Alistair Bess'aisella Caheles

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Spoiler: theme

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➪ full name. Alistair Bess'aisellaoncië'io'jaoell'one Caheles ( Formerly Auylie'essen )
➪ age. Twenty.
➪ gender. Male.
➪ race. 3/4 Avanthar 1/4 Ailor NOLAN'S BULLYING ME
➪ special permission. none.

&& main Ambition. The pursuit of happiness | Good entertainment to watch.
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Spoiler: Extension A

{ ✠ } | Alistair’s position within Regalia has improved a bit, now living at a disclosed area, of which he attempts to bring as least amount of people into his homes in attempts of being more cautious.

{ ✠ } | The Quarter-elf was born to Alreasonynn “ Nathan “ Deceres, and Llu’ciare Auylie’essen. Alistair’s line-up of siblings include his only full-blooded sister, Jessamyn Auylie’essen, and his half-blooded sisters Araidith Deceres, Lillon Deceres, -- And unknowingly, a brother to one, two, three and several more others that he is currently unaware of.

{ ✠ } | Alistair deems himself worthy enough to fight an Arken, should he ever come face-to-face with one. Though, to ensure that this meeting happens, he plans on summoning one of those greater beings to fight them. He thinks of it as facing his fears - though if brought into an actual, religious mindset, his theophobia will rise to beat down this goal. Making it secondary.

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➪ birthplace. In a two-story home, down the street from the Golden Willow Tavern.
➪ date of birth. August fifteenth, 285 AC.
➪ zodiac. Leo. ♌
➪ archetype. paranoid bandit.
➪ Lucky Number: 15 & 40

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➪ school.

Tenpenny.

↳ rank. Fighter.​

Blackmark.

↳ rank. Novice.​

➪ source.

↳ Sajo'. | Friend. (?) ( Tenpenny training. )
↳ Heikki / Other friends of Nathan Deceres | Past commander and assorted friends of his father. ( Blackmark training. )

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➤ eye color. Pale blue.
➤ hair color. Black, with brown undertones.
➤ hair style. Combed back, few loose hairs on his face.
➤ skin color. Tanned brown.
➤ clothing. Navy jacket and a vest and under-blouse + sash ( And pants. )
➤ height. 5’10” - ( 177.8 cm. | 70 in. )
➤ body build. Muscular.
favored weapon.

knives. ( x2 )
Regalian Holy Mace.
Fists.​

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( traits. ! )​

{ ✠ } Outsider's glance || first paragraph.

If anyone who’ve known him before could had noted - the change in his personality was drastic, sudden and irreversible to him. Now nearly all are aware of the young man as a chipper young Nelfin, a large smile upon his face as he embraced life more than ever before. Beaming with alacrity, it seems difficult to ever see him waver in any sort of unfortunate situation. It’s either his boastful - varying to regularly excited to brazenly impudent - or his ways of being rather cruel to those he finds no worth in himself. He comes off as extremely childish.​

{ ✠ } Inner view || second paragraph.

Amazingly, his depression was cured by the power of magic, and just selling your soul. Alistair finds himself a lot more chipper to those around him, and goes slightly more easier on himself. Though, has a fear that such happiness could be ripped away. Such as by means of torture that so recently happened, or by any other bad situation he could be easily tossed into by saying the wrong things. Therefore, Alistair has taken the time to try and avoid such sentences. To the point that while he continues to be himself, so social and amiable. However, it seems that Alistair had become a bit of a people-pleaser due to the unnatural fear of being tortured again but has grown numb to the sense of trust, leading him to flip sides like a coin. As of now, it's shown that the only real loyalty he holds to is to a fellow Nelfin named Ehrendil. He’s also grown more apathetic towards his enviroment, along with questioning the whole genuinity of his own happiness considering the fact that it’s really just someone else’s piece of soul logged inside of him.​

Alistair also suffers from volatile breakdowns and feels unable to really fix that, due to how deep-rooted it is, his developing of especially low-functioning sociopathy un-helping as he can slowly feel himself care less and less about the environment and consequences, and more so about the people. Something he constantly worries about, just as well - and so, hopes to be able to come to a side on whether it's for the better or not. So most of his interactions are divided into either seeing a chipper young fellow or someone attempting murder on their sibling.​

{ ✠ } Relationship wise || third paragraph.

Alistair has this bad habit of attempting to please his friends because he feels like has failed them by being unable to come to terms with his depression. Not that he’s fixing it by still being unable to confront his own issues right now, and just faking that he did! And so, Alistair has this feeling that most of his friends barely tolerate him, let alone like him. Therefore, he tries to change that - and instead of asking he just continues to go along with it. He still requires people around him to feel any sort of comfort, as he feels a bit awkward when he’s alone, and by awkward I mean nervous and paranoid.​

{ ✠ } Morality || fourth paragraph.

