Preserved Sheet Fayllen Camellia Metsu-zara

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Fayllen Camellia Mestu-Zara


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Basic Information

  • Full Name - Fayllen Camellia (Ararora) Mestu-Zara
  • Nickname - Fey
  • Age - 32, born November 26th 273 AC
  • Gender - Agender, but identifies as a Female
  • Race - Yanar, Allar seedling
  • Main Ambition - Fey wishes to become wealthy off of making profits from her newly open shop in order to support her new family.
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Basic Information (Expansion)
  • Fayllen is just an average commoner, who came to Regalia to create an art shop. Fayllen come to Regalia when she was just sixteen years old. Fayllen currently lives in a house right next to the park with her husband, and she owns a herb shop in which she works at.
  • Fayllen was raised by a Yanar named Lilac and an Allar named Cyclamen, in a village called Geranium in Hadar. Most of Fayllen's life she lived as a poor commoner with her parents and her younger sister named Lynna.
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Skill Information
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  • School - Evergrowth Magic
  • Level - Solur 1 and 2
  • Source - Is currently being taught by her friend named Klexx.
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Visual Information

  • Eye Color - Light Emerald color
  • Hair Color - White
  • Hair Style - Her hair is white and leafy and short with two small buns on each side of her head. Also has Jonquil flowers growing near those buns. Along with that she has two short, branchy, wooden antlers on either side of her head that are near the Jonquil flowers.
  • Skin Color - Dark grass green
  • Clothing - Ranges from dresses to simple blouses and pants.
  • Height - 5 feet 5 inches
  • Body Build - Not well built, skinny.
  • Weapon of Choice - Small dagger/knife.
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Clothes
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Dagger
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Personality and Abilities

Personality Traits

  • (+)Optimistic - Fey is always in a good mood despite what she sees or hears. Most times Fey will get sad but she always finds a way to cheer herself up. Sometimes people find Fey's happiness annoying but her sisters don't seem to mind it. She gained this trait due to looking up to her sister Sienna, who is very polite and caring.
  • (+)Helpful - Helping people always brings a smile to Fey's face. No matter what she has to do she'll always say yes. Helping people has changed Fey by giving her a different perspective on life. She gained this trait by seeing people who needed help and just offering it to them.
  • (+)Ambitious - Whenever Fey starts a painting, she is determined to finish it which makes her ambitious. Ever since Fey started painting she grew ambitious and determined to get things done. She gained this trait from painting and helping around her sister's shop.
  • (+)Supportive - Fayllen is very supportive of her choices and her Husbands choices. The way she sees it, is that it's their life. If they want to make that choice, let them. Overall Fayllen is very supportive of her friends and family. She'll usually help them make a choice or help them with a choice they have made.
  • (~)Protective - Since Fayllen's first seedling is about to hatch she's been very protective over her husband and the tree in which her seedling was placed. This can be good on some accounts, but if she's over protective it can get quite annoying. The way Fey sees it, she's just standing her ground.
  • (-)Absent-Minded - Sometimes Fey can be very forgetful, meaning she'll forget something over a period of time. Fey can get distracted easily as well making her very clumsy. Ever since Fey was a little Yanar she was absent-minded. No one knows how she acquired this trait but it's what makes Fey, Fey.
  • (-)Clingy - Once Fey makes a close friend she'll become attached to them. Sometimes this is band, other times it isn't. She becomes very attached to friends because she's afraid of being alone and losing friends or loved ones. Fey gained this trait when she lost her friend named Lyra due to being too happy all the time.
  • (-)Distracted - Fey can never focus on one task for a long period of time. This means Fey will usually start one painting, quit halfway and start another. This causes her house to be messy and filled with unfinished paintings. The only time she really completes a painting is if she is getting paid for it, or if its for someone she likes.
  • (-)Traumatized - With the recent event of Fey being dragged down into the sewers, she has become traumatized. Now she will have random episodes that can be triggered by certain words, smells, or things that she saw as she was kidnapped.
Strengths

  • Fast Learner - Fey is a very fast learner, which means she has the ability to learn and pick up any skill within a matter of a few days. This was very obvious to Fey's parents when she was little, because at age 7 she was already making masterpieces. This also means Fey will have no problem learning and training with Evergrowth magic.
  • Kind Hearted - Something that she is know well for is Fey's kind heart and gentle nature. She is always trying to bring a smile to somebody's face simply because it makes her feel helpful as well. And when it comes to the well being of others she is always trying to look out for the "little guy" even if it means getting in a bit of danger herself.
  • Artistic - A strength that should go without saying is the artistic nature of Fey's mind. Not only does she have a colorful mind when it comes to art but she is also good at seeing the true art and beauty throughout the world. This often lets her be much more optimistic and able to see bright side of any situation.
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All of these pictures where taken by me, and edited by me using photoshop. If you wish to use them for a thread or anything else please give me credit. Thanks!
Weaknesses

