Preserved Sheet Axel Le'vinyre

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Speedl0rd

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Basic Information (Required)

  • Full Name: Axel Le'Vinyre
  • Age: 30
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Ailor ( Alt Regalian )
  • Main Ambition: Protecting his loved ones
  • Special Permission: Expert Turall Fighter

  • School: Turall
  • Level: Expert
  • Source: Attended the school

Visual Information (Required)

  • Eye Color: Light blue
  • Hair Color: Jet black
  • Hair Style: Medium length and messy
  • Skin Color: Pale
  • Clothing: Simple black pants, black boots, a grey shirt and an old, worn black long coat.
  • Height: 6'1"
  • Body Build: Athletic
  • Weapon of Choice: He mainly uses small steel claws attached to the tips of his fingers and his arming swords or daggers
Face
20170206_174523-jpg.111187

  • He has a few facial scars, but they aren't very noticeable, since they're all very old. He does, however, have two recent scars. One from the bottom of his left eye, down to his chin, and another going across his cheekbone, curling up towards the temple on his right side. He also has a glass eye, replacing his right one. His hair is surprisingly soft. He keeps it trimmed, but it still gets in his eyes constantly, but it never seems to bother him. His hair is slightly curly, but it's mainly in the back, with the exception of one piece with a slight curl at the tip. Though, most of his curls are like that. He has an 'I' branded into the left side of his neck, but he keeps it covered with a bandage.
Body

  • Axel is tall and slender, but still has an athletic-ish build. He's not extremely strong, but he isn't weak either. With his coat and mask on, people could mistake him for an Elf, due to his build and height. He has a large amount of scars all over his body/arms. He also has a snake in the middle of a triangle with two lines going across it branded on his left hand, which he keeps hidden with either a glove of a bandage. long one Most are recent and caused by knives. The Ailor is almost always bandaged, sometimes basically wearing a shirt of bandages. In addition to all that, he has some pretty sweet tattoos on his left arm and chest.
Clothing

  • Almost all of Axel's clothing have some sort of use in combat. He has seemingly simple black boots with steel spurs on the back (Mainly just for style). They're specially designed for parkour purposes, allowing him to fall quite a bit without hurting his feet. They also allow him to temporarily run up/along walls, and are rather quiet when he's walking. He has black, slim pants. They mainly prevent his knees from being scraped if he falls, or when he's sliding. They also puff out slightly near the ankles so it doesn't restrict movement. He wears a dark brown belt that hold all his pouches and throwing knives. Axel also has a thin, black, sleeveless undershirt, that exposes his upper chest and black leather gloves. The gloves help improve his grip and protect his hands from scratches/cutting his hand when grabbing a blade. He also wears a slim, black sweater like thing. The neck of it goes over his entire neck, and it keeps him warm. His coat is dark grey with a dark green and faded interior and comes down to his ankles. It's heavily tattered and old. He has two main reasons for wearing it. One: It hides his weapons and it's thick enough to keep him safe from Lyss-Eish attacks, and two: It has sentimental value. He normally keeps it closed. And finally, he has two steel masks. The first one is completely white, other than the black painted on tear drop under the left eye and the rusty red smile carved in the mouth area. The second is also steel, but painted bronze with white accents, mainly around the jaw. It also has a white frown painted on with a tear drop under the left eye and with a red line going through the right eye. And like his coat, they both have soft, green interiors to absorb punches. The eye holes have black tinted glass to keep his eyes safe. The main reason he wears the masks is to protect his face from small projectiles or daggers and some gasses. It also looks cool. So that's a bonus.
Voice

  • Axel speaks in a deep-ish monotone voice. Because of this, it's difficult to judge what mood he's in. He speaks very clearly and rarely messes up on words. He also doesn't seem to have an accent. But he does. He just hides it, mainly so people can't tell where he's from. He is fluent in both common and Daendroque and knows Tatsugo thanks to his step father.


