I Found This Gem In The Massivecraft Resourcepack

Togal

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I was editing the massivecraft resourcepack to make it a tad bit more pvp friendly, hence the name was changed to Lumina. Anywho reading through the end text file made me stumble upon this gem. Pretty sure you will go into "Dafuq" mode as well.
Untitled.webp

§3I see the player you mean.

§2PLAYERNAME?

§3Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

§2That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

§3I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

§2It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

§3That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game.

§2Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

§3They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

§2What did this player dream?

§3This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

§2Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

§3It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the §f§k§a§b§3, and created a §f§k§a§b§3 for §f§k§a§b§3, in the §f§k§a§b§3.

§2It cannot read that thought.

§3No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

§2Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

§3Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

§2But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality.

§3To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

§2Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

§3It reads our thoughts.

§2Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely §f§k§a§b§2 and §f§k§a§b§2, I wish to tell them that they are §f§k§a§b§2 in the §f§k§a§b§2. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

§3And yet they play the game.

§2But it would be so easy to tell them...

§3Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living.

§2I will not tell the player how to live.

§3The player is growing restless.

§2I will tell the player a story.

§3But not the truth.

§2No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.

§3Give it a body, again.

§2Yes. Player...

§3Use its name.

§2PLAYERNAME. Player of games.

§3Good.

§2Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things.

§3Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change.

§2We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story.

§2Once upon a time, there was a player.

§3The player was you, PLAYERNAME.

§2Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away.

§2Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience.

§3Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story.

§2Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third.

§3Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen.

§2Let's go back.

§2The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body.

§2And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream.

§2And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love.

§3You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love.

§2Let's go further back.

§2The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by...

§3Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons".

§2Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".

§2Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen.

§3You are the player, reading words...

§2Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive

§3You. You. You are alive.

§2and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

§3and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

§2and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

§3and the universe said I love you

§2and the universe said you have played the game well

§3and the universe said everything you need is within you

§2and the universe said you are stronger than you know

§3and the universe said you are the daylight

§2and the universe said you are the night

§3and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you

§2and the universe said the light you seek is within you

§3and the universe said you are not alone

§2and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing

§3and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code

§2and the universe said I love you because you are love.

§3And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love.

§3You are the player.

§2Wake up.

Actually I'm not even sure if this is from massive, jeez the whole story is how a the minecraft world was created. Weird shite.
 
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This is from the splash text file, please take note they snuck in the term "Hobo humping slobo babe!". Tryna pull a cheeky nandos mate? Maybe help me spot out some references? The only text that might belong to massive in the splash file probs is the teamspeak bit.

