Preserved Sheet Edouard Lambert

This sheet was missing a prefix or has not been edited for a long period of time. Please create a ticket including a linkif your sheet was moved in error.

R_O_B_E_rt

Proud orthodox
Joined
Dec 26, 2012
Messages
114
Reaction score
294
Points
0
Age
27
Location
Raptum
Faction
Raptum
Kingdom
The Qaliphate
Basic Information

  • Full Name: Edouard Lambert
  • Age: Thirty
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Url
Skill Information

Total Points: 30
  • + 20 Hunting Knowledge (+20 from Url Racial)
  • + 10 Unarmed Combat (+10 from Racial)
  • + 15 Extra Heavy Combat (+15 From points)
  • + 15 Athletic Training (+15 From points)
  • + 10 Bodycare training (From Ithanian culture boost)
Body Shape
  • Physical Stat = 45
  • Strongman
  • Low body fat
Languages
  • Common (learned in childhood)
  • Ithanian (learned as an Ithanian)
  • Leutz Vixe (learned at school)


Visual Information


  • Eye Color: Predominantly Red with a yellow tint.
  • Hair Color: Brown
  • Hair Style: Scruffy and unkept though not unclean.
  • Skin Color: An olive tone through most of his skin, much darker in its expected areas.
  • Clothing: Armor or very light clothing.
  • Height: 6'11
Personality and Abilities

  • Edouard as an Ailor was seen differently by all sorts of people. To some he was a honest and caring guardsman who always tried to do his best. Others saw him as blatantly corrupt and walking far beyond the boundaries of what was acceptable. Often spouting semi-jacobinist ideals, yet preaching for more militarization, particularly in Ithania. He was, however, unmistakably dutiful in his role as a house guard. Post-Symbiosis Edouard to outsiders may come across as almost frightening, being that he can be more outwardly aggressive than most other Al-Url. With his idealism curbed, however, those who detested him on grounds of xenophilia may respect him ever so slightly more due to his lack of Jacobinist views.
  • Edouard pre-Symbiosis was always a repressed and pent up man, and he knew it. His easiest forms of expressions were stolen from him as he was forced to submit to matriarchal powers and an oppressive Regalian culture, which he detested both ultimately. He never viewed himself as a half-jacobinist, yet his beliefs are more in line with a neo-jacobinist than the majority of the citizens of the empire. After his Symbiosis with the Oorl, he sees himself as being far more free from the bonds that held him previously. Aggression and rage that previously were kept under the surface can boil over without the same expectation that would be placed on an Ailor.
  • Edouard has and always will be loving and caring, always forgiving yet never losing his frankness in his words. There is little he wouldn't do for someone he feels bound to, always ready to get involved in the action or to intervene in a small issue. He was prone to some catastrophic emotional breakdowns in the past, usually caused from placing too much trust in someone. After the Oorl fused to him, he has become a lot more emotionally secure in handling loved ones, and certainly not prone to meltdowns.
  • Edouard's morality is staunchly a combination of law and good, uncompromisingly so. He does however possess a very strong militant attitude when combating perceived enemy forces. He gives his all to defeat those he finds evil. Morality is not something he would compromise on. Though he may be tested and sometimes drift dangerously close to falling from the high moral ground he has always placed himself on, he bounces back. The Symbiosis caused Edouard's new found hunter mentality to seek out dangerous foes, particularly vampires, who he views as beasts worthy of the hunt. He has no moral objections to slaughtering vampires and takes great pride in his capacity to take a vampire's life.


Life Story

Birth | 276 a.c.

  • Born to Jean and Isabelle Lambert in a rural area of Ithania

Childhood | 1 - 10

  • Being a middle child amongst others, as a baby he was taken care of primarily by his mother and elder sister.
  • Growing up as a quite typical toddler, he expressed himself well and often made quick childhood friends easily. He'd always seek to play games with his friends and brothers.
  • As his feelings and thoughts began taking shape, he was a notably conscientious child, often asking in vain if he could help whenever his family members suffered a hardship.
  • Often his nature lead him to being untrusted by some of the other younger children, who saw him as the sort of boy who would run and tell should they do something wrong. Causing him to be frequently deceived and lied to in order to preserve the secrecy of what the people close to him were doing.
  • As his father returned home, his mother convinced him to put the funds he'd raised through service into having the young Edouard enrolled with the school of the Lion Pelt. Although they were Leutz, his family felt that he would make a good fit into the order.
Teenage Years | 10 - 20