Alistair takes his place in the world as Neutral evil, mostly because of his apathy towards the thought of taking another person’s life because he has in fact, killed eleven people. Though he wants to deny it, he sort of tries to play it off as that they had it coming or that he’s justified in some sort of sense that’s beyond what legal laws state. Therefore, believing that his own feelings at the time can maybe, just maybe, overcome what state laws says.But, in the long run - if asked about it from an outsider's view - it's actually rather.. Black and white. Alistair, if he looks close enough into his actions, the creeds of Unionism have been carved so deeply into his mind that he subconsciously follows it's rules.

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Pugilism.​

Since due to Alistair's desperation from distraction from guilt - he's trying to get up the levels more quicker; with that, he forces himself to practice things similar to kickboxing and just general boxing. Really does some good workout, right?

Coordination.​

This happens when you go to lessons literally meant for teaching not only general combat skill but how to coordinate with others during combat and generally teamwork. While he's pretty much the most unlikely person willing to cooperate with others - he's at least good at understanding orders and what kind of strategies usually imply for him to do - not that he is actually good at making his own plans himself, besides basic procedures.

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Prosopagnosia.​

Unable to remember what his own face looks like, unless directly in front of a mirror, it’s worse for those around him as well. This includes family members and friends alike, along with causing him to deeply distrust those around him - even if they are close friends or not. It also causes him insecurity on the topic of if he’s in the right body, or not. A thought that he often pushes to the back of his mind.

➤ Everytime Alistair meets someone a second time or more, I will /roll from 1 - 80 to see if he recognizes them, if it lands below 50, he will be unable to recognize them. If they have any sort of significant feature besides their face - ( Horns, Mutations, Hair color ) , it will be from 40 - 80.

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• Born to Llu’ciare Auylie’essen and Alraesonynn Deceres as a legitimized bastard, born in Regalia.
• Taken into Llu'ciare's care afterwards, being his mother.

Childhood.

• Raised in a chaotic environment, nothing completely stable. Thus, causing him to enjoy being outside of his home within the city.
• Alistair was encouraged by his mother, Llu'ciare, to take up acts of thievery, and so -- often had him practice such acts.
• Alistair, due to such practices, comes to dislike the guards and authority due to clashing with them.
• Alistair becomes a rude individual by a young age, due to these repeating experiences. He takes joy from bullying other children his age.
• Due to his Prosopagnosia, he is more than often unable to recognize Llu’ciare as his mother, and causes him to be extremely hostile to her on a nearly daily basis for being both unidentifiable and in his house, until educated otherwise in these situations.
• Alistair realizes he is unable to recognize himself in front of a mirror, while believing that, due to his young age, may just be normal - it causes him to feel unsettled in front of a reflection.

Adolesence.

• It’s been established that Alistair should attempt to be able to recognize his own parent, and so, he is forced to try.
• While on a street, incorrectly identifies another woman as his mother, in his attempt to do so. And ends up following her home until the woman notices the young boy in her house.
• After learning of his homely situation, took him in for like a week before Alistair leaves to get to his actual home.
• This friendship lead to the woman, known as Sajo’cosedelass’ajosas, or rather known as simply Sajo, teaching Alistair lessons originating from the Tenpenny school, actively becoming his tutor in general combat knowledge. Alistair does not address this to his mother.
• With that, Alistair began to try and work out more often - even interfering with his schedual of theiving from others. Mostly in an attempt to impress the woman, and hopefully keep himself on point for the actual combat training he recieves.
• Seeing an advantage to this, Alistair began leaving the house more -- also purposely tanning his skin during muscle-building to differate himself from others.

Teenage Years.

• Alistair meets his father’s side of the family.
• Due to the similar gene pool, all of them have the same blue eyes and dark black hair. Because of his prosopagnosia, Alistair is unable to tell who from who. Therefore, he becomes frightened by this discovery.
• Afterwards, he begins questioning his disability and himself in private, if it were truly just some sort of inconvenient quirk or if it means something more.
• He is unable to come to the conclusion of it being an uncommon trait - instead worries about his mortality, in belief that maybe he may be in the incorrect physical form.
• After weeks of self-questioning, Alistair comes to believe that his body’s “correct owner” may come to take it back. He regards this as silly, but he believes in it anyways due to the lack of any other conclusion.
• Besides that troubling time, he continues to be a shallow man regardless. Alistair becomes obsessed with gaining praise for his actions, and entertainment.
• Alistair attempts to court Sajo, though -- is thoroughly rejected. rip
• Alistair burns down Sajo's house, causing her to ban him from ever being close to her again - sending him off with a bitter note.
• To distract himself from the fact that he literally burnt down the house of his crush, he began to devote time into using her teachings in some sort of way of irony - to do things. Usually stuff like running or jumping - of which would usually bring muscle his way. This training leads to Nynn becoming more involved in his life by having his Sellsword pals train him in Blackmark, at the age of Seventeen. This training continues to the present.
• He slowly becomes a manipulative half-Avanthar, wanting others to do something for him to watch out of boredom, due to the thrill of pick-pocketing becoming old. If not, do something himself.

