Chrothic's News Station

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Chrothic, Oct 24, 2018.

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  1. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    This thread is for news articles made by the chrothic team. we hope you like them, and care to support us by pming news stories to our team.
    (Note, this isn't real news at all. And takes a lot of inspiration from the Onion. None of it is serious unless stated)
     
  2. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Canadian boy breaks his cultural tradition! Canada ashamed!
    Ten year old Ryder Pawson leads the fabled Paw Patrol, A multi-million dollar agency based in Canada. (Though, they do have multiple different sections. Each with their own gadgets and gear) hos team consists of six "pups" given their own gear and are trained accordingly.

    Through, everything was good until 02/13/2015. When his firefighter "pup" decided to go on a small camping trip as a vacation, Ryder would not let this happen.

    Ryder sent out the other "pups" to hunt down this "pup" and bring him back. They succeeded, and managed to keep it out of the news. Though that quiet ends now, as we have found long lost info about the day.

    We belive that after recovering the lost "pup" he brainwashed all his "pups" into believing that nothing happened. as such, they went on another "mission" after recovery.

    This was made for the poor "pup" that wasn't allowed vacation, I hope you see this Marshall...
     
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  3. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    Yeah! Fight the good fight! Down with the Pawson man!
     
  4. Creamiest

    Creamiest BI-Bye

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    [​IMG]

    (Jokes aside keep it up, I'm loving this Chrothic)​
     
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  5. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Tensions grow high between Nort and Sout Sometime!
    Ever since the peace meetings after the last war between the two states back in 2015, two bombs would be placed in random spots in each state every year. and as we grow closer to "bomb-time" tensions are heightened again this year.

    Thousands of people cautiously waiting for the next two bombs.
    and since the bombs placed in the Nort state, always appear to either be weaker or in less important areas, The Sout it finally taking a stand.

    The Sout President: Johan Johanski, called out the Nort's King: Franklyn Franklinofie on having spies, and planting the bomb every year.

    "I only say this because of the captured Nortian agents carrying bombs outside my... modest... home!"
    Said Johanski
    "I assure you otherwise! Just because you found two rouge agents that surrendered and gave you all my information about the secret plan to bomb your estate and take the presidency of the Sout once and for all, doesn't mean I did it! You must be an honest man to be a kind! And I am!"
    Replies Franklinofie.
    Now, we shouldn't have an opinion on this matter, but we think that Johanski is over reacting a bit.
    He needs to calm down and chill!
     
  6. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    hahahaha you thought you could unsubscribe from Chorthic's Weekly News
     
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  7. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Hundreds of reports coming in, all saying one thing:AHHH!!!
    AHH! Is the word of today (and the near future),all because of one change to the forums leaving hundreds of phone users lagging! And so, it was nearly impossible to write this aarticle a And I hope auto correct fixes most of the typos.
    AHH! It's ogficially spooktober! We hope all our readers have a godd time and cease phone use until it ends to further enjoy it.
     
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  8. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    (A serious note: computer blew up, meaning I lost my timeline. May not have it back until sometime in november.)
     
  9. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    That sux, working on setting up a thing
     
  10. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Nope, void that. computers fine.
     
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  11. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Minecreaft textures set to suck in the coming update!
    MINCREAFT! A game with no point whatsoever.
    Ever since Microsoft bought out MINECREAFT! the updates have been questionable, at first we didn't mind The water lag update, Until we played it. we had hoped that the recent snapshot would fix that, nope.
    As you likely know, 1.14 is the new update, it looked cool from the outside... y'know, adding another kind of illager, and a new ride-able thingamajig, and adding more cats, the one thing I Thought I would be unhappy with (that wasn't even added yet) was the villager re-texture. yet I was unhappy with all. EVERY SINGLE BLOCK WAS RE-TEXTURED! AND I HATED IT!

    It was like having a texture pack on, not a bad one but...
    It just wasn't mineCREAFT, You could tell what is what but...
    I liked the rest of the update.


    BY THE BY, Chrothic new-station is looking for creators!
    Writers, Pixel artists (For making a vanilla texture pack), and someone with a lot of money to pay both of those people!
     
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  12. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    I can't pixel art or pay people but I think I can write. hire me as soon as you find the person with a lot of money
     
  13. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    im not bad with pixel art, and I have some experience texture packing
     
  14. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Know anyone with a lotta big bucks to fund it?
     
  15. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Unless, of course, either of you will want to work for free.
    For ehh, community service.
     
  16. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    I'm afraid I can't do that, mac. Ain't got no news folks to blab to if ya' don't treat us right.
     
  17. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    Yeah I'll do it for whatevet
     
  18. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Ryder Pawson, leader of the paw patrol is arrested in barkingburg!
    Just lasterday, Ryder Pawson leader of the mind-controlling group The paw patrol, was arrested in barkingburg.
    It was a dark and quiet night in barkingburg, as it always is when the "paw patrol" comes. Though, there's was not a gas leak this time, and that didn't sit quite right with some of the citizens. More on them later.
    The "air patroller" landed on the bridge to the castle, and all the pups ran out to stand in front of the "air patroller" at the same time, the duke, the princess, and the royal guard dog ran out as well.

