Review In-Progress Cithrel Lyre Darrath

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Jute_Len, Aug 2, 2021.

  1. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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    Basic Information
    • Full Name: Cithrel Lyre Darrath
    • Age: 18
    • Gender: Female
    • Race: Isldar - Voltalar
    • Sexuality: Bi

    Skill Information (Required)


    Total Points: 50/50

    • 5 Perception
    • 4 Heavy Ranged
    • 5 Strength Training
    • 3 Cooking (+3 Hobby)
    • 10 Construction (+7 Hobby)
    • 3 Linguistics
    • 30 Sorcery
    Body Shape
    • Phys Stat: 9
    • Body Shape: Ripped
    • Body Fat: Moderate
    Languages
    • Common (Freee)
    • Sulvaley Altalar (Parent)
    • Sihai (Parent)
    Special Traits/Spells/Mutations
    • Sorcery (Exist)
    • Element Control 4
    • Home Enchant 4
    • Dark Curse 2
    • Shadow Curse 1
    • Dueling Brand 1
    • Home Enchant 3
    • Magic Bolt 1
    • Element Control 6
    • Spirit Familiar 1 (Nordskag Kreb)
    • Magic Sight 2
    • Aph Cahal Brood
    • Blood Eyes 6
    • Cahalic Form 1
    • Voltalar Racials
    • Skin Purge 1
    • Age Control 1
    • Super Self 6
    • Frisit Gift 1
    • Frisit Gift 2
    • Moon Assault 3
    • Moon Assault 2
    • Soul Song 1
    • Exorcism 4
    • Aphar Cahal (Inactive)
    • Blood Eyes 5
    • Cahalic Form 2
    • Exist Gift 1 (Darkness 3)
    • Cahalic Familiar 1
    • Arcane Mastery 1
    • Casting Light 1
    • True Path 1
    • Light Mend 2
    • Mind Wall 1
    • Dravinda Gift 2
    • Shrewd Insight 1
    • Memory Sense 1

    Visual Information (Required)
    • Eye Color: Icy Blue and glowing
    • Hair Color: White
    • Hair Style: Loose
    • Skin Color: Pale, though blue-grey scales cover most of them
    • Clothing: Loose and showy clothing, prioritizing movement over modesty
    • Height: 6'6

    Personality

    Option Two: The Core List
    • Choose your Character Alignment
      • Lawful Evil and Neutral Evil 50/50
    • Choose your Character Personality Type
      • ISTJ-T Logistician
    • Choose your Character's Religion
      • Dragon Worship 5/10


    Life Story (Required)
    Born a brood to two Voltalar parents in Jorrhildr, in 292 AC, August 1st, she grew up with her mother who was working in the Sihai outer regions, and was her source of learning Sihai, her father the source of her Sulvaley, far away from the isldar homelands, and one of triplets, the first born. Cithrel was held to a higher expectation than her two siblings, encouraged to learn magic and often found herself staying awake for days at a time, being one to please her parents the best she could, and kept up with their quota. Most of her learning was through her parents, and soon the child grew tired and restless, their sleep schedule ruined by her thirst for the arcane and building and cooking in her very limited spare time.
    By the time Cithrel was a teen, she had learned various methods of defensive spells, offensive spells, and some home enhancement spells, though, no way to actually defend herself in a fight, and sought to learn unarmed combat, though that was held back by the last of her magic studies, she soon stopped her magic studies, and was promptly reprimanded by her parents, who soon gave up on trying to force it, and let her explore what she wanted, theatre and unarmed combat, enjoying it far more than anything else, though soon after she set foot out into the world by herself, another Cahal abducted her, off the streets, and fully transformed her, before taking her upon their boat to regalia a few years later, free from captivity, and lost in the new city, where she'd study a little more construction before stopping. Now, within the time she's been in regalia, she's been taken into the Darrath family, and finally pursued her constructing interest all the way through.
     
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    #1 Jute_Len, Aug 2, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2021 at 10:34 PM
  2. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len Hello, I've claimed this application for Review, and will get back to you in twenty four hours.
     
  3. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len After reviewing your application, a few things need to be corrected.
    • After reviewing the abilities you picked out as well as the combat proficiencies you hold, it is in my opinion that you are powerstacking by having 7 combat sorcery abilities in addition to the Cahal and Voltalar Abilities as well as 15 Fist Combat. Please lower the amount of combat abilities your character has.
    Once you have done this, tag me and I will review your application once more.
     
  4. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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    @Follower I have replaced a few spells, leaving me with 3 base combat spells
     
  5. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
  6. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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    @Follower I have updated to go with the new racials, replaced a spell, rearranged profs, and changed the life story a little bit
     
    #6 Jute_Len, Aug 9, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2021
  7. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len Please specify where your character was born, and how they acquired Sihai as a language. Once you have done so, tag me and I'll reapprove it.
     
  8. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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  9. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
  10. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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    @Follower I have updated the app to increase Construction and extended life story just a little bit
     
  11. Follower

    Follower Returned to Monkey Staff Member Lore1

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    @Jute_Len Everything seems to be in order, Approved.
     
  12. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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    @Follower I have moved her age up and edited her Cahalism to be gone since she couldn't have been infected before 18
     
  13. sonofthestars

    sonofthestars chaotic stupid Staff Member Lore1

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    Claimed for review. Expect a reply soon.
     
  14. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    The life story conveys itself as being all over the place with various studies that seem very out of touch with the concept of the character. Equally Isldar don't really exist within the Sihai outer regions as they occupy different spheres in the world. I would recommend her point of origin be Regalia as it's a lot easier to base the character's background there. Isldar equally aren't super pro-magic.

    Due to the sheer number of spells, the fact they're an Aphar brood, and that combat isn't really Aphar's concept. I'm going to place the stipulation that you entirely remove combat proficiency or consider drastically lowering their sorcery investment as well as spending some of those points elsewhere on proficiency more relating to the Aphar's niche.

    Tag me and highlight edits when you are done.
     
  15. Jute_Len

    Jute_Len Fazai / Cisva

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  16. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear Staff Member Lore1

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    Remove all combat, ranged included. They're limited to just sorcery to defend themselves.
     

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