Preserved Sheet Ariane 'the Marquis' Lagarde

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The Spanish Inqusition
I regret every moment of writing this. :|
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Basic Information

Full Name: Ariane Nina Lagarde, though she is called the Marquis.
Age: 29, her birthday on April the 14th.
Gender: Female
Race: Half Ailor, Half Chien'ji. Ithanian descent, infected with Vampirism.
Main Ambition: Wealth and power through anarchy and manipulation.
Special Permission: N/A.

Ariane has been relocated from an unknown province which she doesn't directly recall the location of, she was smuggled into Regalia with no money and currently survives by scrounging what little food she can and attacking stray urban explorers for blood and finances. You know, the sanguine life.

Ariane was born in Clementine, Ithania where she was sold to a slaver organization at the age of fourteen following her parents death by raider amputation and manipulation. She was raised on the bare minimum before she eventually broke free and began to return to Ithania to try and make a life for herself. Though like all things, it didn't end up very well.

Ariane has some low-key sanguine influenced beliefs that the infection can be used to restore peace in Regalia by uniting people with one common goal and with this, she might start a stray heretical infection spree on many unsuspecting civilians. Otherwise, she is interested in making a family. You know, the less insane idea in her head.
Skill Information

School: School of Stealthmark
Level: Warrior, with eight years of training.
Source: Attended the School of Stealthmark and performed eight years to learn the required training, while constantly attempting to practice every night, even under the worst conditions. E.G. Vampirism.

Visual Information

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Eye Color: Murky Green, though they are red due to Vampirism.
Hair Color: Dark brown, bordering black.
Hair Style: Balayge Bob when she can.
Skin Color: White, pale.
Clothing: Ariane is a fan of dresses, as they make her look normal amongst the others plotting about their daily lives, though she is more accustomed to low-light uniforms for work at night.
Height: 5'8"
Body Build: Ripped.
Weapon of Choice: Dagger, one she can throw and stab with.

While her ailor background is much more prominent, she displays a significant amount of her Chien'ji heritage with her facial features. Due to her training and work within the Stealthmark school, she has recieved a knife wound across her left shoulder and two direct stab wounds in her tricep and underarm which are clear as day when not blocked by her fashion styles.

Ariane's voice is a simple, slow Ithanian voice which is capable of speaking both common and ithanian fluently and clearly. She can just barely speak Claith from her time as a slave, though it is a struggle to speak in full sentances and often causes confusion. Her singing voice is untapped potential, as it comes with a natural melodolic tone. She tends to make slip-ups in her common, as some Ithanian variations of the words tend to make an appearance but only very rarely.
Personality and Abilities

First Paragraph...
Ariane is often percieved a delusional sanguine blood-sucking freak with ideaology similair to a raider or misdirected fanatic with a knack for causing her opponent to fall dangerously close to life-threatening traps, though she will never finish the job. This is likely the first glance to see in a combat situation which is where you would likely find her as she sorts herself into Regalia as the Marquise. Although, this is not directly the case. Ariane, outside of her combat role which she primarily focuses on is often seen as a manipulative, talented individual with leadership and team member based skills.

Second Paragraph...
Ariane was raised in poverty and hence, her goals and motivations stem from a desire of accomplishment in the unforgiving plane of Aloria. Her morals come into question as she doesn't neccesarily agree with her tactics and deep down, hates herself for the actions she has completed. She has a fear of putting trust into others but herself and from this, creates an anxiety when meeting new people and the potential they display for betrayal of their own gain.

Third Paragraph...
She believes strongly in the preservation of her people and will break her moral code if it means keeping a friend or family member alive and well to fight another day. She is shown doing this by the way that she won't back down from a promise, whenever she makes them and will often overshadow and support members of her 'unit.' She treats her friends and family like she would her dead parents, with compassion, respect and support for their endeavours.

Fourth Paragraph...
Despite her percieved intentions, Ariane follows a strict moral code to try and prevent the death of anyone of low or moderate status, E.G. guardsman, workers and otherwise. This is done primarily for survival and the fear of having a death squad appear from thin air and request kill perms, but it is a clear statement when in the event of a fight. While on the other hand, Ariane does not appreciate the corrupt wrong-doings of the present law society and benefiting off others own gain and aims to breach this cycle and bring money to the poor- where she believes it belongs for their contributions.

