Preserved Sheet Harald Hadraga

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Yoggery

Quiet and Falling
Joined
Jul 30, 2017
Messages
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Reaction score
480
Points
198
Basic Information
  • Full Name: Harald Howelsson Hadraga
  • Age: 19
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Velheim Ailor/Shendar
  • Main Ambition: To find love and learn to be more out going. He's gonna do this by trying to get used to being more social, and try to push his past fears that still nag him back.
Basic Information
  • Now lives outside of the slums and sewers, living in a regular house, with no worry of break ins. Haralds in Regalia for the reason to find some sort of prosperity. He's lived in the city for months now, knowing the laws, especially knowing most to all of them after joining the now non-existent nordmark for a while. When the nordmark pretty much disbanded and after all that nonsense, he joined up with the Ulfurtonn House guard.
  • Parents lived in Ellador, and gave birth to Harald and his brother, Eric Hadraga, his parents traveled the land as basic Balltarc northerners.
  • No real secondary ambitions, other than whatever pops up that he needs to take care of, or if he even wants to take care of it.
Skills Information
  • Total Proficiency Points: 9
  • + 11 Skagger Axes ( +10 Raised Velheim, +1 School of Skagger )
  • + 4 Tracking ( + 1 School of Skagger, +3 Proficiency Points )
  • + 1 Battle Command ( 1+ School of Skagger )
  • + 2 Improvised Weapons ( +2 Proficiency Points )
  • + 4 Trapping ( +4 Proficiency Points )
  • Total Cultural Points: 9
  • + 9 Horticulture ( +9 Culture Points)


Visual Information

  • Eye Color: Brown
  • Hair Color: Black
  • Hair Style: Sorta long, sorta not, his bangs go just beneath the eyes.
  • Skin Color: Pale Grey
  • Clothing: Basic Velheimer clothes.
  • Height: 6'6
  • Body Build: Toned
  • Weapon of Choice: Usually dual wield axes.

Personality and Abilities

  • Respectful, yet Arrogant: Harald can be rather respectful to those around him, he can be polite, kindhearted, etc. However, he can be ill tempered, and can be easily annoyed, though, he used to lash out at objects or people upon being angered, now, thanks to skagger training, this rarely happens anymore. Then, there's his nervousness which can be be noticeable at times, this is due to his time in the slums and sewers of regalia, not knowing someone makes him nervous by instinct, not knowing there friend or foe.
  • Secret Softy: Harald is considered a secret softy, this would be easily seen by the closest of friends. He's usually rather nervous around new people, due to the fact that in the slums, he saw new people as potential threats if he did not get to know them. His soft side is usually hidden away, but sometimes, someone can unlock the chest that leads to how he really feels at a certain moment.
  • how he is to family and friends: He's considerably nice, he trust friends and family to the fullest. He will give, life and limb, for the people he cares about, his love for the ones he cares about is endless. He tries to hang out with and talk to his friends and family he does happen to run into as much as he possibly can.
  • Morals: Regarding his moral code, he is rather neutral, he is in the good, and the bad, he is evil, and good. He doesn't judge people for who they are, he even has friends who are vampires, he doesn't even judge Shendar or the label they have of rape and murder culture. Harald's not fully an angel though, living in the slums for a long time made him kinda brutal if he gets into fights. Overall, Harald can be rather neutral with his morality.
Talents
  • Sneaking: Harald, once being a vampire for three years, has learned to sneak fairly well. During his three year period of vampirism, he often done sneak attacks. He done sneak attacks so it would be quiet, and not a lot of effort for a meal. However, this skill has began to deteriorate a little as Harald sneaks less and less.
  • Combat: Once upon a time, Harald used to live in the slums and sewer systems of Regalia, he had to learn to fight swiftly. He usually looked at fights, or memorized how his opponents fought, and practiced it. He eventually began to fight based on his own instinct, instead of what he saw his enemies do.
  • Hunting: Harald used to be a nomad, so it would make perfect sense he'd know a thing or two about hunting. Being taught by his original family, the Hadraga's, he can track animals easily. He can most likely use throwing spears if he was reminded on how to throw a spear, though, not as accurately as he used to be.
Likes
  • Plants
  • Architecture
  • Fighting
  • Music
Dislikes
  • Ignorant people
  • Orcs and Urls
  • Sunlight

