character wants to learn more about combat seems out of place given that he's already expert Turall.
  • I want to also remind you that the use of an expert permission will require you to register it, so make sure you do so after this application is sorted out.
  • "There were rumors in the Turall Blade School about Lucas being a player and a friend."
    • This sort of language isn't going to be tolerated on a character application, nor on the forums. There are more eloquent ways of expressing this.
Mark these changes in blue and tag me when you're done.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Ok... changes made in blue.
@Valentinian
 
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