Fifth Paragraph...
She does not currently follow a religion, as she believes them to be bogus instillations to control and preserve order within communities though she understands their existance and hence, does not directly want to interfear with their doings. After what she experienced amongst the bone horrors and the other terrors acrioss Aloria in recent years and many before, she percieves the world to be unfolding as a story and hence, is confused by the nature of such a concept. She's on to us.
Talents

Coordinated Assault through Stealhmark...
Ariane is excessively coordinated with how she operates as a contingency to winning a fight, hence her reputation as a fighter is usually significantly unfair towards her opponent. From this, she has a reputation of laying a number of traps which remain out of sight of her competitors and this is employed in a number of different ways. This was learnt from experience while suffering from vampirism and her training within the School of Stealthmark, using this talent to bait unsuspecting civilians and guardsmen alike with much success.

The Marquise and her tricks...
Being a talented con-artist has brought up some nifty lying and charismatic techniques often employed by politions but she can employ this in practical environments. Misdirection and misbelief all help instruct her opponents into their certain demise but this is also translated into her skill as a leader or public figure. Essentially, she can talk her way out of situations within combat situations and even without, which provides a nifty non-combative escape to situations.

Likes

Thunder Storms,
While in the safety and comfort of a roof over her head and some walls to keep out the wind, Ariane enjoys the fiery display of thunder and lightning crossing the sky at speeds quicker than a heartbeat as it keeps her occupied on affairs which don't surround her directly. Otherwise, out of these scenarios, she is displeased and not eager to be struck down by the clouds and its directed fury.

Guitar Melodies,
Realistically, who doesn't like a good pattern originating from a wooden box and a couple of strings. Ariane loves them and in some ways, can be lured into traps from them if someone was aware of this. She is like this due to her experiences from communities and hence, enjoys the idea of a guitar as it stimulates the community and brings hope in times of depression.

Darkness,
As typical of a sanguine, Ariane finds sanctity in the darkness as to her, it is pure simpleness. Nothing in sight, just your hearing and your feeling to find a way and from this, she enjoys environments which cover no light. This stems from her experience as a Stealthmark and her time as a sanguine, but it is a prevailent factor in her living conditions and her quality of life.
Dislikes

Blind Murderers,
As mentioned in her moral code, Ariane is strongly against the idea of causing unneccesary death and from this, dislikes people who follow the exact same; which makes her stance on war fighting extremely negative from past experience. She will quickly turn boats on people who exhibit this mentality, as she does not want to repeat her past actions or to be involved with such a thing.

Authority of the Law,
Exhibiting fear of authority from the law manifests from two direct causes in her lifetime, her time as a Sanguine and the negative implications caused by people wishing to remove her from existance entirely or simply cure her and also, her time as a slave which created a fear of anyone having control over her and the things she does.

Politics,
Ariane hates politics and the asshats that run the system and her goals require exploiting this system. This goes hand in hand with her dislike of the authority which preside heavily in the Holy City as they follow a legal system which in her opinion, isn't efficient enough. Politicians run free of their crimes, making the lesser man poorer and poorer so they can enjoy their fancy wine; it all needs to be put to an end.

Life Story

0 - 14, Ariane's childhood in Ithania.
Born in Clementine, Ithania on April the 14th, 277AC. Ariane was raised into a middle-class family amongst the countryside and the beauties it presides to a Mrs Gaby Ardouin and Dany Lagarde. Her father and his parents of Chien'ji origin, she was grown into a poncy ithanian mentality with the occasional visit to their heritage. She attended school and excelled within her age group which had her moving closer to the cities to study more in-depth and hence becomes the smart-ass she is today. Her childhood was basic and complex at the same time until two months after her fourteenth birthday, a raider clan of Jorrhildr decent raided the house in suspicion of fine wealth- murdering her parents in a gruesome chain of events, leaving a message of blood and guts for all who lived nearby. This began the chain of events which shaped her mindset today.

14 - 16, Ariane's loss and detention to Eriu-Inn's.
Quickly after the death of her parents and the ties with her grandparents being lost from lack of knowledge, she was admitted into an orphanage where she was admitted into a small band of slavers. She was auctioned off to a bidder, being shipped to Eriu-Inn's, held captive by a small scale claith organization with limited knowledge of the outside world. She was trapped and forced to work for two years, before she eventually broke free of her captures during a slave revolt and hijacked a ship, sailing for the open sea for hope for a better life.

