Preserved Sheet Kaspar Burkhart

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Sparrow26

Ser Cedric Burkhart, Viridian Order
Joined
Jul 2, 2013
Messages
32
Reaction score
50
Points
0
Location
Ireland
Basic Information (Required)
  • Full Name: Kaspar Arnold Burkhart
  • Age: 32
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Alt-Regalian Ailor
  • Main Ambition: He wishes to reach peak physical condition, and master the art of Viridian combat. After this, he wishes to study different styles from around the world so he is prepared for any situation. This ambition also extends to strategy, as strategy put's reason behind actions in combat, and any self-respecting swordsman is also a decent strategist.
  • Special Permission: Champion level Viridian Paladin
  • Currently staying in a house close to the ruins of the Viridian castle, honing skills and waiting for orders. When not training or out on missions, the man finds himself in the Golden Willow Tavern, or spends time with his fellow knights.
  • Cedric had a very entitled upbringing as the third son of a very rich Merchant named Hans Burkhart. He grew up in a large Regalian house, and wanted for nothing. He spent most of his time in lessons, as plans for him to be sent to the School of Viridian at 14 had been in motion since he was born. He was raised well, with a near perfect balance between leisure and education, which both came together to make a very devote follower of both Unionism and the code of Hohe Ehre
  • His current short term goal is to find his way as a Paladin. The order he once knew is no more, and so he is looking for a substitute to replace it. He also wishes to advance his standing with the Virathus Companions.
Skill Information
  • School: School of Viridian
  • Level: Champion
  • Source: Viridian Order
Visual Information (Required)

  • Eye Color: Dark Grey
  • Hair Color: Light Brown
  • Hair Style: Just above shoulders, loose, Fringe tied back.
  • Skin Color: Slightly tan
  • Clothing: The man is most often seen wearing stylish dark green shirts, with a chain which holds a feather emblem, the symbol of his family. Other than this, he can be seen wearing doublets on formal occasions or for training and battle, the armour of the Viridian Order.
  • Height: 6'4"
  • Body Build: Muscular
  • Weapon of Choice: Longsword+Shield
  • Cedric has a very pronounced and what would be considered handsome jawline. His cheeks are sharp, and his forehead straight. He has an average sized nose, with small nostrils. His eyes are spaced an average distance from his nose, and are narrow and rather angular. His neck has muscles showing through it, and if he clenches his jaw veins appear running up it.
  • Cedric has a light brush of body hair all over. He has a large, very muscular torso, which holds two very defined and trained arms. If the man tenses, his muscles look ready to pop. His leg muscles are no different, if not even more defined, due to wearing heavy plate almost all the time during training. The knight has a towering appearance to most, as he stands at 6'4". The Regalian's hands are large, and have large knuckles. He has a training injury in his right index finger, which means he can not fully straighten it. Cedric also favors his right leg due to tearing his left calf muscle when starting his training with the Viridian Order
  • The fashion sense he has comes from years of training on how to act in court from his father and tutor at the Viridian Order. He wears clothes appropriate for the situation, but favors the colour green, as it goes well with his complexion. The only thing universal in his outfits is the feather medallion he has around his neck at all times, as it reminds him of his duty to family.
  • Due to being taught how to conduct himself in a manner that befits a knight, his voice sounds commanding when it needs to, but when not staging it it sounds rather regular, if maybe a little deeper than usual. He had a stammer on the letter "S" at one time, but his father drilled it out of him, however he has a very faint lisp on the letter because of this training, as saying it the normal way causes the stammer. He speaks at a controlled and understandable pace, unless very angry, in which case he cuts out anyone else trying to talk.


