Preserved Sheet Kendrik Dunahal

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ArmegeddonCraft

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  • Basic Information (Required)
  • Full Name: Kendrik Avin Dunahal
  • Age: 21
  • Gender: male
  • Race: half Ailor, half Avanthar
  • Main Ambition: his only goal is to gain power and respect. Whether that's for himself, or for all half-breeds remains to be seen.
Visual Information (Required)
  • Eye Color: dark brown
  • Hair Color: black
  • Hair Style: plain
  • Skin Color: slightly tan
  • Clothing: kendrik fights like a knight. That also means he dresses like a knight. While armor is expensive, kendrik has managed to afford a decent amount. His chest piece is a chain hauberk. The bottom of the hauberk extends two inches blow his waist, and the sleeves extend three inches past his elbow. His arms forearms are covered by leather gauntlets, with bits of metal on the glove portion. The metal on the glove comes in two forms. Small iron plates that cover the backs of his hands, and iron studs on each of his knuckles. On his shoulders he wears studded leather pauldrons. His neck, and a small portion of his chest, are covered by a peice of plate armor. The armor piece protects his collar bones, and it has a sort of metal collar that protects just under half his neck. His legs are protected by studded leather, and his boots are sturdy leather, with iron plated toes and heels, and treaded iron soles. He also wears a tabbard the color scheme of which is black and red, like his own armor. The front features the insignia of the twighlight order, and the back features a smaller version if the same symbol. while on the surface, he wears what any normal citizen would wear. Clothes. Theres nothing particularly interesting about them. Just some canvas pants, leather boots, a white shirt, and a warm red cloak in case it gets cold.
  • Height: 6 5' six feet and five inches tall.
  • Weight: 190 pounds
  • Body Build: Muscular
  • Weapon of Choice: a longsword, which, unbeknownst to kendrik, is possessed, and two twin short swords, suitable foe single wielding or duel wielding, should the need arise. he's also adopted the use of a shield, as his armor is too heavy for him to dodge as effectively once fatigue sets in.
Visual information (expansion)

  • Kendriks eyes are what most would consider upturned. They're a a deep mahogany brown, and are about two inches away from each other. The left one has a small scar running right beside it, from an accident in the wheat fields, from when he was a field worker. His ears are slightly pointed, due to his status as a half elf. Most would either mistake these for the ears of an ailor or the ears of a nelfin (this should not be considered power gaming, as these are the two reactions I've come across while rping.) his lips are thin, and his mouth is nothing special. It's only defining feature is its scar. The scar was no accident, nor was it self inflicted. After losing a fight to a corruption mage (it was only because her sister interfered) a gruesome smile was carved into his face. The scar tissue is rough, and slightly sparatic, but it's very clearly meant to be a smile.other than that, it's always downturned into a slight frown. His eyebrows are dark, and his entire face is almost always twisted into a slight scowl, as if he's always ticked off. His hair is raven black, and it always covers the tips of his ears.
  • kendrik's muscles are a bit beyond defined, but definitely not bulging. His skin has a slight tan hue to it, definitely not pale, but certainly not dark either.
  • Kendrik's choice of clothing is plain, at best. Theres nothing particularly interesting about them. Just some canvas pants, Which are black, leather boots, which are brown, a white shirt, which has turned into more of an "off-white" from dirt and wear. If it gets cold, he dons a warm red cloak, which is blood red, as opposed to crimson or burgundy. His only accessories are his two rings. Ring number one is a simple black band, made from tungsten. It's his engagement ring. Ring number two is a iron band, and is his wedding ring. These rings are never on him in any sense of the phrase when in the sewers. He almost always carries his longsword (a "true bastard sword" by modern terminology) with him. It's quite plain, with a teardrop shaped pommel, and a standard blade, cross guard, and handle. The blade itself is steel, and a fairly decent quality. Despite being so plain, Kendrik refers to it as the most beautiful sword he's ever seen. He always carries a pair of short swords, which he's used on multiple occasions, in multiple ways. The swords themselves are, once again, nothing special. His longsword rests on his left hip, as he's left handed, and his swords both rest on his right hip, so he can crossdraw one, and draw he other with a reverse grip. He always carries a heater shield around, which is black and red, patterned after his tabard. For the most part, his personal style choices aren't that impressive. This's changed when it comes to his armor, which is in the main description.
  • Kendrik always sounds slightly ticked off, unless he's speaking to a close friend, or his wife and child. His voice has a certain smoothness to it that generally adds to the seriousness of his usual angry tone. He's fluent in both Common Tongue, and Modern Elven

Personality and Abilities (Required)