Present.

• Alistair turns twenty.
• Alistair meets a bunch of people - including Dana Barrera, Mae and Shiori Draylas, Tullio Kearney, and Djanira Acosta.
• He becomes a fan of joining multiple organizations - the Broken Standard, the Proconsul Companions, and whatnot. He felt better in powerful groups, feeling as if he could develop some of his own there.
• Due to his house burning down, he is forced to stay with a friend.
• While those usually went defunct, he went and joined the OARS, the Office of Arcane Regulation and Safety in hopes of joining most of his friends in ghost hunting, ghost busting, and mage busting -- only to get tortured after a bad first day.
• He's caused the death of at least eleven people -- all of which, he hopes, are justifiable, while in the Devout Few.
• After moving out, he now resides in the Vampire District, for houses with complete walls, and all of the cheap price ranges the regular slums have.
• Alistair trades his soul for his happiness back, ending with his eternal obedience towards the Devout Few and pieces of the souls of other people's lodged into his soul.
• Much, much later afterwards, his sister, Araidith, had caused him an injury on his head - a concussion. He later seeked out Djanira, a light mage, in hopes of having it healed. And so, he did. But because of a mistake, he turned his head while the spell was on-going. This caused the entire back of his skull to painfully tear open. It was quickly healed again by the same light mage.
• Alistair had gotten temporarily infected with vampirism, and then cured. ( In attempt to replace the Witchblood version with a more mundane explanation. )

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Cropped edits.
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{ Personality. }

Spoiler: Writer's cut: A

Spoiler: second rewrite

{ ✠ } Outsider's glance || first paragraph.

Alistair comes off as introverted, and skirmish. While to some, he may appear as a hesitant young man, obediently obeying others who so command him, and easily giving into peer pressure about. He comes off as kind, and most definitely shy. Though, often breaks out of his quiet shell to speak to others through no malicious reason to, but out of pure boredom. While others may be aware of his former self, the change in him is as if another person had switched bodies with him. On the other hand, vampires that live in the slums meant for them may see something different. Something resembling a sociopathic Avanthar, using their red eyes as an excuse to violently beat them, for little to no reason. While the separation between the two outer appearances say segregated - the side that shines off the most is the quiet, dysfunctional twenty year old male.

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{ ✠ } Inner view || second paragraph.

If you think the man has changed nearly entirely - you’d be correct, with a few twists and turns. Alistair was unknowingly born with Prosopagnosia, in which he is unable to recognize even his own face. This identity fracture causes his to be wary of those who looks similar to him, constantly worried that maybe his face didn’t belong to him - but to someone else. And he’s terrified of the thought that one day he’ll have to meet his ‘double.’ This will often lead him to automatic distrust to those around him, knowing well that this inability will cause him harm whenever it may be, though, can easily be overpowered mentally if someone so desires - having given into his fear and simply puts up with it, as a last stance of strength. Alistair, however, is still afflicted with anxiety around large crowds as the chances of being able to find someone he knows in a sea of people is horrifically low, a chance he doesn’t want to take.The Avanthar often dazes around - confused, usually when he’s left without conversation, or simply alone. His attention drifts to whatever catches his eye. While it makes making friends ever so hard, he feels no choice but to deal with it - faced with the cruel reality that he’s not going to be able to just make friends with outstanding individuals, or so he wishes to. Alistair, in his current state, finds pride in his appearance, but not so much with his identity as himself - looking at himself in the mirror will more then often lead to a form of dissociation, due to all that’s happened, leaving his mind fragile. While Alistair still feels the drive to become a better figure - in anything - then his mother, he feels like no matter what he was born with, he would never be able to achieve something anything similar to what his parents have already done. But - still believes there's a hope, and until he finds himself in a better position, has to wait for opportunity to come around his door for it instead. Though, his defiled optimism still stands strong - believing that no matter what he does - he’s justified. And he won’t have to suffer for long, whether what the end to how it’ll end will be.​

Due to inconvenient events, Alistair has been traumatized for possibly his entire lifetime after a good long while of torture. Leading to him becoming more distant from others, often drifting away from conversation to dive into his own private thoughts about himself. On the topic of himself, he can tell that he’s not particularly sane anymore - and.. Feels uncomfortably fine with the thought. As he was growing up, it wasn’t something that really surprised him. However, wants to feel that sense of worry - or at least some motivation he could take to fix it. The former thief feels a wonderful rush when he bashes someone’s shoulder with a flanged mace - a feeling that came from a job needing to be done when needed; to some sort of motivation to continue attempting to heal. As his own ideas show that he cannot - under no circumstance, can he be weak in public. Therefore, uses most of any excuse he can find to show off his physical prowess. In these moments, using violence as a means to let his bottled up emotions flow before or after the cap of it lifts off into space. The Avanthar feels that the more he acts like how he assumed that his usual self will act, then he’ll heal and return to normal. However, what he believes he would usually do does not amount to what he truly would.​