17 - 25, Ariane's escape and rebirth to the new world.
The ship was poorly manned, and crashed on the south coast of Daenshore where she quickly found herself lost again; but closer to hope. She spent her time trading stolen emeralds for carrages back to Ithania, where she began to study the School of Stealthmark at age 17. She stuck within the school, having experiences predominatly within the Celyreos' private military organization to gifted with first hand combat and the art of weapon creation. She learnt how to craft explosives for combat, albeit simple and effective at certain points; yet they provided a tactical edge over opponents. Years went by with minor conflicts between mercenary contracts and whatsoever; allowing her to study relatively well.

25 - 28, The Marquise Tutorage to death from below.
She left the mercenary ordeal and finished up her time within the School of Stealthmark, retaining her ability as a tutor after a solid eight years of service, now aged 25, she travelled to Fenderfelle to set up a small school for the Ithanian kids who met much greater luxoury than she did. All was well for three years before the bone horrors finally struck, and all hell broke lose. She experienced the waves of undead siege the port city she resided in, slaying many in masses as the streets were covered in blood and anarchy quickly pursueed. She held up with a group of survivors but over the months, each one went one by one before she was finally the only one left.

28 - 29, Survival under pressure.
Hope was diminishing, her supplies ran dry and the attrocities she had commited just to survive. She killed one person in her eight years of training but within that despitate time, she had slain twenty people over the smallest things to keep her going and turnt to vampirism, in an effort to survive without food. She had become a monster amongst the sea of existing, and still remained hunted by all. This set her morality for survival, she is afraid to take another life but knows anarchy can bring some luxouries, with a hectic amount of downfall. She remained her fighting none the less, despite how tired she was or hungry. She had to be ready for the worst case scenario.

Present day, Unionism and its civilized regime.
She arrived in Regalia a month after Freya Lo had been removed from the city, smuggled into the port by weapons smugglers before all were quickly apprehended and brought to justice, causing her to be cured for the first time. She attempted to survive in such a city, restarting her former business before it all began to fall apart once more and hence, her descent back into the blood-fueled pit restarted. She now lives in poverty, infected with the sanguine affliction why continuing her past trades. Her eyes set on a better future for herself, and this dragon can surely be a good distraction for this.
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Hey there! I have to suffer through in school suspension for the day, so you get to suffer through a... Peer review ! Let's go !
  • In general
    • Please place all "expansions" and sections that were marked as "optional" on the template in a spoiler as they are not required for staff review.
  • Basic information.
    • All looks well here!
  • Visual Information.
    • Body Build: Keep in mind going from ripped to gaunt would take a good portion of time as ripped is one of the most optimal bodies in means of fitness, while gaunt makes your body skin and bones. I would suggest using something closer to ripped, as stating she's becoming gaunt leaves a large window for misinterpretation by players for what she looks like and how strong she is.
  • Personality paragraphs.
    • In general: Please bold all key-terms used to describe Ariane.
    • First paragraph: Though reaching four lines, you only have two sentences. Please add 2-3 more or turn your run-on sentences into sentences of their own to make this a proper paragraph. Keep in mind this is just how people see her when they first meet her, or what they may hear about her. No need to mention what people would really find out.
    • Third paragraph: You mention she cares for friends? But, how do her actions and personality differ with them? Is she more friendly, emotional, stern, ect. Also please mention here how she were to treat a lover if she were to have one.
    • Fourth paragraph: You kind of mention it but I would like to see it more straight-forward. How does she feel about those in society that blatantly abuse a position of power, or display corruption? Does she ignore it and look away, step up and confront them, etc?
  • Talents.
    • Explosive reputation: I'm not entirely sure how compliant hand-grenades are. The only mention of a grenade I can remember was used by with-hunters. Though, I am not certain. Possibly go into more detail on this grenade in a spoiler?
    • Additionally: Where is her Stealthmark talent? As a warrior in the combat school that should be certainly explained here.
  • Life story(the knit-picky part)!
    • In general: Go through and add the current year/ her current age throughout the story and at any crucial points in her life to help the staff-reviewer better follow along.
    • First paragraph: Please mention her birthdate here. Month, day, year. Did her parents have names?
    • Second Paragraph: An Ithanian orphanage handed her off to slavers? Why?
    • Third Paragraph: What made Ariane learn stealthmark? In this small amount of time she learns how to fight, craft blades, and how to craft explosions? This seems like quite a bit for such a small amount of time. Even-more so after reading about how those in training can hardly leave the keep, and how they need to up-keep constant training.
    • Forth Paragraph: What kind of school did she start? Educational, stealthmark? And, why would she start a school?
    • Final Paragraph: You mention her being cured for the first time. Cured of what? Was she a Vampire already? If so, go back and mention her being infected. Also make sure to mention how she got currently infected.
Over-all this is a wonderful app. Just because I said something, doesn't necessarily mean its wrong! It just means it's something that could be made better, or made more clear. Anyways, have a great day !
 
