Rejected Sheet Kinteh Rehkiirn

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by JinxNotJinxed, Aug 22, 2020.

  1. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    Kinteh Rehkiirn
    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Character Information[​IMG]
    • Full Name: Kinteh Ravat’lahab Rehkiirn Dar-Rana Raz-Easifuh
      • A.k.a Kinteh Rehkiirn
    • Race: Kathar - Cult of the Wyld
    • Age: 25
    • Sex: Female
    • Pronouns: She/Her
    • Sexuality: Yes
    • Eye Color: Black with red flecks throughout (Crimson Witch)
    [​IMG] Core Concept[​IMG]
    • Once an avid follower of Nirualla, Kinteh found her life being turned upside down one major moment after another. Eventually she came to the conclusion that she’d never be able to stand on solid ground without first bettering herself, and she turned to the teachings of Odella.
    • At her center, Kinteh is a woman that deeply wants to make the world around her a better place. With newly opened eyes, she seeks to work towards this lofty goal one tiny step at a time, starting with learning as much as she possibly can about the world in which she lives.
    [​IMG] Proficiencies[​IMG]
    • 15 (Hobby+RB) Horticulture Art
    • 15 - Sorcery
    • 12 - Caster Ranged Combat
    • 12 - Alchemy
    • 8 - Stave Combat
    • 4 (Magic Dagger) Heavy Ranged Combat
    • 3 - Linguistics
    Physical Stat: 16 (7.5 horticulture + 8 stave = 15.5, rounded up)

    [​IMG] Ability Information[​IMG]
    • Crimson Witch Kit (11 Abilities)
    • Kathar Racials (14 Abilities + Specials)
      • Evolution of the Wyld
    • Void Sorcery:
      • Flux Shift 5
      • Darkness 3
      • Dark Curse 2
      • Element Control 2
      • Element Control 6
      • Elemental Brand 5 (Sorcery Skill 1)
    • Alchemy:
      • Common
      • Healing
      • Conning
      • Volatile
    • Caster:
      • Item: Book
    [​IMG] Languages[​IMG]
    • Common (Free)
    • Saan (Youth)
    • Katharic (Linguistics)
    [​IMG] Appearance Information[​IMG]

    Kinteh dedicates her body to the Wyld by covering herself in mutations that turn her into a creature of the night. She has massive bat ears and a bat-like nose, sharp teeth, short horns, and a slender, spaded tail that drags behind her. She has hooked claws like that of a bat’s, and patches of sleek fur that grow and shrink along her arms, legs, and chest to suit the weather.

    She’s fairly muscled for a Wyld Cultist, but still rather small by other races’ standards. Her hair is short and stark white, with the ends tipped with a bloody red. The red returns as bright flecks in her otherwise voidish black eyes. She has a purple and silver tattoo of a ferret on her collarbone, and a tattoo of the Kaahl Sarnai sigil behind her left ear. She stands at just 5 feet even.

    Nephineil Leodi - A simple Cielothar woman with no mutations. Her skin is tan and she has bright green eyes. Her hair is long, and dark brown with a slight wave texture. She does not have any tattoos. She stands at 5'8

    [​IMG] Life Story[​IMG]
    • Kinteh was born to a Cielothar mother and a Songaskian father. Though their relationship was soft and loving, Kin’s mother saw something in her child that filled her with concern. Before long, her mother decided that the child needed to be returned to the woods, and so, she left her to the trees.
    • She was discovered by a Yanar named Gladio. He decided to take the child in, raising her in his alchemy lab and teaching her all of the ways of the people of his Solur Garden.
    • When she became a fully realized adult, Kin decided she wanted to really set out and explore the world. She slowly made her way towards Regalia, thinking it to be a cultural center where she could learn many things all at once.
    • There, Kin’s eyes were opened wide. In just a short time, she was exposed to void worship and the practices of a certain up and coming Kathar kaahl. It wasn’t long before she both made the change from halfling to a fully formed Kathar.
    • After many ups and downs since her first day in Regalia, Kinteh resolved herself to the teachings of Odella.
    Progression Info
    Warrior 2, Alchemy 1

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
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    #1 JinxNotJinxed, Aug 22, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2022
  2. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Hello! I will be claiming this for staff review!
     
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  3. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Sofaal would be the secondary language of a Cielothar half breed.

    Songaskians do not live on Daendroc where the Cielothar are from. Clarify place of birth.

    Pagan Priests do not really exist in Daendroc, or are a minority there.

    I would recommend reading through some of the racial and geographical lore when writing the backstory and incorporate proficiency which have very little mention. Tag me and highlight edits when you are done.
     
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  4. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Caelamus Hello~! I did a bunch of rewriting to the areas in red after reading your review and the reviews of a few non staff members. I was told to round up the physical stat so it changed from 17.5 to 18. I edited a few answers in the personality section to give a more clear view of what she feels and how she reacts to things. I then finally fully re-wrote her back story to better include details about her location, family, and the culture surrounding them, as well as a (hopefully!) better bit about her mutations. Thank you!

    Forgot to mention I removed the modern altalar bit. After re reading the yanar and cielothar sections, the yanar she would have been around would have spoken plains elven
     
  5. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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  6. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Caelamus Hi Hi! Given the Kathar update, I've made changes to reflect things that effected her character. I was also hoping I could get a thread clean up for the above comments. Thanks in advance!
     
  7. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Approved. Also thread cleaned.
     
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    #7 Caelamus, Jan 4, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2021
  8. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Caelamus I am so sorry. Another update to her profs. Thank you for your time. This should be the last, I've just had the hardest time trying not to be useless.
     
  9. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Approved.
     
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  10. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Caelamus Hi! With the recent sorcery change I needed to make a couple of small edits to her abilities. Seeing as there is also a ritualism update coming, rather than have to change again soon I decided to switch her to full sorcery, and moved profs around to reflect the changes. Edits are in red! (If possible, could I please get a thread clean up too? Thank you in advance!)
     
  11. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Approved. And no, there's nothing really to clean beyond recent reviews. Those need to stay.
     
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  12. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Caelamus Hello! Updated to fit the new format, and changed anything that had been written out of lore/heavily modified. (So a lot lol)
     
  13. Bellorie

    Bellorie scale enthusiast

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    KINTEH
     
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  14. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-approved.
     
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  15. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Acosmism Updated the sheet to reflect a mutation change! Only her eyes. Monster truth to exist ocular for the sake of having silver instead of black.
     
  16. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-approved!
     
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  17. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Acosmism Hiya! Profs, abilities and appearance has been updated to reflect an ic change to crimson witch. Life story has been modified to better fit current cielothar and songaski lore.
     
  18. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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  19. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Acosmism Sorry for a tag the day after! I swapped 3 cooking points for healing alchemy.
     
  20. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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  21. JinxNotJinxed

    JinxNotJinxed Crime Goblin Supremium

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    @Acosmism My timing is abysmal! Changed to fit the Kathar update.
     
  22. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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