I want much more than this provincial life. I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell and for once it might be grand, to have someone understand. I want so much more than they've got planned. Spoiler: Theme Song Avilda's Theme Song Spoiler: Drawings of Avynn Full Name: Avynn Inga Ignace Nicknames: Avy, Avild, Avil, 'Vilda Originally: Avilda Ignaard Age: Thirty. Gender: Female. Race: Northern, Valheimer. Main Ambition: To protect her loved ones. To always do what’s best for the people of both the North and Regalia, to bring them together. Special Permission: N/A Spoiler: ๒ครเς เภŦ๏г๓คՇเ๏ภ єאקคภรเ๏ภ Position in Regalia: Avynn is in Regalia now to take care of her family and friends and dabble in Noble Affairs. She has lived there for over a year now, living in her town estate, which is right by the park. She is currently part of the Chilvers. Upbringing: Avynn was born to two Northerner parents, her mother’s name is Hararida Ignaard, while her father's name is Beirvarr Ignaard. She was born an only child. She has extended family, some of which have recently come to regalia, some live in Opper Calem still and some in Ithaina. Secondary Ambitions: To regain the trust of her friends. To learn the basics of sword fighting. To give her family a good life. School: School of Skagger. Level: Warrior. Source: Father was a Skagger and wished for her to be one, so he sent her to the School of Skagger. Eye Color: Light Blue. Hair Color: Blonde. Hairstyle: Short to about her shoulders, her bangs pulled back over the top of her head in a clip. Skin Color: Pale. Clothing: White undershirt with a blue vest, with brown pants and brown boots. Height: Five feet, ten inches. Body Build: Ripped. Weapon of Choice: Two Axes, secondary would be a small dagger. Spoiler: שเรยคɭ เภŦ๏г๓คՇเ๏ภ єאקคภรเ๏ภ Facial Features: Avynn has a pretty round face, her eyes are a little over an average size and they are a very pretty blue. She has two tattoos coming from her eyes in an almost snake-like way, each eye also has three dots under them which are also tattoos. Her teeth aren’t the straightest but she tries her best to keep them clean. Her nose also has a tattoo covering it. All the tattoos she has are skagger blue. Her ears each have their own set of piercings, The left ear having a piercing on the top of her ear and one on the bottom of it. The right one has the same but in slightly different positions. She also has an eyebrow piercing. She usually has a neutral look on her face and sometimes more than often a small frown. She has a small scar on her nose which is covered by the tattoo. Her hair is a nice blonde color that is cut to about her shoulders, her bangs are pulled back on top of her head, which is collected in a clip. Her neck is covered in two tattoos, which will span down along her chest. Body: Avynn is about feet feet and ten inches tall, with a ripped body. This comes mainly from her training. She has pretty pale skin, with not much fat on her. Her body is covered in various tattoos as well, mostly on her chest and stomach. The Northerner has a scar straight above her belly button from a stab wound. Appearance and Accessories: Avynn isn’t one much for dresses and such and wears mostly combat-ready outfits. She doesn’t really have much other jewelry besides her piercings, she has one necklace given to her by her good friend Ally that she wears from time to time. She carries a small hunting dagger for protection. Describe the character’s voice: Avynn had an accent due to her parents mostly speaking to her in the native tongue, though through recent development she has lost most of it. The Northerner talks in a pretty tired and stress tone, a stable voice unless made angry. Common |8/10 Als-Tunge |10/10 Skodje |10/10 Ithainan |9/10 First Paragraph|Stubborn Pride: Anyone who would meet the Northerner for the first time would find her a prideful and rather stubborn individual. Avynn’s intentions however are good, she would help a stranger in danger in almost any situation. This stems from her want to protect the people of the city. She is giving and caring in her own right. Second Paragraph|Determined: Avynn on the inside is unsure about herself, In a simple form of borderline personality disorder. She is confident that she can find her way back out and work towards her goals through the fog she sees in her head. Some of her fears push her back but she is determined to move forward and keep the people she cares about safe. More then all, she is determined to be happy. Third Paragraph|Strong Bonds: Avynn’s friends and family mean the world to her. She wants to be able to keep them safe and happy. Anywhere her friends go, she follows. She would swim across an ocean to help the people she cares about. Most of them feel the same about her. Fourth Paragraph|Chaotic Good: Avynn is a Chaotic good. She wants to do what is right for the empire but can’t help to sometimes go more for what she wants. She has a habit of trying to do the right thing only to go about the wrong way of showing it. Most likely Avynn will try to do what is best for the empire over herself however. Fifth Paragraph|Faithful: Avynn is Imperialized, having fully converted herself to Unionism. Avynn feels no regrets for switching, however she does still hold respect for the religion of her family and their culture. Her view on nobility is that it should be the leaders of the commoners and of Regalia under the Emperor and offer support in that way. Spoiler: קєгร๏ภคɭเՇץ คภ๔ ค๒เɭเՇเєร єאקคภรเ๏ภ Quirks: Avynn has a habit of putting her hand onto her forearm to steady herself. This happens when she is presented with the thoughts of magic or any memories of torture. Her fear of magic often makes her nervous and afraid. Skills: Cooking Fishing Hunting Skinning Guitar Playing Skagger: Having once been a Champion skagger, Avynn’s ability with her axes is still skillful. She still trains at least once a day to keep her skill level up. She still has a passion for the school and all it taught her. She just struggles with her control. Determination: Avynn is determined to do right in the world. She is determined to meet her goals and work towards making the empire a safer place. Through this she is able to put herself into positions that help her and let her help both her family and her kin. Loyal: Avynn has always been loyal. From the day she started working as a house guard, and through all the guard charters she has been through, Avynn is loyal. She would never turn her back on her friends or the empire unless something came in the way of that. Spoiler: ɭเкєร คภ๔ ๔เรɭเкєร Birds Sweets Guards History Books Rain Spicy foods Criminals Writing Politics Bugs Lampar Magic Fear of Magic: Avynn has a deathly fear of Magic. After the torture, she found herself unable to get close to magic. Often times she will tremble with terror at the mere mention of magic and if it is used in front of her it is likely of her to panic. This of course is a problem when it comes to battles and fighting mages. Overprotective: Avynn can be super overprotective of her friendship and family. She feels like if she's let's go of them for one second she'll lose them. This can often make her seem overbearing and clinging. This has cost her some friendships and makes other lose a little bit of respect for her. Spoiler: гєɭคՇเ๏ภรђเקร Current Family: Agenette d’Vaud (@Betel_ ) | Agenette is Avynn’s adoptive daughter. Avynn still loves her daughter, even though she is married now and has a family. She is very willing to support her daughter in anything and hopes to find herself a grandmother soon. Yrsa Ignace (@Wolfiecat940) | Yrsa is an excited little girl that Avynn adores. She finds the excitement and determination of the young woman remarkable. She is more then willing to support her in whatever she needs. Current Friends: Darcie Vauclain (@WalnutNinja) | Darcie is the love of Avynn’s life flat out. Though she knows being with the woman will never happen. She can’t help but staying close to her any ways. She will always hold her close to her heart no matter what. Erwald Ravenstad (@Battlebrawn) | Erwald is Avynn’s best friend, she wouldn’t be as far as she has come without him. Ever since the first day of meeting him she admired his bravery. She has his back for the rest of her time on this world. Childhood {0 - 13}: Avynn was born in 268 AC, on November 19th, to a Valheimer tribe in the tundras of Opper Calem near Drixagh. She was born to Hararida Ignaard and Beirvarr Ignaard. Her parents, along with some of her other family decided to leave from Ithaina due to war. Growing up in Ithania granted the northerner a much more peaceful life. However, she still learned many ways of the northerner culture as she grew up. Her parents taught her the Faith of the Old Gods. Her parents taught her other Valheimer traditions like mud wrestling and they encouraged her to get tattoos. Avynn had a close relationship with both her parents and lived a very adventurous childhood. She started to learn how to do things like hunting, guitar playing and fighting from her father, and things like cooking from her mother. Teen years {13 - 28}: In her early teen years she practiced many of the skills her father taught her. She always was there when her parents needed her and always was outside and up and about doing things. Then at the age of sixteen, her father sent her off to the School of Skagger. He had learned there himself and wanted his daughter to follow in his footsteps. She happily went, excited to learn the many things that the school in her eyes held. She went to find a hard start, her temper often causes her trouble, especially through the initial training. She barely passed to the next stage, but through constant training her attitude bettered itself, and soon she could control herself. The rest of her time at the school was spent training hard to become an expert Skagger. Avynn’s determination to make her father proud is what brought her through. Finally, after twelve full years of training and preparing, she finally completed her training. Gaining her skagger tattoos. After School life {28 - 30}: Avynn left school after becoming an expert Skagger. She decided at this point in her life to travel around. She soon found herself in the Regalian-Archipelago, then in Regalia. After a short period of time she fled Regalia finding that she couldn’t live with a single mistake she made there. Young and frankly frightened she returned home, staying with her parents. Avynn returned to Regalia with the intentions of a fresh start. Needing to gain connection for her family and just have a fresh start. Her first job was a House Guard for the Vauclains. After being fired from that position, she moved to become a Wodenstaff guard. She worked for them for a long while, working as well in the Bluesteels and Military. She won a medal for her efforts on the war front. She as well worked in the Inquisition and Sellswords. She worked for the black hand for a little while. While she did she was captured and badly tortured by the Devout Few and a mage of theirs. This gave her problems to this day, causing her lack of emotional control in certain situation. This is what caused her to lose her title as a champion skagger, down to a warrior. Avynn also became a blue blood after these events, working on making her family better.
Let's get started, shall we? Firstly, I'd to ask you to specify where exactly Avilda gained her School of Skagger training in her Skill Information. Her father having it taught to her is a reason why she learned it, not how. In the second paragraph of your Personality & Abilities, you mention that Avilda thinks she should 'do what her heart tells her to.' I suggest that you remove this. Skagger are taught immense emotional and mental control. Going by instinct in anything other than Beserking simply goes against what an Expert Skagger would be taught. In the fifth paragraph of your Personality & Abilities, you mention that 'Avilda thinks it's a blessing to be alive.' Although this might work with other characters, it doesn't with a Skagger character. I'd like you to either remove this or expand on it, since it goes against the Skagger training to kill. Moving onto your Weaknesses, I'd like you to remove or rewrite the weaknesses of Stubborn and Arrogance. Arrogance is a cop-out weakness and being stubborn simply isn't something that can always be considered a weakness. Rather, I'd say that you should incorporate the stubbornness into her Personality & Abilities rather than her Weaknesses. I'd also like to ask that you rename her Martyrdom weakness, since martyrdom simply isn't the word for that weakness. Finally, I ask that you comb back through your app for any grammatical errors, including punctuation. Mark your edits in red and @tag me when you're done! Happy editing!
Hi! Thank you for reviewing my app! I have a couple questions. Could you expand a little on this? I'm a little confused on how this would affect the Skagger training she got. I wanted to make sure this is 100% fine for her to be able to do. You didn't mention it in your review so I guess that's a good sign. I also would be wondering how well she'd be able to play it and such and If she would be better at playing drums due to Skagger training? Otherwise, then that, I made the edits you wanted! They are marked in red :)
Since a Skagger is trained specifically to be a killer on the battlefield, a love of life isn't something that they'd be able to maintain whilst holding their position, especially at the Expert level. Maybe I've just misinterpreted it, though. Does she love life or love living?
I made a small Edit in Red to the sentence in hopes that It'll help. Also anything on the Guitar question I had?
Guitar looks to be fine to me. Again, though, this seems to be the wrong word. Maybe 'Blameless' would work better? Aside from that, everything looks good. Just rename that one weakness and everything should be fine!
@Scribbe I know I just updated, but I updated again to fit the new Northener rewrite. Here's what I changed most of it is highlighted in this color. Changed all "Baltarc" parts into Valheimer. Changed "Expert" wording into "Champion" cause I forgot to change it the last time. Changed Langues to match new Northerner dialets- Common, Skodje, Alts-Tunge and Ithainan. Added Sevi Ni'Salann to relationships Changed where she was born due to the fact that if her extended family died in the burning of the north they wouldn't have lived in Nordskag, so I changed it to the actual infected area - Drixagh. ^-^
Hey @Scribbe made small edits to fit the change to nobility and her new family members. Added Nicknames and bumped her age up to 30 since tomorrow is her birthday Changed some of the Basic expansion to further match where she is at now Added few things to Visual Expansion Added and removed some relationships Added parts to the Life story Changes marked in Red shouldn't be that much to check over as most of the changes wherein expansions and I did a lot more changes to make the app prettier then the actual writing haha.
Okay! Sorry about the long wait; here are my requested edits: I feel the second half of this is very vague. The people of where? Clarify this. I also think this could be simplified and removed as a specific weakness. The specifics of this could be added to the second paragraph of her Personality and Abilities, while her Magic weakness essentially covers the magical aspects of the weakness. Finally, in Avynn's Life Story, I'd like you to mention the incident that led to her fear of magic and BPD, as this is a character-changing event. Otherwise, this app looks good! Mark your edits in red and happy editing! @CRASHIR
Think I got it all! Just so it's clarified oocly as well; I choice not to put as much detail into her life story over what happened to her because even though it is a big part of her character I'd rather keep it an Ic story to tell!
