Basic Information Full Name: Borug Steelhide Age: 28 Gender: Male Race: Orc Main Ambition: Run his own famous restaurant, maybe knock a few heads together along the way. Special Permission: NA Spoiler: Art Basic Information (Expansion) Spoiler Was born in the Dark-Iron tribelands to Eridesh Shieldbasher (Mother) and Bogor Smallhammer, January 4th, 278AC. Skill Information Combat Proficiency +10 Unarmed Fighting (Graklak) +10 Unarmed Boxing (Graklak) +10 Medicine (Graklak) +10 Warhammer (Racial) +10 Improvised Weapons (Racial) +10 Black Powder (Racial) +5 Anglian Longbow (Informal) +5 Mace (Informal) +5 Tracking (Informal) +3 Large Shields (Informal) Cultural Proficiency +23 Cuisine Cooking (Informal) +10 Smithing (Racial) +5 Pastry Cooking (Informal) Languages Vashkulaar 10/10 Common 7/10 Visual Information Eye Color: Dull gold Hair Color: Jet black Hair Style: Tied up at the back of his head and allowed to hang loose to the small of his back. Skin Color: Green Clothing: Leather pants, black boots. Sometimes, a white and caramel coat. A necklace bearing a long and yellowed tooth from the maw of a Jungle Cat. Height: 6'11 Body size: Muscular Weight: 345lbs Weapon of Choice: Mace Visual Information (Expansion) Spoiler Outside of having average Orc characteristics (Heavy overbite, square jaw, large forehead, slightly yellowed tusks, dark gray and golden eyes, etc etc), Borug is only truly set apart from the average by his long hair and the long scar stretching from the lower side of his left ear, down to his jaw. Standing at just above the Orc average, he hardly has anything to brag about when it comes to height, but his strength is not exactly the same story. Weighing in at 345 pounds, it is clear that he takes pride in the raw strength that Orcs have been gifted with. He is at a middle-level in strength, being strong enough to outpower the strongest of Ailor by strides, but athletic enough to hold some semblance of agility. His fluency is common is pretty good, and can for all intents and purposes, pass as a native. His voice is deep and his pace is slow, but that can be said for many Orcs. Of course, he retains the hand motions used to speak Vashkularr, making it possible for Orcs who don't speak common to at least understand the bare bones of any conversation he participates in. He is fluent in both Common and Vashkularr, and can actually read and write in common, although poorly. Personality and Abilities Personality Traits Strangers often see Borug as energetic, brazen, and unusually talkative for an Orc. He isn't one to be known for particularly rash decisions, seemingly gifted with a cool head and solid sense of humor, compared to the standard Orcish stereotype. He might seem like the kind of person to bring hot-pink medical-wraps to a fight, or lewd socks as a birthday present. Borug is quite pleased with himself and his current status in Regalia. Though he may miss the freedom of the Tribelands, the luxuries Regalia provides more than makes up for anything he's missing in Daendroc. He takes great pride in his race, culture, and cooking, being quick to offend if it is said that he is anything less than a proud Orc and a fine cook. His free time is spent in taverns, kitchens, or fighting rings, where he humors friend and stranger alike. Friends to the Orc are quick to label him as generous and capable, but totally useless in an emotional crisis. He is quick to come bearing gifts and slow to abandon a friend in need, though he is more of a fixer than an empathizer. It can also be said that Borug is impatient, wanting things to be done quickly rather than carefully. He's the friend you want before or after a crisis, not at any point between. Borug is highly neutral, not quite moral or immoral by anyone's standards and avoiding most confrontation like the plague. He is very self-interested, taking care to protect himself as a first priority before doing anything he considers risky. Being as dedicated to self-preservation as he is, Borug is better suited to life as an observer rather than a major player. Though he was raised a traditional Orc, Borug melds rather well with city life. He understands that laws are to be followed where the Law holds sway, Nobles are to be respected for their work, and the Emperor is probably divine. Religiously, Borug follows the Call of Vakgar rather strongly, though it isn't a topic he is quick to bring up in a religious capital such as Regalia. Spoiler: Likes and Dislikes Likes Other than the love of ale and women, Borug has an interesting preference for cooked foods over raw meat. Pushing him to become the experienced cook that he is today. Beast Races have always been fascinating to Borug. They very much appeal to the adventurous nature within him, as creatures such as Url and Allar are rarely ever heard of in the tribelands. Dislikes Magic! Oh how Borug hates magic with a passion. Even the thought of it sets him off, and any form is usually enough to send him running. Relationships Life Story Born on January 4th, 278AC to his mother Eridesh Sheildbasher and his father Bogor Smallhammer, Borug lived a fairly average childhood for an Orc. Living in the "village" for most of his life, he was always fascinated with the outside world, and the community was more than willing to help him in his little endeavors to the wilderness of the Blackiron tribelands. In 284AC, he was permitted to go and "help" man the catapults, which at the time mainly consisted of bringing smaller stones, sticks, and plant life that looked like it could hold weight to the older men and women who did the actual construction, all while incessantly babbling about Vakgar-knows-what. (6) Thoroughly immersed into Orcish culture and fascinated by religion, Borug claimed that he wanted to be a shaman when he grew