Preserved Sheet Lahalae Gael’cio

This sheet was missing a prefix or has not been edited for a long period of time. Please create a ticket including a linkif your sheet was moved in error.
FizzyDrinks

FizzyDrinks

Beggar
Joined
Jan 27, 2020
Messages
1
Reaction score
20
Points
0
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
G23SIMI.png

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Pictures|Theme
━━━━━━❀━━━━━━
qpXe0Db.png

━━━━━━❀━━━━━━​
»Name: Lahalae
›Full Name: Lahalae Gael'cio
›Nickname: Alae
​
»Age: 63
›Birthday: September 19th
›Zodiac Sign: Virgo
​
»Gender: Agender
›Pronouns: She/Her or They/Them
​
»Race: Yanar
›Ovulation: Ailor, Ceilothar, Qdir, Kathar
​
»Sexuality: Pansexaul

»Preferred Weapon: Stave with pointy bits on the ends
━━━━━━❀━━━━━━
7SCnwyL.png

━━━━━━❀━━━━━━​
»Proficiency [ 60 Total ]
›5 Polearm Combat
›5 Throwing Combat
›10 Linguistic Knowledge
›6 Medical Sciences
›8 Musical Arts (Hobby)
›20 Alchemy Sciences
›8 Stealth Rogue
›8 Sorcery
Lightness, Light's Sustenance
Lightness, Healing Grace
​
»Sanguine
›Zikiel Bloodline
›Mutations:Haunting Frostwall,Mythic Transformation,Haunting Sorcery, Haunting Deflecting

​

»Body Shape
›Physical Stat: 35
›Body Shape: Muscular
›Body Fat: Low Body Fat​

»Languages
›Common
› Plains Elven (Mother)
› Modern Altalar (Mother)
› Faraddi
› Wa'an​
━━━━━━❀━━━━━━
8BCp0Sg.png

━━━━━━❀━━━━━━​
»Eye Color: Brown

»Hair Color: Light Green with many flowers

»Hair Style: Well kept pulled back in a bun

»Skin Color: Minty Green

»Clothing: Robe/Explorer Style

»Height: 5'9
━━━━━━❀━━━━━━
Z0oQCzE.png

━━━━━━❀━━━━━━​
»Character Alignment
›Neutral Good​
»Personality Type
›Mediator​
»Religion(s)
›5/10 Dragon Dogma
›3/10 Fated Ones​
»Weaknesses
›Fire scares the living hell out of her, she will cry when near a mass of fire.
​
»Quirks
›Tends to be more isolated unless performing or with family.
›When nervous taps foot like music is playing, works to a beat to calm self
​
»Skills
›Singing
›Plant Knowlege
​
»Likes
›Loves honey and lavender tea like an addiction
›Likes to pet Fluff's moss and make her do tricks
›Loves to spend time with her Mother (Her Mother is her best friend)
​
»Dislikes
›Hates dogs! Wolves are cool though.
›Loud people bug her
›Tight spaces

​
━━━━━━❀━━━━━━
0k08XCM.png

━━━━━━❀━━━━━━​
»Part Ⅰ
Alae was born by her mother Flo on the rich outskirts of Catalon Daen, with a pair of Celiothar Lavender Farmers. They acted as her mother's parents and effectively her grandparents! During her time of maturing her mother and grandparents took very good care of her, feeding her properly and teaching her how to read, write, and speak full Plains Elven and Common as well. Her guardians taught her of the world around her, the plants, the animals, and the people that filled it.
​
»Part Ⅱ
When going to school became an option Alae opted out of it choosing to directly learn from her mother and grandparents. Here she learned how to tend to land from her grandparents, and from her mother she learned the basics of healing magic, soon to master it. She learned fairly quick; aspiring for adventure minus the people, she was an odd sprout, very introverted when it came to thinking but extroverted when it came to performing! Oh how she loved to sing and being blessed with fine vocals helped this passion greatly!
Her mother taught her of her people, the Yanar. She told of how they where plant based matter, able to with time change looks and abilities. This truly inspired Alae and soon she settled on being 5'9, a muscular but lean body, and long well kept hair. Like a wildflower she blossomed learning with ease of what she chose.
​
»Part Ⅲ
Alae dreamed of traveling the world and learning it's secrets, all of which drove her further into research and sometimes self isolation. Leaving her completely alone for months and having not really made friends when she was younger, struggled with social skills. Longing for a friend. So she began to take an interest in the art of magic and what it offered being drawn by the arcane and nature based forms it took, as well as creating a friend. By now she had been taught how to heal wounds, what else could she do! Alae told her mother of her dreams and though she was hesitant at first her mother agreed to let her go after she had been properly trained in the use of a Stave. She spent a few years learning to use the long form of weapon growing impatient as the days went by, she never did finish her training but came close to mastery of Polearms. Once she thought herself ready Alae promised to return and stay by her mother's side once she had finished gathering everything she could find.
​
»Part Ⅳ
She began her journey in learning, she traveled into one of the many jungles of Daen finding a large branch with some form of pink crystal wrapped and hoisted at its top like a beacon. She spent some time shaping this tool into a Stave like weapon as well as a walking stick thanking her mother in the back of her mind for giving her the skill.​