  • After making his way to the school at the young age of fourteen, he was immediately set to training. He set about his first year's tasks as best as he could, only being the young boy that he was, nevertheless, he set to the task diligently and without question.
  • Edouard often got a lot of ridicule by his Leutz peers, who often laughed at him for being a little more pudgy than other kids and for the sheer fact of him being Ithanian.
  • He started alongside others of his age, though often went above and beyond the normal training regiment and often asked others in his class to train with him, where he'd focus on training to improve each others physical strength. Edouard started to really bulk himself.
  • After a few years of training and being given his practice beorl axe, he took to the training pits every day without fail to practice personal combat with his peers. While often bested due to his initial reluctance to hit his peers, his skills began to steadily improve with each fight.

Recent Times | 20 - Now

  • After graduating at 24, Edouard quickly found work in house d'Ortonnaise, being quickly scooped up as one of the few proper Ithanians of the order. After the fall of the House, he moved onto house Sorenvik. Although they paid much less than d'Ortonnaise, he felt it the most honorable family to serve, and managed to afford the tithe.
  • During service in the city guard, Edouard suffered crippling and debilitating wounds, losing his functions in his legs. He searched far and wide to find a cure or some way to mend his injury. With his loved ones in turmoil caused by the vampire outbreak, and the feeling of helplessness weighing down on him, he took the only action known to him. He had an Oorl worm imported from Jorhildr.
 
Last edited:
Hey! How are you today?
I'll be tossing in my two cents as a Peer Review!


Firstly, it is highly unlikely for Edouard to maintain a Stocky build during his time in the Casting Crucible, the physically intense regimen of training instilled by the School would see him to a Muscular build. Unless you wish to expand upon how he attained such a body type, I recommend changing it.

Now, onto the actual review!

Fixes to your personality and traits section;
  • I see little flaw with your first personality paragraph, however, please expand with an extra sentence on how his actions can be perceived, for example, does he act courtly around those he meets, or is he rather relaxed?
  • Your second paragraph is well written, short and sweet. However, please directly state one type of anxiety he bares by expanding with an extra paragraph, whilst nitpicky, this will help you consider how Edouard will act in more roleplay situations, as well as providing a more balanced read.
  • Your third paragraph could use a bit of expansion into a possible comparison of how he is around friends, compared to his family. Does he treat his parents with more respect than other people? Does anything change if his friends act out of line, is he forgiving?
  • Your fourth paragraph is nicely written, no changes needed!
Moving swiftly onward to your Skill section!
  • On your strength of "Extreme Fortitude"
  • Please expand on this talent with at least 2 more sentences, detailing an example of his pain tolerance, as well as a short explanation of how this talent came to be. Whilst stating that his training brought it about is good, that would make him average in terms of fortitude amongst his peers. As such, possibly adding the fact that he has a natural tolerance for pain may make a good addition.
  • On your strength of "Sense of Motivation"
  • Please rewrite this talent to discuss motivation, rather than what seems to be a talent more attributed to a "Perceptive" nature as it states that he is good at reading other people's intents. Please rename this talent, or re-write it to follow the title more closely.
  • On your strength of "Willpower"
  • Firstly, a nitpick before I offer my review of this. Please ensure that this talent is not powergamed in roleplay, an entirely unbreakable will is both borderline impossible, as well as unrealistic.
  • Please expand on how this talent came to be, whilst you roughly state an application of this talent, I would recommend that you expand with at least two more sentences about other applications of this talent, as torture isn't in his everyday, how else does this talent help him? A suggestion for an addition could be based upon an innate ability to focus closely on tasks.
  • Overall for this section!
  • Nicely written but a fair amount of development will really complete the section!
Ah, almost done here! Onto the life story!
  • Please expand a little into the development of each of his talents. Whilst, of course you have already taken his fortitude into account through his training, Bloodcast does not have a training regimen for willpower or being perceptive of the misdeeds of others. Possibly he spent a lot of time around people as a child? Ithanians are very sociable people.
  • I suggest making mention of the typical Ithanian culture, stating his relationships with women, and other men. This can be a crucial part of an Ithanian character, due to the oppression of males, and the Espirit D'homme. This can really add some depth to your character, also.
  • A nitpicky point, but nevertheless. How did he attain the funds to pay for his Mother's care?
Now, it's down to you whether you make these changes, but guidelines are good, no?
Happy Editing!
 
Let's get right into the review!
Make these changes in blue and tag me when you're done!


