Hightower Crime Statistics

[Magivore]

The Year of Our Lord, 306 AC, May 7th
​

The sun was high in the sky, the clouds were thin, and the breeze was as gentle as ever. It was no secret that summer weather was on its way, nor was it a secret that the city was roaring back to life as merchants finally found the lack of frigid air better for their goods. Some men in the streets carried velvet, some carried salt, a select few sold spices, but among them all, soldiers dressed in heavy plating and the insignia of the Hightower order also had goods to sell. Unlike most other booths, they did not come in unit of grams and centimeters, but rather, in the form of a sheet of paper. It was a deal, too; only one regal per informative paper. It would be tough for even the most destitute farmer to ignore what the enclosed documents had to provide.

CRIME STATISTICS, AS OF MAY 5TH, 306 AC, IN UNITS OF 100's, 5's, AND 3's
As recorded by: Magnus Viduggla, Nikkidroth Bristlemaille​

• For every 100 crimes committed:
  • 32 were affliction-related (Sanguism, Vilitatei)
  • 27 were petty crimes (burglary, vandalism, disobedience, disturbing the peace)
  • 17 were contraband-related (robbery, carrying artifacts, fencing, weapons without a permit, contraband)
  • 10 were heresy-related (heretical artifacts, refusing The Creeds, questioning authority, magic-related)
  • 7 were assault-related (bar-fights, hostages, battery and assault, vigilantism)
  • 2 were tongue-related (slandering, sassing, publishing illegitimate papers, riot-rousing)
  • 2 were formalities (missing licenses, expired goods, incomplete trials, registered as 'missing')
  • <1 were high-crimes (kidnapping, murder, sex-related crimes, torture)
  • <1 were treasonous (whistle-blowing on healthy practices, betraying noble word, breaking contract, espionage)
• For every 100 criminals (and their primary crimes):
  • 47 were Magus
    • Kathar (treasonous + high-crimes + assault-related + heresy related)
    • Isldar (high-crimes + assault-related + heresy related)
    • Avanthar (assault-related)
    • Maraya (heresy-related)
    • Drowdar (assault-related)
    • Altalar (heresy-related)
    • Yanar (heresy-related)
    • Maiar (formalities)
    • Cielothar (formalities)
  • 38 were Gorr
    • Slizzar (treasonous + high-crimes + formalities + tongue-related + assault-related + heresy-related + contraband-related + petty crimes)
    • Orcs (high-crimes + assault-related + contraband-related)
    • Varran (tongue-related + petty crimes)
    • Allar (formalities)
    • Url (formalities)
  • 15 were Human
    • Songaskia (affliction-related + heresy-related + contraband-related)
    • Qadir (affliction-related + tongue-related)
    • Sihai (contraband-related + petty crimes)
    • Dwarves (assault-related + formalities)
    • Ailor (affliction-related + formalities)
• Top 5 cultures related to the perpetrator:
  • Dread (Kathar)
  • Estel (Elvish)
  • Velheimer (Ailor)
  • Nessrassian (Slizzar)
  • Orcish (Orc)
• Top 5 religions praised by the perpetrator:
  • The Void
  • Elvish Pantheon
  • Cultish Alignment (modified beliefs)
  • Atheism
  • Agnosticism
• Top 3 types of criminals:
  • KOS-offenders (Magus)
  • Repeat-offenders (Magus)
  • First-offenders (Ailor)
• Top 3 forms of criminals:
  • Void/Exist-related (Magus)
  • Gang-related (Magus)
  • Money-related (Gorr)

FOR EVERY HOUR THAT PASSES BY...

• No crime is performed in the noble district.
• 1 petty crime and 1 assault-related crime is performed in the commons district.
• 10 affliction-related, 8 tongue-related, 6 assault-related, 5 heresy-related, and 5 contraband-related crimes are performed in the slums district.
• 387 affliction-related, 37 treason-related, and 29 high-crimes are performed in the blood district.

FOR EVERY WEEK THAT PASSES BY...

• 1 tongue-crime and 1 petty-crime is performed in the noble district.
• 168 petty crimes and 168 assault-related crimes are performed in the commons district.
• 1,680 affliction-related, 1,344 tongue-related, 1,008 assault-related, 840 heresy-related, 840 contraband-related crimes are performed in the slums district.
• 65,016 affliction-related, 6,216 treason-related, and 4,872 high-crimes are performed in the blood district.

AND THAT IS WHAT THE NUMBERS WOULD LOOK LIKE IF THE HIGHTOWERS DIDN'T STOP ANY OF THEM!

DON'T BE A FOOL: CARRY A TOOL*!

LOOK FOR YOUR NEAREST GUARDSMAN TODAY TO ENLIST AND HELP GIVE THE OL' MAGUS AND SANGUINE A PUNCH TO THE PECKER!

MAY THE SPIRIT PREVAIL​

*Concealed blades may only be carried by first-class races, constraints being that the whole knife (hilt and blade included) may be no longer than 31 centimeters in length, it is not withdrawn in public, and may only be used in dire situations protecting an Imperial or by saving yourself from a lethal blow.

