Preserved Sheet Leon Deceres

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Scribbe

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Leon Deceres


Basic Information
  • Full Name: Leon Deceres.
    • Nicknames: Lillon, Lemon, Lemon-boy.
  • Age: 21.
  • Gender: Male.
  • Race: Half-Ailor, half-Avanthar.
  • Main Ambition: Leon wants to be recognised outside of his father's shadow, in any form. His main hopes lie in at least distinguishing himself as a Bloodcast Knight.

Skill Information

  • School: Bloodcast.
  • Level: Warrior.
  • Source: Trained at the Casting Crucible in Regalia.

Visual Information

  • Eye Color: Bright blue.
  • Hair Color: Jet black.
  • Hairstyle: Swept back, with some falling to his forehead.
    • Facial Hair: Leon keeps his facial hair little longer than stubble.
  • Skin Color: Pale.
  • Clothing: Mostly red and black fabrics, with some dark leathers.
  • Height: 6 feet, 0 inches.
  • Body Build: Muscular.
  • Weapon of Choice: Longsword and heater shield.

Personality and Abilities

  • External: Leon, at first meeting, is a warm and friendly character. Leon is very laid back, willing to at least converse with most people, regardless of their appearance or beliefs. However, Leon does have an aversion to obvious mages or mutants, as well as races like Slizzar and Url, and often tries his best to at least offload the conversation onto someone else.
  • Internal: Up until recently, Leon had been very happy with himself, and confident that he could at least surpass his father. However, with the advent of Nathan being ascended into the spotlight, Leon has suddenly become very uncomfortable with the expectations and standards he must hold himself up to. He is relatively comfortable with his skill in arms and fighting, though worries that he may not stand up to the perceived prowess of his father.
  • Close Ones: Leon is fiercely defensive of his family, and takes great offence to those who would insult those related to him by blood. Especially in the case of his sisters, Leon sees an insult to them as an insult to his family as a whole, and reacts in a fitting manner. His friends don't see nearly as much protection from him, mostly because Leon prefers to allow those he values but doesn't hold absolutely dearest to fix their own problems without his intervention. Only in the worst situations will he step in.
  • Morality: Leon's morality fits that of his training as a Bloodcast; he follows what he perceives to be the greatest good, even if what he perceives to be the greatest good is in a state of constant flux. He has no stance on the corruption of others, believing that how they use that corruption is more important than how corrupt they actually are.
Talents
  • Team-focused: Leon works very well as a member of a unit, and is very much willing to put the objectives and desires of the collective over the objectives and desires of himself. He finds it incredibly easy to follow orders, and functions much easier to fight as a member of a group than he would on his own, assisting his comrades on the battlefield or working off another warrior to bring down a foe.

Life Story


Childhood
  • Leon Deceres is born on the night of the 3rd of November, 282AC, the twin brother of Araidith Deceres, and the son of Madeleine Amalao and Alraesonynn Deceres.
  • Leon and his twin sister are left with their father for most of their childhood, forming a strong bond with him.
  • He doesn't take the same interest in sewing as his sister did, instead becoming inspired by the tales of knights and warriors told to him as bedtime stories by his mercenary father.
  • Somewhere in this period, he is labelled "Lillon", meaning 'lemon' in Modern Elven, for his sour attitude.
  • Constantly pestering his father, Alraesonynn only gives in and allows him to join the Bloodcast Casting Crucible when he comes of age.
Teenage Years
  • From the age of eight to the age of thirteen, Leon is given a basic education, taught how to read, write, and perform basic mathematics, paid for with the money of Erfaron Draylas.
  • Aged 14, Leon is admitted to the Casting Crucible for training as a Bloodcast Knight. He is ecstatic.
  • Leon remains under the tutelage of the Bloodcast Knights in the Crucible until he reaches the age of twenty, learning how to use a sword and shield, wear armour, look after himself in the wilderness, and earning various life lessons. He graduates at Warrior-level, and is given his crimson Bloodcast cape.
Adulthood
  • Leon, now a full-fledged Bloodcast Knight, begins his career as a warrior, and takes various tips from his father about how he should maneuver himself now. He takes these to heart, but does not yet actually go to war.
  • Aged 21, Leon's father becomes Knight-Consort to Emperor Cedromar I. Leon is shocked, though sees the opportunity to advance himself in the world of the Imperial Court, and prepares himself for progress.
 
Last edited:
Peer Review!
  • How can your character be three halves of something? Having three interbreeds will often result in one of them is insignificant. It would be better for you to remove elven and keep it at half-Avanthar and half-Ailor.
  • You need to add "Bloodcast Warrior" as a talent; it is, in fact, a talent
  • You should replace 6 feet, 0 inches with just him being 6 feet; just my personal preference.
  • On your first paragraph on personality and abilities, you say he is a warm and friendly person, after that, you say he isn't a welcoming person, this sounds a bit like a contradiction.
That's my small tiny peer review!
 