Her travel kept on, soon reaching Ithanian where she meets an odd fellow capable of arcane magic, of which he knew only one spell; Wood Singing. She asked to be put to training to hone and master this odd but useful skill where he agreed on one term, she never was to harm another unless attacked. She was following this virtue already choosing to never be lethal until truly necessary for survival. ​

»Part Ⅴ
After traveling for many long years, she returned to the lavender farm back home to only find it destroyed by fires. No one was there, thinking everyone had died to fires would haunt her sleep for the rest of her life. Not really knowing what to do from there, she traveled to the nearest town and stayed with a family for a couple years as she processed her mother and grandparents not being alive. Later sucking it up and deciding to yet again, travel. This time though, her first stop was Regalia.
​
1/27/20
App posted
App under review

1/28/20
I Deleted Inventory Info
Changed Planes Elven to Plains Elven
Put my Basic Info Expansion in a Spoiler
Added 2 life story changes
I also got some help formatting, so you should be able to read it now

1/29/20
App approved
 
Last edited:
Here's my review:
  • Delete "Name" and just leave the "Full Name" bullet point under Basic Info.
  • Since your Inventory Info section is blank, delete it for now or put it under a Spoiler.
  • Change "Planes Elven" to "Plains Elven."
  • Put the Basic Info Expansion under a Spoiler.
  • Your Life Story is a little bland in the sense that there aren't really any sort of experiences or events that leave a negative impression on the character, otherwise making it a Mary-Sue. Add two of these experiences that would affect the character for the long run.
  • Lastly, please add some space between sections and bold the section titles as to differentiate what-is-what. It's hard to distinguish what information belongs where currently.
Make your edits in red and give me a tag in a reply when you're done. @FizzyDrinks
 
Hey! Thanks for the feedback, I'm getting used to this whole forum thing.

I Deleted Inventory Info
Changed Planes Elven to Plains Elven
Put my Basic Info Expansion in a Spoiler
Added 2 life story changes
I also got some help formatting, so you should be able to read it now! yay

All changes are in red
@MantaRey
 
@MantaRey I have made changes under the Abilities tag from being infected by a Vampire and doing the time. Needing Re-Approval. Thank you!
 
Please cut and paste any and all Sanguine-related abilities and details under Skill Info. You can place this under the Special Traits/Mutations/Etc sub-section. @FizzyDrinks
 
After some deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that this character should withhold from having Vampiric mutations/abilities for the time being. There have been too many accounts of OOC lying about abilities and using said-abilities before the app was approved. This does not just include the Vampirism. So for my review, I would say remove the mutations for now. Your character can remain a Vampire without them. If you believe your conduct improves within the next two to four weeks, feel free to PM me. @FizzyDrinks
 
I was waiting out the time like you told me to, it's ok however might kill her off. Idk.
 
If you read the last comment, there were some edits you needed to do. You were not told to wait this out as a part of the review. You needed to remove mutations from the app. If and when your conduct improved considerably, then we could consider adding them back in. In the future, please be sure to double check any and all points of review to make sure you are not missing anything.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom