Preserved Sheet Atilio Amaya

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Greenie

As Useless As SupremeCripple's Legs
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Atilio by Gabriel.png
Basic Information
  • Full Name: Atilio Alexandros-Andrieu Amaya
  • Age: 29
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Full Daendroque Ailor
  • Main Ambition: Power
Basic Information (Expansion)
  • Atilio currently lives in a multitude of places. He's been known to spend time living in the Crimson Citadel barracks, but owns a large house close to the mainstreet.
  • Atilio was born alongside his two siblings in the Amaya family estate, situated in Daenshore to Moysei and Eirene Amaya. His immediate family and close relations mostly live in Daenshore:
    • Florence Amaya, 14, Son.
    • Ezmeralda Amaya, 25, Sister.
    • Adrian Amaya, 25, Brother.
    • Esteban Amaya, 46, Uncle.
    • Alfredo Amaya, Uncle
    • Fernando Amaya, 23, Bastard Cousin.
    • Gaston Amaya, 73, Grandfather.
    • Moysei Amaya, Father.
    • Eirene Amaya, Deceased, Mother.
  • Atilio has a want, a need for power, he sees that he's possible of leading armies and controlling lands. He'll often go out of the way to obtain power and make connections with nobility, always looking for allies. He's currently working on this goal the most, the other two he thinks can wait for a few years.
  • Atilio has also had thoughts about taking up the mercenary route, he finds it an interesting way of making an income and would allow him some more fighting action.
  • Atilio also has ideas of dabbling in steam power. He had an idea to become world renown for something that didn't involve Andrieu's dictatorship, and venturing into the engineering world could help towards that. It also helps that he was recently gifted an airship from the Duke Lorenzo Martinez, he has begun to figure out how different parts work together and how he can make metal move.
Visual Information\
Atilio2.png
  • Eye Color: Green
  • Hair Color: Dark Brown.
  • Hair Style: Long curls that hangs over his shoulders
  • Skin Color: Smooth Daendroque tone,
  • Clothing: Duttino robes with Calemberger hintings
  • Height: 6'6.
  • Weight: 219 lbs.
  • Body Build: Muscular
  • Weapon of Choice: Longsword
Visual Information (Expansion)
atilio the surfer.PNG
  • Atilio has a chiseled facial structure, with a rather large jaw, a cleft chin and a defined forehead. Most of his facial features are normal sized and look like they fit, like his nose, ears, eyes and mouth. The skin on the left side of his face is covered in burn scars from a recent attack by a Qadir fire mage. Atilio's eye colour is a distinctive bright green, which to most show an intimidating, stern expression. His usually facial expression and height also shows off this cold look. Atilio's long, dirty-brown hair is puffed out, somewhat curly and falls over his shoulders. It is often held back with a gold band. His also has a small goatee, cleanly shaven into a sort of diamond shape. Atilio has three silver rings in his right ear, and two in his left. They hold no real value, only there to make him look good.
  • Atilio is by far the most physically strengthened in his family, due to focusing most of his time on training his body for battle. He stands at 6'6, a large sturdy height and weighs roughly 219 lbs to counter this. He has strong long legs from where he gets a portion of his height. His arms are relatively long too. He is broad shouldered, flat chested and overall a athletic, muscular man. His right leg, from the foot to the knee is also missing. This was torn off during the Hiesir raid and is replaced with a fine crafted wooden pegleg with metal plate surrounding it. Atilio has a normal Daendrocian skin tone, the honey brown tan gained from his parents. He has two tattoos, one of a in depth design of Daendroc styled patterns which runs down his right arm and covers his left breast. The other is on the right of his back, the head of an Elasmo, the same one from the family sigil. He has a relatively large scar running down his left arm, where a Nelfin managed to injure him during the battle for Lenna Bas. Very recently he has actually obtained multiple new scars due to constant attacks by inquisitors underneath the Axford Citadel. Atilio has quite a lot of body hair covering his chest, arms and legs.
  • Atilio is normally seen in his casual attire, which are a mix of Duttino and Calemburger robes in the Amaya family colours. These robes are orange with gold and silver linings. On the bottom half of his body he wears brown leather pants and large fancy brown boots. Another newer outfit Atilio sports is a set of Northerne armour, primarily used to make himself look more tougher than richer. Even fit with a long white cape, Atilio is still getting used to this new outfit, as it differs quite a lot from his free fitting Duttino. Atilio wears a silver chained necklace with a pendant containing small portraits of his siblings. He keeps this to remember are good memories he has of them.
  • Atilio's voice could be described as somewhat Spanish, with very noticeable Maori and Polynesian tones, he sounds rather energetic and loud. He does tend to slur his words, normally on accident. Atilio can speak fluently in Common and Daendroque, and his dabbling in Modern Elvish.
Personality and Abilities

