I'm Sorry To The Community, And Every Single Person Apart Of It

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GafferWolf

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"The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator, not an ENEMY." - John Franzen


I am honestly very sorry for this, and I hope I will get lots of advice on help, and ways to show I'm sorry. If I have ever done this to anyone on the server I apologize, and I promise I will never do such a thing again

Most of you don't know why I'm saying this because you probably didn't know me eleven months ago. Eleven months ago I was a selfish idiot that was going with an extremely rough time that everyone eventually has to go through, and the main one was my dad losing his fight to Leukemia , but it doesn't make what I've done acceptable.

I'm banned forever from the actual server itself, but not the forums. The reason why is because I was "Telling player to kill herself, and harassing." Sounds like a mistake, but its the truth. There were reasons why I said this, but it's still outrageous, and I deserved every part of this. Since my ban the first six months I felt like something was missing inside if of me, and that was this. Imagine a great world where everyone is allowed to go to, but not you. This world was a place where I could be me, and its gone. Don't feel bad for me, cause it doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is me showing the world that I have changed! The past eleven months seemed like torture at first, but then it started to feel like it was a gift. A time for me to think about what I've done, and ways to change it. Believe it or not I found another stress relief for this. Wrestling. Wrestling is a sport I've been doing since I was five or six. The way I would get rid of my stress is using all of that long held up anger, and use it on the mat, and it worked, like really well. Good enough for a scholarship scout to come, and watch me wrestle. I'm very proud of what I've become through wrestling. If you have interacted with me recently you will notice I like to make everyone happy now. Just recently someone else's character name was Rye. I cannot role-play on the forums, but I can make characters which I may use if I do ever get unbanned, which I'm unsure of. So someone else said His characters name was Rye and threw in a joke as well. He didn't mind me having the name, but I didn't want a negative impression, so I changed it. I've decided that I'm sick and tired to be known as the douchebag anymore. I want to be known as the nice, kind, and generous friend. I loath what people think of me now, and I'm determined to change it by any means necessary. Please give me advice on how to change, because I still have little work to do. Any type of advice I promise I will try.
 
the biggest thing I would say is resolve. it's probably the fastest way, but also one of the most difficult paths.
basically, set boundaries for yourself. put limits on what you can, and cannot do/say. decide who you want to be, and then be that person. keep these boundaries, and the specific rules to them, and never break them (write them down if you must). these rules then not only effect who you are in essence, but serve as a metaphor. breaking these rules would be breaking your resolve, and to do that would set you back to ground zero, reducing your efforts for naught.

e.g. I have been obscenely vain and prideful, so I make these rules:
  • if I hurt the feelings of others, I must apologize
  • speak down to no one
  • put others before myself
the first rule would probably be the most difficult, as well as the greatest source of pain, the second changes the way others perceive me, and the third is something that I would do instinctively, and must fight to correct.

with these rules set in place you must be the polar opposite of lenient. there is no punishment for failing any of these rules (this part is important) except that you've become what you fought against to begin with. this is in essence to make sure that you're changing, and simply not fearing self-inflicted punishment.



with all that said, the key to this is to not once break your resolve. once you break it, you'll make an excuse as to why it happened in that specific situation, and give yourself the smallest bit of leeway, which will most definitely lead to a complete (albeit gradual) decline in the success of this program.

this is how I personally bring about change, so you could say it works, although definitely not for everyone.



and remember, if you truly wish to attain anything, you must be willing to sacrifice everything. it is for our ideals that we die.
 
I, despite not knowing you, think that this was an apology worthy of respect. The only path for you now is forward. I hope that you are unbanned, and get to join this world again.
 
Well as you said, I don't remember you from 11 months ago. However, I can say that you have obviously gone through the one major phase of being banned. that most people somehow seem unable to get through, which is accepting that you were banned because you did something wrong. That is a huge sign of maturity on your part, and also that you are willing to mend your ways. I really only have one piece of advice to you. No matter what happens, remember:
Don't be a jerk.
Honestly you probably have that gotten down now, but no one can be perfect 100% of the time, so whenever you find yourself getting really annoyed at someone for whatever reason, just remember: Don't be a jerk. They probably have their reason for doing what they are too.

I wish you the best of luck in getting your Ban Appeal passed, if/when you make one. And may your father Requisact in Pacem.
 
RIP. Didn't think I'd feel this way today. Ehm. Well, as I haven't been as active as I wish I would of been, and don't know you, I can't say much about this. Though, if what you say is true, then I can tell that at least some change has happened for you, and that you've stabilized. I hope that you get unbanned so you can show the rest of us just how much you've truthfully changed. Also, I'm sorry for your father. I'm sure he was a very nice man.
 