Personality Traits
  • paragraph one- to most people, Kendrik would appear to be cocky and violent, with little regard for others. When it comes to his cockiness, someone may notice how he speaks about himself in the most positive light, only talking about his flaws and personal tragedies to humanize himself, and thus make him more appealing. He'll hardly ever speak about losing a fight, preferring instead to make himself seem invulnerable. His favorite feats to talk about are his defeat of a fire mage with nothing but his sword and shield, his amazing survivabilty, and the time he killed a man twice, once as an undead, and once as a regular mortal. His violent nature can be seen anytime he intentionally starts a fight, such as when he insulted a woman and her wife, just so that he could have an excuse to fight her, without seeming like a monster. He'll constantly attack the same person over and over, until he beats them. His cocky nature will then take over, and he'll boast about his victory over them.
  • Paragraph two- Kendriks Mind is a place of constant emotional conflict. His two natures (the nature of the possessed sword, and his protective, honorable nature) are at war with each other constantly. To most, it seems at though the Sword is winning, but Kendrik himself knows that he has won the most important battle. Despite his constant emotional turmoil his family is safe from his wrathful nature (something well touch on more later.) he constantly feels like he's spirally out of control, but when he unsheathes his sword, he forgets his fear of losing control, despite the fact that his fear is realized the moment he draws his blade. When he manages to fully break from the influence of the Sword, he'll mention something about "the voice" that compels him to commit these heinous acts. Despite the fact that this appears to make him seem crazy, he's still quite sane, and even emotionally stable, although the emotion that's stable is usually rage.
  • Paragraph Three- To his family and close friends, Kendrik would appear to be a completey different person than he would to a stranger. Instead of the violent, cocky man who refuses to admit any fault, Kendrik would appear to be a kind, loving, and protective, man, traits you'd expect from a young man who's both a husband and a father like Kendrik. He treats his family and friends with the utmost of kindness, putting them far above himself. If his family or friends are threatened, one might see his protective side or out. This side of Kendrik is without a doubt his most terrifying. Anyone who pay close enough attention would see both of Kendriks natures come out, creating a terrifying mix of father, husband, and violent psychopath. If his family is in danger, all morality and regard for life goes out the window. He'll kill, steal, main, and kidnap to protect those he cares about, such as when he went as far as to drug a member of the usque to use as a bartering chip in hopes of freeing his groups leader. He was ultimately shut down by his own group, which was the first step in the path to the fallout between him and his group.
  • Paragraph four- When it comes to morality, Kendrik has plenty of opinions. One should never hurt women or children, one should never steal, and one should never permanently disfigure another. Typically, he sticks to this set of morals, but under certain circumstances (like the ones mentioned in the previous paragraph), Kendrik will abandon all morals to achieve his goal. He doesn't mind backstabbing, murdering, disfiguring, or other unpleasantness if someone he loves and cares for is in danger. Despite all of the unfortunate inconsistencies in his nature and morals, due to the effects of the possedessed sword there is one moral he'll never abandon no matter what. He will never cheat on his lover. It doesn't matter what he's offered or what he has to do. He will never betray his wife in such a way.


Talents
  • skilled with his weapons of choice-kendrik is skilled with his weapons, his short swords, and Longsword. he can create dangerous wounds with his short swords or cause fatal wounds with his long sword. his long sword seems to be his favorite weapon. it was found in the sewers canals, stabbed through a corpses chest. he immediately climbed down to collect it, and has replaced his kophesh with it.
  • charismatic- if one of his weapons don't get you, then his allies will. Kendrik is charming and charismatic. he's convinced person after person to join him and his cause. his charisma is why he's' so confident in his abilities to gain respect. he's decided that if he can convince people to join his cause, he con convince people to support it.
  • intelligent- Kendrik is well versed in two languages, Elvish and common tongue. he's also as literate as they come, and a decent strategist. he's written several instructional books on the basics of poison and medicine, but has never gotten them published.
  • overly witty and blunt-Kendrik has always had a sharp tongue. this unfortunately gets him into trouble. a lot. he's been beaten, threatened, and almost killed over a few words he's said. his relationships have also been stressed, right up to the breaking point, because he said something insensitive. in spite of all this, Kendrik's tongue only grows sharper, likely due to the fact that his sarcasm is his only defense against bad memories.
  • Fatigue: this is one of Kendriks biggest issues. Armor doesn't tend to limit your speed, once you've trained in it for long enough. While Kendrik is still surprisingly fast, his stamina is severely limited. Carrying so much weight with you can cause you to grow tired quickly. While out of combat, it's quite the inconvenience, as he's constantly required to stop and rest to catch his breath. In combat, however, it's not only inconvenient, it's also dangerous. A large scale battle is to be avoided. Should a fight exceed ten minutes, he'll grow tired and slow, and become unable to keep up with attacks from less armored enemies.

