Preserved Sheet Hannah Luzille Lexen

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AlphaInsomnia

AlphaInsomnia

Inexplicable Explicative
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
363
Reaction score
560
Points
508
Age
29
Location
a time or place.
Faction
Syndorei
Character Information
  • Full Name: Hellen "Hannah" Luzille Lexen
  • Age: 51
  • Gender: Female
  • Race: Half-Nelfin(Half Ceardian Ailor, half neutral Isldar)
  • Preferred Weapon: Flanged Mace
Core Concept
  • Alignment:
    • Lawful Evil - Hannah is a means to an end. Rules do not apply. She kills without remorse, and her orders come from the Emperor.
  • Personality:
    • Logistician - Cold, calculated, calm, and unwavering in her duties.
  • Religion:
    • Unionism - (7/10) Hannah has a firm grasp of the Creeds, being able to recite them by heart. She has served the Emperor dutifully. However, she has not bothered to examine any deeper meaning than the face value of those words. She only listens, and does as commanded. What she does strongly believe in is the idea of faith, that logic need not dictate commands from above, that where the natural world fails in wordly expression faith instead answers.
  • In full terms, Hannah is the culmination of loyalty and dedication. She has no life outside herself anymore, as her sworn duty occupies all of her time, with nowhere to go to act herself, and so she has lost herself.
Skill Information
(Points specified invested/free total)
Warrior

Strength: 7
  • Technique Parry
  • Concussive Blow
  • Shrug Off
  • Diving Tackle
  • Cheap Shot
  • Combat Sight
  • Knockback Sweep
  • Break Down (Free)
  • Weapon Throw (Free)
Constitution: 7
  • Shield Block (Free)
  • Shield Wall
  • Shield Slam
  • Shield Deflect
  • Shield Cover
  • Debuff Endurance
  • Rage Counter
  • Interception
Wisdom: 0
Dexterity: 0
  • Disguise Skill Pack (free)
Magic:
Charisma: 0
Languages:
  • Common (Free)
  • Thalic (Native)
  • Empire Language Pack

Racial Mechanics:
  • Teledden Mechanic #1
  • Teledden Mechanic #2
  • Fin'ullen Mechanic #4
Appearance Information
  • Eye Color: Cadet blue
  • Hair Color: Black
  • Hair Style: Short, wavy
  • Skin Color: White
  • Clothing: A very expensive, retrofitted naval uniform tailored by Thomas Kade's personal tailor, simple pants, and high-leg boots.
  • Height: 6'4" or around 193 cm
  • Body Build: Strongman
  • Weapon of Choice: Tower shield and mace
Life Story

Childhood:
  • Hellen is born in the summer of 261 AC to Hannah and Joe, growing up on a farm near the coast of Old Ceardia.
  • Hellen grows up doing farm work and all that jazz.
  • Hannah dies due to Joe's drunken stupor. (267 AC)
  • Old Ceardia falls, and Joe takes Hellen to New Ceardia. Hellen runs away from home, taking up care with new parents, Erika and Sam. Hellen changes her name to Hannah out of respect for her mother (268 AC).
Adolescence:
  • Hannah joins up with local militia fighters in service to local law enforcement, tasked with keeping brigands at bay. Hannah disguises herself as a boy, and is used to collect armaments and loot from the battlefield. Her father works in a separate division of the same militia, so they are kept at distance (274 AC)
  • Hannah finally proves herself useful to some mercenaries among the militia, and they begin training her to defend herself on the battlefield should the need arise (275 AC).
Adulthood:
  • Hannah is trained more in-depth, now fighting constantly within the militia. Her father is wounded during battle, and out of spite Hannah drags him away from danger. He heads to Regalia for the time being, seeking supplies and men during his recovery. Hannah follows to spy on him, before confronting him. Hannah begrudgingly accepts his apologies (285 AC).
  • Some more mercenary fighting (285 AC - 300 AC)
  • Mercenary contract ends, and is not renewed. The militia, without funding, breaks apart. Hannah returns to Regalia, soon joining the Regalian Guard. She meets Thomas Kade, who decides to train her personally (300 AC).
  • Hannah becomes distant, cold, and unsympathetic for unknown reasons, resuming her work in the Regalian Guard (300 AC - 302 AC)
  • Hannah serves in the Elven War as a levy under Thomas Kade (302 AC).
  • Females are all dishonorably discharged from the Regalian Guard. Hannah turns to drugs and alcohol, odd jobs, and eventually crime. Her father assists her in her endeavors. The Lexen civil war begins (302 AC).
  • Lexen civil war ends, Hannah keeps going with crime (303 AC).
  • Hannah disguises herself as a male, rejoining the Regalian Guard. Soon after, the Anahera occupation occurs, and Hannah works with various prisoners to deliver messages and Unionist sermons to churches under the name "Adam Ueltec" (303 AC - 305 AC)
  • Hannah is discovered in the Regalian Guard, discharged again. She begins her service under Astrid Kade after briefly serving House Ravenstad. She serves Astrid throughout the Lo occupation (305 AC).
  • Astrid retires to a village in Dorrin, and Hannah requests service under House Kade once more. She is made the first female Imperial Guard, Hannah the Sentinel.
  • Hannah serves dutifully from then on, and presently participates in the Kathar war.
 

