- Joined
- Jun 29, 2014
- Messages
- 145
- Reaction score
- 578
- Points
- 493
- Age
- 24
Talib Ansari
Joey's late best friend. A person he might not see again.
Not for any fatal reasons, but simply because, as Joey sees it, he had betrayed this person. Betrayed what he had stood for, and had paid for it with abandonment.
While this is not the absolute truth of it, and Talib's perspective of the events is certainly in contrast to Joey's, the above is the only way he can see it. Much of Joey's current day beliefs and personality is a direct consequence and sometimes a mirror of this person. Although, Joey can never bring himself to reconnect with Talib. The amount of shame he feels is too great to allow for that.
There is also an underlying feeling of anger. The feeling that he was the one who had been betrayed. Out of all the emotions Joey feels towards Talib currently, this is amongst the most deep-seated.
Joey's late best friend. A person he might not see again.
Not for any fatal reasons, but simply because, as Joey sees it, he had betrayed this person. Betrayed what he had stood for, and had paid for it with abandonment.
While this is not the absolute truth of it, and Talib's perspective of the events is certainly in contrast to Joey's, the above is the only way he can see it. Much of Joey's current day beliefs and personality is a direct consequence and sometimes a mirror of this person. Although, Joey can never bring himself to reconnect with Talib. The amount of shame he feels is too great to allow for that.
There is also an underlying feeling of anger. The feeling that he was the one who had been betrayed. Out of all the emotions Joey feels towards Talib currently, this is amongst the most deep-seated.
- Full Name: Joey Lamb
- Both the fore and surnames are adopted, rather than having been parentally granted.
- Age: Fifteen years old
- This is personally unknown to Joey. If one were to ask him, the rough estimate would be fifteen/sixteen.
- Gender: Male
- Race: Half-Elf. Shenath Kathar, and Ailor mixture
- Exact Ailor culture is unknowable, and certainly not one the Half-Elf has any ties to, similarly with Kathar, despite appearing almost entirely like the latter race.
- Sexuality: Homosexual
- However, largely undiscovered by Joey himself, and likely to be kept under wraps were it discovered.
- Preferred Weapon: Anything. He is equally terrible with all of them.
Total Points: 15, as per Age.
- Body Proficiency
- +13 Rogue Training (+13 from Points)
- As far as skills go, This is what could be considered Joey's magnum opus. He shows an almost natural affinity for it, particularly when it comes to skills related to his hands. Quick fingers, ambidextrous control and sleight of hand. Meanwhile, he is only half as good at sneaking and shadowing. Camouflage and Assassination are not skills he possesses at all.
Along with these, Joey has an aptitude for juggling.
- As far as skills go, This is what could be considered Joey's magnum opus. He shows an almost natural affinity for it, particularly when it comes to skills related to his hands. Quick fingers, ambidextrous control and sleight of hand. Meanwhile, he is only half as good at sneaking and shadowing. Camouflage and Assassination are not skills he possesses at all.
- +13 Rogue Training (+13 from Points)
- Undecided Proficiency
- +2 Reserved for Later (+2 from Points)
- Basically, I can not decide on a second proficiency for this character. Should that remain the case, these points will be added to Rogue training, otherwise, though, three of the points from above will be used to bump a newly chosen proficiency to 5.
- +2 Reserved for Later (+2 from Points)
- Zero Physical Stat
- Slim Body Shape
- Low Body Fat
- Common (Illiterate)
- Eye Color: Emerald Green
- Hair Color: Jet Black
- Hair Style: Short
- Skin Color: Medium Dark Gray
- Clothing: Varied
- Height: 5'6
- Fear
- The expression of this emotion, like all others, can barely be generalized. As it depends on the exact source and the exact severity. But, as a thin generalization, Joey has a habit of suppressing fear. He always attempts to force fear down and replace it with courageousness, as false as that feeling might be in any given scenario. However, while this might work in particular situations, in most instances, it will not save him. And his natural reaction might override the one he forces onto himself. In times where he breaks out of his almost practiced attitude, he might end up resembling a cornered animal. Squirmy, unpredictable, and prone to lashing out, should he be afraid of something he can fight. Such things are the most likely to induce such a reaction.
More abstract fears will seldom bring that on, stuff like darkness, heights, and tight spaces. When it comes to things similar to those, a fight or flight reaction just isn't that common, if it happens at all.
For the most part, the above reaction is one that is born from a lack of control. If there was a level of danger present but Joey was more or less in control of the situation, his facade of courage will typically remain.