Personality Traits

  • Stern - Not the nicest of people, Atilio's normal expression and vibe give him a angry, brooding impression to people. He flaunts this nature, trying to tell people through it he's not to be messed with. Though recently, he's tried to uplift his personality with the need to make allies and new friends to help his redemption. But however, he always has this lingering sternness on him.
  • Intimidating - Atilio looks like a very intimidating man to most, his height, weight and normal facial expression often giving people the vibe of intimidation. Atilio often uses this to his advantage on a battlefield or when winning an argument. His intimidation is also known to drive people in the other direction, afraid of getting their teeth punched in if they double crossed him.
  • Intelligent - Having been schooled at a Daenshore academy from a young age, Atilio has enough smarts to pass off as a scholar, though never took the opportunity to take up higher qualifications in Regalian schools. Atilio has good enough tactical knowledge that has allowed him to take up high ranking strategist positions in past battles, yet his intelligence seems to be dwindling from side effects from psychological drugs. His main topic of interest during studies was strategic battling, but more recently, Atilio has decided to maybe do a little more with his life. He is now starting to read more into Unionism, also a chance of redemption in the eyes of the Imperial Spirit.
  • Arrogant - Atilio is a very arrogant person, he sees the power of him and his close associates and family as almighty. He believes that with those he can trust, he can accomplish anything within his power. Before a battle is won with him and others involved, he will already be planning his celebrations. His arrogance can also land him in hot water because he can brush off a situation quickly or not think straight that his plan or attack won't work as he would like it.
  • Violent - Atilio in some cases can be a very violent person, shown by small bursts of rage or intimidation. He gained this violent nature from a sort of 'brainwashing' from his Uncle, who planted the ideas of violence being alright in his mind. If angered, he'll most likely lash out if there isn't the proper restraints in place. Even without angered he might not be able to pass beating someone who deserves it.
  • Judgemental - Atilio tends to judge people how he sees fit, usually by status, race and looks. When meeting someone, he'll often decide if he should be nice or not before he's even made interaction. The way they are will also impact any future relevance to him, as he's not likely to forget a face if they seem important enough to remember. Atilio also thinks if they could also be a threat to him, holding some sort of grudge or blackmail against him which could further destroy the little honour he still has.
  • Demanding - Atilio has an attitude to demand, which he thinks comes from his Ailor blood and status to the other races. He could order people around like some sort of pet, most doing what he says in fear they might get the end of his fist. Though, he would never order something of the same status or higher to himself. He likes to order others about, giving out orders even if he isn't in command. When they listen, he is very prideful, and ensures himself that commanding is his right.
  • Paranoid, Crazy - Recently Atilio has been undergoing a lot of panic attacks and hallucinations due to being injected with psychological drugs for nearly a straight month. This has shaken his life, and he is prone to twitching and muttering. Almost as if crazy. Examples of this include but not limit to sudden loudness, scratching of the skin, eye twitch and random body spasms. This new nature of his is concerning to those who previously knew him.
Strengths
  • Tactician Skills - Over Atilio's teenage years, he was taught by a professional tutor the art of controlling battles and strengthening his form for battle. This comes in handy whenever Atilio is present and grand battlefields and able to use his full potential with it, and even comes into use when sparring or bringing justice as a Crimson. However, after the effects of drugs his intelligence has dulled his tactic talent slightly, but not in such a way that he has forgotten how to do it.
  • Good Swordhand - Atilio has done countless hours of training throughout his life, sword training no exception as he knows multiple techniques. It comes in handy during some situations in the Guard and on the battlefield.
  • Determined - Atilio isn't one who would give up on something all that easily. He will relentlessly try to accomplish a goal until he succeeds.
  • Fast Problem Solver - Since he was scholarly and well educated at youth, he can use his mind to solve problems that happen around him, This knowledge comes in use when he is in a situation with a criminal or is trapped or hurt when doing physical challenges.
Weaknesses
  • Torture Wounds - The constant attacks on Atilio by inquisitors has left him rather broken, some of the bigger areas hit like his ribs haven't healed properly either. Because of this, these areas are weakened and more vulnerable to attacks.
  • Aggressive Fighting Style - Because of the attacks he throws out Atilio often makes mistakes in fighting. Sometimes he'll strike against an opponent and it'll miss entirely because he isn't thinking about what he's doing, he's just throwing punches or swings. It also leaves him vulnerable to attacks and incapable of suddenly defending himself.
  • Clumsy - Atilio can come off as clumsy to some, often accidentally stumbling and limping after his leg was badly damaged in an attempt to rescue Ulric Typhonus from Qadir captivity. The injury is healed, but left him with the limp.
  • Arrogance - Atilio believes his powerful friends and guard companions are capable of besting any foe, and never doubts the power of his family's gaining wealth.
  • His Left Arm - Ever since his injury at Lenna Bas, Atilio has found some daily tasks more difficult to perform, such as extremely heavy lifting. This arm is also weaker in combat.
  • His Right Leg - Ever since it was ripped from him in the battle of Heisir's base of operations, Atilio has found a lot of problems with this new leg. Whether it be movement or combat, this disability can only mean trouble. One major problem is his swordsmanship. He can no longer go on a defence because he cannot stand his ground with one leg, and moving with a heavy sword isn't exactly helpful. To counter this, he's begun to use lighter weapons.
  • Physiological Drugs - During his time in the Axford Citadel, Atilio experienced daily torture and was experimented on to attempt and make the perfect Imperial supporter. However, these drugs only messed with his mind, dulling many of his previous knowledge advancements in slightly different ways. For instance, his tactical skills have dwindled, but not to a point where he has forgotten them and his sword play has decreased significantly, to a point where he hasn't touched his blade in weeks.
Personality and Abilities (Expansion)
  • Atilio has a tendency to move his eyebrows around depending on the mood he's in.
  • Atilio is a skilled battle strategist. This comes from puzzle solving and previous battle experience. He considers himself a natural, because he's never been in a tactician in a losing battle.
  • Atilio is a relatively good singer and is able to hit both high and low notes. He's been known to perform war cries and songs to friend and foe, either to encourage them or fear him.
Likes

