Frejnir Of Norrlan

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by xX_OliverOnly_Xx, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Fate whispers to the Warrior,
    "You cannot withstand the storm"
    And the Warrior whispers back,
    "I am the storm".


    {Theme | The Impossible Dream}
    {Pinterest}
    [​IMG]

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    Full Name | Frejnir Ardigesonn Viduggla av Norrlan
    » Known Aliases | Freddie, Frej, Karl​
    Age | Twenty-Three years of age
    » Date of Birth | January 9, 284 A.C.​
    Sex | Male
    Race | Velheim Ailor
    Prefered Weapon | Steel Longsword
    Eye Color | Pale Blue
    » Voice Claim | Tom Hardy
    » Face Claim | Taron Egerton

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    Religion | A Velheimer, Frejnir is a worshipper of the Old Gods through and through, even though forcefully converted to Unionism.

    General Concept | Frejnir is, in essence, a stereotypical school jock; Egotistical, arrogant, always seeking attention, he strives to impress no matter who his company is, and will go great lengths to earn respect from others. His knightly status and newly awarded title of 'Count' has only boosted his ego. He simply believes he is the 'best' at everything.


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    ◈ Core Points | 50 Points, 10 Hobbies
    » +15 Sword Combat (+15 Points)
    » +8 Light Bow Combat (+8 Points)
    » +5 Fist Combat (+5 Points)​

    Talents
    » +5 Perception Training (+5 Points)​

    Hobbies
    » +10 Cooking Art (+10 Hobby)
    » +5 Hunting Art (+5 Points)​

    Body Shape
    » Body Stat | 26
    » Body Build | Muscular
    » Body Fat | Low Body Fat​

    Languages - 6 Points
    » Skodje | Mother Tongue
    » Leutz-Vixe | Learned in Regalia
    » d'Ithanie | Learned through First Wife
    » Common | Learned in Norrlan​

    Abilities
    » Vampirism [ACTIVE] - Dorkarth
    Base Kit



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    Abnormalities | As a veteran soldier and hunter, Frejnir has a number of scars, including the more noticeable three running along his face, given to him by a bear.

    General Appearance | Frejnir is a tall, muscular man, with his face a mix between a boyish and chiseled appearance. The Velheimer's attire varies, but he most notably wears capes with almost every outfit he owns, even in his armor despite its tactical disadvantages.

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    Childhood
    » Frejnir was born to Ardige Viduggla and his wife, Karin, in the province of Norrlan, and the youngest of four children. He was a rambunctious and curious child who always poked his nose where it didn't belong. Always within the shadow of his brothers, he strived to prove himself to his father, doing whatever it took to gain his attention.​

    Adolescence
    » Aiming to take this a step further, Frejnir opted to join the Bloodcast Order in hopes of becoming one of the most famous and renowned knights in Aloria, hoping it would take him a step further in placing himself in his father’s spotlight. In the latter years of his training, Frejnir was sent to Drixagh to help his people fend off against the Regalian invaders, but to no avail, the Viduggla was forced to retreat.​

    Adulthood & Regalia
    » Finally graduating from the Bloodcast Order, Frejnir– despite the bad blood between him and the Regalians, decided to sail off to the Crown Isle to reconnect with the family he had there, where he would marry and divorce twice, form and break friendships, and swing from multiple guard organizations. After house Rodsvar dissolved, Frejnir opted to remove himself from the noble scene entirely to focus on his knightly duties.​
     
    • Winner x 21
    • Cuddles! x 3
    • Powerful x 2
    • Immersive x 1
    • Educated x 1
    • Funny x 1
    • Friendly x 1
    #1 xX_OliverOnly_Xx, Jan 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2022
  2. fantuinn

    fantuinn most honest biped in athens Staff Member Lore2

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    Peer Review!​
    • Overall, this app is incredible. Love the detail, love the aesthetic, etc etc.
    • Only one real gripe, and that's the weakness "Short Tempered".
    • This doesn't fit with Skagger at all, as Skagger Warriors are trained to keep their rage intact, before even starting to berserk.
    • "To reduce the number of wandering warriors who are a feather’s drop away from a violent rage, all members of the Skagger Order are taught extensively to follow the rules of their organization at the threat of persecution and banishment in legal courts. Save for disgraced deviants, the Skagger Order typically instills new members with significant emotional control to prevent them from flying into an unnecessary use of their powerful fury."
    • Considering how, Frejnir isn't disgraced, I'd suggest removing this weakness.
     
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  3. Caduceus_Clayy

    Caduceus_Clayy "Something will be here"

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    Just a suggestion but make certain key parts in the personality section bold.
     
  4. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    Oof, I did it on the doc but it d i s a p p e a r e d
     
  5. SnashuuPomaymay

    SnashuuPomaymay lol die

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    How dARE. Butthankyou. owo
     
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  6. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    I'll be reviewing this application. @Owiver_
     
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  7. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Great sheet so far. I'll dive into the review now:

    I'm not sold on this. Judging by the rest of the app, it seems Frejnir is hardly affected by an inability to socialize, and I just am of the opinion it doesn't fit within his character as you've played him off. I'd recommend removing this and replacing it. Perhaps in his low self-esteem and such, he feels the need to impress? Maybe it causes him to act out? Etc.

