@Volaie Hey my guy, just wondering if you're almost finished with looking over my application or not? I'm not trying to rush but with all the events and such going on as of recent ICly my character is one of the main gang that is fighting alongside the Resistance and needs to be active in events. And I need an accepted application to use abilities/Prof Points to. So, just stopping to check in rq. Thank you! :D
Sorry about that wait. So, before I even read through your Life-Story, I'm going to need you to cut it down. It exceeds 2,000 words, when the limit, at the max, is 900. You can place your longer version in a spoiler, but for the main application, I'm going to need to see a story at the most of 900 words. Please tag me when you are finished.
@Volaie *Yikes* ahhh, no, no, really its fine don't sweat it too much alright? With everything my character has been through and how ancient she is. Over time I have been trying to cut down on the backstory and put parts into Spoilers where I can and keep it short. I put another decently large section in a Spoiler. Is this fine?
So, your Life-Story is still decently long. As I said before, I need you to give me a 900-word summary of all of this, and put your original in a spoiler. I am asking you to re-write this section, essentially. I don't want you to have to delete everything, so you can put your larger bit in a spoiler, but please give me a much smaller scale. There's also something I'm confused about — in the bit I read, Ania arrived at age 13, assuming you meant this is when you first started role-playing her. How can 50+ years have passed since this date?
Oh, I started playing her Mar 28, 2019 . So it's been a few good OOC years now, and I time skipped quite a bit, but I could age her down if need be? And- ah now I see. I'll get to work on that. I thought you wanted me to try cutting it all visually down to just 900 words keep the rest in spoilers. But I can do that,
I feel guilty, I'm like "I need my app accepted asap" Also me: Takes like, three full days to make all the edits and get back to you on it. I got completely hammered this weekend with events. Thank goodness I'm getting a very much needed four day weekend this week from school lmao. I made a shortened version and I hope it's what you wanted. Just Ping me if something else needs to be done thank you! :D @Volaie
@Volaie I am, so sorry for this. I tried getting to the files to delete some things clogging up my files area and it kicked off my tag. I also chose to give Ania some shielding combat, and bought a few more Engineering packs, and yeeted Modern Altalar and left Faraddi as her single parent language given now she can't have two parent languages. Lmk if this is ok or not.
@Acosmism I removed her Magic Bolt 1 Artifact Knowledge Shield Combat Training Metallurgy (I never got to use it a whole lot) And I replaced it all with investing into Caster Ranged Combat, chosen alignment for abilities are Primal Powers as to match with her Primal Affliction. I hope this is ok! Just lmk. Due to the nature of the abilities acting mainly as utility and not direct combat abilities. I think it should be overall fine. Given Cratos are meant to be heavily intuned to being utility anyways.
Condense this further or put it in a spoiler. Takes up too much space and the aesthetics don’t help. You need only list the phys stat. Remove this entirely. Put in a core concept section. Please actually follow the new character application format. You’re missing progression talents entirely as well. Overall your app is very long with unnecessary information. Tag me when these changes have been made.
I put the entire ability section into a spoiler. For the phy stats isn't the points going into the phy stat important to note down so people, staff particular don't need to do the math themselves cause it's already all chocked down for them? The reason it's like that is mostly for staff convenience. But I'll remove it no problem if it needs to go. And than on her personality I put it into a spoiler and left the Core Concept right on top of it. So if people want to read about Alexa and her personality in more detail they can.
Pulling this back into review as it was revealed to me that Cratos cannot use the ranged caster category. Please correct this and tag me when you're done.
I gave her Astral Being 2, Element Brand 2, and Element Control 5, and than invested +4 points into Circus arts and +6 points into fist combat.
You need to choose either combat or sorcery, you cannot have both. Thus far you have a fist-fighter engineer sorcerer, which is essentially a jack of all trades, This overall proficiency spread doesn't quite align with a Cratos. If you make the changes indicated, however, you should be good to go. Tag me when you've finished.
I removed Astral Being 2, Element Control 5, all the Fist combat profs. And replaced it with 2 Metallurgy packs. gave her Home Enchant 1, kept Element Brand 2 because of nature aesthetics. I gave her back Engineering Weapons. And gave her back the Modern Altalar language via Linguistics. And finally I gave her Rogue Gift 4. I'm trying to make more of a balanced mix between her nature as a Yanar and a Cratos. @Acosmism
If you want to keep all of your combat, you’ll need to remove sorcery entirely, or vice versa. Moreover, and this is more of a comment and less something that you can really act on, but a Yanar Cratos is contradictory in and of itself by title alone, much less function. Trying to balance between the two may dip too far into the end of concept poisoning. Tag me when you have made your changes.
All sorcery has been removed, you were right Aco. For a Cratos to have magic doesn't make any sense and I should've realized that sooner. Upon becoming a Cratos Alexa would've abandoned sorcery entirely in truth, but when Technik was removed I wanted to try keeping some of her old abilities. I was dumb, to think otherwise, it made no sense for her as a character and I apologize immensely for the issues I may had caused staff. @Acosmism
@Acosmism It has been done, Alexas app just got a huge overhaul and I plan to upload Ania's app soon enough to. Yay to Wind/Nature sorceress.
My bad! Modern Altalar is meant to be her parent language, I had made Faraddi her parent language for a while and Modern Altalar a Linguistic Language. Forgot to edit that though back to being her parent language, @Acosmism
@Acosmism I uploaded another file to the thing and lost the tag, basically just putting down her Progression Talents down at the very bottom. Nothing too fancy,
@Volaie Wait I'm dragging you back here for one second! I noticed on the Cahal thing it says Cahal do not have any Abilities in their Base Kit. Instead, Cahal gain 4 commutable Point-Buy Points that can be spent in specific Categories. These commutable Point Buy Points do not increase any Proficiency Stat, but allow the purchase of additional Point-Buy Packs, even if a Character already has 7 Packs bought in that Category. These commutable Point-Buy Points must be mentioned on the Character Application, and are lost instantly when the Character is cured. These Commutable Point Buy Points may be used in the following Categories: Engineering Point Buy, Alchemy Point Buy, Magic Point Buy, and Afflicted Point Buy a unique category only certain Afflictions have access to. Each Cahal Type does still have Specials though. I just added those four packs spread, I'm sorry ahh. Let me know if I did this wrong or not, at this point with all this free stuff I'm getting. It feels illegal,
@Volaie I decided it felt like WAY too much magic, so I knocked down quite a lot of Alexas magic and reinvested the points elsewhere. Such as into Constitution with arts and crafts for Alexa and became stricter to only Nature/Exist lined type magics for Alexa. I also made some other changes here and there in general trying to make Alexa feel more balanced as a character.