Life Story
~Born September 18th, 286 A.C. In Ellador~
~1-4~
  • Born in Ellador on September 18th, 286 A.C, original name being Haraldsson Hadraga, his father, Howel Hadraga, and his mother, Freyja Hadraga, lived nomadically in Ellador. His brother Eric Hadraga, is significantly older, being raised on tradition and religion. Howel met Freyja, the shendar, original name: Issi'lassa, by finding her, and using her as a slave. However, over time, they fell in love, and married in secret. Freyja had to change her name from her original Shendar Elvish name, to Freyja. She also had to chop her ears off and learn Skodje. When both Eric and Harald was born, they were forced to head into towns to get surgeries to make the ears look ailor insead of halfling. Harald and Eric would live on their lives, not knowing they are part elvish, nor the people they encounter.
  • At the age of 4, Haralds family was attacked by a group of three vampires, all of his family were infected and turned into vampires. His family stayed together in hopes Harald would grow with a future he'd live as another Ailor nomad.
  • The Hadraga's moved to northern parts of New Ceardia by hiding in ships for the reason of the family being able to find blood meals easier. Harald would've been taught Modern Elven from his mother, Skodje and Common from his father.
~5-16~
  • Living in the northern parts of New Ceardia for years, family feasting on the blood of the locals, and hunting game for Harald, and teaching him to hunt for himself as he grew older.
  • When Harald turned 16, his family came under attack by a group of six hunters, all but Harald survived, he fed his brother his blood so his brother can by him time to escape.
  • Turned into a vampire from his brothers bite in a barn in a small village, upon awakening, he attacked and killed a villager, then was chased off to another village.
  • At another village, he met Marcus Flayljand, who took care of him til Harald was 17.
~17-19(present)~
  • Marcus dies when Harald was 17 years old
  • Harald decides, after Marcus's death, to move to Regalia in hopes of gaining some sort of new life. He got there by boat, and kept low profiles on ships, sneaking onto them, and feeding off Rats if he can, every now and then, feeding off a drunk sailor whenever opportunity arrives.
  • When he finally arrived when he was 19 years old, he got captured and cured, and lived in the slums and sewers for months.
  • Joined the nordmark which helped him move out of the slums, remaining loyal to the Úlfurtönn's.
  • Kicked out of the mark due to issues with becoming and curing Ombratore Vampirism, but then heard of the Nordmarks troubles, he joined the Celyreos guard, then when the Celyreos guard was gonna abandon the mark, he stayed behind to help his kin or even maybe friends.
  • Harald and Víðarr began developing a father-sonly bond over time, and eventually, Víðarr adopted Harald. Haralds name going from Haraldsson, to Harald, only to leave the family, and rename himself Harald Howelsson Hadraga.
 
Last edited:
Peer Review~

Born in Ithania, parents moved to Ithania.
As Harald is a Northerner, why would he have been born in Ithania? While it's happened before, maybe just a bit of explanation considering I know that more Northerner characters tend to dislike the Ithanians as they are generally seen as the weaker Ailor.