  • Regalia's Military Involvements - Atilio has taken a love for war and fighting from a young age, growing up learning tactics and combat. The Imperial Army is something he's proud to be involved in, making sure he's enrolled in almost every battle he can. The armies of Regalia is another reason he joined the Violet Order.
  • The Daendroque Culture - A great fan of his own culture, Atilio goes out of the way to show off that he's proud to be a Daendroque. He regularly speaks in Daendroqin, wears the traditional clothing at events and influences it to others.
  • Drinking - Atilio is quite a fan of alcohol, which can lead to him being found in a number of taverns across Regalian soil. He drinks for the love of the taste and to calm his mind. It is also one of the reasons he became a bartender at the Golden Willow.
  • Power and Status - One of Atilio's most wanted things in his life, the power to control armies and lands. He often makes contact with Nobility, trying to sap off of them connections and alignment.
  • Physical Exercise - Atilio likes to keep in shape because it keeps him busy and also makes him more capable of providing assistance to those who can't perform certain tasks, like heavy lifting or protection. It also helps his mental health by calming him as he exercises.
  • Attention - The easiest way for Atilio to get where he wants to be is through reactions to glorious acts or bright and decorated clothing to be able to make awes, compliments and even glares.
  • Fighting - One of his stronger talents, Atilio has a strong fighting arm and is studied in combat techniques. He enjoys sparring with fellow guards and battles in war, often showing off his tactical skills. He is also slightly knowledgeable in Nicoloan Fighting and Dressolini Fencing, but not enough to be able to perform them.
  • Dogs - Atilio enjoys canines, having made a companionship with Andrieu's dog Diego before being locked away. His favourite breed is the Calemberger Hausweiler.
Dislikes
  • Criminal Activity - As a Violet Guard Atilio doesn't enjoy the likes of thieves, murderers and random street brawlers. He retrains himself completely from taking part in these activities while fighting against them as part of the Violet Order. The amount of criminals he'd seen encouraged him to become a guard.
  • Disrespect - Much like other members of his family, Atilio cannot stand being disrespected by common slander. While he will tolerate the insults from higher authority, some equals and most commoners will find themselves under threat from him or another guard.
  • Vampire/Undead - Something he has found a nuisance through his guard work, Atilio despises the Sanguine and Undead curses. He takes every step of curing or removing the vampirism with ease, and always makes sure to cut the heads from his victims, wary of them rising back with thoughts of revenge.
  • Opium - The sole reason he hates this drug is because of his sister's addiction. He thinks of it as a disgusting and unwanted thing in his life, always looking the other way when offered it.
Relationships
  • Ezmeralda Amaya - Beloved sister, one of his romantic interests. While Atilio and her have their differences, they still force tolerance on each other.
  • Adrian Amaya - Disliked brother, Atilio observes his brother as a failure with more interest in debauchery than anything else.
  • Florence Amaya - Son, Atilio loves and cares for the boy with all his heart, he hopes for the best for his child.
  • Esteban Amaya - Father Figure.
  • Fernando Amaya - Cousin, Atilio finds him a bit quirky but is enjoyable company.
  • Andrieu Anahera - Atilio has mixed feelings for the Dictator, brainwashed to hate the man he once loved and admired.
  • Apollonia Tzavaras - One time lover, Atilio sees her as a minor political ally with power in Etosil, one of the real reasons he cares about her wellbeing.
  • Lorenzo Martinez - Political Ally. Atilio actually detests the man greatly, likely because of Lorenzo's reputation as a crime lord and failed political power.
  • Naushe Kearney - Rival. Atilio feels he can relate to him because of their shared disability. However, as Naushe once held a romance with his sister, there is a slight amount of hatred for the man who tried to take away his love.