Personality and Abilities (Expansion)
  • cook-unknown to many people, Kendrik is a fantastic cook. his mothers recipe book sits in a place of honor above his oven. he's created his own recipes, and even made money off of them. however, he usually stays in his house reading or writing, or in the sewers, fighting to quench his thirst for violence.
  • medically adept-luckily for many wounded people, kendrik is skilled when it comes to medicine. hes been able to properly disinfect and close wounds, like his own wound down his side. although he cant prevent larger wounds from scarring, he can prevent them from killing. he jokingly calls himself the one man hospital
Life Story (Required)
Kendrik Dunahal has had a pretty tragic life. you see, his mother wanted a child. his dad, on the other hand, didn't. so his mother did what any reasonable person would do- she cheated. as a result, kendrik was born illegitimate half breed, as the man his mother cheated with was a Avanthar. it wasn't all bad though. kendriks dad treated him as his own son, and kendrik did love his family. kendrik grew up on a farm, both his parents were employees on that farm. however, a group of vampire revolutionists burned it down as it was owned by a noble. kendrik was brought to safety, but his family never made it out. this included his baby brother, whose screams and cries still haunt Kendrik to this day, and his lover, Erin.

a year went by, and kendrik had completed his training with the man who saved him. the man trained him with the only thing resembling a weapon on the burnt down husk of a farm, (that kendrik had purchased and was rebuilding) a scythe. Kendrik, as a field worker, knew the weight and reach of the scythe. this man taught Kendrik advanced combat, how to make and Identify poisons, and how to treat wounds and illnesses. he utilized this training by killing the group of vampires that burned his home down. after nearly dying, but emerging victorious, kendrik moved to regalia, after the farm was rebuilt and money was bring made off of it. unfortunately, his life got more complicated. he me a girl who was turning, and helped her through it, falling for her in the process. he eventually made her his girlfriend, only for her to leave a day later and lose all her memories of him. her mother, who was completely nuts, used her dying breath to place a bounty on his head, but he didn't find that out until recently. he met another girl,(a few weeks before that) who got kidnapped by a group of vampire shendar that are targeting him for reasons he doesn't know. this was told to him by a girl whom he fell for, after she fell for him, and loved for about a week. until she disappeared. he held on to the hope that she might come back, but he gave up after he met Kanin Forestyne. he currently is building a relationship with her, and has recently proposed. he is now married, and has a son by the name of avin

because of his previous losses, Kendrik strives to gain enough power to prevent further loses. he currently aims to get half breeds more respect. he plans on doing this by first gaining respect for himself. his current methods of gaining respect include killing a serial killer. once he gains respect and power, he plans to make sure everyone gets the rights and respect they need, then, once everyone knows and respects him, he plans on taking over regalia. he was formerly a part of the creed of dusk, and acted as the leaders personal body guard. after being kicked out of that group, he has harbored extreme feelings of resentment towards them. He has sworn to take them down, no matter what it takes. Kendriks methods and plans to accomplish these goals are mostly long term. To acquire respect and power, he seems to join larger groups. He's currently working on a contract with the Twilight Order, and, after they've fulfilled their purpose, he will attempt to join the guards, since they have the best armor and weaponry. Once power and respect has been obtained, he'll use whatever influence he has to arrest and detain the Creeds members, and, if the opportunity is presented, kill them.


Shortly after joining the Twilight order, Kendrik disappeared. This didn't change when the order disbanded. Any investigator would find that his disappearance wasn't the result of any kidnapping or malicious act. The connection between the twilight order and his disappearance is undeniable. When asked about him, all former members would say that they were asked to stay quiet by Kendrik himself. His whereabouts are unknown, and why he left is still a mystery.

March fifth, 306 AC: after being gone for more than a year, Kendrik returned to the city of Regalia. A stronger, more capable swordsman (in fact, most would call him a master) and far more in control of himself. The reason behind his disappearance is still unknown.
 
