Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Joseph Marini, Jul 12, 2013.
Granted, but your talent is to be able to undo knots
I wish I could be a real boy
Granted, but you briefly get turned into a donkey, get eaten by a whale, forced into slavery by a circus master and also have an annoying cricket always chirping in your ear.
I wish I was as powerful in real life as in lucid dreams.
Granted, but your dreams only last a few minutes. And the annoying part is you have to wait for your powers to 'load' and you can only use them for the last few seconds until you wake up (+ you only sleep once a day!)
I wish for Frens...
Granted, but they all lack the D. They're cucks who whine about everything and complain all the time.
I wish I had that big d*ck energy
Granted.... But nobody knows, and doesn't want to know. EVER.
I wish Freddie Mercury was still alive!
Granted but he lives on another galaxy.
I wish I could PvP.
Granted, but you can only pvp against noobs.
I wish I had an ancient tribe of pre-christian germans.
Granted, but it's all 110lbs, 5'5 and under manlets.
I wish I could mind control people, and the only side affect was them having constant nose bleeds and eventual brain aneurysms
Granted, though you have this power, someone had close encounters with you and your abilities had spread similar to germs. It had affected this person too. The other peoples were almost drained and you had a pool which was their blood and brain but that's off-topic. In the end this one other person that was affected mind controlled you... and yeah
I wish for Freddie Mercury to be on THIS planet, no other.
Six years, really? Why is this still kicking?!?
Granted, however Freddie was a few moments ago entertaining the royal courts of an alien empire, and by returning him to this planet you've angered the supreme empress. She proceeds to declare war on mankind. Then again, we also get to listen to Freddie Mercury again before the aliens destroy our planet so... pros and cons.
I meanwhile shall wish for... ah there we are. Twenty two pages in to find what my first wish was. I shall wish for... Oh mercy six years ago, I've grown a bit since then. Anyways I wish I was an eevee.
Granted, but everyone picks Pikachu instead of you.
I wish I had a skill tree like in Skyrim
Granted, though you are seen as dangerous to the entire world and have to be locked up. You are later experimented on for the source of your new found skills.
I wish for milk.
Granted but the milk will slowly eat away at all living cells in your body
I wish I was good at fighting games
Grabted but only battle Royale.
I wish I was President 2020
granted but literally no one liked your presidency and assumed other countries had a hand at getting you elected. you're impeached half-way thru ur presidency and ur vice president (who also didnt like you) takes ur place
i wish i was good at math
Granted, but you become the Count from Sesame Street.
I wish I could make America great again.
Granted, but you realize that the only way to do that is literally delete about 30% of the population. You mull it over, but determine it is for the best. After the select people, some 97 million, are marked, you then order their immediate deletion. You assure everyone that your all new World Deletion Ray 900TM is painless and harmless to any not targeted by it, but people still abhor you for wiping out 97 million people. You are then overthrown in a massive, sweeping coup before you are able to enact Phase II: Pony Currency.
I wish I had an exact copy of me
Granted but the clone has the urge to kill you every five seconds
I wish I had no life out of the computer
Granted, you physically enter the internet. But it's like. Bad. It's a very dated interpretation of the internet. You 'surf the web.' Like this.
I wish I had an butler who was an indentured servant to me.
Granted but he teams up with your clone and plans to kill you
I wish for cupcakes
Granted but they have little cupcake faces, and cheerfully beg you to kill them and eat them. If you try to run, they will follow you on their adorable little muffin legs.
I wish I could instantly learn any music instrument.
Granted, but in doing so, you are to be dazed by your new found hobby. They, the instruments, are your master and do not give you permission to leave their sanctuary into the outside world. You are stuck but with a new loved hobby :)
I wish for enough money to get me my desired amount of Pop! Vinyl's.
Granted but said desired amount send them out of business
I wish every time I looked away from massivecraft it wouldn’t explode
Granted, but every time you look away from Massivecraft one of your family members or someone you care about explodes. Do everyone a favor. Don't look away.
I wish I had a permanent +20 luck for the rest of my life.
Granted you have +20 bad luck
I wish for food
Granted but the food gives you a new undiscovered disease that makes you feel pain 24/7, but can't die from it and painkillers don't work and no cure.
I wish I had a meme generator that made good memes
Granted, the memes are good, but they're years ahead of their time and nobody understands or appreciated your tier 12 memes.
I wish for infinite battery
Granted but it gets the energy from the souls around it
I wish for a better genie
Granted, but you can only wish for something every Winter Solstice
I wish Rodrigo Peirgarten has an Italian mustache @Yigit (Anyone repl just pinging the dude who has the character)
Granted, but he will also have a large burly northern beard reaching all the way down to his chest.
I wish Harric van der Veer would punch Hengest in the throat
Granted, he punched a hobo named Hengest in the throat, not the grand Duke
I wish laughter truly was contagious
Granted. It is also now highly infectious, and chronic. An epidemic kills 100% of the population by asphyxiation in under 1 year.
I wish I was master mineman
Granted, you are now a Man who is a master at mining...
I wish Hitler Mustache's were popular