Life Story
Atilio was born alongside siblings Ezmeralda and Adrian to Moysei and Eirene Amaya. Eirene died shortly after their birth and Moysei fled the family, leaving their uncle Esteban in charge of them. The triplet's were showered with family riches, allowing them to have a bright future. Atilio didn't properly meet his sister until he was a little older, taking a more than sisterly liking to her.

Atilio's youth was indulged in studies, attending both a soldier training school and three tactician schools. He used to practise a lot of strategy via games with his uncle, such as chess. He also took the time to get closer to his sister, and began to pick up her much more frail nature. After reaching their mid-twenties, the triplet's set out to Regalia to study abroad. Atilio went there to participate in the Elven War effort. This is where his first real taste of battle was felt.

Atilio returned to Daenshore after this for a short term, before coming back to Regalian and became employed as a Violet Guard. This was only a few weeks before the Qadir war, and Atilio helped overthrow them in the later months with the Crownguard resistance.

Atilio's next battles took place in the Hadravian State, serving as an strategist for a few of the battles, and no losses from his planning made him a well known and excellent tactician. This didn't fail him either when the battle of Curag fields came about, even more praise with the other strategists for the win. After the battle, Atilio was married to Apollonia Tzavaras and had a son, Florence. But was quickly divorced, and took his son to Daenshore.

Atilio remained a bit more low key after that, his guard work taking up a lot of his time, he loved the job. It was all taken away from him, however, when Blythe Barlowe made a simple arrest over dramatic for jumping from a ledge, blaming Atilio for 'pushing her'. Because of this, Atilio was seen as a corrupt Violet, and was removed from the Order.

Just before this event, Atilio found himself in the service of Andrieu Anahera, the Arch-Chancellor. Andrieu had seen something in the fellow Daendroque, and asked him to take an army to Daenshore under the guise of reinforcements for the new Daendroc rebellion, and was asked to kill Alejandro Anahera. Atilio carried out the mission, and secured himself as the leibgarde for the Arch-Chancellor, as well as being pardoned from his discharge from the Violet Order, and rewarded by Andrieu with the rank of Violet captain, and the promise of his ownership of a Marchdom, which he would be given once politics had died down.

To Atilio's surprise, he was instead gifted an entire duchy, the duchy of Forriesta Natal. Atilio was eager to get into the political scene, and was also granted the title of marshal of the realm. However, he didn't get to hold these titles for long, when the rebellion hit on Andrieu's formed dictatorship, Atilio was stripped of all titles, discharged from the Violets again and arrested for supporting Andrieu's rule. After being found guilty, Atilio was sentenced to what felt like lifetime of imprisonment, yet was only jailed for at least two months. In this time, he was constantly attacked by inquisitors and was injected with physiological drugs. He was made to suffer, and submit.

