Approved Sheet Lloxern Ze’lil

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Lizehrd, Jun 9, 2018.

  1. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    [​IMG]

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    Core Information
    Name: Lloxern Ze’lil

    Age: 35
    • Birthday: 1st of August, 272 AC
    • Birthplace: Hadar

    Gender: Masculine
    • Pronouns: He/Him/His

    Race: Allar
    • Caste: Maz-Allar

    Sexuality: Homosexual
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    Skill Information
    Points Spent

    • Proficiency: 40
    • Hobby: 10
    • Reserved: 10

    Core Proficiencies
    • Fist Combat: 10
      • Proficiency Points: 10
    • Axe Combat: 10
      • Proficiency Points: 10

    Talent Proficiencies
    • Strength Training: 10
      • Proficiency Points: 5
      • Racial Boost: 5

    Hobby Proficiencies
    • Hunting Art: 5
      • Hobby Points: 5
    • Sailing Art: 10
      • Hobby Points: 5
      • Proficiency Points: 5
    • Vocal Art: 5
      • Proficiency Points: 5
    • Body Art: 5
      • Proficiency Points: 5

    Point Buy
    • Linguistics: 0
      • Languages: Common, Zasta

    Racial Abilities
    • Maz-Allar:
      • Body Mend II
      • Hunt Sense I
      • Nature Gift I
      • Power Howl I
      • Allar Biology II

    Mutation/Special Abilities
    • None

    Physical Stat
    • Stat Calculation: 25
      • Fists Combat: 10
      • Axes Combat: 10
      • Strength Training: 10
      • Sailing Art: 5
    • Body Shape: Muscular
    • Body Fat: Moderate/Obese (varies)
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    Visual Information
    Eye Color
    • Iris Color: Bright Orange
    • Sclera Color: Pale Yellow

    Feather Color
    • Current Color: Sunkissed-Orange, tipped with Azure
    • Natural Color: White

    Feather Style
    • Lloxern’s feather style often changes, seemingly always worn in a new way. Though, what remains constant is the flamboyant, mane-like appearance of it, and how many feathers there are on him.

    Skin/Scale Color
    • Skin Color: Pale
    • Scale Color: Slate Gray/Green

    Clothing
    • Lloxern typically prefers to wear as little as he can (which often ends up being just skirts and sarongs), in order to show off the plethora of colorful tattoos he has covering his hefty frame. When he must cover up, though, he usually wears dresses or robes or some kind, or heavy, formal coats.

    Height
    • Imperial: 5’11”
    • Metric: 180.3 cm
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    Personality
    Alignment

    • Lloxern is chaotic, life-loving, and fearless to a fault… but just the same he is loyal, reverent of tradition, and stalwart in the face of taking the high road. Between these two ends, Lloxern is easily Neutral Good, wanting to do what he can for his friends, family, and common man, inspiring them to new heights and creating stories for them to both laugh at and take part in. Lloxern strives towards a better world and a simple life for himself, and so he fights for glory for the sake of others, reaching to the horizon to help others find the strength to do the same.

    Personality
    • Lloxern is undoubtedly a Champion, in that he cannot stand being some type of generic Mu-Allar, despite his similarities to many others. Part of the reason he loves being in Regalia is that his culture is so vastly different from others. Along with that, Lloxern is a natural-born trail blazer even if he isn’t so much a leader. He likes to dress in vibrant and eccentric garb that has reminiscence to the clothes of other races, he fights in a way that is aggressive and reckless, and he isn’t afraid to pipe up and voice his opinion should the situation require it. Lloxern is a champion fully, and every aspect of it is embraced wholly by him.

    Religion
    • Lloxern is a follower of the Great Alchzech, having been raised by the faith and holding firmly to it. Though, that being said, he has always had a respect for Dragon Worship, and has embraced the faith fully, standing steadfast to the work of the dragons and following in the footsteps of other devout, hoping to do what he can to protect the world from corrupting forces that he’s experienced firsthand. He respects Unionism just the same, and he tries not to make religion the focus of his life, though.
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    Life Story
    Lloxern was born on the first of August in 272 AC, in a small fishing village on an island in the south-western archipelagos of Hadar. Sired by a Mai-Allar union, Lloxern was quickly taken under the care of a same-sex Maz-Allar couple living in the village, and under their guidance he was raised.

    Growing up, Lloxern was a carefree and reckless child, though he often heeded his fathers’ advice and looked up to them heavily. He spent much of his time down at the docks of the small village, learning how to fish and spending time with members of the other castes, including the parents from whom he hatched. While this concept seems odd and outlandish to many other Allar, it was a staple part of the culture of the island from which Lloxern grew up. In the archipelago he called home, culture was different from that of the Allar in Hadar, and this was one of many aspects that he had grown used to.

    While Maz-Allar are expected to be lean and thin in other portions of the world, where Lloxern was from he was taught that larger size and heavier weight was preferable to thinner builds. His fathers were both quite large in frame, and he copied after them without lapse, spending much of his free time eating and working out over practicing the hunting games as would other Allar. Large game was devoid on the islands, and so the Maz caste were focused more into warriors rather than hunters, though Lloxern did learn climbing and swimming as essential skills. He learned how to hunt using axes, short blades, and even how to use his entire body as a weapon. It was easy to mistake Lloxern for a Sendrassian during his training, but his genuine good will and humor thoroughly reminded those around him that he bore the blood of Hadar in his veins.