up and was promptly pushed under the wing of the main (and only) Shaman (who had a notable affinity with music) alongside many other children who had hoped for the same thing. By 288, he had set his sights on other vocations, and although he had learned a great deal, all that remained with him was a strong affinity towards Vakgar, and a strangely stronger one towards Yazgar. (10) Childhood started to leave him during 291AC when his body changed for the bigger. He began to learn the ways of the Graklak fighters at this age, showing an inclination to defensive fighting right from the beginning. While he wasn't training his fists, his parents pushed him to take the 'small-hammer' and shield, which suited him surprisingly well. (13) Having been armed (both physically and mentally) for the rigors of combat, Borug takes to the battlefield during 293AC, finding himself to be very well equipped to fight shielded and armored units amongst the enemy. Now acquiring some battlefield experience, he starts to grow highly confident and becomes more and more reckless. After all, even as a mere 15-year-old, he is a monster to the unfortunate elven fighters he so commonly fights. Because of his weapon of choice, he went by the name Borug Sheildcracker, due to his tendency to crack shields with one hit of his hammer. (15) Essentially thinking himself invincible, Borug temporarily left the battlefield in 295 to go on one of his long missed adventures, intending on hunting down a great beast to either kill or tame, and drag it back to show the glory and honor of his deed. Within half a month, he came face to face with a Jungle Cat, and in his arrogance, he assumed that he was more than a match for the black beast. Needless to say, he was mistaken, and the battle was one in which he nearly lost his life. Only getting a lethal hit with his hammer after taking one of the Cats long teeth to the side of his head, nearly losing his jaw (and his life). This event was a wake-up call of sorts and a rather humiliating lesson. Taking on of the teeth of the Cat, he fastened a necklace to remind himself of this lesson and placed it around his neck in hopes that he never forget it. He spent the rest of his time fighting for regalia when they allied the Orcs in 296 and took note in how effective long range weaponry can be. Taking the time to train with one of the ailor that he commonly met with after battles to train his skills as an archer. While he is certainly able to use it (to an extent), his bow is more of a backup weapon or something to use at the start of a large battle to wear down the enemy before charging in with his main weapon. After the war was ended, he attained a Gorr citizenship by working in regalia's mines for several years. Finally becoming a Gorr rank citizen in 303, and spending most of his time wandering the empires vast reaches. (25) Soon enough, the bone Horrors hit, and Borug retreated into the safety of the capital, only to find that things wouldn't stay much better for long. Immediately after the rise of Freya Lo, Borug joined the Violet Resistance and was stationed in Rothburg, where he met his fellow violet Nerroth Reinhardt Angiris. Things were fairly peaceful until the Rothburg assault, where he not only took a mace to the dome, but a cannon (not the ball) as well. To acknowledge his survival against such dangers, he has taken the title "Steelhide" for himself.
~Peer Review Time!~Hello there @KiddingAround I'm going to be giving your app a quick peer review! Basic Information: Most of this is good, but for Borug's main ambition, I recommend expanding it a bit, make it more ambitious. As I feel, most people want to make the best usage of their time already. Visual Information & Weaponry: Once again, most of this is alright, but I do see one notable thing that's a bit odd. I suggest changing the weight on that hammer, 72lbs is extremely heavy, even for an Orc. Swinging 72lbs in one hand would not only be slow and clumsy, but tire you out in seconds and be quite impractical. Normal, or slightly higher weights for warhammers would make the most sense. Personality Traits: Outgoing is described more as optimism, I'd suggest a simple name change to avoid confusion with adventurous, but that's all I can say about that trait. Blissfully unaware and Dimwitted are very similar, I'd suggest replacing one of them with another negative trait. You can expand upon the one you keep to merge them both in a way, if you feel it necessary, but that's up to you. Strengths & Weaknesses: I've no problems with your strengths, they all seem good to me at first glance. The "Hunger" weakness is unnecessary and can be considered copout-ish, it's already known Orcs need a constant supply of food, I'd recommend removing this outright. Wanderlust while good, is a little bit weak in terms of the weakness department. My suggestion is to expand upon it and make it into Recklessness towards most things, and not just adventuring. Short Range can be considered a copout, as everyone has a short range when unarmed or using a smaller weapon compared to someone with a longer weapon. My recommendation is to find another weakness to replace this. Life story: Quite well written, there isn't much to nitpick about here, but there is one minor thing I noticed. Nowhere in here does it mention him learning how to use a bow, or why an Orc would even pick up a bow. I'd suggest adding that in and elaborating. That concludes my peer review, the grammar and spelling is quite good and I see nothing to nitpick about in those regards. These are only suggestions and recommendations, of course, and you're not forced to heed them if you don't want to. However, these are also to help improve your app to make it even better. @tag me when you're done, or have any questions!
