Preserved Sheet Grayson Prejaun

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Tenmaku

J.A.P.A.N
Joined
Jan 24, 2016
Messages
25
Reaction score
51
Points
178
Location
Wakanda
Faction
Mithril
Kingdom
N/A
Basic Information
  • Full Name: Grayson Colensin Préjaun
  • Age: 25
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Ailor
  • Main Ambition: To become a prominent nobility
  • Special Permission: Logistics Commander


  • House Préjaun have gained privilege of becoming a Low Nobility. His family and grandparents did what they could to gain this title. The family main lineage consist of the three children and there two parents. By selling jewelry and various clothings, the family has led to great wealth in their lives.
  • Grayson and his other siblings were born in a manor in the Southern parts of Inthania. The children were heavily influenced by Le culture.
  • Another ambition of Tenmaku's is to learn more about his family ties. Not having very much information, he would like to discover further beyond his grandparents.

Visual Information

  • Eye Color: Bluish Gray
  • Hair Color: Frost Gray dye, Black natural
  • Hair Style: Combed and Medium Length
  • Skin Color: Light Tan
  • Clothing: Purple jacket with gray accents. Deep black trousers and boots.
  • Height: 5'10
  • Weight: 169 lbs
  • Body-build: Average
  • Weapon of Choice: One Handed Short-sword

Personality and Abilities

  • Adventurous: Grayson enjoys seeing new things and places, as it gives him a thrill to see all the parts of Regalia that he can see. It was an exciting and scary experience when he first arrived in Regalia, but with some simply exploration, he grew more comfortable with his new surroundings. If there was ever another chance to see something else brand new to him, the baron will highly consider going out to see it himself.

  • Loyal: Grayson wont usually switch between two sides in an heated situation, unless he has something to fight for on the other side or feels betrayed by one. If one manages to come to his assistance, he'll come to theirs no matter what the situation is. It's something he'll commonly do, and she doesn't plan on betraying any allies or trusted people that he made relations with.

  • Friendly: Grayson is a very friendly person. He enjoys meeting new people and interacting with them. He loves seeing new people and getting to know them better as friends.

  • Messy: He seeing his personal belongings, they appear to be cluttered and unorderly. His workstations are cluttered with papers and various other items. He will also tell others business when it does not concern him.

  • Vengeful: When ever something bad happens to him, he tends to try to go after who ever he feels is responsible for the wrong doing. He will tend to hunt that person down and seek revenge for whatever they have done. He will also try to mess up things in that persons life until he satisfies himself.

  • Sensitive: He is a very sensitive person. If anything gets to him he will try to blow it off in a public setting, but when in private he will let his emotions take hold. He will sometimes be in private for days at a time because of his sensitivity.