The young man has become disappointing to himself in a way - now too frightened to do any great feats for himself or for others. Only his self-esteem that only lowers by the second. When he can, however, he will most often only obtain some sense of pride by beating down those that society in general consider to be lower than dirt. Besides the obvious few who he enjoys. As to why he listens to the words of society’s and a simple set of creeds more than himself is because he fears his own words. As how his sanity and morals are now, extremely questionable, Alistair has developed issues about it, and whether or not the things he says really are things that he should be doing to survive. Not only that, but due to past experiences, while he denies any influence Unionism has had on him, he unconsciously follows it’s rules, becoming insecure when what a creed says is stronger than what he feels. Alistair, to combat this insecurity, puts his public feelings on top. Rather than having to worry whether or not his actions somehow line up with the creeds, he’d rather just close his eyes and follow what he feels - with absolutely, no mind to logical decision making. Therefore, making it rather dangerous, believing how feelings may beat facts, about any day. To this day, ironically, he still has a very volatile phobia of religious figures, and Unionism in general. Often attempting to stay away from Unionist churches with all his might.​

With new things come changes within his internal workings - it doesn't take long to notice that the man has issues larger then life itself. He had began to lock himself up in his house for days at a time, fully believing that the doppelgänger that he so fears has finally tracked him down, a knife ready to make the former sellsword a skin suit. He hopes that the strength and allies he has acquired would be good enough - though, unsatisfied with just that. With his new sense of personality - he has a worry that this imaginary being will develop to become him, but even better. Therefore, another reason - out of fear, and the illusionary will to live, he has forced himself to attempt to heal faster, often because while he finds his strength reliable, people are not. Therefore, he would like to be on the safe side of life in general, and keep pretending that his downwards spiral of emotions is completely part of his master plan.​

Unaware to him, this doppelgänger that only shows up in the corner of his eye, is but a mere delusion, a trick of his mind. Alistair does not realize it - though his unhealthy mental and emotional instability leads him away from the truth - that he's just a paranoiac. Alistair has been introduced into the least of mundane lives. Introduced to stealing and criminal activities at a young age by his mother, he had no suitable role model to look up to besides her. This lead to Alistair ending up to be incoherent and useless in certain situations that include having to work things out peacefully. His volatile and destructive nature causes negotiations to go out of hand, and new emotions will make him go out of his way to do unnecessary damage because he does not know how to deal with them otherwise. One of the newer things he has developed, however, is how to attach himself to someone, like the clingy man he is.​

{ ✠ } Relationship wise || Third paragraph.

While Alistair more than often would not be sparing his family members, he feels as if he’s forced to do so. While his relationship with his parents have been vague and distant - them both being often away with him, his sibling relationships have become maybe a bit more developed. As they’re around more often, and understandable. While he still feels uncomfortable about their appearance and how they often look like inanimate objects in his horrible memory, he still wishes some of them were just born with bright brown hair, or something else. However, this doesn’t stop him from feeling anything true for most of them, generated by pity and general tolerance that he deals with any of them. While the return of his mother has left him feeling surprised and unsure of what to do with the chance to finally fix things, he wants to keep holding grudges against his family as if it would help him, and feels as if he could retain maybe just some pride if he does so. The exception to this is Jessamyn, who, in his eyes, are the purest beings on Aloria, with maybe just some issues. Just like him, nothing worse.

Alistair has actually found it in himself to begin interacting with regular people - though, often forgetting them, or who the are, the second they leave his sight. With that, has completely stopped caring about who he mistakes, seeing as how he’s justified in that - it is an issue for him too, no reason to get mad over it. While he believes that it’s the case, he also still has some standards to keep up to. Which is to not interact with most things furry, or abnormal.

For any friends he makes, he worries about -- a lot. He’s not all that confident in them, now that he’s lost his manipulative touch. He believes that most of them only tolerate him, much like himself towards his own family -- though is still too anxious to confront them about this, feeling as if their hatred for him will only deepen if he assumes that they hate him outright. But this sort of things often makes him waste more time trying to sleep, instead of doing something more productive, like actually sleeping. Therefore, he puts his time to use by deciding to stalk the people he cares about - it’s not an obsession just yet, but he’s still willing to kidnap a few of them if it meant that he won’t be left alone by any. While he knows that’s a horrible idea to do, - it’s still a considerable thought in his mind.