- The expression of this emotion, like all others, can barely be generalized. As it depends on the exact source and the exact severity. But, as a thin generalization, Joey has a habit of suppressing fear. He always attempts to force fear down and replace it with courageousness, as false as that feeling might be in any given scenario. However, while this might work in particular situations, in most instances, it will not save him. And his natural reaction might override the one he forces onto himself. In times where he breaks out of his almost practiced attitude, he might end up resembling a cornered animal. Squirmy, unpredictable, and prone to lashing out, should he be afraid of something he can fight. Such things are the most likely to induce such a reaction.
- Stress
- Just as the above behavior, stress is something that Joey often wants to suppress. Perhaps even more so than fear. Things that are bothering him will always be kept out of other people's mind if the halfling can help it. The biggest reason for this is his desire not to be a burden to anybody, His problems are his problems. This philosophy, time after time, creates situations in where Joey will bottle his feelings up, leave them bubbling inside of him for as long as he can take it, and only letting it out in cases where he is alone and simply can not handle the stuff anymore.
Over everything else, Joey hates crying. It is his most despised reaction, and, even if he's alone, the boy will do his utmost to avoid it. Never does he feel more disgusting and weak than when a tear slips out.
- Just as the above behavior, stress is something that Joey often wants to suppress. Perhaps even more so than fear. Things that are bothering him will always be kept out of other people's mind if the halfling can help it. The biggest reason for this is his desire not to be a burden to anybody, His problems are his problems. This philosophy, time after time, creates situations in where Joey will bottle his feelings up, leave them bubbling inside of him for as long as he can take it, and only letting it out in cases where he is alone and simply can not handle the stuff anymore.
- Happiness
- Ignoring the possibility and intricacies of feigned happiness, which is very much a real thing for this character considering the above category, Joey isn't all that complex in his happiness. He smiles and laughs just as much as anybody else would, whilst truly happy.
And when he is not, the greatest sign is if he fails to find the humor in anything. Which should be a clear indicator on its own, considering Joey typically finds humor in everything.
- Ignoring the possibility and intricacies of feigned happiness, which is very much a real thing for this character considering the above category, Joey isn't all that complex in his happiness. He smiles and laughs just as much as anybody else would, whilst truly happy.
- Authority/Law
- Evil. The greatest evil. Something worthy of rebellion at every turn. That is the core philosophy that Joey holds when it comes to authority and the law. The greater it is, the more he wishes that it would come tumbling down. However, this belief is starkly at odds with his self-preservation. Joey would never express these opinions openly and in the case of truly powerful figures of authority, such as the government in general, the idea of sole rebellion is just mad enough for him to never attempt it.
- Other Races
- The only races that Joey has any significant opinions about are Ailor, Kathar and Kaleir. For the former, there is an elevated feeling of distrust and caution. He is prone to believe the worst of all Ailorkind, but not so much as for this idea to be unchallengeable, by certain individuals.
As for Kathar, he is caught between curiosity and caution when it comes to this race. There is a feeling that he might find some sense of belonging amongst these people, as Joey thinks they are truly 'his people'. But, there is also a lingering mistrust. A belief that, while he isn't worthy of the hatred leveled towards him, as a Kathar, maybe there might be a grain of truth behind it? After all, the hatred has to come from somewhere, even as he tries to fight against this kettle of reasoning.
The Kaleir simply remind him of Talib, and thus, he is naturally sad around them. Though he feels nothing about this Half-Race specifically.
All of these beliefs are subject to change, as well as the potential addition of other races.
- The only races that Joey has any significant opinions about are Ailor, Kathar and Kaleir. For the former, there is an elevated feeling of distrust and caution. He is prone to believe the worst of all Ailorkind, but not so much as for this idea to be unchallengeable, by certain individuals.
- Religion
- There is nothing particularly interesting about Joey's feelings towards Religion. He is casually a Unionist, though he is not an especially devout one. He believes in the Imperial spirit, but he is not extremely well versed on the ins and outs of the faith or even the creeds.
- Arcane Forces
- Joey has even less of an opinion of the Arcane than he does with Religion. The boy's interactions with such forces have been absolute zilch. Though, because of this, it could be said that encountering anything of Arcane origin would leave him in a sense of wonder.
- Family
- To the void with them. Any thoughts of his family are stray, random ones, speculations, what-if scenarios and the like.
- Pride
- Stealing. Joey is a complete magpie, a hoarder of items he shouldn't have. Stealing things from others has ascended from a necessity into almost an obsession. Most of the things he plunders from others aren't even stuff that he needs and, oftentimes, they just become things that he holds onto for no reason at all other than being proud that he took it.
In general, skills relating to fine control of his hands are things he takes pride in, but thieving trumps most things.