    I would have to disagree with the alignment choice here. Being just and such doesn't entirely fit. He should be an individualist, work for his own whims and wishes, and Chaotic Neutrals even actively avoid the law and justice, in favour of a liberty mindset. I think you should either:
    • Revisit what being Chaotic Neutral means, and rewrite this somewhat.
    • Or perhaps explore a different alignment if you feel he really needs to be just and have these moral ideologies.
    Hunting and Survival skills sort of follow the same trend, and can be combined into one talent. You should also specify his skills at hunting animals do not give him an extra combat skill with a bow, on top of being a Skagger, because shooting an animal and a person are two different actions. Not pointing out that you did this, but rather I feel you should specify it for the sake of not having that bump in the road ever occur.

    Alcoholism is a cop out weakness, and I'd advise removing it altogether. If you want to replace it, you're welcome to, but you're not required to as you already have two functional weaknesses to counteract three talents, if you choose to add on a third.

    Make all changes in purple and tag me when you're done!

     
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  8. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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  9. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    • Winner Winner x 1
  10. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Mooffins
    • Added more to life story
    • Changed hair color to Chocolate Brown
    • Changed Short Temper to Easily Agitated
    • Added more relationships
     
  11. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Still approved.
     
  12. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Mooffins
    Re-did the app in the new format.
     
  13. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    So, the problem here is that for any school, the minimum age of starting a person's training is 10 years old. Frejnir is only 19, and that would mean he still has 1 year left before he gets his +10 in all three Skagger Proficiencies. So unless he is aged up to at least 20 years old, his spread should be as follows if you keep the other points where they are:

    • +18 Skagger Axe (+10 from Velheim Culture, +8 from Proficiency Points)
    • +5 Tracking (+5 from Proficiency Points)
    • +3 Horse Riding (+3 from Proficiency Points)
    • +3 Unarmed Combat (+3 from Proficiency Points)
    Let me know if you decide to age him up a year to allow for the 10 points investment to be complete, or if you simply take out the +10 in all three skills. @Owiver_
     
  14. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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  15. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Since he's now 20, these should be adjusted to 20 points.

    Because he spent the 10 years at the Skagger school, you need to take off 10 points to use, that means he has 10 left to spend. You've spent 19 in the Proficiency section, which is 9 more than you have left. Please adjust this.

    Culture points are fine, but you have 1 point left you can spend there.
     
  16. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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  17. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  18. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Mooffins
    • Edited proficiencies:
      • +13 Tracking (+10 from School of Skagger, +3 from Proficiency points)
      • +7 Unarmed Combat (+7 from Proficiency Points)
    • Added more to life story
    • Removed Easily Agitated from Weaknesses
    • Removed Weapon of Choice and Main Ambition
    • Added Sexuality
    • Minor wording edits
     
  19. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  20. SpoopMelon

    SpoopMelon Persephone

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    uwu add the fact that his wife left him uwu
     
  21. nath_n

    nath_n Mamba Mentality

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    Questionably Heterosexual**
     
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  22. Daekon

    Daekon gay

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    **Homosexual
     
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  23. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Mooffins
    • Changed Tracking from 13 to 10 points
    • Changed Unarmed fighting from 7 to 10 points
    • Changed height from 6'1" to 6'3"
     
  24. Mooffins

    Mooffins ancient gay Supremium

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    Such a minor thing doesn't need a re-review. Approved still.
     
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  25. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Mooffins Another update
    • Aged him up to 21
    • Completely re-did the second personality paragraph
    • Changed Unarmed Combat from +10 to +5
    • Added Anglian Longbow +6 to Proficiencies
    • Added another paragraph to life story
     
    #25 xX_OliverOnly_Xx, Jul 2, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2018
  26. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    The changes look in order. Reapproved.
     
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  27. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Bagley_ Updated the app to the new format.
     
    #27 xX_OliverOnly_Xx, Sep 23, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2018
  28. AtticCat

    AtticCat haeksen van regalia

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    uwu
     
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  29. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Common now takes up a language slot, meaning you're over your limit. @OliverTheQu33n
     
  30. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Bagley_ removed tunge.
     
  31. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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  32. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Reapproved.
     
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  33. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    Made a small update pertaining to the Skagger re-write!
     
  34. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Bagley_
    Redid proficiencies, life story, and aged up to 22
     
  35. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Reapproved.
     
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  36. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    @Bagley_ Small update. Gave up statesman and added those points to frontline combat
     
  37. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Reapproved.
     
  38. xX_OliverOnly_Xx

    xX_OliverOnly_Xx sugoi

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    Bumping the thread. Old reviewer is no longer staff.
     
  39. booette

    booette liar and milf lover Staff Member Lore1

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    Hello mister OliverOnly!

    I have claimed this for review. Expect it shortly!
     
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  40. booette

    booette liar and milf lover Staff Member Lore1

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    Well done! Approved.
     
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