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Dropping a review!
Lovely work so far on this character sheet - Kendrik has a lot of wonderful potential in the roleplay scene! I'm looking forward to see him around amidst the other players! Here's what I can provide for you in regards to edits:
  • Basic information. How does he plan on gaining power and respect, especially for himself and other halfbreeds? What steps/actions is he willing or wanting to take in order to try and accomplish this? Expand briefly on this idea with a sentence or two.
  • Visual information. Kendrik seems rather tall for a Half-ITalar, Half-Ailor character; I suggest keeping him in the six-foot range. I also noticed you didn't seem to complete your Clothing bullet point. Does he wear something different on the surface compared to the sewers? If so, give a brief description there along with the sewer clothing.
  • Weapons. Why/How does he have so many weapons and tools to his availability? Also, the short swords and khopesh would especially not be allowed out in public, since Regalian Law says that all weapons carried are to be concealed - hardly ever used, as well.
  • Personality traits. Very good detail written out for this section -- well done! My first bit of advice is to focus on one big idea for the first bullet point. Is he more Sympathetic for people? Perhaps Compassionate? Next, I'd then recommend switching the wording for "Anger" to something like "Hot-Headed" so it can capture his short tempered-ness more effectively. Another thing to point out is the "Adamant" point; is this being described as a positive or negative? If this is more to revolve around a positive look for Kendrik, perhaps you could explain how he's Strong-Willed for the sake of doing good for himself or others. Go ahead and pick either "Chivalric" or "Honoring" for this point. Lastly, go in a bit more detail on how he acts cocky. Does he hold himself in a different way when he transitions into this behavior? Or does he try to verbally insult and prod at the opposing person?
  • Trait issue - bringing up for notice. Instability is typically not encouraged for characters, since it's almost never properly portrayed. I believe that Kendrik can have lots of development as a character without this Personality Trait. In its stead, I'd recommend changing it to something that focuses perhaps on a Loner mentality, or that he's prone to being Moody.
  • Strengths. Okay, the biggest issue I see here in this section is that Kendrik seems to know a lot of diverse, varying styles of defense and combat; he knows how to wield short-swords, a khopesh, knives, use poisons, and has medical knowledge. Pick one fashion that he excels in, otherwise there's no room for actual weaknesses with his character. It also leads to a lot of questions: When did he learn to work with poisons and medicine? How did he learn to lace knives with poison? Mind, laced knives are not usually very strong or effective in the poisoning department. For this section, focus on these three main points: a combatant, mental, and physical/social strength. You've covered a good combat strength with detailed sentences!
  • Weaknesses. Go ahead and change "Too Sharp a Tongue" to something like "Painfully Blunt" to describe how his words can ruin his relationships or put him in a funk. Despite the danger it's put him in, is this a long-time habit he has a hard time improving? Try and expand on that thought with a detailed sentence or two. In regards to his fear of fire, how does he act/how does his behavior alter when he sees larger bodies of fire? Expand also on this with a few more detailed sentences. Finally for this section, his last Weakness seems like a cop-out. Try discussing if he's weaker in terms of defensive or offensive fighting. If he were in a pinch and had to be in either defensive/offensive, how does this affect his overall fighting style or choices?
  • Life story. Good basis here so far, I think you have a very strong base idea for Kendrik. Give another paragraph discussing his training with this unnamed man, maybe go into a bit of depth as to where he got his motivation to try and gain power and respect for himself and other halfbreeds.
Very good work here! Feel free to send me a PM or directly reply to this thread if you have any questions in regards to the review. And lastly, tag me when you've finished up making the edits; make all changes in a different color! @ArmegeddonCraft
 
Dropping a review!
Lovely work so far on this character sheet - Kendrik has a lot of wonderful potential in the roleplay scene! I'm looking forward to see him around amidst the other players! Here's what I can provide for you in regards to edits:
  • Basic information. How does he plan on gaining power and respect, especially for himself and other halfbreeds? What steps/actions is he willing or wanting to take in order to try and accomplish this? Expand briefly on this idea with a sentence or two.
Very good work here! Feel free to send me a PM or directly reply to this thread if you have any questions in regards to the review. And lastly, tag me when you've finished up making the edits; make all changes in a different color! @ArmegeddonCraft
where exactly am I supposed to write these few sentences? am I supposed to put them in life story, or in goals?
 
You add a few sentences depending on which section I title the bullet point. So, when you want to expand on Kendrik's goal, you can write this on the Main Ambition bullet point. As another example, if a Weakness bullet point needs more detail, just continue typing under whichever point I say needs some expansion.

If you have any more questions, let me know! @ArmegeddonCraft
 
  • Strengths. Okay, the biggest issue I see here in this section is that Kendrik seems to know a lot of diverse, varying styles of defense and combat; he knows how to wield short-swords, a khopesh, knives, use poisons, and has medical knowledge. Pick one fashion that he excels in, otherwise there's no room for actual weaknesses with his character. It also leads to a lot of questions: When did he learn to work with poisons and medicine? How did he learn to lace knives with poison? Mind, laced knives are not usually very strong or effective in the poisoning department. For this section, focus on these three main points: a combatant, mental, and physical/social strength. You've covered a good combat strength with detailed sentences![/USER]
Im not to sure on wha im supposed to change and what im supposed to keep the same here.
 
Alrighty, in the Strengths/Weakness section, try to focus on three types per section. Since we're focusing on the Strength section, I'll fill out exactly what we have to focus on:

1) A combat strength: something Kendrik excels in. Currently, there are too many things he seems to be skilled in. I want you to go ahead and choose one thing -- whether it's swordsmanship, working with knives, or with poisons. Once you pick one, give at least three detailed sentences that explain how he is better in [insert combat art here.]

2) A mental strength: Is he witty? Does he have a good memory? Things like that! At least three sentences here.

3) A physical or social strength: This one you get a bit of choice. You could either talk about a physical strength -- i.e. good balance, agility, etc -- or a social strength -- sociable, good listener, and so on.
 
Alrighty, in the Strengths/Weakness section, try to focus on three types per section. Since we're focusing on the Strength section, I'll fill out exactly what we have to focus on:

1) A combat strength: something Kendrik excels in. Currently, there are too many things he seems to be skilled in. I want you to go ahead and choose one thing -- whether it's swordsmanship, working with knives, or with poisons. Once you pick one, give at least three detailed sentences that explain how he is better in [insert combat art here.]

2) A mental strength: Is he witty? Does he have a good memory? Things like that! At least three sentences here.

3) A physical or social strength: This one you get a bit of choice. You could either talk about a physical strength -- i.e. good balance, agility, etc -- or a social strength -- sociable, good listener, and so on.
alright. am I allowed to lower his ability with the other two skills, and put them under personality and abilities (expanision)
 
Yes! Feel free to lower his skill in the two other skills and place them in the Expansion. Be sure to pop the Expansion section in a Spoiler!
 