But when unable to - he simply ‘falls’ for peer pressure for the approval of others. Blowing money on buying strangers drinks to pretend to be his friend has become a welcomed past time of his. Willing to degrade himself for their sake just to not end up alone - of course, he had to leave shame and dignity at the door. Good thing he already did, then!
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{ ✠ } Morality || Fourth paragraph.

Alistair takes his place in the world as Chaotic Neutral, as he doesn’t particularly indulge enough into ‘evil’ things, though does cause him to be on the border of Chaotic Evil as well, as much as he tends to deny it. However, he does take notice of the corruption of others around him when it's painfully in front of him. And so, often attempts to take advantage of it for his own use. However, Alistair believes himself to be completely justified when confronted with his own actions - seeing as how he grew up - sees it as a necessary thing to do all the things he does if he wants to be able to survive. And so, he is rarely able to pin the blame directly onto himself, instead attempting to look for a distraction.


Alistair, if he looks close enough into his actions, the creeds of Unionism have been carved so deeply into his mind that he subconsciously follows it's rules. As proven time and yet time again, that violence is the best course of action when dealing with someone. Not only does it let him blow off steam over his own problems - but it gets people to listen to him, for once, and it gets people to get him to listen, as proven. While he does slightly crave that sweet, eternal sleep called death and get some shut eye, he doesn't want to suffer what's beyond, or be rolled into whatever ditch he gets murdered in. He's simply afraid of the concept of death, and what lies beyond the afterlife, and doesn't feel like trying it out, as good as it seem.
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{ ✠ } World-view || Fifth paragraph.

Alistair sees the staircase of ranks as something he feels everyone should be trying to climb at one point of their life, except for himself.- He feels that in the grand scheme of things, that entire flight is something that, just by moving up the steps, can change something more drastic in the empire. While he does want entertainment and fulfillment in life, he does not want to participate head-on at the moment as he feels that he’s probably going to be knocked down more easily than he would say out loud. However, he wants any sort of help in life, he should try attempting the way up in any sort of way he could possibly figure out. For now, he is fine being at least a few steps away from poverty in his life.

Alistair tends to be fickle in terms of religion due to his avoidance of staying too long in a certain religion - especially when it becomes too much of a bother, or becomes too boring and pointless for him to stay in. He’s easy to convert, yes, but it takes hard work to make him actually continue the practice. However, due to his lack of hope these days, he finds religion as a valuable option to consider. Because it might give him hope in whatever lies beyond death, and what hope there is for living. However, he'd rather stick to what he could actually do without having to participate in events and possibly embarrass himself. Considering who his father is, he wants to stay away from religion as possible as to avoid any conflict. However, while he does not see the Arken as the worshipped gods they are, he much rather sees them as some sort of famous figure, that he just so happens to be related to. And so, fantasizes about meeting them, more often then not. Usually when he's feeling not-so-bad, but not so good either.

As for his privilege, he is aware that it is basically non-existent within the state, being both a Nelfin and many more unsightful things - he knows he was not supposed to be born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Though, he plans on getting somewhere in life - He feels that he's barely anyone to look into, and not anyone interesting in particular on the surface. While he believes that it is in his family tree that he can probably get anywhere if he tried hard enough, he's unconfident now in that world view. Once again, seeing the world as a lot more harsher the he formerly did.​

Spoiler: third rewrite

{ ✠ } Outsider's glance || first paragraph.
If anyone who’ve known him before could had noted - the change in his personality was drastic, sudden and irreversible to him. Now nearly all are aware of the young man as a chipper young Nelfin, a large smile upon his face as he embraced life more than ever before. Beaming with alacrity, it seems difficult to ever see him waver in any sort of unfortunate situation. It’s either his boastful - varying to regularly excited to brazenly impudent - or his ways of being rather cruel to those he finds no worth in himself. Of which, isn’t as often, as it seems he attempts to please all.

{ ✠ } Inner view || second paragraph.
If you think the man has changed nearly entirely once again, you’re absolutely right. With the exchange for his happiness comes with a price - his obedience had been sold to a gang and a cabalistic Silven. His animated nature comes with all sense of the word, along with an impeccable obedience to both figures in his life -- along with few others who he holds close. Not only is he easier to manipulate by this fact alone, his Prosopagnosia, hadn’t gotten any better in the past months. The fear of someone taking his skin hasn’t been amplified in any way. In fact, he looks forward to hunting down his own delusions should they bother him. However, they will creep back into his mind once his happiness is diluted by any sort of situation. The threat of a doppelganger after him has only diluted slightly, though eh still feels extremely uncomfortable to be seen in front of the mirror, of which will still remind him of his insecurities and moral flaws. Especially when revealed to his own scars. With that, he often attempts to avoid mirrors, and if he’s forced in front of his reflection, he’d rather simply just break it, instead of going through any sort of self-reflection, wanting to avoid the whole conflict of the doppelganger issue.He’d rather take on his issues on his own, specifically the one with his double delusion. This often causes him to not speak of it, in fear of being decried by someone. He’d rather not be called insane, especially about such a subject that’s been haunting for such a long, long time. Alistair will, though, take advice. But the delusional Nelfin would rather take complacency, and instead allow it to go on without him doing anything to stop it. Doesn’t want to make the problem worse, after all. That’d be.. Really, really bad, in his case.

