Fjolra Gandogar Faerid "Akur akir akam." - "The faithful are rewarded in gold." Character Information Full Name: Fjolra Gandogar Faerid Race: Dwarf Age: 49 Gender: Male Eye Color: Dark Green Core Concept Fjolra is a middle aged dwarf and an experienced sailor. And while he knows his way around a forge like many other dwarves, his passion lies in building, repairing and maintaining ships both big and small. But following his passion in Regalia has led him to bankruptcy, and he now searches for a new path in life. Proficiency Information § + 2 Strength Melee Point-buy Demolisher Pack Cheap Pack § + 6 Constitution Defensive Point-buy Block Pack Bulwark Pack Counterplay Pack Ironheart Pack Training Point-buy Resilience Pack [Racial 3] Bruteforce Pack Heavyweight Pack [Racial 4] Crafting Point-buy Metallurgy Craft Pack [Racial 1] Wood Craft Pack § + 3 Wisdom Artificer Point Buy (Servotech) Barricade Pack Tussling Pack Automaton Pack Specials (6/6) Hair-chem Patent Servo-Golem Patent Biotic Patent Addiotic Patent Appliance Patent Chassis Patent § + 3 Dexterity Roguery Trickery Pack Balance Pack [Racial] Firearms Prepared Pack Buster Pack § + 0 Magic § + 0 Charisma Languages Common (Free) Barrudh (Parents) Appearance Information Physical Description: Fjolra is 4'5, short when compared to most other dwarves though nothing abnormal. But what he lacks in height he makes up for in mass, being both broad with a small protuding stomach. He has dark brown, almost black skin and bright red hair that usually hangs in a long, thick braid down his back, with the tips of his hair glowing like smouldering embers. The right side of his face is covered in a large swathe of burn scars. He is heavily tattoo'd, his back covered in the body of a giant squid with it's tentacles tattoo'd wrapping his arms, legs and torso. (Outdated) Spoiler Life Story Fjolra was born in the Kongehaug, living most of his early life with a couple of velheim shipwrights. Even when he was old enough to be raised by his dwarven parents, both of whom were guards near the docks, he sat near the drydocks and watched ships get built. Fjolra's teenage years were filled with getting trained by his parents to become a guard while he studied hard under the couple that used to babysit him to become a shipwright as well. Eventually he earned himself an apprenticeship at a nearby drydock. When Fjolra became an adult and graduated as a full-fledged shipwright, he joined up with a reputable merchant vessel to sail the seas. From that point on he would bounce from ship to ship, learning what he could about different kinds of vessels and taking that experience with him to the next ship. After more than a decade of doing trade with a moderate amount of success, his luck finally ran out after the ship he was on was boarded by pirates, where he got badly burned. As a result of the battle, the crew was forced to turn the ship towards the nearest land, with Fjolra going his own way and heading towards Regalia to continue his trade.
Reapproved! As a personal note, be sure to make any future changes in a different color so I can better see what was updated.
@KrakenLord01 Heyo, I just noticed I accidentally removed the Iron Family Metallurgy when I wad editing my char last time, re-added it now
@KrakenLord01 Heyo, I've redone some profs to add some clockwork and new-ish profs to the char that have been marked in Blue
@KrakenLord01 Heyo, due to the low likelyhood of steamtek getting a full rework, I've decided to move away from a non-combat dwarf. I've marked the changes in BLUE
@KrakenLord01 I am once again asking for your approval Apparently dwarves get all of the racials and I didn't have to pick-and-chose, so I've once again redone the things in blue. Hopefully this will be the last one for a while
@KrakenLord01 I lied, that wasn't the last one due to getting infected. The changes have been put in BLUE once again
@Quesios Hi there, I'll be taking over the re-review as it seems some time has passed since then. I'm aware that you know of the new Engineering point-buy, so I'll give you some time to transition into that or into something else before I start the review!
@Jouster Heyo, thanks for picking the app up. I don't know what you prefer or if you've already read through it, but I'll leave the changes in BLUE so you know what I've changed.
@Quesios I'll now sift through your changes and let you know of any existing complications! Life Story The only qualm I have about this is that it mentions that Fjolra and his pirate companions targeted Isldar vessels whenever possible. However, the Isldar do not possess a navy of any sorts if that is what you were referring to. Be free to look for a workaround, but as it stands the current Isldar Society possesses no known naval force. The small detail above is the only inconsistency I found. Other than that, the rest of the app is well made. You nailed the new Engineering Update information! It's nice to have more Dwarves consistently roleplayed. You're free to revert the text in blue back to its original color as everything checks out; tag me when you complete the above and your app will be approved.
My bad, I was under the impression that they had sea vessels. I have changed the blurb from targeting Isldar vessels to raiding inland, and added a bit on what they were doing in the meantime.
For the most part, Isldar Society is pretty recluse to those outside of their holds. Regardless, I'll grant this the thumbs-up from me and the approval tag. Go on and represent Aloria's Dwarves!
@Jouster Hello, I've switched leatherworking to sculpting, and hopefully fixed the part in the backstory.
@Quesios I've read it over! Skill Information If I'm not mistaken, you should have 3 proficiency points left to use if it ever comes to mind (15 + 15 + 8 +5 + 4). Your Physical Stat calculation is correct, but I would rewrite what sums up to 27. It should be "9 Metallurgy + 2.5 Sculpting Art + 2.5 Wooden Art + 4 Light Ranged Combat + 5 Spear Combat + 4 Shielding Combat." Life Story The only qualms I have upon rereading the Life Story is that there is a lack of writing on Fjolra learning his Art Proficiencies and Engineering. Write these parts into it, and you'll be good to go.
@Jouster Heyo, I've expanded his backstory to include learning said proficiencies, and rewrote the stat calculation. I've also added the three 'missing' points that didn't count up. Didn't change any profs, I've just clarified that I put 18 points into metallurgy, and that that the Honed Skill 1 was used to add a free pack, totalling 21 points into Metallurgy. I hope this has fixed what was missing or otherwise unclear. I've coloured everything that has been changed and added in BLUE.
Ability Information Racial Abilities do not get listed here unless you have the choice to pick which racial abilities you get (e.g Ailors picking 3 of their own racial abilities). This is the only blurb that shouldn't be on the application.
@Jouster Wahey, got new art for the lad that I've added, and switched out some profs that i never use for something that I think will go better with him.
Your physical stat is now 28 (27.5 rounded up). Minor fix: change "Dwarven" in Languages to "Dwarvish" to be Aloria-accurate. Combine your two physical description bullets into one bullet point. This is all I have to point out. Fix these, and Fjolra will be re-approved!