  • Eye Color: Green
  • Hair Color: Black
There is no Northerne subtype that is Green eyes and Black hair- or black hair at all, except for the Novilyud Northerner and that would make it really strange for Harald to have been in Ithania as the Novilyud have this definition in the Wiki:
Novilyud - The Novilyud are the often forgotten Northerners who everyone despises purely because they are so barbaric that nobody can tolerate them. Novilyud live in the tundras of Jorrhildr and engage in frequent sacrificing and cannibalism. The Novilyud have very morbid traditions that include skinning their elders when they die and decorating their homes with their skins. Novilyud have black hair and brown eyes usually.
  • Seen by others: Is rather respectful if not angered, is kind hearted but is not scared to take up a challenge, he is charitable when he does have money, although is a bit of a rebel, rather nice for a vampire.
  • Internal Feelings: Kinda sad a lot, emotional, anxious about a lot, he kinda hates himself, he has a reason to feel this way due to the fact he's been disliked.
  • How he is to family and friends: He's WAY more nicer and caring than normal, he will literally give life and limb for the protection of his friends since that's what his family had done for him at one point.
  • Morals: Regarding morality, he is rather neutral, he is a bit of a rebel, always causing trouble in some way, but also doesn't judge people for who they are, even if a Shendar to Vampire, to even caused crimes like him, he see's peoples evil within them by being logical and simply seeing them be evil
You really need to buff these up. Generally each of these should be about 3 sentences at a minimum and each of these currently are just really run-on sentences.
  • Can be a bit stealthy when needs to be
  • Talented at speaking Northerne and Common, all the
As stated above, these need to be buffed up. It should be about three sentences each as well as the fact that speaking Northerne and Common is not a talent as basically everyone knows Common and every Northerner knows Northerne. One question I do have is why he doesn't know d'Ithanie even though he was born in Ithania. I do notice that you are attempting to say that he is good at linguistics, but generally this can only be applied if a character has dedicated his life to languages or knows about 4+ languages at an advanced level.
Likes
  • Plants
  • Architecture
  • Conversation
Dislikes
  • Ignorant people
  • Nobles
  • Insults
  • Sunlight(due to sun burns and heat, not a vampire thing)
Just an added thing, as this is not a required part please put it in a spoilers.
Life Story
~Born September 18th, 286 A.C.~
~1-4~
Birth, then at age four, three umredd vampires attacked attacked the Hadraga family, Howel Hadraga(father), Freyja Hadraga(mother), Eric Hadraga(big brother), and Haraldsson Hadraga, the entire family, except Haraldsson, was bitten and turned, the family decided not to part ways in hopes Haraldsson would grow up to be fully happy.
~5-9~
the Hadraga's pretty much stayed put til Haraldsson was nine years old when they decided to move
~10-11~
The Hadraga's moved when Haraldsson was ten years old, a vampire hunter attacked the family while moving to there new place to live, killing all but Haraldsson, who let his brother feed off him to give Eric a energy boost to have him fend off the hunter to let Haraldsson run, Haraldsson ran to a village where he lived as an orphan til age eleven
~11-18~
Haraldsson was attacked by an Umredd, bitten, and infected, then he ran to a barn where he was sick for days, another Umredd found him, then decided to take care of him til he was atleast sixteen when the Umredd named Marcus Flavotis was killed, Haraldsson pretty much wandered til he was atleast 18
~19-present~
Haraldsson once he turned 19, decided to come to the Regalian city, where he was captured and cured, for a few weeks after being cured, being achy and stuff, he read heavily on plants and alchemy where he learned a bit about different substances and plants, then got bitten by an Ombratore, and turned.
I would put these in a bullet point list to mark all the important events as well as make sure you check your grammar/run-on sentences/etc. An extra note would be that it is highly doubtful that Haraldsson would be turned at eleven (I believe that's the age he was when he was attacked by the Umredd) and survive turning as usually it is sixteen years old that it is finally not lethal.
 
Claimed for Aspirant Review! Expect a response within 48 hours.
 
( Would put in spoiler as asked, but no idea how to)
If you look on the tool bar for chat there is a + sign and if you click that you will see a drop down menu that has Spoiler on it. Highlight the text you want to put in the spoiler and then apply it.
 
Review
Basic Information

This section is missing its header.
Expand on your ambition, it is too simple for an Ailor
Remove special permissions, it's only applicable for an expert in the school.
Basic Information Expanded
Place this under a spoiler.
There's little reason for his parents to move all the way to Ithania for scenics, instead, they could have head to the Regalian Capital. There is an academy for alchemy there as well.
Skill Information
There's a formal school for learning alchemy in both Regalia and Ithania in which your character could have learned from
https://wiki.massivecraft.com/School_of_Alchemy
Visual Information
Reduce your body build to average/lean
Personalities and Abilities
I would like you to work on the wording, and to actually rework it after my suggestions made in the life story.
Talents
Rework on your wording for stealthy, and dark walking is already an inherent ability with the vampiric affliction.
Remove the talent on languages completely, and keep it to Common and Northerne
Life Story
Novilyid are quite extreme even for the northerners, I will suggest changing to Balltarc - The Balltarc are similar to the Kalmarra, but they live on the tundras and the grass plains of the various northern lands. These are mostly hunters and gatherers who nomadically move from one place to another to survive.....though they tend to be taller and have more platinum blonde hair and blue eyes.

You could fit the story that his family was attacked in these remote lands.

@xXKingDraugarXx
Tag your changes in red! and tag me when you are done!
 
I'm probably gonna change the Ombratore thing, btw
 
Peer Review!
Right off the bat you don't need to mention what you removed on the app, it would be better to list the changes made in a reply.

. Around this time, during there sleep, three Umredd vampires attacked them, the mother, father, and brother all turned. Instead of splitting up, they decided that to stay together in hopes Haraldsson could one day live as any other Balltarc/Novilyud, he was about four years old by this time.
Why was he spared during the Umredd attack? For what purpose did they attack his family? How has his family being turned changed the way his life has gone?

Unfortunately, he contracted the vampiric curse from his brother, he turned, and when he woke up from what I like to call the 'Vampires Slumbers'(i actually do call that coma near death thing that irl), he attacked and killed a villager while in the 'blood lust stage'(they call it that based on wiki, i think i saw it).
The mention of "Vampires Slumbers" and the OOC comments in parenthesis are unnecessary and I recommend you remove them.