@MantaRey requested changes have been made. let me know if I missed one or two, or if I need to change s0mething.
 
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Approved!
Terribly sorry for the wait!
 
@MantaRey i've updated my character sheet, as it was in dire need of one. the chages are as follows

1. changed from half altalar to half Avanthar

2. main ambitions are still there, but he doesn't act on them as frequently

3. clothing and weaponry has been updated.

4. suppression of his first personaility trait

5. ability to make poisons removed, as its fallen out of use

6. minor expansion to his life story
all changes are marked in orange
 
I will be re-reviewing this character sheet.

Due to his possessed sword, which is possessed by wrath, this trait is often suppressed, and his more negative traits are enhanced.

Considering he has two Wrath-possessed swords, I believe you ought to make it super apparent with the "Hot-Headed" trait that the Wrath effects definitely shine through - maybe even more than he's used to or is able to control.

as his armor is two heavy

A minor thing, but switch "two" --> "too".


These two are very similar. I'd suggest combining them into one main trait that can kinda summarize both aspects.


These two are very similar. I'd suggest combining them into one main trait that can kinda summarize both aspects.


After looking at all of the traits, I've found many of them are the same ideas re-written, and that something regarding "honor" but "moody"/"arrogant"/being able to insult, etc etc, is hardly honorable. Given that he now has Wrath-possessed items, I'd try to take those into consideration and update the other positive traits (even if they don't show as much in RP). Keep in mind you still need 3 positive and 3 negative traits.

skilled with his weapons of choice

This needs to be updated accordingly to meet the new weapon inserts.

Personality and Abilities (Expansion)

Mark these bullet points under a Spoiler.

Change all the orange text and old blue text to black. Make your new changes in green and tag me in a reply when you're done or if you have any questions. @ArmegeddonCraft


 
I will be re-reviewing this character sheet.




Considering he has two Wrath-possessed swords, I believe you ought to make it super apparent with the "Hot-Headed" trait that the Wrath effects definitely shine through - maybe even more than he's used to or is able to control.



A minor thing, but switch "two" --> "too".




These two are very similar. I'd suggest combining them into one main trait that can kinda summarize both aspects.




These two are very similar. I'd suggest combining them into one main trait that can kinda summarize both aspects.



After looking at all of the traits, I've found many of them are the same ideas re-written, and that something regarding "honor" but "moody"/"arrogant"/being able to insult, etc etc, is hardly honorable. Given that he now has Wrath-possessed items, I'd try to take those into consideration and update the other positive traits (even if they don't show as much in RP). Keep in mind you still need 3 positive and 3 negative traits.



This needs to be updated accordingly to meet the new weapon inserts.



Mark these bullet points under a Spoiler.

Change all the orange text and old blue text to black. Make your new changes in green and tag me in a reply when you're done or if you have any questions. @ArmegeddonCraft

@MantaRey requested changes have been made and marked in green. I also noticed you mentioned that kendrik had two possessed swords. I don't remember mentioning that anywhere, as he's only meant to have one. if you could point out where I made this mistake so that I can fix it, I'd appreciate it.
 
Oops! Simple mistake. Yes, just one possessed weapon. Regardless, I will look over your edits shortly.
 
Fluffy. <3
yawning-cat.gif
 
@MantaRey Re-tag in case this was lost in a sea of notifications, looks like edits were made and it is ready for re-review.
 
@MantaRey I made alterations to Kendricks clothing and life story. Let me know if anything else needs to be altered. recent changes are marked in blue.
 
Hi there, I'll be looking over your edits.

while in the sewers, he wears set of steel, iron and leather armor, which is a mix of plate and scale. His chest is covered with scale armor, with his shoulders and collarbones covered by plate, and the rest of his armor is plate and leather, with appropriate weaknesses. with a custom made helmet shaped like a wolf.

This seems a tad powergame-y. Acquiring so much plate and-or scale armor isn't exactly cheap nor easy, and I don't see how exactly he'd be able to obtain so much of it. Even if it was stolen, it's not like hauling plate armor is easy either. What I would recommend is keeping his amount of plate to something very minimal.


I'd like to see you add another weakness that's related to combat.

Main Ambition: his only goal is to gain power and respect. Whether that's for himself, or for all half-breeds remains to be seen.

I'd also throw in a point somewhere - perhaps in his personality traits or life story - telling how exactly he wants to accomplish this. What group would he want to get involved with? What are his tactics? Does he think long-term or short-term in regards to gaining "power and respect?"

Revert all the old edited text back to standard black, then make these new changes in red. Tag me when you've completed the above. @ArmegeddonCraft
 
Hi there, I'll be looking over your edits.



This seems a tad powergame-y. Acquiring so much plate and-or scale armor isn't exactly cheap nor easy, and I don't see how exactly he'd be able to obtain so much of it. Even if it was stolen, it's not like hauling plate armor is easy either. What I would recommend is keeping his amount of plate to something very minimal.