Alistair, against his own wishes, attempts to adjust himself to crowds by blatantly throwing himself into them in hopes that like his personality, that it will fix him once more in an unconventional way. Of course, this doesn’t help quite as much, as the blurs of faces often end up with less desirable conclusions, and so it ends with him being unable to stand for long within crowds. Though, attempts to split people away in hopes that they’ll pay more attention to himself, rather than other people around him. Since his confidence boost, he feels the need to hide who he was once - and still technically is. A sort of re-animated broken shell. This often makes him more picky for those who he saves for later, and often attempts to get closer to in hopes of acquiring a friendship with them, no matter the person.

Over time, it could be noted that the Nelfin had become a people-pleaser with an insatiable appetite for attention and caring views. It had never quite sprouted until now, and had therefore become apart of him. Leading to Alistair’s jubilant escapades in hope that someone finds interest in him. This is to protect himself from the worry that something might take such a precious feeling - loss for such a long time - right back into the clutches of the void. In hopes of avoiding conflict and possibly another torture, he often succumbs to peer pressure quickly. And more then often, attempts to keep his words to himself. He’s more afraid of the future and the world and the possibilities that may come to him now, and wants to avoid the future where he suffers anymore longer. Alistair also, therefore attempts to overlook the flaws of others - while at other times quickly snapping at people who he knows will snap back to him, such as sibling relationships. He feels the need to abuse those he already knows are unable to leave him in sort of delight of regained power. Albeit it has never been in the healthiest sense, since forever.

While he does attempt to look for individuals to talk too - he has regained a slightly high standard, for it should be someone he could remember. Though, if not, then it mostly doesn’t matter - because he usually doesn’t expect to be able to talk to them again, similar to a one night stand. Due to this, he doesn’t quite feel a connection to the people he talks about, not actually interested in the topics or who they might be - no matter the amount of conversations had because of how easily he can accept that once they’re gone from sight, he’s not going to remember anything about them. With that, he has a weird tendency to just blurt whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Often not taking people seriously in all sense of the word -- though in such a way that it’s more subtle than noticeable. As for why it’s subtle and not just insults thrown about, is also because of his self-pressuring to please people around him. Once again, to avoid outcomes that he doesn’t want to go through again, and he’s still rather desperate for it. For whatever way he acts towards strangers, he finds himself to be justified. Though, Alistair has problems mentioning his survival, as most things he has done recently are spurred from impulsive activities, and not so much in a life or death situation.

But, not really. It’s moreso that it simply doesn’t come to mind anymore - and only masking it with the term ‘justified’ to hide the fact that he just doesn’t care about it. He could stab a few people and claim it was, because he’s a bit worried of coming off as a sociopathic maniac that he probably is, considering how.. Empty most of the things in front of his tend to come off, nowadays. He currently owns a certain disregard to the actual laws and rules of Regalia, finding himself confident that whatever punishment he’s put through - even though it might traumatize him, he’ll be able to just go through with it anyways. It’s been like that for the most of circumstances he’s been through, ending with his survival. And even more recently, the death of the instigator the very next day! It’s given him this internal sense that he just.. Doesn’t die, or something like that. Though, Alistair is aware that the view of being somehow immortal is incorrect, but doesn’t have anything else to really explain it besides it’s just his narcissism breaching his conscious once more. Though, he’d like to test the theory by doing dangerous and immoral things! Not only for the thrill-seeking child he is, but also to see if he just died and it’ll end everything. Though, unsure of what happens beyond death, not that he wants to see it, only in the worst of moods he’s feeling is when he’ll really try doing death-defying stunts for fun.

Alistair, however. Feels an empty sense of happiness. And influenced from his more cynical view on reality - it’s a bit harder for him to see the actual good in life, and so, doesn’t feel like he’s actually happy over most things. Seeing fun activities more as.. Pointless activities that he still has to indulge in because he wants to return back to his careless, happy self! Therefore, he plans on faking his attention such events and fun until it really makes him happy, unsure of what else to do besides it. This is also related to his people-pleasing mindset, of which he has to act in such a way that doesn’t alert people, and doesn’t drive them away. Due to his own expectations on being able to hold conversation for a while and generally just enjoy banter whenever. It also helps distract him from whatever he happens to be dealing with - like his strange disregard for human life due to his slightly recent killing spree, and a sense of disconnect around those he speaks with. This also causes him to be even more easily irritable, often snapping at others recklessly. Even the slightest things could tick him off if it would bother him just enough - though could never fully explode, but will rather express his frustration at others if he feels like he doesn’t care enough to keep it all inside.