Personality and Abilities (Required)

Personality Traits
First Paragraph
Axel is normally seen as anti-social and violent. People that talk about him are either talking about how he cheated on them, or attacked them or a friend for seemingly no reason. Either way, it's he isn't perceived as a nice person. He's been involved with gang wars and other minor events, and each time, he's forgotten. People who meet him for the first time normally think he's one of three things. Intimidating, endearing, or just a prick who's being hostile for no reason. And at the end of the day, he's just another faceless, easily forgettable sewer dweller.
Second Paragraph
The man is a mess of emotions on the inside. He's sensitive, emotional, and sad, but he doesn't express any of it. No one, not even his closest friends or lovers know how he actually feels on the inside, and because of this, he's mentally unstable. The reason he's like this is because he's afraid people will psychologically torture and control him, like his mother did with his attachment issues, or his ex-lover did with his obsession with keeping her happy and safe. He has a lot of trouble socializing, because he wasn't able to do it as a child due to his attachment issues with his mother. He resents men and is even intimidated by them due to his step-father, Richard, and Alfred mentally and physically abusing him, and, because of Nyx, he thinks every time anyone shows any form of love towards him, they're trying to manipulate him for something they need. Because of all this, mixed with the recent deaths of his wife and children, he's taken up drinking. Heavily. He's also pretty sadistic, but he keeps it hidden well.
Third Paragraph
Axel is very loving and caring to the people he loves. He's extremely protective of them to the point where it sort of annoys them. But despite trusting them, he still doesn't open up and express his emotions to them and normally just dismisses questions about them. His friends either don't give shit, think how he acts is who he is on the inside, or respect his decision of keeping them bottled up. But it's normally the first two. They typically see him as kind and supportive.
Fourth Paragraph
Axel could be considered Chaotic Neutral. He doesn't really harm others unless he has a reason, but then again, he's sadistic and would kill a child if one of his friends needed him to. His actions aren't normally perceived as good, but to him, they're justified. He doesn't really care what people do, as long as it doesn't affect him or his loved ones, but he will step in and help if he comes across someone beating a child or woman (Help the victim, that is. Not the attacker).

Talents

  • Hand to Hand - Axel doesn't have any formal training in hand to hand combat, but he's still pretty good at it. It's mainly because of his main goal when fighting someone while unarmed. Disable their arms. Once he's done that, he's pretty much won. He does this by either dislocating or breaking the elbows. He knows a couple holds and throws that he uses to gain the upper hand. And thanks to being a Turall, he often throws dirt at peoples faces, or kicks at their groin.
    Endurance - He has a pretty high pain tolerance. This allows him to take quite a beating before being fully knocked out of a fight. Thanks to this, he doesn't really react to pain. At least not like normal people do. The most you'd get out of him would be a small grunt or yelp, though this only really applies when he's prepared. If someone were to catch him off guard and stab him or something, then it'd be clear that he was in a lot of pain.



Skills
Eh, he's pretty good at cooking.


Eshe Yadira (Love/Dead) @AtticCat
Eshe is a Qadir that Axel met his first few days in Regalia. She helped fix his wounds, he sparred with her, then fell in love with her, along with another woman before accidentally having a baby with her and unofficially becoming her husband. Then he left her. Then she killed herself infront of him. Which messed him up.
Ru (Love/Dead) @nofckinclue
Ru was his adoptive daughter. Was. He didn't know her very long, but they both grew attached to each other almost instantly. One day, he was told that she had been murdered. Fun fact, this happened just 2 days after Eshe's death and 1 day before his torture. Shitty week for Axel.
Alfred Schmidt (Dead) NPC
Nyx's father. He convinced Nyx to get Axel and a few others to help escape his gang. He emotionally abused Axel after finding Nyx was dead.

Lucinda something (Love) @GryffindorGirl13
When they first met, they tried to kill each other, but after Axel allied with her coven to keep himself safe, they eventually became friends, and then lovers. Then he left her lol. She's tried to kill his daughter, he's set her boyfriend on fire, then cut his eye out, but somehow, they're still friends. The main reason he hangs around her is the same reason he dislikes her. She resembles his mother. Look wise and personality wise. She's even possessed, just like his mom. Because of this, he places his residual attachment issues on her, which makes him seem really clingy.
Myla something @DaddyAnna
One of his closest friends. He's only known Myla for a little bit, though.







Life Story
Childhood
Axel was born on September 8th, 280 AC in a city known as Arvost City. His mother was pleasure possessed while his father was an Alt Regalian mercenary who was also a rapist. You can kind of guess how Axel was conceived. Axel had, what most would consider, a rough childhood. But due to his lack of socialization, he thought it was pretty normal. His mother originally planned on killing him, as she didn't want to have to raise a child, but then she changed her mind. She wanted to give him a good childhood, but her motivations for keeping him quickly changed. Due to their lack of money, she had to rely on a family friend, Alfred and his two daughters, and her half-brother Richard. She decided to start a mercenary group to make money, so she sent Axel to school to learn Turall


His mother always had a new lover every week, who abused both her and Axel. Eventually, Axel developed attachment issues and suffered from severe anxiety when away from his mother. Because of this, he was unable to socialize, so he spent most of his time in his house, reading. Axel spent a lot of time learning as a child, whether it was from helping his mom cook, or his uncle teaching him about medicine and whatnot. He also went to many plays.

