Preserved Sheet Carnell Ailemer Application

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BluffDGamer

The Assassin
Joined
Feb 4, 2016
Messages
2
Reaction score
24
Points
0
Age
23
Faction
Cadun Realms
Kingdom
Cadun
Colour code:
Required = Blue
Optional = Red
Subheadings = Green
Basic Information

  • Full Name: Carnell Ailemer
  • Age: 27
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Alior
  • Main Ambition: Fame
  • Special Permission: Third sergeant of the viridian order.
Visual Information
  • Eye Colour: Emerald green
  • Hair Colour: Maroon
  • Hair Style: Short sides and back with a longer, messier style on top.
  • Skin Colour: Slightly tanned.
  • Clothing: He wears a blue and gold cloak with a dark grey jacket and a white shirt and trousers. He also wears black shoes.
  • Height: 5'11 in feet
  • Weight: 185 in pounds
  • Body Build: Slightly muscular.
  • Weapon of Choice: Carnell prefers to use a one-handed sword and shield but can use a two-handed sword if needed.
Visual Information Expansion
Carnell's has equal, fairly oval eyes that are about 14mm away from his nose. He has a bigger bottom lip than his top and they have a pale red colour to them. His mouth is about 50mm wide across when he has a casual face. His ears are big and has been called an elf at some occasions and it has developed into somewhat of a insecurity of his, but he deals with it. His forehead is about around 60-70mm in length and is quite flat on his head. His defualt expresion is usally quite casual and he dosen't smile unless he is suposed to for exsample if he found something quite funny or made him happy, in a summary his face is fairly serious looking. He has no freckles or scars but has a small birthmark on the back his lower neck that is covered by his clothing. His hair is a dark maroon colour and he usally has his hair short on the sides on back with the front of his hair longer with a messy sort of style.

He is 5'11 in feet with his torso being the majority of his height. He weighs around 185 pounds with around 70% of that being muscle and the rest being fat or the rest of his body. His natural skin colour is fairly pale but as of now he has gained a bit of a tan with a very light brown look to it. He has very little body hair with his chest and back having little hair and his facial hair is activly cut off as it grows. As of arm and leg hair he has still little but more than he has chest or back hair, and finally his hands and feet are fairly simular to his chest and back in terms of frequency of hair.

He has a dark blue cloak ,made of cloth, which has a pale gold border, the cloak covers his left shoulder and the back of left arm. It then goes across his back coming up to form a hood around his head and then continues to cover his right shoulder going down about half way of his right arm. Underneath his cloak is a dark grey cotton jacket with goes down to cover about half of the back of his legs (Simular to a penguin suit/blazer) for his final layer of his torso he has a white shirt covering the whole of his torso (Including his arms). On his legs he has white trousers made from cotton. Fianlly he has black leather boots for his footwear choice. For protection Carnell usally carries a small iron dagger in a hidden pocket on the inside of his jacket but he rarely uses it and sometimes dosen't put it in there.

His voice is quite deep but varys depending on his mood at the time, if he is tired or grumpy he tends to speak deeper and sound a bit more serious but if he is having a laugh or is in a happy mood his voice may raise in tone creating a more welcoming tone to his voice. He talks fairly quickly and can sometimes stumble on his words and may have to reapeat what he said. If Carnell is feeling nervous he will occasionally start to make a humming noise as a quirk of his but it is rare that he is in a nerving situation. Carnell can only speak regalian
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Evram.jpg

^This is the closest I could find on google (I take no credit for this art)
Personality and Abilities
Personality Traits