  • Frail - One of Fey's biggest flaws is her frail body. Spending most of her time simply painting or taking small strolls around has caused her to not have much muscle mass. As such she wouldn't prove very well versed in a fight nor would she hold up well from taking a heavy blow from something or someone.
  • Near sighted - A problem for Fey is her rather poor eyesight, it's not enough to warrant needing correcting but it can prove to be a problem when she is trying to pick out small details at a distance. For her once something is too far away it is nothing more than a blur of colors. However if it's close enough she can still see it just fine.
  • Nervous - Despite her optimistic nature Fey can get extremely nervous and anxious at times. This being caused mainly by her constantly trying to make herself happy and in a good mood. Often causing the more negative emotions to be bottled up to the point that she finally just breaks down at the drop of a hat. This can also prove to be very physically debilitating as it is mental, the stress often making her feel tired and sick at when it is getting close to when she is about to break down. However after this her optimistic nature comes back and she is quick to recover from it.
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Personality and Abilities (Expansion)
  • Quirks - The only noticeable quirks about Fey is how she hides her hands behind her back whenever she's scared or nervous. People have pointed this out but, Fey has no clue how she started doing this.
  • Skills - Fayllen is a very good artist, she can paint anything from portraits to landscape pictures. She is also a good cook, whenever she makes a meal for anyone they always tell her how good of a job she did.
Likes
  • The Color Yellow - Fey has always been fond the color yellow from when she was very young to now. She uses yellow in almost every painting, and she even wears a yellow scarf made by her sister.
  • Honey Tea - Fey loves the flavor and sweetness of honey tea. When she was very young her mother would always make a cup for her in the mornings before she went to tend to her garden or paint a new picture.
  • The Smell of a New Canvas - The smell of a new canvas always gets Fey's creative juices flowing. The smell reminds her of her childhood when her mother would come home with painting supplies.
Dislikes
  • Bugs -Fey hates bugs. She despises their excessive number of legs and eyes. Whenever Jojo was around her teen years she had developed a fear for these creepy creatures.
  • Darkness - Fey hates the dark, It reminds her of being alone. When she was little she always had a candle lit in her room to keep her safe from the dark.
  • Slavery - The thought of forcing someone to do tasks for you sickens Fey. She believes that everyone should have a choice to work for someone. No one should be forced to work for anyone.
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Relationships

Fazzar Metsu-Zara | The Protective Slizzar Husband | @Biggums9001
Fayllen and Fazzar met on the park bridge one day and instantly got along. They kept on meeting there and soon they become more than friends. They'd soon move in with each other and a nice house near the park where they met.
Ku'uaki | The Friendly Maiar Roommate | @Jaecuhb
Fayllen and Ku'uaki met near the new Ithanian district. They became friends as they talked about how they got to Regalia and why. Soon Fayllen found out that Ku'uaki had no place to stay, so she offered for him to stay in her house.
Klexx | The Mysterious Yanar Mage | NPC
Fayllen met Klexx while walking around the park. Klexx decided to accompany Fey on her walk and they decided to get to know each other. After Fey shared her story, Klexx shared hers. After a few minutes Klexx mentions that she's an Evergrowth mage which fascinates Fey. Once Klexx saw Fey's face light up with interest she offered to teach her. Now they meet up at Fey's house to practice and study normally.
Lloa Nossollei | The Kind Yanar Friend | @Koajack

Lloa and Fayllen met at a party that the Wodenstaffs where hosting. After talking for a while and telling each other out their backgrounds Fey quickly became friends with him.
Daisuke Amari | The Caring Father | @SuperKamiWarlock

Daisuke and Fayllen met at the Tavern one night and decided to make conversation. After talking for a while Fey discovered that he had adopted a Yanar child. This made Fey light up with joy, she then told Daisuke that she recently placed her seedling on a tree. After telling Daisuke that he said that once Fey's child was born, their children could become friends.
Lynna Ararora | The Silly Younger Sister | @Seaaaaa

Lynna and Fayllen have been inseparable since Lynna was born. Whenever Fey saw her sister hatch, she knew that she had a new bestfriend.
Azure Mestu-Zara | Adorable Yanar Son | NPC