Attachments

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Last edited:
I am reviewing this character!
  • In her life goal, describe -how- she intends to get women in the regalian forces. Also, unless I'm mistaken, women may serve in war.
  • I'd like you to add one weakness to her; her tendency to rely on strengths, against assumedly stronger opponents, is already a bit far, so level her off with some good combat oriented weaknesses.
Progress: Pending!
 
Ohhhh. I can update it. I'll need a little while however. I'll tag you once it's finished.~
 
Review!

You claim that she lives in an Estate in Ithania, on a private island no less - how so? Having been born on a farm, and otherwise too busy fighting wars and improving her combat, where did she come across the wealth to manage what would be more suited to a Baroness?

Within her body description, you mention that she holds scars from an Avarr. Seeing as they fell to extinction a long while ago, I'd suggest changing this to any other creature - if you really mean to keep the wound.

Within her dislikes, you state that she dislikes the sight of blood. Regardless of this, she persistently fights as both a guard for the Violet Order and Nobility, using weapons that would draw blood. Why is that?

I see you've included a number of relationships in regards to those individuals who've helped her progress, but I'd love if you could incorporate how they did so in her life story. How Jared or Thomas trained her, and so on. Nothing in extravagant detail, mind you,but more so for the sake of her Regalian experiences being more highlighted.

Tag me once you've made the edits, @AlphaInsomnia , and feel free to ask any questions!~
 
Just a quuuuuick question, @TheBioverse . The scar occured within Regalia back when Avarr were still playable (and it happened in RP). Does this mean enough time has passed that Hannah would logically be dead?
 
AlphaInsomnia said:
beep
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

The Avarr were essentially not supposed to be in Regalia publicly to begin with, so don't sweat it. If for any reason we weren't suffer the scar wound, there's nothing to say that she'd have lived or died. It's a little like.. you decide the way your character dies. If you wanted her to fall to this wound, then you could. OR; you could simply make it a weakness that acts up from time to time, depending on how deep it is.

In short, no. But, any wounds your characters do suffer in the future should have some weakening effect on them. Sort of like mini-character progression. But by no means are you forced to kill them off because of any wound. That's all up to you. ~

@AlphaInsomnia
 
Aah, I see. Well, regardless, there's no need for you to consider her wound as lethal. Especially for something as long ago as that. @AlphaInsomnia
 
Here is my review!
  • I'm not buying the looking innocent and weak deceptive trait. People form the school of Blackmarks are generally built like tanks and all scarred up and stuff. I don't think she could be Warrior Blackmark and also look innocent and weak. One of your strengths should really be your Blackmark training, so I would recommend replacing this one with that.
  • The fiddling around weakness is a little lite on content since one of the sentences if a fragment. Describe this a little more. What sorts of behaviors does she display when she is fiddling around?
  • Socially awkward is also a bit lite on content. Maybe give an example on something that flew over her head that the average person would understand?
  • The two combat weaknesses are sufficiently balancing, but they are also lite on content describe these a little more with 1-2 sentences, creative choice on what content is added.
  • Are there any changes in the life story? It's a bit over the max so if all its content was previous approved I won't re-review that part.
Make edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
 
@LoreStaff, ready for a re-review! Sorry about the incredibly long life story, but this is around a 4-5 year character, and there is a LOT to cover.
 
  • Expand on the third and fourth paragraphs of personality. They need to be, at the minimum, 3-4 sentences long.
  • Please condense your life story. You can spoiler what you currently have as chronicles but I want you to condense all of the important information and events into bullet notes, preferably formatted to distinguish between childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
Mark your edits in red and tag me when you have made the appropriate changes. @AlphaInsomnia
 
Claimed
 
Approved.
 
Your application looks mostly good! There are just one object that need to be touched up on:
  • Currently you have your age listed as 45, which would lead you to have 50 possible points to spend. As it currently stands, you have only spent 40. You may allocate up to 10 more points, if you so desire.
  • This is not part of any required section, yet it seems the files and links to the images on the application seem to be broken. Whether or not you wish to fix that is up to you.
Once you have completed the requested changes, mark them in Blue, and then please tag me. Thank you!
@AlphaInsomnia
 
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