    Lloxern’s easy going life took a turn when the Chrysant War struck. Within days, his town was empty of old friends and familiar faces and his father had left to go to war, leaving just Lloxern and his dad. From him he learned not combat tools, but instead the stories, histories, and myths of the Allar empire, about the ancient island traditions, and the art of tapping ink into scales to make vibrant tattoos along with how to properly maintain feathers. Lloxern’s body, as he continued to grow, mature, and learn, slowly was covered in these stories and these lessons, some done by his father and others by village elders. When he was old enough, he left his island town to head off to official schooling, training so that he could become a warrior in the name of the Digmaan who lorded over the islands, Cro-Moiiue.

    Lloxern traveled into the heart of Hadar to train at the Claw of Karfanth, one of the institutions that reached the wide-spread School of Krzsallaz. At first Lloxern was almost turned away due to his size, however through dedication he managed to prove himself of having the ability and potential to train in the school. Though, despite his acceptance he was often alienated from his peers. The toughest part of his training was not the expectations placed upon him, but instead the constant pressure from his peers.

    It was only after the Chrysant ended did Lloxern finally graduate. The ceremony was short and the celebrations were shorter. Hadar was crippled from the brutal war, but Lloxern still only had dreams of glory and idealistic fictions of what war was like. Returning home, his father was harrowed by the war and the reunion wasn’t as joyous as Lloxern had hoped it would be. He didn’t stay long in his village, quickly moving onto another island in the archipelago, and pledging his service to his Digmaan. Lloxern’s life quickly became simple once more, as he did his duty and with flying colors, and kept in touch with his parents.

    However, as time went on Lloxern thought more and more about the Ailor of Regalia. Maybe it was from the stories of how powerful and triumphant they were or it was his own curiosity, but the Mu found himself constantly thinking about them. From his service as a jogro for Moiiue, he earned quite a paycheck and more importantly learned of the unionization of Hadar led by Cro-Zzhin Yaotl in Regalia. He felt that destiny had come together just for him, as he left Hadar and traveled to Regalia to become a part of something bigger than just the little archipelago that was home.

    In Regalia, Lloxern quickly found himself being recruited into the ranks of Cro-Zzhin as a jogro for the Digmaan. He found brotherhood and friendship in the other Allar he met, and while he was much younger than many of them he felt as competent and as equal as they are. Regalia was a whole new chapter for Lloxern, and one that felt truly right to him, especially when he came across an Ailor baker who quickly became his mate.

    Life for Lloxern was great, and he spent much of his days helping out at the small bakery of his mate and serving his Digmaan, though when the vampire crisis erupted in old town he quickly found his life taking a turn for the worse. Not only did he lose a close friend, but he also lost his mate, his home, and his passion. His entire life was torn apart by sanguines before he could realize it, yet he didn’t let it stop him forever. The same way how he didn’t give in to the great Misery plague, and how he doesn’t give in when proving himself to his Digmaan and his newfound family.

    With many changes in the world, though, and the disappearance of Cro-Yaotl largely from the playing field, Lloxern has struck out on his own, carrying the honor of being of Yaotl though in truth fighting for the Allar and Regalia as a whole. He works to create a world of inspiration and light, hoping to be the source of stories for generations to come and to carry the stories of those whom he has lost and found along his journey.
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    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    #1 Lizehrd, Jun 9, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
  2. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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    My Review:
    • I request that you change his feather color to be yellow rather than gold, just because that color implies reflectiveness and a luster naturally occurring feathers don't have.
    • Life Story:
      • Where was he born?
      • There is only one School of Mariposa (in Daenshore as can be read here: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/School_of_Mariposa#School_Location), but you call it "a School", please correct this.
      • You need to spend ten years in a School to gain the skills it teaches and from what I read, he only spends 8 there. Please correct whichever area needs adjustment (wording of the Life Story or Proficiency Points as he cannot have earned the +10 in each Proficiency the School teaches).
      • You use "wilds" in quotation marks at the end of the Life Story but I would think some expansion or better explanation would be better. Is this house outside of the city walls? Does he count the urban environment as a new set of "wilds" to explore?
    Please tag me once the edits have been done in green @Juan_Plays
     
  3. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    @HydraLana

    I had made the corrections - sorry about some of the things not being clear enough. Also, I guess I’m just raised in a different place, but people around me always use the term “Gold” to describe a Yellow-Orange color. That being said, I made the changes happily, and I thank you for your feedback.
     
  4. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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    Please make the corrections I requested and only tag me once all Review edits have been completed @Juan_Plays.
     
  5. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    Shoot, missed that, thanks, and sorry!

    @HydraLana
     
  6. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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  7. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    @HydraLana Redid the stats for the character, and spruced up the backstory.
     
  8. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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  9. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    Changed a lot of the backstory, update proficiencies and updated the format as such.
     
  10. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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    Re-Approved.
     
  11. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    Bump for proficiency update!
     
  12. studsonsc

    studsonsc the only son.

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    Hey there! It looks great, very nice application! Approved.
     
  13. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    At long last I’ve finally gotten around to updating the lad. His backstory might be a bit archaic/dated, but I don’t think I saw anything vastly wrong with it? Regardless, hopefully everything is in order!
     
  14. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Hi, I’ll be picking this up for review. Expect one shortly.
     
  15. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Basic Information
    • This is fine
    Skill Information
    • This is fine
    Visual Information
    • Max height for Maz-Allar is 6’0”
    Personality
    • This is fine
    Life Story
    • This is fine
    Mark your change in GREEN and tag me when you are done.
    @Lizehrd
     
  16. Lizehrd

    Lizehrd Lizard and Chill

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    There, made the changes! Sorry, forgot to check the updated heights of the Allar.
     
  17. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

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