Atilio was later released into the world with unusual events happening, unsure of what to do. He went on the path of redemption, joining the Crimson Inquisition and climbing their ranks before their eventual disbanding. He served in the Violet Order for a time before being handed the county of Alto Barataro from his sister, who had appeared to be missing. He also sat on the city council for some strange reason, before that was dismissed a few days later.

In the Bone Horror invasion, Atilio went to Daenshore with Lorenzo Martinez and saw the troubles there. Atilio opted to stay away from plots and public affairs for a time after this, trying to think of a way to save Daenshore.

This would never come to light however as when Freya Lo and the Deathling army arose, Atilio found himself tied to a pyre by Basium Lampero. Atilio died screaming outside the Greygate prison with a large crowd of onlookers, hoping he wouldn't die in vain and would always be remembered in Aloria's history.


Full Version
In the year of 275AC, on a chilly night, the Amaya family doctors and nurses rushed around the newly built infirmary inside the Amaya Estate. The most trusted doctor was sat patiently between Eirene Amaya's legs, urging her to keep pushing. Her husband Moysei was by her side. holding her hand tightly in anticipation.


The woman screamed in pain as she pushed the first baby out of her, a small girl who was hastily handed to her mother, enough time to hold her before the second baby was in place to be pushed out. The next baby to come was Atilio, who was larger than the average baby, though normally healthy. Atilio was gently handed to Eirene who sadly, while holding Atilio in her arms took her dying breath. The room fell into utter silence as the nurses paused for a moment, lower their heads to the deceased. Moysei, who now cradled Atilio in his arms had tears springing from his eyes, leaning himself against his wife's body. Though it wasn't all over yet. The nurses had to quickly cut the final baby out of her, Adrian. The child were laid out in front of their father, their first moments together, and one of their last.


Despite their good health, Moysei couldn't find the courage to stay and take care of his children. Instead, distraught by depression from his wife's recent death, the man quickly wrote a letter to Atilio's uncle, Esteban, explaining how he wouldn't be able to stay in Daenshore and take care of his children. He left the note in the hands of Esteban before taking off into the unknown.


The Amaya triplets were the most showered by family relatives and notable wealth deposits, acquiring a large sum of gold from their first weeks alive. Atilio, having no mother, was nursed by maids of the house alongside his two siblings.


When Atilio was three, he had begun his life playing around the Estate, often running around the large enough garden followed by his brother. His sister wasn't a part of his life at this point, he had little idea she even existed. Esteban was close with Atilio, making sure the boy was in line for his future plans.


On Atilio's fifth birthday, he was greeting finally by his sister. A small, frail looking girl he would of disregarded if it wasn't his sister, even if it was her age. She was a saddened child, Atilio could see that. But he was also gifted a small training ground near the estate gates from his uncle, He was also allowed to go to the Daenshore Academy, as well as his siblings. Atilio was taught many things in his education in the years to come, including a few languages like Claith and Ithanian. He also learnt about his family history from Esteban, where the flow of wealth they held came from. Social Etiquette and mathematics were something he thoroughly enjoyed, which led him to focusing solely on battle tactics and power in later years.


In his time without periods of study, he began to center himself to physical training on practice dummy's in his small training ground, hitting them with wooden swords handcrafted by himself. He also took this time to try and get closer to his sister, whom he had seen less and less in past years. To him, she seemed even more frail than what she was in her youth, though he never cared much as to why.


When Atilio reached the age of ten, his uncle Esteban notified him that he was to go under specialised military education. With the guidance of Hed Luca, a tactician in service of the Amaya family, Atilio progressed even further in his military path of becoming a strategist. From the ages of ten to twenty, he made large progressions, his body and mind strengthened into a soldier. In his spare times, he tried his best to spend time with his siblings, their bonds slowly breaking apart with each of them following up on studies. There once came a year when Atilio had very little to no contact with his sister, which swallowed him into a slight depression, curious on what kept their separation.


As Atilio and his siblings reached adulthood, they began see each other more often. Atilio finally could spend weeks with the two, something he hadn't done for years. Atilio found his care for Ezmeralda had grown stronger, believing it was his task to protect his sister, his matriarch.


When Atilio reached the age of twenty four, his family had decided it was time for the triplets to leave the Estate. They sailed for Regalia, landing with fine clothes and hefty bags of regals. Fortunately, a house already existed for them in the city, owned by Moysei when he stayed there. Not as big as the estate in Daenshore, they had a hard time moving in. Atilio found himself in a city packed with people, so many more than his home and it pushed upon him too quickly. All at once, his anxiety and shyness crept up on him, keeping himself away from the outside rabbles.


