Decided

Spoiler: Song

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I'll remember the day your mother would decide to move to Ithaina. You'd be two, sitting on the floor of our current home, the one I and your mother had lived in for now 3 years. You'd be busy playing with a small wooden toy I had carved for you once, a small bird. I'll always remember how innocent you looked, unaware of what had just almost happened to you. You are laughing and smiling and I know that is all I and your mother would ever want for you. That is why we made a choice. A choice to take you from the north, away from your other family. That was the day I wondered, why such a choice? Why any choice? You had almost slipped away from me that day...I wanted to hold you close and never let go but for some reason, I left as if it was meant to happen. I've been asked if I regret having you, yes because my mother never really agreed that I should have a family, but I don't. I don't regret having you, I know there will be bumps and I know that there will be times like today, where you almost slip away. I decided that those days would be worth it- that those are exactly the days I helped make you for. I decided that I would do anything for you. So when your mother asked, "Do you want to move to Ithaina?" I could only nod, as I watched you giggle and smile.

I remember that when we got there the land and language both affected you. I remember how hard it was for me to learn Ithaina while for you it was like blinking for you. I also remembered how it changed the way you thought, you loved to read and then write. You'd never lose the ability to speak northern, after all, it is your birth language and the language you speak at home. To your friends, you'd always speak Ithaina and some days I couldn't even keep up. Your friends would think I was scared, and you'd just laugh. You'd have many suitors if you'd only look, but you would never do such. You'd be too busy hunting and learning. The day you went off to school I decided I would miss you, but I also decided I will forever be proud of who you'd grown to be.
No matter how many times the northwoman had heard her father tell that story, she still smiled. Even now as she stood on the balcony of her home and recounted the day in her head, she could only help but smile as the memory made sudden appearances. She tapped her fingers along the railing of her balcony as she leaned forward slightly. She hoped she was doing the right thing, was she everything her father had hoped her to be? Everything he had decided he wanted her to be? Or was that a decision he didn't make on that day? A decision he wanted her to decide? That she did not know. What she did know is that she wouldn't stop, she loved what she did and she would keep doing it no matter the bumps or the curves. Then perhaps one day she can prove to herself that she had also decided, upon her own faith.