  • Special Permission:
Basic Information
  • Basic sewer dweller, trying to find the money for a place to live. There to find a permanent place to live. Been there for a few weeks. No form of occupation or anything else
  • Parents lived in Ellador, and gave birth to Harald and his brother, Eric Hadraga, his parents traveled the land as basic Balltarc northerners.
  • No real secondary ambitions, just wants to get some money for once!
You don't need to include the special permission section if you are not applying for one.

Basic information isn't a required section, I recommend putting it in a spoiler.

  • Has a bit of talent through stealth, he can be quite and knows a opportunity for sneaking around.He know's all sorts of opportunities in which he can conceal himself. He got Overall, he can do some sneaking around.(again, removal of vampire stuff)
  • He can speak a couple different languages, including Common and Northern, but not much for Northern since he never really uses it anymore. For other languages, he either knows how to ask if they know Common like Elven, or not at all.(removed the Ithania stuff, since i'm changing the birth to Ellador)
Remove the statements that you removed something.

Go into detail into how he sneaks around, does he do it purely on his own? Does he use any alchemical aids? How did he come to learn this?

Knowing a sentence or two in another language doesn't mean he knows the language. If he knows only common and Northern I recommend you adjust the section to state such or change the talent entirely.

read a lot about Alchemy, hence how he was a Novice Alchemist in the present, this was around when he was nineteen.
Aside from reading does he know how to do any alchemy? Where did he obtain the books?

He's considerably nice despite even being the slightest bit of Novilyud, he trust friends and family to the fullest.
Over all, he is surprisingly nice for being inherently Novilyud, but easily angered and his rage can get the best of him, pretty much going berserk.

These statements are redundant in that they all describe how much of an nice person he can be for being partially Novilyud. His personality isn't determined by his lineage but how he was raised.
 
Approved

Thank you for working with the suggestions, and improving on your character application accordingly. Bellarmina's advice put you on the right track as well. Happy Roleplaying!

@Bellarmina
@Suzzie
 
Thanks guys for suggesting the fix options
 
I have a question, is it possible to edit an already approved character sheet as like a update to there life, interest, skills, etc? @Suicidium
 
Changes
-Removed the Alchemy skill, as harald don't use it much anymore
-lots of changes, such as personality
-Yeah, tons of changes, alot of IC stuff has happened
 
  • Full Name: Harald Vidarrsson Ulfurtonn
Víðarrsson Úlfurtönn ;-;
And with you messing up my name.... PEER REVIEW:
Race: Velheim Ailor (Balltarc/Novilyud mix if it still matters)
As I've been told, this does not matter. Though, I am not certain with that point.
Main Ambition: To find love and learn to be more out going.
How will Harald accomplish this or try to accomplish this?
Expansions should be thrown into spoilers.
  • School of Skagger

  • Trainee
This one is on me, but Harald would likely be "Novice" or just reaching "Student" by this point. Up to you, though.
This should be an exact height.
Weapon of Choice: Usually either Arming Swords, or some sort of Axe.
As a trainee in Skagger he would not be being trained with arming swords. I would suggest to leaving just Dual axes on here.
kindhearted, etc. However, he can be very ill tempered, he tends to, if he's angry enough, lash out
It's my personal opinion here that someone publicly considered "Kindhearted" would not physically lash out. Furthermore, with his skagger training his mental state would be far more stable. I would suggest replacing lashing out with something else or making it far more rare.
sometimes, someone can unlock the chest that leads to how he really feels at a certain moment.
I'm not certain why you have random sentences like this bolded. May want to correct this.
He tries to hang and talk to his friends
He hangs his friends? Smh.
I would suggest spacing this out and formatting a bit better. As it currently stands it's just a big hunk of text that's hard to a actually differentiate.
Born September 18th, 286 A.C.
Where was he born? You mention him visiting Ellador in this section, but not his place of birth.
Haraldsson decided to go to the city of Regalia
How did this loner Sanguine make it across two land-masses(New Ceardia and another land mass between him and his goal... Map resolution, sigh) and an ocean to reach Regalia?
As his name is no longer Haraldsson it could be best to correct all mentions.

Don't mess up my name again. >.>
@xXKingDraugarXx
 
-added a skill in hunting while editing for peer review, since it'd make sense if he used to be a nomad for a long time at one point
 
@Suicidium
I requested a re-review before the Proficiency changes, so both the re-review, and Proficiency System.
 
@xXKingDraugarXx
Please update your application to the current format, taking into account the change made to proficiency points he has 19.
 
@Percuriam Nope! Probably not gonna bother doing stuff much with Haralds app. Mostly because I'm not gonna be rping him much anymore, you can reject it or leave it as is.