I made it in preparation for the lack of food in Regalia, I just thought it would be worth mentioning on my character sheet. I should have the rest of the edits done after I fix the explosion I may or may not have created while making pancakes. ( @Puagrace @Koajack )
Understandable, but it's also to be expected considering an Orc's diet and whatnot. No worries and not completely necessary, you'll be alright. Take your time with the app too, no rush!
Looking through again, you can still improve on a few things. @KiddingAround You have 6 weaknesses, this is way too many. As stated earlier, I recommend getting rid of hunger, as it's unnecessary and is apart of his race. Regardless of the circumstances, that will always be there and need not be mentioned under weaknesses. Removing Hunger will leave you with five, so I'd still recommend removing one more to balance things out. Overconfidence and Careless are quite similar, and wanderlust isn't too much of a weakness compared to the others. Pick and choose. Once again, you don't have to follow the recommendations, but they're there to help you improve your app. Aside from the above mentioned, the app is shaping up really nicely. That is the conclusion of my peer review, however, if you make the changes, comment so that it's known. Good luck getting approved!
@deadfoe51 I removed hunger, as it is only a true weakness during the upcoming (unless the forces outside of regalia have enough food to restock the warehouses) famine, and I would have removed it after the event was over. But I am going to leave the rest to compensate for the Armored Combat Strength, as it is a really strong combat perk. Thank you for your review!
@Doc_Cantank Just incase you had something ready, I want to just let you know that I added another strength titled -Hand to hand-.
Alright, let's review: Lower the Hammer's weight down to like, 12 at maximum. 43 lbs is how much a jackhammer weighs, and your orc would not just carry around 43 lbs as a weapon. Please add two sentences to each of the character traits. Change the 'Magic' weakness to 'Fear of Magic' please. Your 'Careless' weakness is teetering on the edge of a cop-out weakness. I want you to reward it so that the mentions of him being prepared are removed. You've written it so it's half cop-out (He can just wear armor to avoid this weakness), and half not (He forgets his armor a lot). Make it full weakness and it's great. Make changes in Purple and tag me when you're done.
In my mind, it is a metal version of Thors hammer (Or...a normal version of the marvel thors hammer) I am willing to lower the weight, but are you sure 12 would be enough? I will have the edits completed within an hour or two.
Let me put it this way. The average sledgehammer (two handed hammer) today weighs around 16 lbs. When combined with the strength of your orc, that's enough to cave a man's skull in. More weight would only make you swing slower, and tire you out.
@Doc_Cantank Due to some confusion in a recent PQ (caused by my own lack of explanation on the subject), I have decided to expand on Borug's PTSD to properly portray my intentions. The edits have been made in blue.
@Doc_Cantank I have made further edits in green on the weakness, expanding on the trigger as well as how it affects him. Frankly, this is less of an IG weakness and more of a PQ weakness. I hope it suffices.
That's alright, it just seemed like you were attempting to skirt around the weakness. Still Approved. @KiddingAround
I apologize, I consistently forget that people cannot read my mind when I write these. Thank you for reminding me.
@Staff Roleplay I need a new reviewer. Edits have been made in red. Rewrite of the personality section and strengths, removal of weaknesses, addition of brass knuckles, and a blurb about his hair and what he's currently doing.
My sole point of review is that I ask you to choose one of those three "weapons of choice" as they each seem to cover one area of combat instead of showing what one particular area he would prefer. Tag me once this has been done.
@HydraLana Tucked the strengths away into a Spoiler. Added the Points system. Made Borug a master of all things good to eat. Made Borug a Grakklak.
My Review: He has 28 Proficiency Points but is aged 27, please correct whichever is incorrect and adjust the application accordingly. Please add in a Languages section in a appropriate location as it is now mandatory in the application format. Please alter his Weapon of Choice to reflect his Proficiency Points. Strengths/Talents or a similar category are no longer allowed in the application format, please adjust yourself accordingly. Please tag me once the edits have been done in green @KiddingAround
@HydraLana Made requested edits. Aged Borug up a year. Moved some points from pastries to cuisine. I've also completely rewritten the personality section because I didn't like the old one.
Please remove "secret sauce" from the Weapon of Choice, I read that as INCREDIBLY sexual since this is a 300+ pound muscled Orc.