When not accounting for Joey's sheer ego, that is. There is a slight bit of narcissism associated to Joey's persona, one that consistently invites a level of cockiness and sarcasm to most situations. When Joey does not take something seriously, this attitude of his will surely bleed through.
And there are very few things he tends to take seriously.
- Stealing. Joey is a complete magpie, a hoarder of items he shouldn't have. Stealing things from others has ascended from a necessity into almost an obsession. Most of the things he plunders from others aren't even stuff that he needs and, oftentimes, they just become things that he holds onto for no reason at all other than being proud that he took it.
- Insecurity
- A feeling of inferiority. No matter how much Joey tries to fight against the idea, the concept that he is intrinsically inferior is one that has, in a small way, been successfully beaten into his head. This mainly manifests in the halfling categorizing himself as less important than other people, along with being the cause of a certain self-deprecating sense of humor, although never to the point of true self-sabotage. Overall this is a conscious thing. Something that Joey might proclaim grimly, but, in most circumstances this belief does not ring true. A conscious feeling of inferiority stands in stark duality to a subconscious feeling of superiority. If these two parts were to interlace, Joey would certainly feel he was no better or worse than anybody else, but as it is, he simply teeters between, almost depending on his mood. During high, jovial times, his own inferiority is something that never touches his mind, but, during his lows, it certainly counts amongst one of the things he can't stop thinking about.
Overall, it could be said that Joey's biggest insecurity is the insecurity itself. It's something he consistently tries to fight against. But, it is a habit that defies most attempts at being trained out.
- A feeling of inferiority. No matter how much Joey tries to fight against the idea, the concept that he is intrinsically inferior is one that has, in a small way, been successfully beaten into his head. This mainly manifests in the halfling categorizing himself as less important than other people, along with being the cause of a certain self-deprecating sense of humor, although never to the point of true self-sabotage. Overall this is a conscious thing. Something that Joey might proclaim grimly, but, in most circumstances this belief does not ring true. A conscious feeling of inferiority stands in stark duality to a subconscious feeling of superiority. If these two parts were to interlace, Joey would certainly feel he was no better or worse than anybody else, but as it is, he simply teeters between, almost depending on his mood. During high, jovial times, his own inferiority is something that never touches his mind, but, during his lows, it certainly counts amongst one of the things he can't stop thinking about.
- Motivation
- From the above concept, comes the idea of his motivation. The feeling of inferiority is one that is in stark contrast and conflict with almost the opposite, not so much a feeling of superiority so much as the idea that he can prove he is worthy of something. That he is worthy of the life he was given. It is the belief that if the Kathar are truly evil as a race, he will be the outlier. He will not disprove anything, on account of his whole race, only in the case of himself.
To escape the perception that has followed him throughout his existence is something Joey would nearly do anything for.
Well, aside from providing any sacrifice towards a far greater goal. Personal absolvement has always felt the most realistic to him, the least slippery, the least prone to issues. But if one were to hone in on his sense of idealism, that goal, in particular, becomes minuscule, and it becomes clear that his belief system is a good deal more Jacobin and heretical in its intent. Invariably, Freedom has become the thing Joey wants to strive towards. A world in which people like him don't need to exist. People with an inferiority complex laden deep into their psyche, for being who they are, a complex brought onto them by the world.
Kathar, Silven, Mages, and all others. In any place under any scenario, they have all been born into this world. And Joey feels this is a qualification towards every one of them belonging to it without hatred. To bring such a world into fruition has to be his highest goal, beyond anything personal.
If there was ever a plan or framework that the boy saw towards achieving this goal, one that provided a reasonable chance of success against the possibility of his life being forfeited, he would surely pursue it.
- From the above concept, comes the idea of his motivation. The feeling of inferiority is one that is in stark contrast and conflict with almost the opposite, not so much a feeling of superiority so much as the idea that he can prove he is worthy of something. That he is worthy of the life he was given. It is the belief that if the Kathar are truly evil as a race, he will be the outlier. He will not disprove anything, on account of his whole race, only in the case of himself.
- Biggest Fear
- The idea that he might not reconnect with Talib.
Now, this is not what Joey would say if he was specifically asked about the things he feared in life. If answering 'truthfully' he'd probably come up with something common like spiders, or heights, etc. However, Talib occupies his thoughts near constantly. In some ways, the boy even subconsciously replicates this old friend. No matter how much Joey feels he hates Talib for leaving him, the idea that he might never make amends with the Kaleir is the most frightful thing for him. If he were to die without doing this, this specific failure would certainly be the only thing on his mind.
However, his fear of losing Talib forever is also what keeps him from personally pursuing the orphan. After all, what if everything he thinks he's done is true? What if Talib does not want anything to do with him any longer? Such an event would surely break Joey.