​

 

[FunctionKey]

Sounds like we need a purge.

Spoiler: Purge

 

[AtticCat]

"Lots of numbers, if only I could read."​

 

[InDogsWeTrust]

*Concealed blades may only be carried by first-class races, constraints being that the whole knife (hilt and blade included) may be no longer than 31 centimeters in length, it is not withdrawn in public, and may only be used in dire situations protecting an Imperial or by saving yourself from a lethal blow.

​

Click to shrink...

"What's a centimeter?!? Made up measurements! Just like the this da—!"

A certain idiot halfling was hauled away before she could finish her sentence.

 

[GoodDreamer]

What iz an "Atheizm"?

 

[TalkChat]

Nace Trevaskis took a stroll through the district, he moved to read over the notice before giving a cough "Only /six/ assaulted crimes in the slums every hour? We need to step up our game, dammit."

 

[FireFan96]

"I never knew fencing equipment was contraband. It's just a sport like any other. Though the rest of the report is not surprising. Excellent job city watch."

 

[DelendaEst]

"Good to see my prejudices are all validated" hums Gena, inspecting the dossier with a cup of tea.

 

[JokerLupus]

Yanar (heresy-related)

Click to shrink...

Joasaie looked over the statistics report, raising a brow and scoffing at the Yanar section before muttering to themselves as they left, "The ones turned into Yanar by the void flora don't count, Hightowers. I would hope you knew that by now. Heresy is also a bit vague with what has all happened these past months, more so with the fact of how Yanar were created." The Yanar guard fiddled with one of their needles, "Maybe I could ask them, find out myself."

 

[Moribundity]

"Sure, blame it all on the Frostlings." A mildly irritated snow elf commented when she was home alone.

 

[PaladinoGui]

"Of course, the non-ailors commit most crime." The guardsman says, not looking surprised.

 

[Ringo0310]

Eugenio Walks by seeing the post by the hightowers saying to himself "The shield is still better then the Hightower, but they have the advantage right now."

 

[RightChat]

47 were Magus

Click to shrink...

Top 5 cultures related to the perpetrator:

• 
  
  
  • Dread (Kathar)
  • Estel (Elvish)

Click to shrink...

Fawzi shook his head, muttering to himself in Zcorr. "Tsk, Mm-mm. Elves."

 

[Bearacuda]

Markolf
Looked at the papers with a smooth intent. Moving it back and forth to slowly read. "Hrm... I doonn't, think. I learn't anythin' f'rom this."

 

[SorryNari]

Valerie​

Kathar (treasonous + high-crimes + assault-related + heresy related)

Click to shrink...

Valerie squinted at the paper. "Oh, c'mon!" She groaned. The Fai'llir was absolutely terrified that her reputation, as a Kathar, as a Silven, was going to be completely slashed and slandered. Valerie's eyes slowly, yet frantically, scanned over each word. Finally, she reached the bottom list.

LOOK FOR YOUR NEAREST GUARDSMAN TODAY TO ENLIST AND HELP GIVE THE OL' MAGUS AND SANGUINE A PUNCH TO THE PECKER!

Click to shrink...

"Whh-- I-.." What a bummer. Valerie rolled up the paper and tucked it into her pocket. "Yeesh.. Hope folks really don't go after my head after readin' this."

 

[ZiggyStarDusted]

Lazaruz d'Soleil sat in bed reading through the papers one morning scanning through them with intrigue.

"Best'd get back t'work, hmm?"
He'd open his curtain briefly to overlook the nearby Bastion..

Yet when he started to move; the woman sleeping beside him stirred, as did the hounds at the foot of the bed. What if they woke the baby?

"Later then.."

 

[Ghirko]

Eric Decimar let out a small sort as he read through. "Vague at best. What of the dark figure of crime? The 'victimless' crime unreported. Just like the Hightowers to ignore detail." His eyes drifted further down the page. "Then again, hopefully this will help put those snakes in place."

 

[Mandyy_]

"Hey--hey! Wynny, I think I'm on there--see, "sassing"! Naw--naw, they just can't handle me bold truth." Poppy nodded up and down, while speaking to a certain dwarf! @Miss_Confined

 

[DragonQueen23]

Syrilis Mu-Vazziss would continue her daily walks as usual. But this time, had one Paper in her hands, Reading quietly. "Hm... Intereztin'.. Intereztin' indeed. Yet, Sso Vague az well." She then moved her eyes to the bottom of the page. Only to shake her head and put the paper off until later use.

 

[Miss_Confined]

Bronwyn eyed over the sheet that Poppy held with a proud smile on her face for Nikkidroth's accomplishments with the statistics. Her attention trailed to Poppy as she stifled a bout of laughter with a strangled noise in her throat, a mere huff of amusement exhaled like a sigh. "Shhh, shh, Poppy. I told ya ta keep outta trouble now. Tellin' tha truth is good but ya gotta say it inna nice way. Jus' like how I told ya ta." @Mandyy_

 

[PresentMediator]

Zzalangua Mu-Vazziss peered over the numbers, his gaze stopping as he glanced over 'Allar (formalities)'

"Yep, that waz me."