Personality and Abilities

Personality Traits

  • +Zealous - The man is very zealous about Unionism. This stems from his tutoring at the hands of his father and the Viridian Order. He may not be driven to kill solely based on religion or creed, unless specifically ordered to, but he will choose his friends and companions based on religion. This trait motivates him to attend service every day, and pray privately before every battle or task
  • +Compassionate - Cedric believes those less fortunate than us deserve our pity and respect. He will show compassion for the poor, injured and disabled mostly, though he judges it on a situation by situation basis. He got this from his mother, who always instilled in him a duty to the needy. This trait was only further solidified when he joined the Viridian Order.
  • -Racist - Cedric, like most Ailor born to upper class families, leans more toward human races. The man wouldn't go so far as to fight with someone because of their race, but when dealing with people of another race, he always has bias against them, and would rarely be seen making friends with a dwarf or elf.
  • +/-Duty-Bound - This is really a double edged sword. On one hand, it makes the members of the Viridian Order trust him more, on the other, he sometimes takes his duty too far, and will forget his own values in the face of duty. This makes common people wary or even hateful of him, as nothing takes precedent over his duty to the code of Hohe Ehre.
  • +Strategic - His father, being a merchant, was able to educate him in the ways of financial strategy. He showed him what signs to look for to expect a collapsing or pre-boom market, and how to take advantage of this. His adeptness for battle strategy comes in more useful, and is practiced more than his financial strategy skills.
  • -Conservative Alt-Regalian - Cedric looks down on women as being below men, which comes from his Alt-Regalian upbringing. He believes their job is to assist men in making the world a better place. He does love women, however he loves them as carers. He keeps this a secret, but would act in favor of a man in most situations.
  • -Blindly Loyal - If the man dedicates himself to something, he will follow it no matter where it leads him, even to death. This gets him in a lot of stupid situations sometimes, as he sometimes finds himself putting his trust in the wrong places. He believes obedience is very important, but that loyalty is not obedience. Obedience is following instructions when you might not want to, whereas Cedric enjoys carrying out orders from causes he is loyal to. He will speak up in very extreme circumstance, but if he is not listened to he will still carry out the order he criticized.
Strengths
  • Physically Strong: Cedric has been training his strength at intense levels since the age of 9. It started with fitness, and eventually he began adding muscle mass. He was always on a very strict diet, and still adheres to this. He trains every day on all aspects of physical prowess, and has what can almost be described as an addiction to exercise
  • Highly Trained Combatant: At the end of the day, Cedric is a sworn knight, and you don't become a knight without being lethal in combat. He spends a lot of time each day practicing his swordsmanship, and is at the stage now where he is starting to personalize his style, while still sticking to Viridian Order principles.
  • Chivalrous: He has a personal and prescribed set of morals, and he sticks to them to the letter. The prescribed list is the Hohe Ehre. His personal morals are more specific than Hohe Ehre, and include the belief that he has no place to judge a person's innocence, Arrogance is the highest form of ignorance, and Always put duty and family first, and if the two collide, make family your duty.
Weaknesses
  • Weak Knees - If Cedric were to be hit in the knees, they would buckle from underneath him, leaving him completely open for attack. This came from wearing plate armour all the time during training, and even outside of combat his knees will sometimes lock up and cause him to have to sit down. This would obviously impede his goal of combat mastery quite a lot, as he would need to work around it. (A note: The severity of this weakness increases any time I decide to do a time advance with my character, or any time his skill level goes up. I feel this is a fair balance)
  • Overly-Critical - As a bit of a perfectionist himself, Cedric tends to be too critical of other people's work. Most find this rude, and few welcome the criticism. He bites his tongue rather well with his superiors, however a tongue can only be bitten for so long. In relation to his main ambition, this could inhibit him as a master usually does not take criticism well from a student, and watching the imperfections other combat arts have which the Viridian art does not have would rile him up to criticize.
  • Slow - Moving muscles into a dodge takes more effort than usual, which is why he takes a sword and shield. If a blow did manage to get through his guard, dodging it would really not be an option and he would be forced to take the blow. This also extends to sprinting or running, which is burdened even further by the fact that he wears heavy plate armour.