Azure is Fayllen's newly born son.
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Life Story

(Birth ~ 10)

Fayllen Camellia Ararora was born on November 26th 284 AC to her parents Lilac and Cyclamen Ararora, in a forest near a village named Geranium in Hadar. Although Hadar was basically a warzone her parents tried to make her life as normal as possible. There would be constant arguing between her parents about the war and about her father going into the war. Other than that she was usually happy, trying to forget about the rough times that where happening in Hadar. Nothing really important happened until she turned 5. At age 5 she painted her first painting. Two years later, at age 7, she continued to improve her artistic skills. Noticing how fast her artistic skills were developing, her mother helps her by continuing to buy her new art supplies. Soon enough at age 9 her room was basically transformed into an art studio. She would spend hours upon hours painting and drawing. Finally at age 10 she began selling her art for cheap at the local market in her village.
(11 ~ present)

At age 14 she got her first job at her own market stall selling portraits of people who ordered one. She kept this job until she was 16. When she turned 16 she moved to Regalia to take her Painting business there. Three years later, at age 19, she is still trying to save up to buy her own painting store. (1/5/305 AC) While sightseeing on the park bridge, Fayllen met a nice Slizzar named Fazzar. After socializing with him for hours they decided to plan dates to come sightseeing together. (1/17/305 AC) After weeks of meeting up they decided to become more than friends. And they also decided to mover in with each other. (2/10/305 AC) Fazzar proposed and Fayllen happily said yes. They decided to have a private ceremony later that day. (2/18/305 AC) Fey recently met a friendly 75 year old Yanar, named Klexx, while wondering around the park. After talking with her for a while she discovered that she was an expert mage in Evergrowth Magic and she offered to teach Fayllen. Now, Fayllen meets her every day to study and practice Evergrowth Magic in her home. (2/19/305 AC) Fayllen recently met a friendly Maiar named Ku'uaki. After talking about where they came from and why they're here in Regalia, Fayllen found out he was homeless. After hearing that she offered for him to stay with her until he scrapes up enough money to afford a house of his own. (2/21/305 AC) After discussing and thinking about it, Fazzar and Fayllen decided to plant a seedling. Fayllen is super excited about having a new addition to the family. (2/24/305 AC) Fayllen and Fazzar decided to open a family run shop named "Mestu-Zara's Herbs". This will be their main income for the family until further notice. (2/25/305 AC) While Fayllen was walking to her shop, she was attacked by two masked Ailors and dragged down to the sewers. When they made it to their base they interrogated her and "punished her for her "wrong doings". After three hours of sitting in complete darkness, the two Ailors realized that they had the wrong Yanar. After realizing that she was the wrong person that they where looking for, they released her from the sewers.
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Peer Review

Disorganized is not a personality trait, change it to a different negative trait. You can salvage this point if you want to place it into Weaknesses that would be fine.

Creative and Artistic can be viewed as similar traits so I would say change the Artistic strength to something else. For the sake of tradition a combat oriented strength if possible. It doesn't have to be spelled out as directly related to combat, but can apply, such as agility or similar.

I would encourage you to make the above changes and tag me once completed for another look. If you have any questions or concerns just tag me and I'll take another look over them if any.
 
I changed Disorganized to Distracted
I also changed Creative to Fast Learner

Thank you for the peer review!

@Wumpatron
 
Good work, nothing immediately glaring stand out so with that your peer review is complete with me. Best of luck to you with your character.
 
Here is my review!
  • Your physical appearance is far from that of an Altalar seedling.
    • Your height should match the somewhere in the range of Altalar Between 6' and 6'10".
    • Your skin should generally be made of bark and have knotty woodlike growths on it, not be fleshy or grassy.
    • You would have absolutely no regular hair, just some planty growths and shrubbery of some sort.
  • The character sheet template has been updated recently to remove quoting an exact weight in pounds, and instead implementing a selection from a set list of body builds: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Character_Body_Build
  • Where was your character born? Give at least a little detail about their parents and upbringing to set the stage for what their cultural disposition is.
  • Edelweiss is the name of an established IC organization of healers. I would say that you should not use this name unless you have the leader's permission @TheBioverse @PonyoWantHam. If this was an accidental coincidence and not trying to connect with the group somehow, should just alter the name.
  • If your character is a completely paciest and nervous Yanar, why on earth would they just wander into a dangerous, violent, and illegal place to go like the sewers? This would not be a lighthearted decision or something she just does randomly.
Make some edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
 