    Ryder then silently ordered his police dog, "chase" to open fire on the guard. He also told his medical dog, marshal, to put both the royal family members to sleep.
    One sleep dart hit the princess, right as the guard dog tackles her. Then the next dart hits, the duke collapsing where he stood. Then, Chase shot and killed the guard dog with his back mounted assault rifle.

    Back to the citizens we mentioned. the group walked up to where the vehicle had landed, and when they heard the gunshot ring out, they ran. And when they got to the police station, the first thing the police did was call for armed support.

    The paw patrol pups dragged both the royalty into their vehicle,and dumped the dog into the moat. That's when the armed police arrived. They opened fire, as does Chase. The firefight leaves four officers dead, two injured, and also the first paw patrol loss of a "pup". Ryder themp promptly orders the paw patrol to return to adventure bay. And while flying, the barkingburg royal air force engages them, but they weren't able to do enough damage before they reached adventure bay. The "air patroller" lands by the "lookout" and the "paw patrol" rushes inside, barricading themselves.
    And preparing defences.

    This all happened layt yesternight, so we are now at a loss of info.
     
  19. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    I write for an actual paper, and I've never seen a story as beautiful as that. THATS SOME DAMNED GOOD JOURNALISM.
     
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  20. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    Whew that's intense and one heccing cliffhanger. Come on, news people! Don't leave us hanging! We need to know more!
     
  21. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    New info on Ryder Pawson's arrest has been leaked!
    "early" this morning we released an article on Ryder Pawson getting arrested, we now have new info on that subject.

    When the last left off, Ryder barricaded himself in the "lookout" tower with the barkingburg royalty and his pups. We'll continue from there.

    The barkingburg R.A.F. is shooting across the sky, as adventure bay citizens scramble to cover.
    In an interview, one of the pilot's gave his story on the incident.
    "Yeah mate, it felt wrong. But I knew, if I di'n't do not'in' my future queen would die."
    Back to the story.
    Ryder was locked in the "lookout" with his "pups", And the R.A.F. couldn't do anything to get them out.
    "The pulled me inside and woke me up, Ryder ordered his pups away, and that! Is when he graped me, there may have been a bit of appelier though... but it matters not! He graped me, and the cameras prove it! It had to be at least last degree! Possible final! After that, they just put me back to sleep, and graped me further." Said the duke in his interview.
    "Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't grape me instead. I would have gone for ohrangge at the very least..." said the princess.
    We have no more words on that.

    Anways, the paw patrol felt safe in their tower. Feeling free to appelier, grape, and ohrangge.
    But at this time, five barkingburg royal army beach landers landed. The troops moving in on the tower.
    Anxious minutes pass, when finally the first shots are fired, and the second paw patrol pup falls... "skye" the air pup, had mounted one of "chase's" machine guns on her chopper and attacked one of the squads. She slaughtered them, and that's when the R.A.F. fighter circles back around.

    The four remaining squads continue their path to the lookout. and when they reach it, they see Ryder, holding a gun to the princesses head.
    "That, is when I said "youse gonna leave, or Imma shot her!""
    They didn't leave, and one "poor" little ten year old died.
    Of starvation, miraculously dying right at the gun in Ryder's hand jams, and he is shot in the leg by a sniper. Who also shot the princess, but ehh, fifty fifty.

    Then the taser armed soldier rush into the tower and arrest the pups, soon finding out about the mind control on the main lookout computer.

    With Ryder's arrest, and the "pup's" being released from his control, this branch of the "paw patrol" is officially closed.
     
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  22. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    F
     
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  23. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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  24. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Yeah. applier, grape, and ohrangge.
     
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  25. Q1ntum_shot

    Q1ntum_shot Everything is (not) fine!

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    So this is the place people put everything in a spoiler
     
  26. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    They do that in the Nort
     
  27. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    No, these are news articles.

    The spoiler is for suspense, and clickbaity titles.
     
  28. Q1ntum_shot

    Q1ntum_shot Everything is (not) fine!

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    Ah I see

    Very clever
     
  29. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    The Sout declares war on the Nort!
    Just today, the bombs were detonated. and the one placed in the Nort destroyed a tree, in an abandoned park.
    And the Sout's bomb was placed in the President's home, successfully this time.
    Killing Johanski's fifteen dogs, twenty one cats, five children, and his seventh wife. it was placed in the roof pool, and the explosion of water caused the ceilings on four floors, to fall.
    Johanski also got a splinter.

    WE TAKE BACK ACCUSING JOHANSKI OF OVERREACTING!
    THIS IS TERRIBLE!
    A SPLINTER?
    AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    King Franklinofie said in a state meeting:
    "Hmm... Uhh... No! I did not order people to plant the bombs! why would I bomb a park with my pet cockroach in it? He was killed in that explosion!"
    "Pet, Cockroach. You have a pet cockroach?"
    "
    had a pet cockroach. And you will address me as sir"
    "A pet, cockroach! Only an evil mastermind would have a pet cockroach!"
    just then another bomb when off, during the meeting.
    Its probably nothing, but he may have nodded right before the bomb, and it may have exploded near Nortern security was. but we have no proof of any of this happening.

    just after that, Johanski publicly declared war on Fanklinofie.