After spending an entire year cooped up, Atilio finally shrugged off his problems and moved out of his comfort zone, taking onto the streets. He enlisted in the Imperial army firstly, the war for the Elven states slowly beginning to progress. He was first brought to battle in Hellar Tallarna in Thellessia, where he was able to help charge the front lines until the Talar brought reinforcements. He'd made sure to take the head of his first victim and drive it into a pike, which Atilio saw in a sort of respect to his first fallen victim.


The second battle he took part in was the battle in Lenna Bas, where he was led on with Kade troops. He was about to witness the large ogre-like trees the Evergrowth and String Mages had created, narrowly missing their gigantic arms as he slaughtered below them. Though, his time in the battle was halted unexpectedly when a Talar made a move on him, slamming an axe against his armored arm. He was taken to medical rooms, his arm limp. In the coming days he was taken back to Daenshore to be with his uncle, where he ended up spending months training the strength in his arm.


Once returning back to Regalia, he slowly began noticing the Violet Order, something he knew he'd be a part of. what he'd been made to do. In the weeks following, he took part in some more battles against the new Sultanate war, making headway as a tactician and helping in a failed rescue of Ulric Typhonus. After that he was accepted into the guard after applying, only mere days before the Qadir took Regalia for themselves. He made an act to support the Qadir, life continuing on normally for him until the resistance, holding his ground against the Qadir before state officials came into play.


Atilio's next battles took place in the Hadravian State, serving as an strategist for a few of the battles, and no losses from his planning made him a well known and excellent tactician. This didn't fail him either when the battle of Curag fields came about, even more praise with the other strategists for the win. After the battle, Atilio was married to Apollonia Tzavaras and had a son, Fernando. But was quickly divorced, and took his son to Daenshore.


Atilio remained a bit more low key after that, his guard work taking up a lot of his time, he loved the job. It was all taken away from him, however, when Blythe Barlowe made a simple arrest over dramatic for jumping from a ledge, blaming Atilio for 'pushing her'. Because of this, Atilio was seen as a corrupt Violet, and was removed from the Order.


Just before this event, Atilio found himself in the service of Andrieu Anahera, the Arch-Chancellor. Andrieu had seen something in the fellow Daendroque, and asked him to take an army to Daenshore under the guise of reinforcements for the new Daendroc rebellion, and was asked to kill Alejandro Anahera. Atilio carried out the mission, and secured himself as the leibgarde for the Arch-Chancellor, as well as being pardoned from his discharge from the Violet Order, and rewarded by Andrieu with the rank of Violet captain, and the promise of his ownership of a Marchdom, which he would be given once politics had died down.


To Atilio's surprise, he was instead gifted an entire duchy, the duchy of Forriesta Natal. Atilio was eager to get into the political scene, and was also granted the title of marshal of the realm. However, he didn't get to hold these titles for long, when the rebellion hit on Andrieu's formed dictatorship, Atilio was stripped of all titles, discharged from the Violets again and arrested for supporting Andrieu's rule. After being found guilty, Atilio was sentenced to what felt like lifetime of imprisonment, yet was only jailed for at least two months. In this time, he was constantly attacked by inquisitors and was injected with physiological drugs. He was made to suffer, and submit.


Atilio was later released into the world with unusual events happening, unsure of what to do. He went on the path of redemption, joining the Crimson Inquisition and climbing their ranks before their eventual disbanding. He served in the Violet Order for a time before being handed the county of Alto Barataro from his sister, who had appeared to be missing. He also sat on the city council for some strange reason, before that was dismissed a few days later.

In the Bone Horror invasion, Atilio went to Daenshore with Lorenzo Martinez and saw the troubles there. Atilio opted to stay away from plots and public affairs for a time after this, trying to think of a way to save Daenshore.

This would never come to light however as when Freya Lo and the Deathling army arose, Atilio found himself tied to a pyre by Basium Lampero. Atilio died screaming outside the Greygate prison with a large crowd of onlookers, hoping he wouldn't die in vain and would always be remembered in Aloria's history.
 
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@Greenie
Just to update you, the initial changes that we spoke of still need to be made throughout the application. If you do not make these changes within the next 6 days, I will need to reject Atilio due to inactivity as I will be unable to complete a review otherwise.
 