Switching to an Allar seedling gets it a little bit closer appearance wise, but there are still a few issues and it creates more problems then it solves in the life story.
  • I should be clear no form of Yanar have hair. They all have some type of plant construct that replaces hair. Refer to this page for a little more specifics: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Yanar The Allar seedling will have some type of wooden antlers.
  • I'm not certain where the name Dahlia came from, but it neither has Nelfin nor Allar origins, so it is still not a good name for this character. Also in the message you created and deleted about 45 minutes seems to confirm that the nickname is inspired by an anime. If it is, please remove it.
  • All of the Allar that are in Teled Methen are slaves to the Altalar there. As an Allar seedingly in Teled Methen, you'd have been forced to labor for Altalar, not free to pursue your artistic desires. It wouldn't be impossible to be an artist, but you would need to be a lot more on the down low and learning it against your master's wishes. You also wouldn't be able to get a job one day selling art however you wish. No Allar seedling would be taken seriously in this region even if they did manage to set up shop somehow. They would also not be free to leave whenever they want. I get from your writing that you are going for more of a feel-good innocent happy character and you may not want all of this dark stuff in your life story, but that's part of what you are buying into by picking a minority second class citizen race who is almost universally oppressed. I honestly think your best bet to maintain the essence of the things you have written is to completely change to an Ailor Ithanian-Champagnard and choose a name that is more french in origin. I could be completely off base and gotten the wrong impression, but I've seen a lot of this character apps and I think this is your best bet to get the RP you are trying to get.
Suffice to say, you need to take a harder look at the character's appearance and life story and make sure that your upbringing is culturally relevant and your appearance falls into the parameters provided by the race/subrace. Tag me after some more edits.

Side note, pls stop changing your tag to "needs reviewer" if you lose your tag from edits I'll put it back for you.
 
Switching to an Allar seedling gets it a little bit closer appearance wise, but there are still a few issues and it creates more problems then it solves in the life story.
  • I should be clear no form of Yanar have hair. They all have some type of plant construct that replaces hair. Refer to this page for a little more specifics: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Yanar The Allar seedling will have some type of wooden antlers.
  • I'm not certain where the name Dahlia came from, but it neither has Nelfin nor Allar origins, so it is still not a good name for this character. Also in the message you created and deleted about 45 minutes seems to confirm that the nickname is inspired by an anime. If it is, please remove it.
  • All of the Allar that are in Teled Methen are slaves to the Altalar there. As an Allar seedingly in Teled Methen, you'd have been forced to labor for Altalar, not free to pursue your artistic desires. It wouldn't be impossible to be an artist, but you would need to be a lot more on the down low and learning it against your master's wishes. You also wouldn't be able to get a job one day selling art however you wish. No Allar seedling would be taken seriously in this region even if they did manage to set up shop somehow. They would also not be free to leave whenever they want. I get from your writing that you are going for more of a feel-good innocent happy character and you may not want all of this dark stuff in your life story, but that's part of what you are buying into by picking a minority second class citizen race who is almost universally oppressed. I honestly think your best bet to maintain the essence of the things you have written is to completely change to an Ailor Ithanian-Champagnard and choose a name that is more french in origin. I could be completely off base and gotten the wrong impression, but I've seen a lot of this character apps and I think this is your best bet to get the RP you are trying to get.
Suffice to say, you need to take a harder look at the character's appearance and life story and make sure that your upbringing is culturally relevant and your appearance falls into the parameters provided by the race/subrace. Tag me after some more edits.

Side note, pls stop changing your tag to "needs reviewer" if you lose your tag from edits I'll put it back for you.
The nickname isn't inspired by an anime it was the nickname that came from person who gave me the character, I don't watch animes. and her "hair" is a plant. Its a sort of white grassy textured plant that has the Jonquil flower growing on opposite sides of her head. And the Jonquil flower is also where she gets her name from. And the name Dahlia came from a plant it is also her new original last name instead of Edelweiss, but I'll change it. And I'll add some sort of wooden antler type structure to her appearance.