I'd like to see you add another weakness that's related to combat.



I'd also throw in a point somewhere - perhaps in his personality traits or life story - telling how exactly he wants to accomplish this. What group would he want to get involved with? What are his tactics? Does he think long-term or short-term in regards to gaining "power and respect?"

Revert all the old edited text back to standard black, then make these new changes in red. Tag me when you've completed the above. @ArmegeddonCraft
Exactly how much plate is too much plate? I always have issues with this area.
 
Exactly how much plate is too much plate? I always have issues with this area.

What has to be remembered is that plate armor is usually only given in few portions even to City guards of the Blue Steel Order, and the guard-like figures who ever have a remarkable amount of plate involved in their uniform are those of Imperial level. Plate is not cheap whatsoever. At most, I'd say he perhaps has a single plate gauntlet or a single shoulder plate at best.
 
@MantaRey I just lost a huge portion of my app due to user error. While this may not be the appropriate thing to do in this situation, I was wondering if there was any way for it to be restored, as I have no back ups whatsoever.
 
I can't restore it, myself. Would you like for me to move this sheet back into the WIP section for you?
 
I still feel like this is a bit much. Again, the leather and chain is more reasonable than having custom plate and custom-fit gauntlet-claw things. The latter is also impractical for combat. I'll reinforce my review from before. At most, I'd say he perhaps has a single plate gauntlet or a single shoulder plate at best. No more than this plate-wise. That includes the helmet. It simply comes across as very convenient for him to have all of this expensive gear when he's neither enlisted as a formal guard of any sort (either for an official guard order) or a guard for high nobility.

Replace this weakness accordingly with a combat-based point once you have severely altered the Clothing section as reviewed above.

Tag me when you've done the following in red. @ArmegeddonCraft
 
I still feel like this is a bit much. Again, the leather and chain is more reasonable than having custom plate and custom-fit gauntlet-claw things. The latter is also impractical for combat. I'll reinforce my review from before. At most, I'd say he perhaps has a single plate gauntlet or a single shoulder plate at best. No more than this plate-wise. That includes the helmet. It simply comes across as very convenient for him to have all of this expensive gear when he's neither enlisted as a formal guard of any sort (either for an official guard order) or a guard for high nobility.


Replace this weakness accordingly with a combat-based point once you have severely altered the Clothing section as reviewed above.

Tag me when you've done the following in red. @ArmegeddonCraft
I understand the unrealistic implications of having a custom fit helmet in the shape of a wolf's head, but this helmet is my characters symbol. It's an extremely large part of him, and removing is like taking away a part of the character. Considering my autism, when something I'm that invested in is taken away, it's almost like losing a part of myself. I fully understand the limitations of to rules, so if there's anyway to get around them (legally) so that my character can keep his main symbol, I'd appreciate the help
 
Basic Information (Required)
  • Full Name: Kendrik Avin Dunahal
  • Age: 20
  • Gender: male
  • Race: half ailor half Avanthar
  • Main Ambition: his only goal is to gain power and respect. Whether that's for himself, or for all half-breeds remains to be seen.
Visual Information (Required)
  • Eye Color: dark brown
  • Hair Color: black
  • Hair Style: plain
  • Skin Color: slightly tan
  • Clothing: kendrik fights like a knight. That also means he dresses like a knight. While armor is expensive, kendrik has managed to afford a decent amount. His chest price is a chain hauberk. The bottom of the hauberk extends two inches blow his waist, and the sleeves extend three inches past his elbow. His arms forearms are covered by leather gauntlets, with bits of metal on the glove portion. The metal on the glove comes in three forms. Small iron plates that cover the backs of his hands, iron studs on each of his knuckles, and iron caps on each of his fingers, which are sharpened at the end, forming metal claws. On his shoulders he wears studded leather pauldrons. His neck, and a small portion of his chest, are covered by a price of plate armor, that's meant to work in conjunction with his wolf's head helmet. The armor piece protects his collar bones, and it has a sort of metal collar that protects just under half his neck. When coupled with his helmet, which has metal extending downwards, protecting just under HF his neck, his neck is unreachable for any vampire attempting to pierce his neck with their fangs. However, a blade or claws could still make it in. His legs are protected by studded leather, and his boots are sturdy leather, with iron plated toes and heels, and treaded iron soles. He also wears a tabbard the color scheme of which is black and red, like his own armor. The front features the insignia of the twighlight order, and the back features a smaller version if the same symbol. while on the surface, he wears what any normal citizen would wear. Clothes. Theres nothing particularly interesting about them. Just some canvas pants, leather boots, a white shirt, and a warm red cloak in case it gets cold.
  • Height: 6 5' six feet and five inches tall.
  • Weight: 190 pounds
  • Body Build: lean, muscular
  • Weapon of Choice: a longsword, which, unbeknownst to kendrik, is possessed, and two twin short swords, suitable foe single wielding or duel wielding, should the need arise. he's also adopted the use of a shield, as his armor is too heavy for him to dodge as effectively.
Personality and Abilities (Required)


Personality Traits
  • protective and kind-Kendrik is a kind and protective person. He's willing to risk his life for someone who's in danger, even if he doesn't know them. This can sometimes lead to kendrik making threats against someone, hurting someone, poisoning someone, or murdering someone. On the more positive side of that, he's been known to offer fresher food to those with stale or rotten food, offer training and protection to children without homes or families, and bandage, treat, and cure those with cuts and gashes, lost limbs or other external body parts, poisoning, treatable illness. This can be traced back to his compassionate family, who instilled this trait in him. after seeing so many wrongs done, he only wishes to do right. Due to his possessed sword, which is possessed by wrath, this trait is often suppressed, and his more negative traits are enhanced.