 
Specify where? I don't see anywhere that I actually do contradict myself.
warm and friendly character. Although not particularly welcoming

This is only necessary for Champion-level permissions.
Why is this? So a person who has been learning some sort of combat school for five years has no talent? Wouldn't they consider their training as a talent? Wouldn't five years of learning over something won't be considered a talent? A combat school is what makes a person unique and not some average commoner. You receive a type of skill from being in bloodcast for five years; it should be considered a talent.

That's pretty much saying a person with no combat knowledge (Talent) can beat a person who has been learning a combat school for five years.

It says nowhere that he's three halves of a race; it's specifying the races that make him up as a half-Elf.
I thought you meant by being a half of Altalar.
 
My Review:
  • I would ask for the sake of clarity you remove the term "Half Elven" because you then go on to repeat the same information in the same line thus making it unnecessary.
Leon, at first meeting, is a warm and friendly character. Although not particularly welcoming, Leon is very laid back, willing to at least converse with most people, regardless of their appearance or beliefs.
  • If he is a warm and friendly character at first meeting, how is he simultaneously not welcoming? The two clash without further explanation, please provide it.
  • The character of "Erfaron Draylas" would not have been able to provide the money for this character's education. The character is no longer considered compliant due to not being updated in 7 months and has many areas that clash/do not make logistical sense. I request that you vaguify where the money came from.
Tag me when the edits are completed in green @Scribbe
 
@HydraLana

All edits completed except this one:
The character of "Erfaron Draylas" would not have been able to provide the money for this character's education. The character is no longer considered compliant due to not being updated in 7 months and has many areas that clash/do not make logistical sense. I request that you vaguify where the money came from.

I dispute it for three reasons:
  1. Various gangs in present are capable of procuring enough wealth that it is measured in bales. I don't see why a career criminal with an elongated lifespan like Erfaron wouldn't be able to generate enough money to at least pay for the basic education of one child for five years.
  2. Basic education is, in itself, inexpensive. Places like Lady Black's Almshouse offer basic education for children for free, proving this. The application specifies that Leon was taught literacy and basic mathematics for five years, two very simple subjects. I'm doubtful these would cost much at all.
  3. By proclaiming Erfaron Draylas to no longer be a compliant character, in spite of his approved character application, not only is part of Leon's backstory invalidated, but the entire backstories of other characters like Shiori and Mae Draylas are invalidated. Further, there is no precedent for older applications being made incompliant due to stretches of lack of updating.
 
@HydraLana

All edits completed except this one:


I dispute it for three reasons:
  1. Various gangs in present are capable of procuring enough wealth that it is measured in bales. I don't see why a career criminal with an elongated lifespan like Erfaron wouldn't be able to generate enough money to at least pay for the basic education of one child for five years.
  2. Basic education is, in itself, inexpensive. Places like Lady Black's Almshouse offer basic education for children for free, proving this. The application specifies that Leon was taught literacy and basic mathematics for five years, two very simple subjects. I'm doubtful these would cost much at all.
  3. By proclaiming Erfaron Draylas to no longer be a compliant character, in spite of his approved character application, not only is part of Leon's backstory invalidated, but the entire backstories of other characters like Shiori and Mae Draylas are invalidated. Further, there is no precedent for older applications being made incompliant due to stretches of lack of updating.
Let me rephrase then: The character possessing the funds is not feasible given that they were a Shendar Vampire Magic user who would have struggled for money.

As you say yourself, education can be free if offered by certain charitable organizations. Will it kill this application to remove the mention of a single, unplayed character in exchange for that or for a simple unnamed friend to his father?
 
The character possessing the funds is not feasible given that they were a Shendar Vampire Magic user who would have struggled for money.
Gangs in the crime system have income that is recorded in bales. This immediately shows crime is lucrative, and Erfaron was a career criminal. I don't see why it's at all unfeasible for him to have the money for the most basic education. Further, Erfaron went through multiple gangs and crime organisations in character, as well as working with noble families. I don't see at all why literacy and basic maths would be too much for a man whose life and income was based on various lucrative sources of income.

Will it kill this application to remove the mention of a single, unplayed character in exchange for that or for a simple unnamed friend to his father?
Yes. The majority of Leon's close relations and friendships exist because of how Erfaron has interacted with the backstories of each of those characters. His entire dynamic with a whole group of characters is dependent on how his history was affected by Erfaron Draylas.
 
Rejected due to internal discussion.