So, uh, @MugKing not to be a dick or anything but.. Uh.

Final Paragraph: You mention her being cured for the first time. Cured of what? Was she a Vampire already? If so, go back and mention her being infected. Also make sure to mention how she got currently infected.
Hope was diminishing, her supplies ran dry and the atrocities she had committed just to survive. She killed one person in her eight years of training but within that desperate time, she had slain twenty people over the smallest things to keep her going and turnt to vampirism, in an effort to survive without food.

Second Paragraph: An Ithanian orphanage handed her off to slavers? Why?
Quickly after the death of her parents and the ties with her grandparents being lost from lack of knowledge, she was admitted into an orphanage where she was admitted into a small band of slavers.

Even-more so after reading about how those in training can hardly leave the keep, and how they need to up-keep constant training.
Level: Warrior, with eight years of training.

Taken directly from the lore page.
"A Warrior Stealthmark will either have settled as a tutor at the school or abroad, or "graduate" from the school and begin travelling the world. At this point, a Stealthmark Warrior can stand against most other schools of the same rank, but still vitally rely on stealth and agility to have a chance. A majority of Stealthmarks stop at this level, and can stand toe to toe with most other warriors, if not handle champions with enough foresight and preparation. This takes another year to complete."

I'm fixing what you said, but a lot of these points were already mentioned or in my fact-checking, already right. Just didn't want you bringing them up when I left them further along.
 
  • Must have missed the vampirism spot, my bad! Hard to keep track where I left off when switching between tabs acting like I'm doing school-work.
  • The orphanage was not "Why is she in an orphanage" it was "Why would they hand her off to slavers?"
  • And, the keep thing was once again my bad. I got the levels mixed up in my head. Oof.
 
Claimed for review! And thank you for the lovely peer review @MugKing !
 
Review time!
  • The likes/dislikes and Basic Information expansion sections must be inside of a spoiler until approval.
  • Explosive Reputation...
    Dangerously, Ariane has experience with making explosives through deconstructed military grade weaponry through her encounters with mercenaries employed by House Celyreos and other organizations in her youth. From this, she has the knowhow to construct light-yield hand grenades with enough time and focus, though their reliability is to be questioned. (E.G. I roll for their efficiency in use.) She can also build directed explosives with the same principles, but these often result in accidents and hence are a last measure in times for pre-planning.

    These explosives are very basic and work on two systems, being thrown incendiary devices acting similair as molotov cocktails and small hand grenades consisting of gunpowder which fire light-yield broken pieces of glass and metal found from the environment. Not enough to kill someone, but a useful device in a trap for stunning for a further move.
    Homemade explosives are not lore compliant. Neither are grenades or homemade bombs. The closest you can get is through alchemy.

  • As for her race I would ask you to keep it at half or fullbreed. When we get into /3rd's and /4th's everything gets confusing! Thank you for understanding!
Make all edits in a new color and @ me in the comments once done.
 
Review time!
  • The likes/dislikes and Basic Information expansion sections must be inside of a spoiler until approval.

  • Homemade explosives are not lore compliant. Neither are grenades or homemade bombs. The closest you can get is through alchemy.

  • As for her race I would ask you to keep it at half or fullbreed. When we get into /3rd's and /4th's everything gets confusing! Thank you for understanding!
Make all edits in a new color and @ me in the comments once done.

Should be all in order.