  • hot-headed-Unfortunately, kendrik has an anger problem due to a particularly nasty part of his past. This can cause him to become violent when he or someone he cares about is being threatened. his anger can lead to him poisoning someone, gaining pleasure from watching them crawl away. it can also lead to him lashing out at anyone who has given him an ounce of frustration. however, he has the second part under control. Well, he used to. Due to the effects of his possessed sword, he has a neat unquenchable thirst for violence. This will often lead to Kendrik intentionally starting arguments and fights, just so he can quench this thirst.

  • cocky-and here I thought Kendrik was perfect. nope. he overestimates himself and underestimates his opponents. constantly. if he died easily, this would be a bigger problem. but the issue still stands, he's nearly died because of it, and there's no doubt that one day it will be his undoing. when he's in this kind of mood, his stride changes from a normal walk to a cocky strut. he holds his head up so high it should have hit a bird by now. he becomes a bit too insulting as well, and that's one of the reasons he gets into so much trouble. The Possessed sword has only made this worse. He talks too much, and that gets him in trouble, although he does it intentionally. He's begun to believe he's perfect, and may soon find himself in more trouble than he's ever been in.

  • Sneaky-obviously you cant be stealthy in armor, but you cant still be sneaky. kendriks true motives and goals remain a mystery to those around him, though he's probably using them. for what? that's currently unknown. however, he knows everyone can be used to fulfill one of his goals. whether it's to acquire weapons and armor, or simply amass power and gain influence is unclear. maybe its all of them, maybe its none of them. But no matter what, something just doesn't seem right about Kendrick.

  • Honorable- while his possessed sword has made this trait less apparent, and far less extreme, he still maintains some honor. while he does often abandon his rule on killing, its only if he doesn't meet his "quota" of violence. simply knocking someone out will usually do, and he hardly ever robs people. he refuses to ever maim someone. he'll either leave them to live their life as best as possible, or end their life, so they don't have to worry about living it. he's slowly becoming a vigilante, allowing him to act on his own sense of justice, while still fulfilling his constant need for violence. should he ever lose the possessed sword, his honorable nature will return to its original state.

  • protective- not long after joining a gang in the sewers, he became the personal body guard of its leader. this can be attributed to his protective nature, a trait that was brought out of him by his wife and son. when kendrik vows to protect someone, he means it. His blade will never be raised against them, and as long as he's around, no one else's will either. his shield effectively belongs to them.

Strengths
  • skilled with his weapons of choice-kendrik is skilled with his weapons, his short swords, and Longsword. he can create dangerous wounds with his short swords or cause fatal wounds with his long sword. his long sword seems to be his favorite weapon. it was found in the sewers canals, stabbed through a corpses chest. he immediately climbed down to collect it, and has replaced his kophesh with it.
  • charismatic- if one of his weapons don't get you, then his allies will. Kendrik is charming and charismatic. he's convinced person after person to join him and his cause. his charisma is why he's' so confident in his abilities to gain respect. he's decided that if he can convince people to join his cause, he con convince people to support it.
  • intelligent- Kendrik is well versed in two languages, Elvish and common tongue. he's also as literate as they come, and a decent strategist. he's written several instructional books on the basics of poison and medicine, but has never gotten them published.
Weaknesses
  • overly witty and blunt-Kendrik has always had a sharp tongue. this unfortunately gets him into trouble. a lot. he's been beaten, threatened, and almost killed over a few words he's said. his relationships have also been stressed, right up to the breaking point, because he said something insensitive. in spite of all this, Kendrik's tongue only grows sharper, likely due to the fact that his sarcasm is his only defense against bad memories.
  • scared of large amounts of fire- due to his home burning down, and his family dying in it, he has a fear of fire, at least in large amounts. he isn't afraid of using torches to light his home, or lighting a fire in a fireplace to keep warm, but he likes to avoid fire if possible. when faced with larger amounts of fire, his first instinct is to run. although this is the instinct that usually prevails, he can also freeze up, and will have vivid memories (like flashbacks) of his burning home.
  • more than two attackers- Kendrik is highly trained. to take out one target. he can deal with two, if one of them is weak, but three or more is always a no. he's gotten into all sorts of stupidly unwinnable situations all because someone decided to join the fight, and take the wrong persons side. he immediately will go into defensive mode, and shield himself from as much damage as possible.
  • Dexterity: this is one of Kendriks biggest issues. Armor doesn't tend to limit your speed, once you've trained in it for long enough. While Kendrik is still suprisingly fast, his dexterity is severely limited. Carry so much weight with you can cause you to grow tired quickly. This isn't an issue outside of combat, when Kendrik can walk freely around the sewers, and rest when he gets winded. However, once hs enters into combat, he has about fifteen minutes before the wiehgt of the armor takes its toll, sowing him down, and making him more vulerable.
Personality and Abilities (Expansion)
  • cook-unknown to many people, Kendrik is a fantastic cook. his mothers recipe book sits in a place of honor above his oven. he's created his own recipes, and even made money off of them. however, he usually stays in his house reading or writing, or in the sewers, be awesome and helping people
  • medically adept-luckily for many wounded people, kendrik is skilled when it comes to medicine. hes been able to properly disinfect and close wounds, like his own wound down his side. although he cant prevent larger wounds from scarring, he can prevent them from killing. he jokingly calls himself the one man hospital
Life Story (Required)
Kendrik Dunahal has had a pretty tragic life. you see, his mother wanted a child. his dad, on the other hand, didn't. so his mother did what any reasonable person would do- she cheated. as a result, kendrik was born illegitimate half breed, as the man his mother cheated with was a Avanthar. it wasn't all bad though. kendriks dad treated him as his own son, and kendrik did love his family. kendrik grew up on a farm, both his parents were employees on that farm. however, a group of vampire revolutionists burned it down as it was owned by a noble. kendrik was brought to safety, but his family never made it out. this included his baby brother, whose screams and cries still haunt Kendrik to this day, and his lover, Erin.

