Vulthuryol Hrothgar

I'll be taking this app for review!

 

Took me a little while to get back to this one, sorry!
Seeing as you're new to the Proficiency system and RP in general, I'll give you as brief a walkthrough of character app stuff as I can.

Skill Information
50 Age + 10 Talent + 10 Hobby + 5 Racial Boost = 75 Total Points

You have your point count here mostly right, only that the +5 Race boost doesn't really count to your total; it only applies if a minimum of 5 points are invested in the given Proficiency.
For example, as a Nautilaan, you have the choice of a single +5 bonus to Admiral Command, Captain Command, or Sword Combat, but only if you invest 5 points into it beforehand. Since you don't have any of these Proficiencies listed, Vulthuryol isn't eligible for any of these boosts. Nautilaan do have a few Racial Abilities however, that you can find here.​

Combat: Axe Combat and Light Bow Combat
Science: Alchemy Science

Combat and Science Proficiencies count as Core Group Proficiencies; this is to say that they have an upper investment cap of 20 and can only be invested into with the Proficiency points you get from Age; your race boost can still apply in here if you were to pick Sword Combat over Axe or Light Bow, but you can't apply Talent or Hobby points here. You can find information on the Alchemy system and its Proficiency requirements here, and information on the Light Bow system here.​

Talent: General Command and Stealth Rogue

Talent Proficiencies have an upper investment cap of 10 and can be invested into with your 10 free Talent points as well as Proficiency points from Age; your race boosts to Admiral or Captain Command can also apply here. You can find more information here on General Command (note that you'll have to operate under a noble or as a Regalian Marshal to make use of this in Progressions) and here on Stealth Rogue​

Hobby: Sailing Art and Hunter Art

Hobby Proficiencies have an upper investment cap of 15 and can be invested into with your 10 free Hobby points as well as Proficiency points from Age. Hunting Art doesn't have any system benefits, but Sailing Art does, found here, that can be made use of in Progressions.​

Education
Warfare School: The School of Marshalry

Attending the School of Marshalry is fine, since Vulthuryol is an Ailor.​

Discipline of Marine Command
Discipline of General Command

Being taught in two different Disciplines of Marshalry strictly isn't allowed, as stated here. You'll have to pick one and remove the other.​

Primal Affliction: Dragon Wardens

Being a Dragon Warden is something you can only acquire in-game through interaction with the Primal community, so this will have to go; these are usually around the Dragon Temple near /tp Knights Quarter in Regalia, but you'll have to spend some time building relations with them to even be considered for becoming a Dragon Warden.
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Special Traits
Magic

Is this meaning Sorcery or full-blown Magic? If using Sorcery, you'll have to note the Proficiency costs in your Skill Information; if meaning actual full-blown Magic, you'll need to get an approved Magic Special Permission application to make use of that in Regalia. A second note is that if your character is Dragon-aligned, he will very likely oppose Magic, as these two forces are enemies in Aloria.​

Life Story
I'm not going to copy-paste the Life Story here because it would use too much space, but basically I'll lay down a few ground rules that have to be abided by for newly created characters:

>You need to choose a place and, as an Ailor, culture for your character to have been born in. For example, since Vulthuryol wears furs, lives near the sea, and uses a Dwarven axe, I'd recommend the Velheimer culture and being born in Ellador. This would also mean he'd speak Skodje, the Velheimer native language, which you'll have to add to your Languages if you choose this culture. You can find more information on the Velheimer culture here. It's not required to read the whole thing, but I'd scan through most of it to get a decent feel.
>You can't give your character any major backstory relevance that did not occur either in Progressions or on the server. This is to say that while Vulthuryol has attended the School of Marshalry and learned the Discipline of either Marine or General Command, and could have acted as a soldier on the field or even an assistant to a general, this app can't be approved with the claim that he commanded 100,000 men or was the High King of anything- the political landscape of Aloria is already determined and can't be altered except through efforts in-game and in Progressions.
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As such, I'm going to provide a short guide for how to write a concise Life Story that provides enough information for approval:

Childhood:
Your Childhood section should encapsulate the first 10-15 years of your character's life, briefly detailing the date and location of birth and social class, such as poor or wealthy, and anything notable about his upbringing, such as his parents' Dragon Worship. Maybe scatter in the point at which the character was inspired to pursue a particular career path or life choice. The earliest age at which Vulthuryol could have joined the School of Marshalry is 14, so if he started at that age, going to the nearest academy would go in here. This only needs to be a paragraph or two.
Early Life:
Your Early Life section should encapsulate the next 10-15 years of your character's life, briefly detailing education, progression, and developing personality traits of your character. For example, the development of character traits such as pessimism, violence, or constant positivity. If Vulthuryol is taking the Discipline of Marine Command, he'll be in education for 5 years, and if he's taking the Discipline of General Command, he'll be in education for 10 years. Additionally, if he has any Sorcery or Ritualism, it's best to insert why and who he learned them from here.
Later Life:
Your Later Life section should encapsulate the next 15-20 years of your character's life, briefly detailing the achievement of certain life goals, how they've progressed into their chosen career path if at all, and any changes in their life such as travel or immigration. For example, you could detail how Vulthuryol existed in Regalian military command or used his commanding abilities in small conflicts, keeping in mind that in the Backstory, he can never be a forefront player in any kind of major conflict in Aloria.
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This is a lot to read, so I don't blame you if you need to take a while to read it or a while to implement the changes I've asked for. When you're ready, mark your edits in red and @tag me when you're done or if you need any input along the way. Happy editing!

 

I'm so sorry about the wait, I keep blanking out on a lot of apps.
My points of review are thus:
Basic Information

Please remove the 'High King' title from the character's name, app title, and life story, and give him a surname, since this would still conflict with predetermined power structures in roleplay. ​

Proficiency

You still have yet to attach values to your Proficiencies; how many points are invested into them? These will dictate how skilled your character is in a given discipline, with the maximum investment in a Proficiency being reasonably about as good as anyone could be at it. ​

Life Story

Membership in the Regalian Marshal Cabinet still requires entry through RP, and can't be backstory-entered, so I'd like you to either change this for freelancing for private forces, or remove it, especially since the Regalian military doesn't actually have much if any presence in Ellador, else the Isldar likely wouldn't have been able to overrun the Dwarves so easily, and the Dorkarth vampires would probably be in open conflict with them. I'd also like you to add where Vulthuryol learned his weapon disciplines, since marshals are typically non-combatants who spend their time strategizing away from the actual battle.
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Again, my apologies for the long wait on this one. As before, mark your edits in red and @tag me when you're done.