While the Unionist creeds and his Theophobia, he doesn’t accept that he still unconsciously follows any sort of them, though it was still drilled into his brain, it isn’t look like it is going to let go of it. As much as he attempts to avoid the subject of Unionism or the like, even willing to lie about what he feels about it to just get it out of the way. Though, he’s become a bit more loose with what those creeds state, with the more general parts of it. Though, he ends up come up in mind when he questions his morality, which, while barely ever happens, still would remain buried in his ego. But yes, still a zealous believer that if he did try, yes, something will change based on how much he’s feeling he can do it -- but he’s just not sure whether it would really work in his favor, or if it will hurt him even further. Alistair does worry what sort of things his regular way of thinking will get him into, and so while he does generally just follow what he thinks is right, he’s more reluctant to try and do things he believes will be better, whether they would actually work or not.

With new things come changes within his internal workings - it doesn't take long to notice that the man has issues larger then life itself. While he doesn't quite panic and lock himself up as he formerly did, he's taken a liking to trying to hunt down the thing that keeps haunting his dreams, and generally causing him discomfort in his own body. Even to the point where he'd really try sticking a few glass shards into non-lethal parts of his body just to spite whoever might be tracking him down for his reanimated body. While he continues to not realize that this is only a delusion that's still believable to him, he doesn't enjoy wanting to look further into it. He doesn't want to come to the conclusion that it's just himself causing his own problems because it's so much more easier to put it on someone else and then deal with it. Therefore causing the denial of it being fake, although he's becoming closer and closer to seeing how it would be fake.

And one of the most threatening topics of all would be how worried he is for his own soul. He's not sure how magic works, but seeing as he has this strange, unbreakable obedience to a certain gang, Alistair is pretty convinced that he had just sold his soul to reanimate his broken personality into one that everyone sees as chipper. Though, he'd been believing that such a thing to happen was really just some sort of miracle. As the spell placed on him had.. Literally cured his depression by implanting the pride of a knight and one sense of valor to suit him as well. Alistair, feels an uncanny confidence, though he has begun to slightly regret it as the topic of how he had literally sold his soul is more then often brought up in conversations and topics, no matter how many times he ask for silence. While this loyalty, is easily manipulable, as shown by a certain Slizzar and their natural hex, Alistair finds himself very much so in debt. In the sort of debt that he literally cannot repay or return because he doesn't have anything that he can return. He also worries for the ingenuity of what he feels, since the moment he revealed this dramatic change, it's been taken into note about how real it really is. If taken away, what would he do next? Since he still, for one, doesn't enjoy showing any sort of inner-core tier emotions to anyone outside of his personal circle, he needed this. And so, wasn't allowed to let himself heal naturally, instead of having a supernatural implant into his soul.

Unaware to him, this doppelgänger that only shows up in the corner of his eye, is but a mere delusion, a trick of his mind. Alistair does not realize it - though his unhealthy mental and emotional instability leads him away from the truth - that he's just a paranoiac. Alistair has been introduced into the least of mundane lives. Introduced to stealing and criminal activities at a young age by his mother, he had no suitable role model to look up to besides her. This lead to Alistair ending up to be incoherent and useless in certain situations that include having to work things out peacefully. His volatile and destructive nature causes negotiations to go out of hand, and new emotions will make him go out of his way to do unnecessary damage because he does not know how to deal with them otherwise.

Though, in an attempt to deal with them - one of the things he has adjusted to is how to please people around him by just attempting to be chipper and cheering them up via excitement or otherwise. Though he is feeling a lot more better, he's not very sure how long he can really fake being this happy.

{ ✠ } Relationship wise || Third paragraph.
While some family members may still get treated harshly, he only really bothers them should he be completely pissed off at them. Alistair still feels uncomfortable about their appearance and how they often look like inanimate objects in his horrible memory, he still wishes some of them were just born with bright brown hair, or something else. However, this doesn’t stop him from feeling anything true for most of them, generated by pity and general tolerance that he deals with any of them. However, what there is to fix is far to big of a problem for him to really care about fixing - as he had believed he had been fine with his dysfunctional relationship with his mother. His apathy is given most over any other emotion he feels for them, besides some friendly interactions. But those're considered mandatory, so he doesn't really count that. So while the return of his mother has left him feeling surprised and unsure of what to do with the chance to finally fix things. Jessamyn, who he considered the purest woman on the face of the planet, he's been feeling more doubtful about that statement, but still says its because of her issues that 'everyone has.'