Also join our Teamspeak!Massive!
100% pure!
May contain nuts!
Better than Prey!
More polygons!
Sexy!
Limited edition!
Flashing letters!
Made by Notch!
It's here!
Best in class!
It's finished!
Kind of dragon free!
Excitement!
More than 500 sold!
One of a kind!
Heaps of hits on YouTube!
Indev!
Spiders everywhere!
Check it out!
Holy cow, man!
It's a game!
Made in Sweden!
Uses LWJGL!
Reticulating splines!
Minecraft!
Yaaay!
Singleplayer!
Keyboard compatible!
Undocumented!
Ingots!
Exploding creepers!
That's no moon!
l33t!
Create!
Survive!
Dungeon!
Exclusive!
The bee's knees!
Down with O.P.P.!
Closed source!
Classy!
Wow!
Not on steam!
Oh man!
Awesome community!
Pixels!
Teetsuuuuoooo!
Kaaneeeedaaaa!
Now with difficulty!
Enhanced!
90% bug free!
Pretty!
12 herbs and spices!
Fat free!
Absolutely no memes!
Free dental!
Ask your doctor!
Minors welcome!
Cloud computing!
Legal in Finland!
Hard to label!
Technically good!
Bringing home the bacon!
Indie!
GOTY!
Ceci n'est pas une title screen! ("This is not a title screen" in french)
Euclidian!
Now in 3D!
Inspirational!
Herregud!
Complex cellular automata!
Yes, sir!
Played by cowboys!
OpenGL 1.2!
Thousands of colors!
Try it!
Age of Wonders is better!
Try the mushroom stew!
Sensational!
Hot tamale, hot hot tamale! (Reference from a song called Hot Tamale by MrWeebl)
Play him off, keyboard cat!
Guaranteed!
Macroscopic!
Bring it on!
Random splash!
Call your mother! (Really mate?)
Monster infighting!
Loved by millions!
Ultimate edition!
Freaky!
You've got a brand new key!
Water proof!
Uninflammable!
Whoa, dude!
All inclusive!
Tell your friends!
NP is not in P!
Notch <3 ez!
Music by C418!
Livestreamed!
Haunted!
Polynomial!
Terrestrial!
All is full of love!
Full of stars!
Scientific!
Cooler than Spock!
Collaborate and listen!
Never dig down!
Take frequent breaks!
Not linear!
Han shot first!
Nice to meet you!
Buckets of lava!
Ride the pig!
Larger than Earth!
sqrt(-1) love you! (This is a world seed)
Phobos anomaly!
Punching wood!
Falling off cliffs!
0% sugar!
150% hyperbole!
Synecdoche!
Let's danec!
Seecret Friday update!
Reference implementation!
Lewd with two dudes with food! (I'm guessing its like 2 girls 1 cup?)
Kiss the sky! (Jason Derulo reference)
20 GOTO 10!
Verlet intregration!
Peter Griffin!
Do not distribute!
Cogito ergo sum!
4815162342 lines of code!
A skeleton popped out!
The Work of Notch!
The sum of its parts!
BTAF used to be good!
I miss ADOM!
umop-apisdn!
OICU812! (Slang for Oh, I See You Ate One, Too)
Bring me Ray Cokes!
Finger-licking!
Thematic!
Pneumatic!
Sublime!
Octagonal!
Une baguette!
Gargamel plays it!
Rita is the new top dog! (Really old minecraft video that came up in 2011
SWM forever!
Representing Edsbyn!
Matt Damon!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Consummate V's!
Cow Tools!
Double buffered!
Fan fiction!
Flaxkikare!
Jason! Jason! Jason! (Heavy rain glitch reference)
Hotter than the sun!
Internet enabled!
Autonomous!
Engage!
Fantasy!
DRR! DRR! DRR!
Kick it root down!
Regional resources!
Woo, facepunch!
Woo, somethingawful!
Woo, /v/!
Woo, tigsource!
Woo, minecraftforum!
Woo, worldofminecraft!
Woo, reddit!
Woo, 2pp!
Google anlyticsed!
Now supports åäö!
Give us Gordon!
Tip your waiter!
Very fun!
12345 is a bad password!
Vote for net neutrality!
Lives in a pineapple under the sea! (Sponge bob)
MAP11 has two names! (Doom 2 reference)
Omnipotent!
Gasp!
...!
Bees, bees, bees, bees!
Jag känner en bot!
This text is hard to read if you play the game at the default resolution, but at 1080p it's fine!
Haha, LOL!
Hampsterdance!
Switches and ores!
Menger sponge!
idspispopd!
Eple (original edit)!
So fresh, so clean!
Slow acting portals!
Try the Nether!
Don't look directly at the bugs!
Oh, ok, Pigmen!
Finally with ladders!
Scary!
Play Minecraft, Watch Topgear, Get Pig!
Twittered about!
Jump up, jump up, and get down!