  • Friendly - Although Carnell is a noble character, he doesn't tend to get upset at other people if they are causing trouble without hearing them out first, he also has nothing against commoners. This helps Carnell gain friends quite quickly as he is such a friendly guy to be around. He gives off somewhat of a positive aura to other people and can usally put people in a good mood.
  • Approachable - Carnell likes to meet new people and prefers to have people introduce themselves before he does. Carnell is a very relaxed guy, he loves to drink and have a laugh which if other people see him doing so they will tend to want to approach him and speak to him. This helps Carnell make friends faster and gives him a good first impression on people.
  • Courageous - Carnell is apart of the Viridian so naturally he is very brave in the actions he does and tends to stare pure evil right in the face without breaking a sweat. This can make others see him as foolish or brave depending on the person or task he is facing. Because of his brave like behaviour people tend to follow him making him some what of a leader but this depends on how foolish the task seems.
  • Easily aggravated - Although Carnell is "Approachable" and "Friendly". Carnell is fairly easily annoyed, if he is offended he tends to get very defensive and if someone is still continuing to do something he dislikes he will get aggravate. This can make him very aggresive at times and will sometimes hurt the induvidiual doing or saying anything offencive.
  • Impatient - Carnell doesn't really have a reason for this but he hates to wait for things and can become quite angry if he has to wait for things for too long. For example if he has to sit and wait for food for too long he will end up just leaving unless he is having a good chat at the time. This can make him come across as rude or disrespectful and can make hosts dislike him.
  • Big-headed/Vain - Carnell is quite a goodlooking man but this can get to him abit and tends to think himself above unattractive Aliors or other races. This can make others dislike Carnell if he shows that he is better looking or more attractive. He also avoids talking to Yanar as he finds them unattractive and he also has a hatred of flowers.
Strengths
  • Sword Fighting - Carnell spent around 8 years training in the Viridian Order and spent most of that time learning how to fight with a sword.
  • Martial Arts - Carnell was also tought marshal arts in the Viridian order, so he is rather good with or without a sword.
  • Good Stamina - Not only does good stamina run in the family, Carnell spent a lot of his life exploring the different nations around the world. Because of this he has gained rather good stamina from being so active. The biggest factor to this would be the fact that he spent lots of time getting shape while training within the viridian order.
Weaknesses
  • Light drinker - Carnell has never been a heavy drinker and never will be. He will usally get drunk after a few glasses of wine, this could be linked to his strangly weak stomach making him more suseptible to the alcohol or at least has a hard time getting it out of his bloodstream.
  • Poor Pain Resilience - When Carnell is hurt it really hurts, this can be a huge set back for him and can take him out of a fight very quickly if he is slashed or bruised he might end up giving in to the pain. Lucky for him he usally uses a shield so he can hide behind that making him less suceptible to being hit.
  • Bad reflexes - As good a fighter as Carnell may be, his ability to react to attacks is quite poor. Lets just say if a arrow was shot at him he would most likely just have to hope his armour takes the hit or use a shield to block it instead of dodging it.
Personailty and Abilities Expansion
Carnell has little quirks but he has one when he will scratch his head when he is thinking about something or is confused about something. Also when he is nervous he will hum occasionally.

Carnell is a very good unarmed and sword fighter because of his training in the Viridian order and tends to win most of his fights but does not usally get into fights in public especially in regalia. He is also a decent cook and he can prepare basic meals such as some meats and vegtables but he does not tend to cook all that much since he has servants to do so for him or he buys his food but he learnt to do this while exploring as he had to make his own meals while he was doing so. A very stong skill that Carnell posseses is his rather good stamina, he can do alot of physical acitivity without getting tired. This is due to him being trained for a long time, good stamina running in the family and also him exploring for around 5 years.

Carnell hasen't really had the time to figure out if he has any special talents
Likes

  • Wine - Carnell has always loved the taste of wine ever since he was able to drink it, it's his go to alcohol and its what he normally drinks.
  • Meat - Carnell loves to eat meat, he dosen't have a specific favourite meat but he prefers it over any other type of food.
  • Excersize - Carnell likes to stay in shape and keep his built-up stamnia, to do this he spends about 2-3 hours a day excersizing a day.
Dislikes
  • Smoke - Carnell is completely hates the smell of any smoke whever it be from a cigar or a fire he prefers to stay away from it.
  • Heretics - As part of the viridian order, Carnell is sworn to never pity a heretic but Carnell seems to have developed a huge hatred towards them and if he sees one he tends not to let them explain and calls a guard as soon as possible.
  • Flowers - Carnell is allergic to some types of plants and tends to avoid all to make sure he dosen't get the affect from them. If he is offered flowers as a gift he will usally get servants to take the flowers and depose of them or give them back to the person who gifted them with a reason why.
  • Bell Ailemer (@xSketchedCrystal) - Bell Ailemer is one of Carnell's many cousins, because she tends to act like a child Carnell has somewhat of a disliking to her but they used to be fairly close friends before he left to explore. Overall Carnell isen't too fond of Bell but still likes to talk to her now and again.
  • Godwin Ailemer (TheOldGenecide) - Godwin is Carnells twin brother so they are quite close but there persanality are fairly different. Carnell seems to have a good relationship with Godwin but they have pety arguments sometimes and he also dosen't think they look alike considering there twins.
  • Jeffery Ailemer (OTGenecide) - Carnell respects Jeffery since he is the heirarchy of the ailemer family, altough Carnell believes that Jeffery dosen't deserve to be in charge of the ailemers as he is too young but Carnell tends to keep his mouth shut about the topic.
  • Jasmine Ailemer (@Anime_cookie) - Jasmine is another one of Carnell's cousins, Carnell dosen't really see her often and has only seen her once recently so he dosen't really have too much of an opinion on her.
Life Story

Birth

Carnell was given life by his mother Cathreen Ailemer and his father Michael Ailemer. They lived in a family estate in Vultaro when they gave birth to the two young boys Carnell and Godwin. They spent their lives pretty much normally with them both at home caring for their children.

Five Years of Age

At five years old Michael started to teach Carnell some basic noble etiquette such as how to properly eat with cutlery so that he could eat more like a noble. His mother was still just sitting inside enjoying her life of relaxation.

Ten Years of Age

At ten years old Carnell decided he was going to join the Viridian order but to do so he would need to be in somewhat good shape and he would also need to be 14 years of age to begin his training, so his father Michael taught him how to do some exercise as well as how to hold a sword. His father made a dummy made of hay, an old potato sack and some wood. Carnell would practise hitting the dummy and gradually got better at using a sword.