    And the Nort too.

    I think...
     
  30. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Thank
     
  31. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    yes
     
  32. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    oh no everything's coming apart
     
  33. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Phones freezing up once again!
    Due to the new winter version of the massivecraft forums, mobile users are once again unable to use it!

    We understand the need to update, and to decorate.
    BUT ALL WE CARE ABOUT IS USABILITY!

    BUT NO!

    But this article, unlike the Halloween one, was done on a PC.
    so that's okay.
     
  34. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    First battle fought between the Nort and Sout!
    After the declaration back in December, the war had been a bit of a cold war, UNTIL NOW!!!

    Last Tuesday the Nort began its invasion of the Sout!
    Details are still a bit foggy, but a few pictures were taken in a town that was hit.
    though they would be way too graphic to show here, we happen to have an artists depiction.
    before after.png
    Though this depiction does not nearly show the horrors. it still gets the point across.

    The horrors being swarms of cockroaches, flooding the village, feasting on every piece of flesh they see.
    After that, fire raining from the sky, burning whatever people remaining outside. and causing all the cockroaches to tunnel underground, re-swarming anyone that leaves their home. Swarming anyone that comes to help too.

    The fire being napalm, and the roaches being trained and bred to behave like this.


    The town is going to be bombarded by artillery by tomorrow by the Soutern army.
    any survivors of the cockroaches are advised to lay down on their beds, cover themselves with a white or light gray sheet during the bombardment, and wait for rescue.
     
  35. Legoclub22

    Legoclub22 Cyclically Inactive

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    Just put yourself in a body bag! There's nothing that can save you!
     
  36. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    Chrothic News station is back!
    The CROTNWSTTON (or Chrothic News Station) is back! and though we kinda left any readers there may have been hanging, we're back! and pretending like nothing happened!

    We're going to continue the story with the nort and sout where we left off, plus a whole new story from the other side of the world!
    I cant wait until I'm able to write them.

    also I'll be making some changes, and possibly getting some new writers!
     
  37. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    An update by the chrothic newsstation
    Greetings readers! I hope you had a lovely April. and I thought I would inform you all that the chrothic newsstation is now using internet explorer, and the be honest i-
    OH MY GOD!
    DID YOU HEAR ABOUT NOTRE DAME? Whoah, that must have happened like yesterday!
    Good thing the paris chapter quit before the first article went live. Wow! If they hadn't it would have been them in that fire! Whoah!
    Anyways, thanks for reading and have a nice April 29th.
     
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  38. quinguin

    quinguin a muppet of a man

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    Dearest Journalists of "Chrothic News Stations"

    As of recent, I have been absent from this hell hole of a minecraft server to about... damn, it's been five months! But, nonetheless, I had planned a recent trip to Aloria, and have none the knowledge about it. What have I missed in such an absence? Were there any changes to the roleplay system that are notable?

    Dearest friend, you are a beacon of hope to my lack of knowledge. And, I thank you in advance for such a glorious favor you bring upon me.

    Sincerely,
    A sad dude in his basement
    @Chrothic
     
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  39. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    You got it fam
     
  40. Chrothic

    Chrothic BEN JONES

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    WAR RAGES ON IN SOMETIME!
    We've been meaning to post this article for a while, but the war between the Nort and Sout has been increasing, and I felt like I couldn't put it off any further.

    As the trenches on the border are dug, and cockroaches spring out of the ground, tearing off the faces of the Soutern soldiers, and tearing up the eyes of their children.

    Soutern president Johanski has ordered a meeting of the U.N.S.N. (United Nortern, Soutern, nations.) Due to the increasing violence on the front lines, and the use of cockroaches in war.
    "The war crimes being committed against my good soldiers is absolutely horrendous!"
    The king of the Nort, Franklinofie, said this on the matter: "Cockroaches hmm? how would I send cockroaches into battle? hmm?"
    Pres:"Well, uhh."
    King:"You, yourself don't even know how!"
    Pres:" Wait! I do have proof!
    Though this depiction does not nearly show the horrors. it still gets the point across.

    before after.png

    The horrors being swarms of cockroaches, flooding the village, feasting on every piece of flesh they see.
    After that, fire raining from the sky, burning whatever people remaining outside. and causing all the cockroaches to tunnel underground, re-swarming anyone that leaves their home. Swarming anyone that comes to help too.
    I'd say that's enough proof."
    King:"What? That isn't proof! that's just some fake news article with some MS paint drawings in it!" Pres:"No, its not, its an article written by the most trust-able news station ever, CHROTHIC NEWS."
    King:"Oh, Why didn't you say so?"
    Pres: "I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT!"

    The meeting was cut short as ten nortern special operatives smashed through the ceiling, shot everyone, (exept Johanski and Franklinofie.) then grabbed Franklinofie and flew back up through the ceiling.
    Nothing was done about the war crimes.
     

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