Quirks
  • When bored or not doing much, he shakes his leg impulsively. This is called "Restless legs syndrome. This really doesn't affect him very much, as his father taught him to be conscious of it and stop it when around others, however if you caught him off guard you would probably see it
Skills developed
  • Horse Racing: As a knight, horse riding is a staple skill of the craft. He is as good at combat riding or jousting as the next knight, but his prowess really shines when the armour comes off the horse and the racing saddle on. This is more of a hobby, but he has entered a few Viridian Order private contests and come 2nd or 3rd
  • Arm Wrestling: Being among the larger trainees at the Viridian Order, Cedric took up arm-wrestling with his friends, and now, with his physical training complete, he could even take on a smaller orc in an arm wrestle
  • Boxing: He chose boxing as his main martial art to focus on when training, and continued it as a side hobby when not training
  • Poetry: As a teenager growing up in the hard regiment of the Order's training, the man turned to the pen to express his emotions, and did so easiest in the form of poetry. He hasn't made the next biggest thing yet, but he has drafted a few clever and hard-hitting haikus.
Natural Talents
  • Flexible - Perhaps not as much so with the weight he has, but even with that he can cross his legs in the lotus position and for his weight is one of the most flexible wrestlers in the order. This makes people think he has dedicated years to wrestling, when really it just came naturally to him
Likes
  • Chess - He loves a good game of chess to get the mind working. This is because he is good at the game, due to his teachings in battle strategy. He is no grand master, but still could hold his own against some of the Elders in the order. It gives him satisfaction to win, and trains his mind at the same time
  • Beer - He doesn't drink often, mainly because he doesn't get time, but he is fond of a good cold beer straight from a cellar. His "local" is the Golden Willow tavern, who's patronage he is reasonably familiar with. He never drinks to get drunk, but rather to enjoy the taste and uniqueness of different drinks.
  • Hunting - The tracking, the laying of traps and the chase of what is soon to be dinner... All aspects of the hunt which exhilarate Cedric. He loves finding a fresh track, following it until it is exhausted, surrounding a beast.. His prey... then carefully moving in to spring the trap and end the beast with a single thrust of the spear. The satisfaction of collecting the fruits of his labour. It all satisfies him.
Dislikes
  • Extortion - Cedric feels this is the lowest a person can stoop in life. To extort others for personal gain is as far from honor as one can fall. It gets him angry, furious even, to see strong men picking on small men, and he as a strong man aims to put these people in their place. He won't lose all sense of law, but he will certainly do anything he can to stop the crime
  • Disrespect to family - Having a very strong upbringing, Cedric can't understand why anyone would not hold family among their dearest and most respected people in life. He can't abide sons disrespecting their father's wishes or daughters not doing their duty to the family. It can drive him to challenge people, and cause fights.
  • Boasters - As a man who believes humility is important, and that arrogance is the greatest ignorance, you can see why he doesn't like boastful people all too much. He will often refuse to listen to people brag about their achievements, unless it is deserved. He feels if a deed is good enough no be recognized as heroic, then it needs to words to back it up or convey it.
  • He enjoys a good relationship with his father, however he lost contact with the rest of his family. Despite this, he would still do a lot for all of them, however as with anything there are limits, for example he wouldn't murder
  • Note: Section is mainly here for me to keep track of relationships with different characters, so I don't lose track as I develop the character more through roleplay
Life Story (Required)

Cedric grew up on a tight but fair schedule. Living in a mansion in the city of Regalia, the place of his birth, he wanted for nothing and was tutored in the ways of basic combat, fitness and etiquette from the age of 9 through 14 by his father. His father was one of the biggest in the weapons trade at the time, and had made a huge fortune in servicing the Regalians throughout the years. Cedric, being a 3rd born son, 4th born child, was destined for the Viridian Order. His father's motivations: Having a son as a knight would very much help the name of a weapons merchant.