Fourteen Years of Age

At Fourteen years old Carnell finally applied for the Viridian order to start his training and because of his current shape he was accepted into it. He began training more or less every day and was told the about the Code of Charlemois and was also told that if he didn't obey the Code of Charlemois that he would be punished. Later on during the year he was thought some household activities and also taught some martial arts, sculpting him into a rather good unarmed fighter.

Fifthteen Years of Age

After Carnell first year of being in the Viridian order, Carnell had finished his household and marshal art training and began his combat training. He was taught three different disciplines by the elder. He was taught: The Sword, The Halberg and The Horse. He did this for two years. He was natural at The Sword as he already had experience with a sword when he father taught him.

Seventeen Years of Age

After he finished his discipline training he was given the choice to pick one of the three to carry on training for the last 5 years of training. Carnell decided he would pick The Sword since that was the main strong point with him not being interested in The Halberg or The Horse.


Twenty Two Years of Age


Finally Carnell had finished his training in the viridian order at the age of twenty two and at decided he would stay to participate in a tournament. Unfortunately he had lost the tournament and was still a 'Men-At-Arms'. This made Carnell somewhat depressed for a short while thinking that he had his first loss and he went back home to see his parents which he hadn't seen in over 8 years. He was very happy to see them again. His father gave him some support and told him that "You should carry on trying to win a tournament because those 8 years of training were not for nothing!". This gave Carnell the encouragement he needed to carry on.


Twenty Three Years of Age


Another tournament took place and Carnell was more than prepared to win. He had been training ever since gained the inspiration from his father to carry on and he was certain to win this time around. After a long tournament Carnell had been ranked up to third Sargent, this was a huge achievement for him and he felt like he was unstoppable. For the rest of the year he decided that he wanted to explore Aloria so he set off to see the different cultures and races that inhabited the different nations. Of course he came back every year to compete in the tournaments but every year he kept his title of third sergeant and he was happy about it, he didn't feel ready to go a rank further. Unfortunately he received a letter telling him that his father had gotten ill and had died, but this didn't stop Carnell from exploring and he carried on with the thought of his father in the back of his head.

Twenty Seven Years of Age

Finally he had received a letter from Jeffery that read "Carnell. You have spent a long time in training and exploring and you haven't seen us in a very long time, I think it's about time you came to Regalia. We have an estate here for you to stay. We have /much/ to discuss". He set course for regalia and had recently arrived...

Present Time

Carnell had arrived in Regalia on the 1st of August. He has met some people and has already seen what kind of city Regalia is. After meeting other nobles such as himself he felt like he was home again. He spoke with Godwin his twin brother who gave him news about him becoming a father and also met up with his cousins: Christopher, Jasmine, Jeffery and Bell Ailemer. He had finally found out about the these undead horrors emerging all around Aloria and about this strange bubble that appeared around Regalia stopping the undead from entering, but Carnell payed little attention to the news and carried on with his life meeting and greeting new people while he trained for the next up and coming viridian tournament.
 
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Hey there @BluffDGamer! I admire your wonderful colour coding and your app is very nicely written so I'll get straight into pointing out some edits so we can look to getting this approved for you.

  • You need a minimum of six personality traits at least. I'd like you to add two more negative personality traits.

  • With the traits you already have I'd like you to go a bit more in depth and further the descriptions you have to at least three sentences each. Consider how each trait affects the way he behaves and how it affects the people around him.

  • Untalented, from the way you've described it, isn't a valid weakness. Having a lack of knowledge surrounding certain skills is normal for anyone unless they've spent the time in their lives to focus on said skills. I'd suggest removing that weakness altogether and replacing it with a combat weakness to balance out his many combat strengths.

  • I feel like the weaknesses weak stomach and light drinker are similar. Whilst they are both valid to be separate I'd suggest adding another weakness for balance.

  • You've misspelled a lot of words throughout your life story, I'd recommend just running it through a spell checker once more.

Other than those things that's it! The rest is up to scratch. Please highlight all changes you make in green and tag me once you completed the above edits.
 
@JarlJade I think everything is all edited tell me if there are anymore issues with the app.
 
@JarlJade I think everything is all edited tell me if there are anymore issues with the app.

I still feel like the two recent weaknesses that you've implement revolve more around skills he doesn't have instead of things he's actually bad at or things that are actually debilitating. I'd recommend you include weaknesses that actually hinder his day to day experiences. Other than that all of the other edits are up to scratch!
 
@JarlJade I hope fussy is avaliable because i'm running out of ideas but i'm quite happy about the bad reflexes weakness
 
@JarlJade I hope fussy is avaliable because i'm running out of ideas but i'm quite happy about the bad reflexes weakness

I think the bad reflexes one is perfect, but fussy still seems more like a dislike then a weakness. If you cannot think of a physical weakness perhaps a mental one? Maybe he has a phobia of something? I'd really challenge you to find something that you know will have some sort of debilitating affect on your character.
 
@JarlJade I have replaced the fussy weakness for something that is more of a hindrance in battle