Joel is neat!
A riddle, wrapped in a mystery!
Huge tracts of land!
Welcome to your Doom!
Stay a while, stay forever!
Stay a while and listen!
Treatment for your rash!
"Autological" is!
Information wants to be free!
"Almost never" is an interesting concept!
Lots of truthiness!
The creeper is a spy! (TF2 Mixed with minecraft reference)
Turing complete!
It's groundbreaking!
Let our battle's begin!
The sky is the limit!
Jeb has amazing hair!
Casual gaming!
Undefeated!
Kinda like Lemmings!
Follow the train, CJ!
Leveraging synergy!
This message will never appear on the splash screen, isn't that weird?
DungeonQuest is unfair!
110813!
90210!
Check out the far lands!
Tyrion would love it!
Also try VVVVVV!
Also try Super Meat Boy!
Also try Terraria!
Also try Mount And Blade!
Also try Project Zomboid!
Also try World of Goo!
Also try Limbo!
Also try Pixeljunk Shooter!
Also try Braid!
That's super!
Bread is pain!
Read more books!
Khaaaaaaaaan!
Less addictive than TV Tropes!
More addictive than lemonade!
Bigger than a bread box!
Millions of peaches!
Fnord!
This is my true form!
Totally forgot about Dre!
Don't bother with the clones!
Pumpkinhead!
Hobo humping slobo babe! (Wtf is this)
Made by Jeb!
Has an ending!
Finally complete!
Feature packed!
Boots with the fur!
Stop, hammertime! (Reference MC Hammer)
Testificates!
Conventional!
Homeomorphic to a 3-sphere!
Doesn't avoid double negatives!
Place ALL the blocks!
Does barrel rolls!
Meeting expectations!
PC gaming since 1873!
Ghoughpteighbteau tchoghs!
Déjà vu!
Déjà vu!
Got your nose!
Haley loves Elan!
Afraid of the big, black bat!
Doesn't use the U-word!
Child's play!
See you next Friday or so!
From the streets of Södermalm!
150 bpm for 400000 minutes!
Technologic!
Funk soul brother! (love this song from Fatboy Slim)
Pumpa kungen!
日本ハロー!
한국 안녕하세요!
Helo Cymru!
Cześć Polsko!
你好中国!
Привет Россия!
Γεια σου Ελλάδα!
My life for Aiur!
Lennart lennart = new Lennart();
I see your vocabulary has improved!
Who put it there?
You can't explain that!
if not ok then return end
§1C§2o§3l§4o§5r§6m§7a§8t§9i§ac (Spells out as colormatic, copy and use in f title)
§kFUNKY LOL
SOPA means LOSER in Swedish!
Big Pointy Teeth!
Bekarton guards the gate!
Mmmph, mmph!
Don't feed avocados to parrots!
Swords for everyone!
Plz reply to my tweet!
.party()!
Take her pillow!
Put that cookie down!
Pretty scary!
I have a suggestion.
Now with extra hugs!
Almost java 6!
Woah.
HURNERJSGER?
What's up, Doc?
 
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First one is the end credit text scroll for "beating the game." Once you jump in the nether portal, you see it. Mineman deep lore.

Second one is the splash text from the menu, but anyone who plays the game knows that.

One day I think it would be interesting to see Massive edit those two files and add their own bit to it. Maybe a synopsis of the lore that a player can read if they jump into a hub portal. It's not a tutorial, but kinda like the Star Wars crawl text before you join the game.
 
Dayum never knew, Lol guess my fault for not knowing jack shite.
 
Yea, its the end credits when you kill the ender dragon. It references how this game is just a mockery of the real world and how you should go out and get a life. Also, most of the splash texts are jokes or references.
 
First one is the end credit text scroll for "beating the game." Once you jump in the nether portal, you see it. Mineman deep lore.

Second one is the splash text from the menu, but anyone who plays the game knows that.

One day I think it would be interesting to see Massive edit those two files and add their own bit to it. Maybe a synopsis of the lore that a player can read if they jump into a hub portal. It's not a tutorial, but kinda like the Star Wars crawl text before you join the game.
end portal, not nether, but yea: small typo.