@JakkDhread

Edits from our conversation have been made, I've also rewritten fairly large amounts of the application to fit Atilio's present personality and life, along with other added things here and there so you may want to reread.
 
Hello @Greenie, thank you for being so patient with this review. Realistically, there are only a few minor issues that need to be addressed but after this is done, we can get Atilio all set up for accepting :D
  • The most glaring issue I have with your application still would be your weakness section. Primarily, in contrast to your strengths, you have listed one mental, one personality and two ability strengths, however only one disability in each section. I would say that you should include another fairly strong weakness and replace "His Body Size" as it does not really serve to balance out the character.
  • Small note within your Weapons of Choice section. You say "each given to him to Gustavo", I believe you mean given to him by Gustavo. Not something that breaks the application, but something that can still be fixed should you apply the effort :)
Once these issues have been taken care of, we can see about getting Atilio approved! :D

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@Greenie
It seems you still have yet to address what I mentioned about the weaknesses. While you did add the 'intimidating posture' as a weakness, you still have Body Size. I will have to ask you again to add a weakness that affects your character more than preventing him from walking through small doorways and entering small spaces :)
 
Edits made. Tagging @Jared4242 to have a look over them because he's my lovely Atilio reviewer boy. Edits are done in red.
 
I hereby claim this character for review!

  • Sure redeem himself, but how? What specific actions is he taking? Whom does he align with? What's his long term goals? There's so much more you can expand on in life goals.

  • I appreciate the sheer number of personality traits, but too many traits for anyone will result in a overly complex character. Narrow it to 8, 4 positive and 4 negative. But keep the detail up, and then some; I'm talking 5-6 sentences. Explore these traits, and consider what sort of situations they play up in. Are the involved in decision making, social situations, his general mood? Consider all that, and go wild. And defs keep "paranoid".
  • Remove intimidating posture. It has too many positives to be considered a true weakness. In it's place, add -2- more weaknesses, for a total of five. They can be any sort.
Application Progress: Under Review!
 
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I hereby claim this character for review!

  • Sure redeem himself, but how? What specific actions is he taking? Whom does he align with? What's his long term goals? There's so much more you can expand on in life goals.

  • I appreciate the sheer number of personality traits, but too many traits for anyone will result in a overly complex character. Narrow it to 8, 4 positive and 4 negative. But keep the detail up, and then some; I'm talking 5-6 sentences. Explore these traits, and consider what sort of situations they play up in. Are the involved in decision making, social situations, his general mood? Consider all that, and go wild. And defs keep "paranoid".
  • Remove intimidating posture. It has too many positives to be considered a true weakness. In it's place, add -2- more weaknesses, for a total of five. They can be any sort.
Application Progress: Under Review!
Cheers for the review mate! I've done what you've asked, things will still be outlined in red.
 
There's 11 traits, not the 8 I suggested. and they're all under detailed. Return to my original advise on them, and comment back if you're strill struggling with specific arguments or concerns
 
"I'm talking 5-6 sentences." - My original post on personality traits. You're struggling, so here's some more tips to get there. When writing these, add specific details on what is going through Atilio's mind when he makes decisions, or when these traits become apparent
 
@Jared4242 I have added more sentences to most traits. If you think there are more problems with it, pm me over Skype.
 
Throwing this back out for review. Updated to the new format.
 
This character seems to be pretty in depth! I'm looking forward to the read. Anyway, here's your review.
  • Has anything else suffered from Atilio's month of physiological drug exposure? You mention his intelligence has waned slightly, but you still describe his physical and mental faculties to otherwise be in pretty top shape. Atilio also strikes me as very young for such a seasoned tactician. How extensive was his education?
  • How has Atilio's swordsmanship suffered under losing a leg? A wound like this could be argued to squander one's fighting capacity hugely.
  • I also noticed a mention of Vices and Virtues in Atilio's life story, and steam power in his interests. Yet both of these have very fleeting mentions for such niche studies. I'd like to see an expansion on both of them. Why is he drawn towards either?
Overall, it's evident that this application has been through numerous reviewers. I had to push myself to find what points I did. Tag me when you've made your edits! Until then...
Pending!

@Greenie
 
@Greenie

If you add me to your relationships I'll update mine so that there's actually SOMETHING there.
 
Huh! Seems I wasn't alerted by your first post. Sorry about that! After reviewing your changes, I can happily approve this.

Approved!