Teenage Years
Axel was a very angsty teenager. He went from kind, polite boy to angry, hating everything and everyone boy pretty quickly. The main reason was Hoshiko. Hoshiko was his step-father, who Axel hated. He was a prick to him and his mother, and constantly beat Axel down. At first, Axel didn't mind it, because it was normal for him, but then he made friends who made him realize how weird his childhood was. This also led him to dislike his mother, for letting Hoshiko beat on them, just because he was useful to the group. Nyx, Alyssa (Alfred's children) and Axel didn't want to be in the group anymore, but they were forced to stay. At 16, they all had their right hands branded with the groups insignia.


Axel rebelled against his mother with the sole purpose of just pissing her off. He snuck out, got in fights, tried to run away (he succeeded at running away a couple of times, but he came back each time) and even started fights with Hoshiko. Because of all this, Axel got beat down a lot. Eventually, him and Nyx got together, but unbeknownst to him, she was just trying to use him so they could get out of the group.

Adulthood
Axel continued working as a mercenary up until he was 21 before trying to escape with Nyx and a few other friends he had made. They were caught, which led to a mini civil war in the group. Pretty much everyone died, besides Axel, Alfred, Richard, Alyssa, Hoshiko, and his mother. Hoshiko had killed Nyx during the fight, which just angered Axel. He attempted to kill Hoshiko for killing Nyx, but he got his arse handed to him and was about to be killed, but his mother stopped him. Hoshiko fled, as did Axel. He met up with Richard, Alfred, and Alyssa a couple days later and they left. Axel was pretty depressed during that time, since he just lost the woman he loved the most, and technically just lost his mother, too. Unfortunately for them, they had to become mercenaries to make money. And so, they travelled around Daendroc, mainly doing bounty hunting jobs to keep them fed.


Axel learned about Nyx's plans to use him to escape, but he just pretends that wasn't true. Eventually, being the manwhore he is, he got with Alyssa, but like all his other relationships, it was somewhat abusive towards him. Alfred hated Axel for letting Nyx get killed and often mentally abused him. After a couple years of this, Alfred and Axel got into a heated argument, that eventually led to Axel accidentally killing Alfred. He panicked after doing so, and abandoned Alyssa. Both Axel and Richard travelled around for a couple more years, up until he was 25. They heard Regalia had been taken over by a certain Freya Lo, and decided this would be a good opportunity to make money. Unfortunately, they could only afford a ticket or Axel, so they sent him there with the plan of Axel making money and paying for Richard to come, but Axel sort of just abandoned him too after becoming a father.
(I'll probably do a thing where I write down all the major development Axel had while in regalia, but I'll do that later.)
 
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again sorry if it's hard to read, im bad at writing <3
 
I can't do a full peer review rn, but I don't think claw blades are lore compliant, as shown by a lore q&a thread which I can't seem to find cry.
Also, his small weapons strength also mentions his agility. Either remove this or add it as a separate strength and balance it.

EDIT: I found the thread: https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/weapons.52248/
If this is not the thing you were referring to, could you please provide an example?
 
I can't do a full peer review rn, but I don't think claw blades are lore compliant, as shown by a lore q&a thread which I can't seem to find cry.
Also, his small weapons strength also mentions his agility. Either remove this or add it as a separate strength and balance it.
I don't see how his claws aren't lore compliant since they're custom made rip.

Also uhhhh. I didn't mean to leave the agility part in Cx whoops.
 
I don't see how his claws aren't lore compliant since they're custom made rip.

Also uhhhh. I didn't mean to leave the agility part in Cx whoops.
Honestly, just wait until a formal review to change it, as I don't really know.

EDIT: @MrSpideyPool I just looked at the Q&A that you posted, and imho, I think those are probably compliant.
 