Strengths
  • Athletic: Grayson has been an athletic person for most of his life. Taking a morning jog every other day, he maintains an average peak body. He occasionally works out, but he has no interest in committing to it daily.
  • Good Memory: Grayson's memory is high above average, and nearly photographic. This comes from their years and years of training in shadow magic, with the obvious requirement of a good memory. This training also helped increase Tenmaku's ability to retain information in general, as opposed to just difficult similarities and differences. These memories typically aren't extremely detailed, and can be lost with time.
  • Instincts: He follows his mind before anything else or other's opinions. Using his wit, it helps most of the time in situations. He not only uses this is field situations, but in the most simplest ones too.
  • Tactical: When coming to a battle situation or a simple game, Grayson will use any and every variable in order to succeed. Learning war strategies from former officers, he saw their strengths and weakness when it came to the battles. His personality has slightly changed from this, leaning more to the decision making side of life. Beforehand he couldn't deceit to save his life, but now he can not only use it in his speech to acquire what he desires, but it a battle situation too.
Weaknesses
  • Ruthlessness: He can be ruthless in battle and can't stop when he starts most of the time. His enemies fear him, his allies don't want to argue for fear of upsetting him and him lashing out though most of the time he is trying to remain self-controlled. He has to be grabbed and calmed down at times or he will lose himself and do something he would regret.
  • Flat Footed: Grayson has had foot problems since his earlier youth. His arches in both his feet are fallen and he has difficulties walking after prolonged periods of time. There is no way of treating this, so he does not tend to be out and about for long without taking rests.
  • Short Tempered: Though he tries to seem as calm as he can while acting, he cannot help but feel anger as if it were a short fuse. Should someone somehow press the wrong buttons on him, he'll commonly, acting or not, react in a sour remark insulting the person with something that is relevant to his findings. Crayson is quite sensitive, though doesn't react in sadness, rather, anger. This can often lead him to seem extremely immature, as well as expose his act as a gig.
  • Fear: Grayson has a fear of Urs. He sees them as something he should fear and tries to stay away from them. He will start sweating and become speechless when in the presence of an Ur.
Life Story
Grayson Colesin Préjaun was born of January 28th. Tenmaku was born in Inthania, to Aléric and Caroline Préjaun . Grayson is the second oldest in the children, the oldest being his twin brother Warren and the youngest being his sister, Camryn. The children were born in a manor in the southern parts of Inthania. Their father often had to go on trading ships to earn money so his mother raised the children. Her father started a tradition where he would bring back a treasure each time he went on a trip. Warren and him were close during their childhood, frequently exploring the forest or fencing with with sticks in a lake. He also spent time with his sister, helping her play with dolls and other childish things to keep her company. During his early childhood, his father hired tutors in order to further his sons' education in history and politics. After his tutors were finished teaching him the basics of tactical work, his father sent him and Warren to a military tactician camp for the next 2 years with the funds of the lords helping his family with tuition to server in the military when called one day.
Grayson and his brother Warren were sent to L'école de l'esprit féminin Supérieur to further the knowledge in tactics. At the age of 15, they both stayed at the academy for 5 years, considering themselves to be skilled tacticians before leaving.
As a youth, Grayson was adventurous and curious. Everyday, he spent his time outdoors and discovering new thing along the way. His curiosity drove him to be quite independent. Him and his brother had enough with Inthania and wanted to explore the world just as their father had. Their father did not want either of his children getting involved with trade, but that just made Warren want to be more involved. Through convincing, Concord gave permission for his two sons to travel to Regalia, as their success with selling Inthanian wine brought them great prosperity. Him and his brother left their home in Ithania when they were both 20.
The other part of the Préjaun family came over to Regalia in the later months. Grayson introduced himself with the other citizens in Regalia, making new partnerships and friends. His family have successfully moved into their estate without any complications. Moving to Regalia gave him the urge to explore and travel more. As of now, Grayson is currently residing in Regalia living in the Anderson estate where he plans on making his life their. You will most likely see him at the tavern or in the various parks in the city.
 
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QUICK PEER REVIEW:​
  • It's Ithania, not INthania ^3^
  • If his family is Ithanian, why the Chi' name? Not that it's not allowed, just a curiosity of mine and probably some other peers.
  • You should expand on his ambitions and goals. Is there a particular reason as to why he wants more knowledge?
  • You should add one more, negative personality trait. It creates balance, and readers enjoy a thorough personality.
  • the word 'defying' should be changed to 'daring' or 'provocative'.
  • His personality should be a little more fleshed out. All personality traits should be a beefy 4-5 sentences, and explained thoroughly. In addition, you could also beef out his physical information just a tad more, though that's not a necessity. Details!
  • Should 'follows his instincts' really be considered a strength?
  • Where did Tenmaku learn to use a short sword? Is he good with it? Remember that 23 is a young age- there should be a reasonable boundary between dedication to magic and weapons combat.
  • His lifestory /could/ be more fleshed out. It seems a little rushed, and it has gaps in his timeline that should be proofreaded. Try to make his lifestory a little more fluent, without jumping from occasion to occasion absent a decent transition.
  • There are a few spelling/grammar mistakes here and there.
  • The Lore staff /may/ ask you to remove the spacing between bullets. Be prepared for that!
Thoughts:
  • This is an application that I honestly enjoyed reading. It kept me interested and I'm glad to see another striving low noble.
  • I like the type of person that Tenmaku is. Reminds me a little bit of myself.
  • All in all, the application was a very good read, but it needs to be beefed out a tad! Good luck with your lore staff review :).
  • @Tenmaku
 
If his family is Ithanian, why the Chi' name? Not that it's not allowed, just a curiosity of mine and probably some other peers.

The name Tenmaku has personal and sentimental value to me irl, so I try to use it with at least one OC I can. Thank you for the peer review, I'll make adjustments when I get home.
 
Hola, I'll be reviewing this application.
  • Regardless of whether or not the name Tenmaku has sentimental value, it is not feasible for him to have it as someone of Ithanian descent. If you insist on keeping it that way, I strongly suggest that you give a legitimate IC reason for such. For example, maybe his parents were anthropologists who studied Ch'ien-Ji.
  • Mages cannot be very athletic, especially if they are studying two forms of magic. It's one or the other.
  • You have four positive personality traits and only two negative ones. Please fix that. The two negative traits are phrased to not sound very negative. Something that's actually a true bad quality that can be conveyed through IC interaction.
 
Tactical is written more as a strength than a part of his personality. Move it to strengths and add a new positive inclined personality trait.

Add one weakness of any sort.

Colour all changes in blue and tag me when you're done