Than you all so much for the advice. My eyes honestly started to water. Thank you again so much for the compliments, and constructive critism :)
 
I have only been on the server for about four months, even less so on the forums, but I have known some real jerks (to put it lightly) in my life who sometimes act like that out of bitter resentment. Nonetheless, most often many just slap "Ya, sure. I'm sorry," out there and think that fixes everything. It doesn't.
However, you don't seem to be one of those people. Many who are able to maturely accept that they have:
  • Done something wrong
  • Been a jerk to others
  • Been punished fairly for their actions
  • and have found a way to keep their mind off of it and not just spam the staff with "FREAKIN' UNBAN ME!"
Those are the people who deserve a second chance. I don't mean a reluctant second chance either. If your attitude really has changed, which I believe it has, you definitely deserve an unban. I wish you luck!~
 
Gabauchi said:
the biggest thing I would say is resolve. it's probably the fastest way, but also one of the most difficult paths.
basically, set boundaries for yourself. put limits on what you can, and cannot do/say. decide who you want to be, and then be that person. keep these boundaries, and the specific rules to them, and never break them (write them down if you must). these rules then not only effect who you are in essence, but serve as a metaphor. breaking these rules would be breaking your resolve, and to do that would set you back to ground zero, reducing your efforts for naught.

e.g. I have been obscenely vain and prideful, so I make these rules:
  • if I hurt the feelings of others, I must apologize
  • speak down to no one
  • put others before myself
the first rule would probably be the most difficult, as well as the greatest source of pain, the second changes the way others perceive me, and the third is something that I would do instinctively, and must fight to correct.

with these rules set in place you must be the polar opposite of lenient. there is no punishment for failing any of these rules (this part is important) except that you've become what you fought against to begin with. this is in essence to make sure that you're changing, and simply not fearing self-inflicted punishment.



with all that said, the key to this is to not once break your resolve. once you break it, you'll make an excuse as to why it happened in that specific situation, and give yourself the smallest bit of leeway, which will most definitely lead to a complete (albeit gradual) decline in the success of this program.

this is how I personally bring about change, so you could say it works, although definitely not for everyone.



and remember, if you truly wish to attain anything, you must be willing to sacrifice everything. it is for our ideals that we die.
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I will definitely try this! Great Job for the help! :)
 
Winterclaw12 said:
I have only been on the server for about four months, even less so on the forums, but I have known some real jerks (to put it lightly) in my life who sometimes act like that out of bitter resentment. Nonetheless, most often many just slap "Ya, sure. I'm sorry," out there and think that fixes everything. It doesn't.
However, you don't seem to be one of those people. Many who are able to maturely accept that they have:
  • Done something wrong
  • Been a jerk to others
  • Been punished fairly for their actions
  • and have found a way to keep their mind off of it and not just spam the staff with "FREAKIN' UNBAN ME!"
Those are the people who deserve a second chance. I don't mean a reluctant second chance either. If your attitude really has changed, which I believe it has, you definitely deserve an unban. I wish you luck!~
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Click to shrink...
Thank you so much :) You sound like a great guy from when we last talked when I updated my status. :)
 
You are all great people, because no one who is not would say such touching and effective things, and if you don't mind, I wish not to be reminded of my dad. I'm sure you understand why. I got so happy. :) :) :) You all deserve a virtual hug xD
 
Alright, here I am to post a more mature and useful comment.
C'mon Drac, you've been told not to read threads, write threads, or comment on threads when you're tired. You really shouldn't even be allowed to touch the forum pages when you're sleepy...
I truly admire your ability to admit that you did something wrong. I know how difficult that is. I too can be a complete jerk to people, not just virtually but also in reality. I know what it's like to inadvertently act out on whim based off of all the crap rampaging through your physical, mental, and emotional stability. In fact, I do that exact thing. I have found that gaming and posting on the forums has actually been one of the many things that has helped me. I find that talking to friendly people who don't know anything about me in reality, is actually psychologically helpful to me. Because they don't know me irl, they don't know what Im going through, and they can't stereotype me. I hope that you get unbanned so that you can experience this too. It truly is a nice feeling to be able to speak to people without anxiety about being misjudged. Fellowship, communication, compassion, repentance, kindness, and reform are all important, in reality and virtual reality.
You are an unbelievably admirable person for coming out to admit this and then working toward your path to standing eye to eye with those who you've wronged. I wish I had the physical capability to be able to do such things for myself as well.
 
PurpleDrac said:
Alright, here I am to post a more mature and useful comment.
C'mon Drac, you've been told not to read threads, write threads, or comment on threads when you're tired. You really shouldn't even be allowed to touch the forum pages when you're sleepy...
I truly admire your ability to admit that you did something wrong. I know how difficult that is. I too can be a complete jerk to people, not just virtually but also in reality. I know what it's like to inadvertently act out on whim based off of all the crap rampaging through your physical, mental, and emotional stability. In fact, I do that exact thing. I have found that gaming and posting on the forums has actually been one of the many things that has helped me. I find that talking to friendly people who don't know anything about me in reality, is actually psychologically helpful to me. Because they don't know me irl, they don't know what Im going through, and they can't stereotype me. I hope that you get unbanned so that you can experience this too. It truly is a nice feeling to be able to speak to people without anxiety about being misjudged. Fellowship, communication, compassion, repentance, kindness, and reform are all important, in reality and virtual reality.
You are an unbelievably admirable person for coming out to admit this and then working toward your path to standing eye to eye with those who you've wronged. I wish I had the physical capability to be able to do such things for myself as well.
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Thank you! If you want I can help you. Don't let things bug you, and if someones bullying you or being unkind at school or the forums. You should definitely tell whoever is in charge. :) My advice to a friend! :) :)
 
I would have no problem with that, as you seem like a nice guy based on when we've talked on statuses and whatnot. I'm not sure if we're allowed to vouch, however, and a better method may be to tag the staff to this thread to see what support you've gotten and your message that you've been trying to convey. That's just my advice, but it may be different for others, so don't take my word for it entirely.
 