Visual Information

  • When it comes to your character's choice of weapon, I almost feel as if it's too broad and general. Those who have attended the School of Bloodcast wield a sword and a typical heater/kite shield.
Personality and Abilities
  • Please make sure that each paragraph is between four to five sentences in length.
  • In your third paragraph, I would like to see another sentence or two added expanding on how your character acts towards friends, not just family specifically.
Talents
  • Let's have each paragraph be at least three sentences in length.
  • Since your character has attended the School of Bloodcast, I would like you to add his actual training as a talent.
 
Bump, Finally changed the proficiency stuff over, everything else is the same.
 
My Review:
  • Please remove the Talents section as that is no longer part of the character application template.
  • As the Wiki says "Military Order Schools require a student to enter at the age of 10...while the only remaining limitation is that Schools are in specific places meaning a character must spend 10 years in that specific place. Schools take 10 years to graduate from, meaning they require a 10 Proficiency Point investment. When graduation comes, these 10 invested proficiency points are tripled and divided over different Proficiencies provided by the school..." I please ask that you reorder your life story to fit the fact that he would have needed to spend ten years in Bloodcast training.
Please tag me once the edits have been done in green @R_O_B_E_rt
 
@HydraLana Re-arranged the years which things occurred and removed talents. Thank you!
 
@HydraLana Re-arranged the years which things occurred and removed talents. Thank you!
May you please add ages in red, I should have mentioned that as well in the previous review just to ensure that I could see everything with the characters. Tag me once you are done.
 
@R_O_B_E_rt Any progress to report? This is your one week bump.
 
@HydraLana Ah, sorry, didn't check up. You want the years to be added onto the bulletpoints?
 
@HydraLana Er, I'd put the age 10-20 and made that exclusively bloodcast training, so.
 
@HydraLana Er, I'd put the age 10-20 and made that exclusively bloodcast training, so.
Let me quote your Life Story:
After making his way to the school at the young age of twelve, he wasn't immediately set to training. As he was just a bit too young to do anything too demanding, he did basic work around the school grounds. He set to the task diligently and without question.
He didn't even start an education at the age of 12, and he's 23. You proceed to never mention a start date for his training, only that:
Upon reaching the proper age to begin, he started alongside others of his age, though often went above and beyond the normal training regiment and often asked others in his class to train with him, where he'd focus heavily on protecting himself for as long as he could hold out for.
But what is that age for this school? You never say what it is, and leave it as a vague and abstract number. You also never mention what age he graduates, and as all Schools need 10 years of education at least, the vagueness of aspect of his story suggests to me that he did not attend it for ten years and so he cannot know the School. If this is not your intent, please add ages to his Life Story in pink and tag me when you are done. If it is, then adjust your Proficiency Points accordingly, also in pink.
 
@HydraLana Ah, sorry! Only swapped around a few things and added the proficiency thing, I actually forgot the exact wording of the backstory. I made edits that should work.
 
Hey @HydraLana I made some changes due to the knight rework and felt that bloodcast didn't suit the character anymore. I noted any changes in red.
 
Hey @HydraLana I made some changes due to the knight rework and felt that bloodcast didn't suit the character anymore. I noted any changes in red.
My Review:
  • Please remove the Main Ambition and Weapon of Choice, they are no longer part of the Character Application Template.
  • Please add the specific bonus the School grants to Beorl Axe so I know that you do not misunderstand the way Schools function.
Tag me once these edits have been done in green @R_O_B_E_rt
 
So after a while of deciding I finally decided to go with what I'd been considering. All edits marked in red, if I made an error with the proficiency I'll be on that straight away. Sorry for having to ask for another re-review again since like 20 days ago but a lot happend right after that got accepted. Thank you for your time! @HydraLana
 
Re-approved as I can see no issues.
 
@HydraLana That time of year again, all i've changed is the stats to fit the new template, m'thanks
 
My Review:
  • Please remove the second statement of Body Build as it is no longer part of the Character Application format.
Tag me once the edits are done @R_O_B_E_rt
 
I am pulling this back into Review due to oversights on my end.
  • The Proficiency Points have an error in the very first distribution as you give him +20 in Hunting Knowledge but only state a +10 from any source. Please correct this mistake.
  • The Physical Stat calculation is incorrect. To quote the Wiki: "Total Combat Points + (Total Athletic Points x 2) = Physical Stat. Remember that Racial or Cultural Bonuses do NOT calculate into the Physical Stat. Physical Stat is purely determined by the Proficiency Points SPENT." You need to redo the calculation excluding his Racial Boosts.
Tag me once these edits have been done in green @R_O_B_E_rt