I have made the edits @TheOverseer__
 
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A few notes yet:
  • There is no such thing as white grass.
  • Naming conventions for Allar are Varying vowels with double L,S and Z. Altalar names follow traditional fantasy elf structures. This is a decent name generator http://fantasynamegenerators.com/elf_names.php#.WKuLtPkrJPY Your name is going to follow one of these two things because your character was born into one or the other of these cultures. It's the same reason you don't meet very many native born Chinese people named "John." It doesn't happen because that's not how their culture names people. There can be exceptions to these rules, but these are fairly few and far between and would need to be explained in the life story. For instance, I know a character named Dahlia Greenvine that was named this way because they were found amongst these things as an orphan and it was the first thing that popped into the one who found them's head. I wouldn't suggest copying somebody else's exact name or method, but that's an example of how you might end up with a name other than the cultural norm and how you might document it in the life story.
  • I figured I'd throw this out there since your message seemed to ask about these points, but I'll assume you are going to work on the cultural contradictions as well.
Tag me once the full edits are made.
 
It's hard to see with that grainy picture of a single blade of grass from 1989, but that grass is quite green. Here are 13 modern HD photos of that exact variety of grass showing it is quite green. I am not trying to be mean, but there is no such thing as white grass.

http://www.invasive.org/browse/subthumb.cfm?sub=54477

There are a ton of white leaves in nature, I'd be fine with white leaves, but there is no white grass.

The changing over to Hadar does make things more normal for her growing up, though so that solves a lot of the cultural issues. It is kind of a war zone, so a super normal childhood is less likely, but not completely impossible. So I'll let that pass.
 
It's hard to see with that grainy picture of a single blade of grass from 1989, but that grass is quite green. Here are 13 modern HD photos of that exact variety of grass showing it is quite green. I am not trying to be mean, but there is no such thing as white grass.

http://www.invasive.org/browse/subthumb.cfm?sub=54477

There are a ton of white leaves in nature, I'd be fine with white leaves, but there is no white grass.

The changing over to Hadar does make things more normal for her growing up, though so that solves a lot of the cultural issues. It is kind of a war zone, so a super normal childhood is less likely, but not completely impossible. So I'll let that pass.
Oh sorry! I didn't see the date on the picture. I changed her hair details and I added extra information to her life story!

@TheOverseer__
 
I think that'll do it. Thanks for bearing with me.

Approved!
 
Added traits "Supportive" and "Traumatized". I also updated her life story about the event that made her traumatized.

@TheOverseer__
 
Your art still looks like she has hair instead of white leaves. There is no mandate that art be lore compliant, so I am not going to hold back approval for it, just know that the art really isn't lore complaint.

On the other edits, can you highlight what you have added/changed in another color so I can see it more readily.
 
Your art still looks like she has hair instead of white leaves. There is no mandate that art be lore compliant, so I am not going to hold back approval for it, just know that the art really isn't lore complaint.

On the other edits, can you highlight what you have added/changed in another color so I can see it more readily.
Changed all additions/ changes to Yellow
 
I'm not willing to make a 21 year old self taught artist not poor. There is absolutely no way somebody that young does anywhere near enough business from art to do anything more than making barely enough money to survive. That sort of thing rarely even happens in the real world with people who are given fair and equal opportunities. There is a fair part of the city of Regalia who won't buy your art just because you are a Yanar, let alone the fact that artists are generally poor as it is. The personality traits are fine, though.
 
I'm not willing to make a 21 year old self taught artist not poor. There is absolutely no way somebody that young does anywhere near enough business from art to do anything more than making barely enough money to survive. That sort of thing rarely even happens in the real world with people who are given fair and equal opportunities. There is a fair part of the city of Regalia who won't buy your art just because you are a Yanar, let alone the fact that artists are generally poor as it is. The personality traits are fine, though.
She opened a herb shop which has been getting a lot of business lately, if you haven noticed :p
 
Nope. I didn't notice since it wasn't in your approved version and you didn't highlight it, as requested. Next time you made more edits, make sure to bring attention to all of the changes. They opened the shop 4 days ago, not really sure how they'd have the money to even open it up given the facts of this character. Even if they did manage to get money somewhere to open it, 4 days of profits isn't anywhere near enough to be considered wealthy.
 
Nope. I didn't notice since it wasn't in your approved version and you didn't highlight it, as requested. Next time you made more edits, make sure to bring attention to all of the changes. They opened the shop 4 days ago, not really sure how they'd have the money to even open it up given the facts of this character. Even if they did manage to get money somewhere to open it, 4 days of profits isn't anywhere near enough to be considered wealthy.
Okay! I'll change that then. And sorry! I thought I included it in the expansion but I suppose I didn't. I added the link. Is there anything else? :D
 
The character is fine where it is so I will set it approved.

Friendly advice though, you may want to pull the Nightshade and Ogrebait off your inventory list since they are controlled substances in Regalia, you'd be arrested for having them in your shop.