I'm a little late to the party, but where applicable: Pro-actively Positive, not Re-actively Negative.
 
Im late to this thread, but wow... All I can say is WOW this is heartwarming to me, I wish all people could change as much as you have. You sir, are amazing. I have autism and it was hard learning how to control it, but after a while I managed. Just remember to always keeps a positive attitude.
 
"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward" -"Fridtjof Nansen"
One of my favorite quotes. ^^ It's in my signature, thought it could really apply to this :)

"Those who do not follow the rules are scum. Those who would not break the rules to save their comrades, are far worse than scum." -Obito
Another quote that I like^^ It doesn't matter what you've done, as long as you go through even more than you already have just to fix it :)
@Jazzily
 
Jazzily said:
ust recently someone else's character name was Rye. I cannot role-play on the forums, but I can make characters which I may use if I do ever get unbanned, which I'm unsure of. So someone else said His characters name was Rye and threw in a joke as well. He didn't mind me having the name, but I didn't want a negative impression, so I changed it.
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i feel hella bad for joking now i never wanted you to change it man ;-;
 
I just- I- *sigh* I can't say I've been through such, but I may have known some people who gone through similar... I just read and I saw a man trying to figure out how to deal with things, and just to be banned from the server? I come to the server when I'm feeling down or completely stressed, I can't imagine what it feels like, I wish I was there 11 months ago to help... I honestly joined the server 5-6 months ago... I feel for you, and wish you further glorious days, and I hope you get unbanned so I can Rp with you, or maybe just talk, I don't know... Just stay happy and I'm here for you, and I hope everyone else is.
 
I might sound rude or insensitive in what I am about to say so be advised. I moonbrother known as many different usernames as well, is here to tell you why your Banment should still be active. Before people start yelling at me let me get to the point. I was banned from a server (that is now shut down) Two years or more ago. I was one of the most powerful mages there even earned myself the name "Death". I was banned for a similar offence, more along the line of threatening. I knew I was in the wrong, I made several "heart warming stories" but it did not matter. I was also going through a hard time at that moment and began boasting about my strengths and being a complete dick. I then threatened someone, told them to end their miserable life or I would do it myself. Little did I know he was also going through a stressful time. He later was found bleeding from the wrists because of my actions, found by his sister the head admin of this server. you must realize that the person you taunted could of hurt themselves as well. I pondered and sadly moped from the bottom of my heart about how sorry I was, didn't change the fact he now has scars on his wrist from me. I know what I was doing was wrong. That being said, I feel as though your only saying sorry because you want a chance to be unbanned. I deserved to suffer and watch my favorite server disperse into the void of nothingness without me in it. Before it ended, I joined it with another MC account, my friends welcomed me cherished my stay, gave me more magic then I had before. I knew I never deserved it, so I told the admins it was me, and got banned again, because deep down in my heart i deserved it. Moral of the story, I think I knew what you were doing was wrong, but you didn't accept it until after you were banned.
 
moonbrother said:
I might sound rude or insensitive in what I am about to say so be advised. I moonbrother known as many different usernames as well, is here to tell you why your Banment should still be active. Before people start yelling at me let me get to the point. I was banned from a server (that is now shut down) Two years or more ago. I was one of the most powerful mages there even earned myself the name "Death". I was banned for a similar offence, more along the line of threatening. I knew I was in the wrong, I made several "heart warming stories" but it did not matter. I was also going through a hard time at that moment and began boasting about my strengths and being a complete dick. I then threatened someone, told them to end their miserable life or I would do it myself. Little did I know he was also going through a stressful time. He later was found bleeding from the wrists because of my actions, found by his sister the head admin of this server. you must realize that the person you taunted could of hurt themselves as well. I pondered and sadly moped from the bottom of my heart about how sorry I was, didn't change the fact he now has scars on his wrist from me. I know what I was doing was wrong. That being said, I feel as though your only saying sorry because you want a chance to be unbanned. I deserved to suffer and watch my favorite server disperse into the void of nothingness without me in it. Before it ended, I joined it with another MC account, my friends welcomed me cherished my stay, gave me more magic then I had before. I knew I never deserved it, so I told the admins it was me, and got banned again, because deep down in my heart i deserved it. Moral of the story, I think I knew what you were doing was wrong, but you didn't accept it until after you were banned.
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Amazing! Made my heart melt just reading this.
 
StereoTurtle said:
i feel hella bad for joking now i never wanted you to change it man ;-;
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No need. Halflar is way cooler than Rye. I didn't think I would change it at first. I want to thank you for doing that because it wasn't even an elvish name. It wouldn't have helped my app if his name was that, but you said that and it did! :) No need to feel bad. THANKS!!! :) :) :) :)
 

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