*

Other than training during this time, he spent time with his family and friends. His best friend was his eldest brother, as they shared a lot in common, and were the two sons educated the most. Family life was good. He had two very loving parents, and 3 supportive siblings. However, nearing the time of his induction into the Viridian Order, he was separated from his family over time, so as to prevent a shock to the system once he had left. These were hard days for Cedric, but the values of duty instilled in him by his father helped him through it.

*

Once he turned 14, his life went into the fast lane. He celebrated his 14th birthday, and was immediately shipped off with a wagon carrying goods to the Viridian Order. There, he trained hard for 7 long years, when he graduated at the rank of First Sargeant. During this time he picked up all his combat and court skills, and developed friendships with some of the other knights

*

After his graduation, he spent 2 weeks on leave celebrating. After this, he was assigned to squire for a prominent Templar of the order. He did so quite successfully, until the Paladin was injured in battle. This was when Cedric was 28. At this stage, he had been recognized for his triumphs, and was allowed to continue without squiring for a Templar. He enjoyed this added freedom. He did so for 3 years. When he was 31, he decided it was time to prove himself worthy of Templar status. He signed up for the yearly tournament held by the Order. He triumphed in the tournament, earning himself enough recognition to be named Templar. Soon after, the Lo Occupation happened. He was fortunate to be out of town celebrating, which is how he survived. He then joined the Coen Rebellion, and fought very successfully.

*

In the months following, he decided to take a leave of absence from the order. He set off for Ithania, where he wandered for some time, attempting to hone his skills further. During his time here, he came to a few realizations. It only hit him during this time that he was no longer a part of anything, and for a man who holds loyalty in the highest regard, this was depressing. He decided to head back to Regalia, a more mature man. His goal: Finding a new cause to support.

 
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Here's my review.
  • You need to elaborate on your character's main ambition. It's important to recognize how this comes into play with Cedric's overall balance as a character, in that your weaknesses typically are meant to make your journey to your goals not as easy.
  • In this case, you put 'abrupt' as a character weakness. Seeing as though your character seems to be military-focused, I would say that abrupt is more of a personality trait than an actual weakness. It's not as if being abrupt would deeply inhibit your work in the Viridian Order.
  • Perhaps instead of being a misogynist, you could reword that to be more of a traditionalist/conservative. As said above, it's not as if he has contempt towards women, it's just that he thinks they should assume a more familial role.
  • I would prefer if you described the hero syndrome in your own words rather than through wikipedia. Regardless, I think that you intend to use something about your self-image as a weakness then you're going to need to phrase it a bit differently. Prideful, which is essentially what you described, isn't a weakness. That said, if you want to change that to arrogance then it could, with the correct description, be considered a weakness.
  • Some more basic information in your character's backstory would be useful. Where were they born and what was their house like as they grew up? What was their family like? What sort of wealth does Cedric come from? Why did he join the Viridian Order?
 
Alright, firstly thank you for taking on my sheet.

Now, here are all the edits I made:
Ambition
He wishes to reach peak physical condition, and master the art of Viridian combat. After this, he wishes to study different styles from around the world so he is prepared for any situation. This ambition also extends to strategy, as strategy put's reason behind actions in combat, and any self-respecting swordsman is also a decent strategist.

Weaknesses
  • Glory Hunter - Cedric, like most knights, seeks recognition for heroism and the favor of lords and ladies. He will often go to extreme lengths to put himself in dangerous situations, which will earn him more glory, however in a lot of cases, they earn him a hiding and a stooped head. He loves the feeling of be cheered on in a parade by the men, women and children he heroically save moments before.

  • Overly-Critical - As a bit of a perfectionist himself, Cedric tends to be too critical of other people's work. Most find this rude, and few welcome the criticism. He bites his tongue rather well with his superiors, however a tongue can only be bitten for so long. In relation to his main ambition, this could inhibit him as a master usually does not take criticism well from a student, and watching the imperfections other combat arts have which the Viridian art does not have would rile him up to criticize.

