Preserved Sheet ~ Archard Maurice Fleurance ~

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Requesting re-review!
  • Changed the proficiency and mutations according to the new vampirism lore.
  • Lowered his age.
  • Removed some excessive parts of the life-story (Since his life has been shorter now)
 
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I am claiming this character application for re-review.
Expect a response within 24 hours.

Sorry for the ultra slow response! If you find your old reviewer has left staff, you're welcome to mark your threads with "Needs Reviewer" as opposed to "Needs Re-Review"!
 
☼ Staff Review! ☼
Hello, my name is Eccetra and I'll be reviewing your app today.​
  • Without any points in Linguistics, Archard can only know Common and his birth language. For this reason, please remove Modern Elven, or add +6 points to Linguistics!
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  • While this will likely be a pain, it's not allowed to claim nobility (of Regalia or foreign lands) in a character's life story. As such, please remove any mentions of him being a count or prince and change it to say he was simply part of a wealthy or aristocratic family. This is of course unless you've been approached for such under the permission system and I haven't seen it.
Please mark your changes in another color and tag me when you're finished!
 
Eccetra said:
☼ Staff Review! ☼
Hello, my name is Eccetra and I'll be reviewing your app today.​
  • Without any points in Linguistics, Archard can only know Common and his birth language. For this reason, please remove Modern Elven, or add +6 points to Linguistics!
    -
  • While this will likely be a pain, it's not allowed to claim nobility (of Regalia or foreign lands) in a character's life story. As such, please remove any mentions of him being a count or prince and change it to say he was simply part of a wealthy or aristocratic family. This is of course unless you've been approached for such under the permission system and I haven't seen it.
Please mark your changes in another color and tag me when you're finished!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
  • Removed Modern Elven.
  • Removed and reworded bits of the life story to fit the bill.

Changes marked in red.
@Eccetra
 
Changes!

  • Changed his vampirism from Alais to Shilôt.
  • Gave him new Shilot mutations. + Extra languages as a result.
  • Changed large parts of his back story to better fit the new vampirism.
@Eccetra
@Rochelle_
 
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Vampirism Update!
After considering the recent updates on vampirism, I've decided that alais mutations now suit the intended feel and play style of the character far better, and also go better in terms of what I plan to do with the character in the future. Thus I've changed him back into Alais vampirism from Shilot.
  • I removed all Shilot mutations and proficiencies.
  • Added alais bloodline mutations.
  • Aged up the character and added proficienciy points to magical knowledge, statesman knowledge, and
@Carlit0o @Eccetra
 
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