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Eshe Yadira (Love/Dead) @AtticCat
Eshe is a Qadir that Dante met his first few days in Regalia. She helped fix his wounds, he sparred with her, then fell in love with her, along with another woman before accidentally having a baby with her and unofficially becoming her husband. Then he left her. Then she killed herself infront of him. Which messed him up.
Yet there seems to be someone missing from his family. *Cough* Hani, his son *Cough*
 
PEER REVIEW
  • Alright first things first, one major thing I noticed was that you mentioned that he killed his first man at the age of seven. This is impossible unless the man was under duress. Its completely unreasonable for a seven year old child to slaughter a man.
  • It is impossible to reach above fighter level in the Turall fighting style without attending the actual school.
  • It is also impossible for someone to start combat at the age of five, as they do not possess the suitable mindset for it.
  • If you change the life story so that he attends the actual school, his age will not allow him to reach expert as the earliest someone can start training there is thirteen.
  • You state that he turned into a vampire in his life story, you have to state this as his race as well. Vampires also have red eyes except for one specific bloodline.
  • How would the priests in the temples tell that he was the son of a possessed woman?
  • Why did he go to Regalia? Where does he live?
  • How does he know the simple basics of blacksmithing?
No salt intended, feel free to make these changes in BLUE and tag me.
 
PEER REVIEW
  • Alright first things first, one major thing I noticed was that you mentioned that he killed his first man at the age of seven. This is impossible unless the man was under duress. Its completely unreasonable for a seven year old child to slaughter a man.
  • It is impossible to reach above fighter level in the Turall fighting style without attending the actual school.
  • It is also impossible for someone to start combat at the age of five, as they do not possess the suitable mindset for it.
  • If you change the life story so that he attends the actual school, his age will not allow him to reach expert as the earliest someone can start training there is thirteen.
  • You state that he turned into a vampire in his life story, you have to state this as his race as well. Vampires also have red eyes except for one specific bloodline.
  • How would the priests in the temples tell that he was the son of a possessed woman?
  • Why did he go to Regalia? Where does he live?
  • How does he know the simple basics of blacksmithing?
No salt intended, feel free to make these changes in BLUE and tag me.
yeyeye ty. but he was a vampire hunter. i was just tired af and worded it like a retard. i shouldnt write shit when im tired.
 
I have no idea what this character is named so let's just review:

First thing, Spurs?

How is your character parkouring with the sheer amount of weight that he carries? That's a lot of clothing and extra weapons that would make it near impossible to do the movements required for parkour, not to mention he'd probably stab himself with a stray knife as he tries to roll.

If it only applies to those he cares about, it isn't really Selfless, as he's guarding things that he puts value in. It also goes completely against Sadistic, which is on the far end of the spectrum from Selfless. Honestly I would say that everything you said in Selfless falls already under Over-Protective, so replace Selfless with a different trait to help balance the character.

Under Determined, you mention his training as a 'Gang Assassin' and that he was 'untrained', but that would contradict the Expert Turall perm you are seeking. Fix this.

Socially Awkward and Charismatic do not fit together. You can either replace Charismatic, or figure out how he can be less socially awkward. Charismatic also clashes with Quiet, since you mention he can't keep a conversation going. Charismatic individuals are great in social settings and can keep a conversation going for hours with little trouble.
______________________
Make the above corrections in Green and tag me to continue.
@MrSpideyPool
 
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How is your character parkouring with the sheer amount of weight that he carries? That's a lot of clothing and extra weapons that would make it near impossible to do the movements required for parkour, not to mention he'd probably stab himself with a stray knife as he tries to roll.
And for the parkour thing, his clothing is pretty thin, and he really only carries knives that are kept tightly in leather sheathes on his belt/leg. Plus he spends almost all his time in the sewers, so not a lot of parkouring ever really happens lol

Under Determined, you mention his training as a 'Gang Assassin' and that he was 'untrained', but that would contradict the Expert Turall perm you are seeking. Fix this.
Also, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this ;-;

but i fixed everything else :D

@Doc_Cantank
 
Yea, but I don't see what you're talking about. ;-; It said that he wasn't very good at fighting when he first began to train, not that he was untrained. Maybe it's because I'm tired.
@Doc_Cantank
 
If he attended the School of Turall, he would not be trained to be a 'gang assassin'. Did he receive training before attending the school (which would put him being a sixth year learning to kill people) or after attending the school (which would indicate that he was already quite skilled with weapons and would not be terrible at doing it.)
@MrSpideyPool
 
My only comment is that it still says Charismatic in the Reassuring strength. Reassuring works, but you didn't actually change the description at all from Charismatic.
@MrSpideyPool