So, I'm off on hiatus.
Basically if you are in association with me, you will of noticed a change in the way I act towards members of the community and how I speak. I am no longer the happy PvPer I used to be, things have been changing in my life. So, recently I went to an end of school year party to celebrate me and my friends turning year 11 (Final year of secondary school in the UK. Idk what US grade that is but we're 15-16 years old.) And at this party some stuff went down, while I was drunk and had just finished the rest of my 9 gram I got very depressed. So depressed in fact that I had a brake down and begun crying in the spare room. I was surrounded by some of my close friends, and we got down to the reason why I had this brake down. Basically when it comes down to it, I have been suffering from isolation issues from a long time. This with the recent news from the doctor about how my mental state had been degrading due to the isolation issues was pretty hard for me to deal with. So my isolation was causing my chronic depression to get worse. While being around all of my friends I just snapped, I had gone from having no one, to everyone being there in an instant, and this was too much to deal with.
Basically if you haven't experienced chronic depression and isolation issues its rather hard to explain. But I will try. For me it always feels like I have no one, it feels like no one cares or wants to be there. It makes me lonely and it makes me sad. Its a feeling which makes you feel like there's a void in your heart where you friends should be. Here's the kicker, - There are people there though. Even though I know people are there for me, and want to help me it feels like there aren't. And this pressures you. It pressures you a lot because you feel like you can't talk to them and it disconnects you.
But I guess I should just get on with it, I'm off on a hiatus until my issues die down a bit, this may take a month, two months, two years, twenty years. I'm not happy with my life at all, and I feel my negative and over all toxic impact on the community should leave for a while. This is good for me as it will allow me to deal with my issues and good for the server as it will have one less toxic, hateful, angry, depressing and over all negative player.
I'll always remember the times I had with you guys, I'll come back at some point, after all it is a hiatus.
(Sorry if this post is a bit scrambled, this is pretty hard for me to write due to what it contains and I'm writing it on my iPod)
Bye
- Skip AKA James (A very unstable "emo" teenager)
Basically if you are in association with me, you will of noticed a change in the way I act towards members of the community and how I speak. I am no longer the happy PvPer I used to be, things have been changing in my life. So, recently I went to an end of school year party to celebrate me and my friends turning year 11 (Final year of secondary school in the UK. Idk what US grade that is but we're 15-16 years old.) And at this party some stuff went down, while I was drunk and had just finished the rest of my 9 gram I got very depressed. So depressed in fact that I had a brake down and begun crying in the spare room. I was surrounded by some of my close friends, and we got down to the reason why I had this brake down. Basically when it comes down to it, I have been suffering from isolation issues from a long time. This with the recent news from the doctor about how my mental state had been degrading due to the isolation issues was pretty hard for me to deal with. So my isolation was causing my chronic depression to get worse. While being around all of my friends I just snapped, I had gone from having no one, to everyone being there in an instant, and this was too much to deal with.
Basically if you haven't experienced chronic depression and isolation issues its rather hard to explain. But I will try. For me it always feels like I have no one, it feels like no one cares or wants to be there. It makes me lonely and it makes me sad. Its a feeling which makes you feel like there's a void in your heart where you friends should be. Here's the kicker, - There are people there though. Even though I know people are there for me, and want to help me it feels like there aren't. And this pressures you. It pressures you a lot because you feel like you can't talk to them and it disconnects you.
But I guess I should just get on with it, I'm off on a hiatus until my issues die down a bit, this may take a month, two months, two years, twenty years. I'm not happy with my life at all, and I feel my negative and over all toxic impact on the community should leave for a while. This is good for me as it will allow me to deal with my issues and good for the server as it will have one less toxic, hateful, angry, depressing and over all negative player.
I'll always remember the times I had with you guys, I'll come back at some point, after all it is a hiatus.
(Sorry if this post is a bit scrambled, this is pretty hard for me to write due to what it contains and I'm writing it on my iPod)
Bye
- Skip AKA James (A very unstable "emo" teenager)