a year went by, and kendrik had completed his training with the man who saved him. the man trained him with the only thing resembling a weapon on the burnt down husk of a farm, (that kendrik had purchased and was rebuilding) a scythe. Kendrik, as a field worker, knew the weight and reach of the scythe. this man taught Kendrik advanced combat, how to make and Identify poisons, and how to treat wounds and illnesses. he utilized this training by killing the group of vampires that burned his home down. after nearly dying, but emerging victorious, kendrik moved to regalia, after the farm was rebuilt and money was bring made off of it. unfortunately, his life got more complicated. he me a girl who was turning, and helped her through it, falling for her in the process. he eventually made her his girlfriend, only for her to leave a day later and lose all her memories of him. her mother, who was completely nuts, used her dying breath to place a bounty on his head, but he didn't find that out until recently. he met another girl,(a few weeks before that) who got kidnapped by a group of vampire shendar that are targeting him for reasons he doesn't know. this was told to him by a girl whom he fell for, after she fell for him, and loved for about a week. until she disappeared. he held on to the hope that she might come back, but he gave up after he met Kanin Forestyne. he currently is building a relationship with her, and has recently proposed. he is now married, and has a son by the name of avin

because of his previous losses, Kendrik strives to gain enough power to prevent further loses. he currently aims to get half breeds more respect. he plans on doing this by first gaining respect for himself. his current methods of gaining respect include killing a serial killer. once he gains respect and power, he plans to make sure everyone gets the rights and respect they need, then, once everyone knows and respects him, he plans on taking over regalia. he was formerly a part of the creed of dusk, and acted as the leaders personal body guard. after being kicked out of that group, he has harbored extreme feelings of resentment towards them. He has sworn to take them down, no matter what it takes.
Kendriks methods and plans to accomplish these goals are mostly long term. To acquire respect and power, he seems to join larger groups. He's currently working on a contract with the Twilight Order, and, after they've fulfilled their purpose, he will attempt to join the guards, since they have the best armor and weaponry. Once power and respect has been obtained, he'll use whatever influence he has to arrest and detain the Creeds members, and, if the opportunity is presented, kill them.
I still feel like this is a bit much. Again, the leather and chain is more reasonable than having custom plate and custom-fit gauntlet-claw things. The latter is also impractical for combat. I'll reinforce my review from before. At most, I'd say he perhaps has a single plate gauntlet or a single shoulder plate at best. No more than this plate-wise. That includes the helmet. It simply comes across as very convenient for him to have all of this expensive gear when he's neither enlisted as a formal guard of any sort (either for an official guard order) or a guard for high nobility.


Replace this weakness accordingly with a combat-based point once you have severely altered the Clothing section as reviewed above.

Tag me when you've done the following in red. @ArmegeddonCraft
Requested changes have (hopefully) been made. Like always, notify me of any necessary changes, and be sure to go into detail about what should be removed.
 
I understand the unrealistic implications of having a custom fit helmet in the shape of a wolf's head, but this helmet is my characters symbol. It's an extremely large part of him, and removing is like taking away a part of the character. Considering my autism, when something I'm that invested in is taken away, it's almost like losing a part of myself. I fully understand the limitations of to rules, so if there's anyway to get around them (legally) so that my character can keep his main symbol, I'd appreciate the help
Make his helmet leather based with a wolf head pelt sewn on it to retain the wolf theme.