It all centers around this person, next to Talib and the memory of their time together everything becomes unimportant.
- The idea that he might not reconnect with Talib.
| 0 - 5 |
- Joey, for one, was not "Joey" for a while. Abandoned in a Regalian orphanage early on, by parents whose tie to one another can only be speculated upon. Early on, he was just a "thing". A baby that the orphanage's matron only kept because of a tiny feeling of pity, and a sense of obligation.
- As far as wealth went, the orphanage was not overly fortunate, nor impoverished. It got its share of business and most of the kids ate well. But, first and foremost, the establishment was an Ailor one. Owned by good Unionists, for good Unionists. From the beginning, Joey was very much a secret, from anybody outside of the orphanage. Appearances demanded that he remained this way. And so, he didn't get regular lodgings and was barely ever allowed out and about, within the building. And, of course, he never really got to go outside.
- It was mostly because of the intervention of the other kids within the orphanage that he even managed to live long enough to learn to feed himself. Particularly through the efforts of the younger kids, the ones most viable to feel pity towards the newest addition to the orphanage. After all, there were no instructions or overbearing coaching that the boy was 'bad', nor orders to stay away from him.
- And so, it was because of this that the half-breed survived to the age of Five.
| 5 - 10 |
- By this point, the name 'Joey' had been well ingrained in the boy's mind. It was the idea of one of the older kids, one of the few to ever hold an interest in raising the boy. The name was based on somebody who'd been adopted years ago. 'Lamb' however, came from a children's book the other kids had shared with him. It was mainly Joey's idea, because, one of his main characters within the book was, in fact, a Lamb. And so, 'Joey Lamb' was born.
- Overall, the Halfling's life within the orphanage was idyllic. In spite of his general isolation and comparative lack of tending to, he was still well-fed and warm, content with his place.
- It would have certainly remained this way until adulthood, if not for the inclusion of another Half-breed within the orphanage. A Kaleir of seven years old, Talib Ansari. Unlike the then six-year-old Joey, the head matron felt no need to isolate this boy, at least, not at first. However, his actions within the establishment would soon regulate him to a status similar to Joey. Talib was routinely the cause of problems. With him around things would go missing, and the number of broken noses among the orphanage's population skyrocketed.
- It wasn't long until he was simply not allowed to bunk with the good children of the orphanage, and was forced into the same cramped dwelling as Joey. This would spell the beginning of the end for Joey's contentment, as Talib became his largest influence. Both because of their newfound proximity and because Joey was the only one the Kaleir did not cause problems for. Instead, Joey became somebody who caused problems with Talib, becoming a sidekick of sorts. And the whole time, Talib made his opinions of their place within the orphanage known, and, just as the Kaleir did, Joey began to hate the place, he began to see it less and less as a home and more of a cage.
- He was about eight years old when it became neither. As both him and Talib were kicked out, left with only the clothes on their back and some small scraps of food. Now left to fend for themselves.
- It was always Talib that led the way with this. He led the both of them into a life of thievery and living wherever they could. It was a life in which they only had each other.
| 10 - 15 |
- Overall, this new life that Joey had been thrown into was a poor one. In the orphanage, his status within the Empire was a distant one, something he did not need to be aware of. But, on the streets, it became very clear just how much of an outsider he was. To most, he was very clearly a Kathar, indistinguishable from a pure-blood of that race, even to Talib, even to himself. And as a Kathar would be treated, so was he.
- Talib was his only real protection, emotionally and physically. He was shielded from brutality most of the time sheerly because of Talib. It was not something he was completely unaccustomed to, however. Especially when it came to run-ins with the authorities. All of these factors caused a desire for caution to be integrated into Joey. And he became the voice of caution, amongst himself and Talib, if only slightly.
- However, this was something of conflict amongst the pair. Talib was free and wild, no matter the danger. And while Joey was almost the same, there were still plenty of times where he thought they should step back, not take certain risks. Because of this, it consistently became harder and harder for the two of them to agree on anything. And, eventually, this caused them to break away from each other.
- As was typical, this was Talib's idea. And it was the first for which the boy showcased any reluctance. Still, Talib spoke to Joey. And told him that it was necessary that they stopped traveling together. Joey could pursue a safer life, and Talib could continue with the life he wanted to live.
- This is a moment of great regret for Joey, because, rather than beg or cry, as he wanted to do, the boy only said 'Okay', and that was that. The last thing he ever wanted was to appear weak in front of Talib, but, a year later from that point. He still wishes he had, and a safer life was never found. Rather, he kept up the example Talib showcased. Maintaining that old lifestyle, always with the belief that he was a fool to question it.
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