Life Story Changes

Cedric grew up on a tight but fair schedule. Living in a mansion in the city of Regalia, the place of his birth, he wanted for nothing

His father was one of the biggest in the weapons trade at the time, and had made a huge fortune in servicing the Regalians throughout the years

Cedric, being a 3rd born son, 4th born child, was destined for the Viridian Order. His father's motivations: Having a son as a knight would very much help the name of a weapons merchant.

Other than training during this time, he spent time with his family and friends. His best friend was his eldest brother, as they shared a lot in common, and were the two sons educated the most. Family life was good. He had two very loving parents, and 3 supportive siblings. However, nearing the time of his induction into the Viridian Order, he was separated from his family over time, so as to prevent a shock to the system once he had left. These were hard days for Cedric, but the values of duty instilled in him by his father helped him through it.


Hope you enjoy the changes

@Valentinian
 
In response to your recent changes:
  • I need you to re-evaluate the idea of glory hunter being a weakness. Everyone wants recognition and trying to get it doesn't exactly hinder your path to Cedric's main ambition in this case. If you are meaning to say that he is boastful or ostentatious, then perhaps that could be considered as a weakness. As it stands however, you're going to need to replace it.
 
@Valentinian

Replaced glory hunter with this:

  • Reckless - Cedric is very reckless when it comes to getting himself into situations which are very dangerous to him. He often ignores warnings, as he always wants to be seen as being brave. This comes from a need to appear brave so as to follow Hohe Ehre. If there were a group of 5 guys starting a fight, and he was the only one standing up to them, it wouldn't cause him to back down, if anything he would do the opposite as he would feel all eyes are on him.
 
@Valentinian

Replaced glory hunter with this:
The manner in which you described reckless in this situation falls under the copout weakness of 'cocky fighter'. I recommend either tacking on a physical weakness or alternatively something that would affect how they socialize. Though that said, I would much prefer some sort of combat weakness as that fits best with someone whose main occupation is being a Sergeant of the Viridian Order.
 
@Valentinian

Thank you for bearing with me, I haven't made one of these in a while

  • Weak Knees - If Cedric was caught out of his plate in combat, and his knees were exposed, even an unskilled blow to either of them would send him onto his back. This is due to the strain on his knees from the use of heavy plate armor. His knees can also very rarely suddenly "go", which causes him to walk with a limp for a while and to have to rest them. This is not likely to happen during combat, but rather when he's been sitting for a while and suddenly starts exerting his knees. This is also a contributing factor to his slowness.

Hope this is okay.
 
@Valentinian

Thank you for bearing with me, I haven't made one of these in a while

Hope this is okay.
That's a bit of a copout, again, as you wrote it in a way that would prevent it from affecting your character in a meaningful way. In specific, mentioning that plate entirely nullifies his weak knees as a weakness or that his knees don't act up while in combat is what I take issue with. The purpose of weaknesses are to balance out your strengths, which this does not achieve. Take that into account as you rewrite or replace the trait and be sure to avoid conditional words like 'could' or 'might'.
 
I see what you mean about the copout weaknesses now.

Weak Knees - If Cedric were to be hit in the knees, they would buckle from underneath him, leaving him completely open for attack. This came from wearing plate armour all the time during training, and even outside of combat his knees will sometimes lock up and cause him to have to sit down. This would obviously impede his goal of combat mastery quite a lot, as he would need to work around it. The only person who knows of this weakness is the Paladin he squires for, Ciaran Ulfblod, however if someone knew what they were looking for, they could spot the occasional dodgy bit of footwork.

@Valentinian
 
@Valentinian Few changes made.
  • Time skipped the character to be 32
  • Increased his Viridian skill level to Champion
  • Added a note to his weak knees weakness
  • Updated life story to fit the changes
Hope all edits are okay!
 
@Valentinian Don't mean to be a pest, just it's been 10 days. Wanna make sure you didn't miss the tag or something