Alistair finds himself to be rather social with those around him, hoping to take them in as close friends into his personal circle in hopes that the more people who enjoy his presence around him will gladly outnumber the amount of people who he assumes do. That, and for safety measures, for he does not want to be caught by someone in a dark alleyways nothing worse. He attempts to find loopholes to his face blindness, of which none have succeeded thus far at all. Though, still hopes to one day be able to be rid of himself of the terrible memory that he abhors. Alistair, though, will however avoid furry creatures and those with just inhuman features like the plague, unwanting to associate with them in fear that if he attempts to do so, he'll be decried for such friendships. Even though they're easily distinct and easy to find compared to most of the City. Not to mention his own prejudice against the races keeping him at bay from interacting with any.

The Nelfin's views on his friends have not changed much, either. As he still fully believes that they would hate him for whatever reason that they do. Considering in the past how he had sold his soul, much to the disproval to literally everyone else around him, he's much more so cautious around his friends. Although it only seems like he's more carefree, he is more careful about what he says towards his friends, and so - arrogance expects them to be able to do the same thing back. As.. It really isn't hard. Though, as to those who he does end up having an issue against, maybe from a mutter under a breath or a really, really bad sentence. It sends AListair into a fit of possible violence, since he is still unable to find the right words to say things and express it, he has to emote it through anger. Since he assumes it is the only way that people really are able to understand him. He feels that he's been yet to be proven wrong about his fractious theory, and so, is in complete support of it, his apathy really not helping the case here. It only takes maybe an hour or two for him to end up apologizing, however. The whole need to please people coming right around.

Another problem with having his soul been sold is because his soul is still there. But has a few new pieces from the bodies of others! Therefore, his loyalty had maximized to obsequious obedience, leading to blindly following other's commands of the people he trusts, though is still unable to cancel requests asked of him by a gang. Even to the point where he's unable to put his own opinion forward beforehand. He just has to.

{ ✠ } Morality || Fourth paragraph.
Alistair can tell that he's changed a lot, now accepting that he probably is somewhere in the 'evil' category. Though, remains neutral, never going out of his way to actually cause chaos around him, besides for good fun. Though, with his trips into the slums leading to his killstreak of at least eleven people, he's now a lot more adjusted to the idea of killing people. And most of the hesitance to do so is just as gone as well, though he isn't that far gone as to do it on a daily basis. No, he'd rather have some sort of good reason or have a volatile breakdown beforehand to be able to 'justify' it as well. Though, doesn't really need to find a reason to justify himself if he doesn't feel like he does. Since, he believes that as long as he had a situation where he felt that it was necessary, nothing else really applies. He simplistically halves the people he should and shouldn't like into black and white. While he is aware that this is blurred - and can be easily put into disarray, he uses this as simple organizing, as to separate himself from those he doesn't trust.

Alistair, if he looks close enough into his actions, the creeds of Unionism have been carved so deeply into his mind that he subconsciously follows it's rules. As proven time and yet time again, that violence is the best course of action when dealing with someone. Not only does it let him blow off steam over his own problems - but it gets people to listen to him, for once, and it gets people to get him to listen, as proven. While he does slightly crave that sweet, eternal sleep called death and get some shut eye, he doesn't want to suffer what's beyond, or be rolled into whatever ditch he gets murdered in. He's simply afraid of the concept of death, and what lies beyond the afterlife, and doesn't feel like trying it out, as good as it seem.

WIP!​

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{ Life Chronicles. }

Spoiler: Writer's cut: B

tba
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also reserved

 

BUMPS.

 

First, second, fourth and fifth are edited! as for the third part im gonna have to ask arrogantus hold up

 

Now it should be fixed! Yeah I'm on mobile so I can't highlight it in red

 

@Rochelle_ is it too early for a re-review

 

@Rochelle_ I lost my tag but at the same time I added a few new things to the inner self paragraph thaT NOW MAKES IT 7 PARAGRAPHS LONG.

 

hi i did aesthetics and now someone gotta give me back my tag

 

@Rochelle_ whats up i did a complete rewrite of alistair's personality

i hope you like reading ily

 

can do my guy. As soon as I get home. Bolding anyways

 

didly done both

 

is it too early to ask for another review because Something Happened Again

im sorry rochelle i love you

 

Well a really significant soul magic thing happened that had caused Alistair's personality to literally do a 180, but i can use a week or something to really let everything get settled before doing another review. but nothing to do with combat though.

 

@Rochelle_ hey its been a while (dont worry all the personality paragraphs this time are only a paragraph long)

 

thank u for bearing with me this whole time,,

 

@Rochelle_ i love you

 

@Rochelle_ pretty sure i told you but ill be removing the witchblood aspect from alistair, since because of the actual combination it,,, hasnt particularly lead to the best roleplays ive have with it being the main point of it.

 

i updated his name since he changed his last name a while back

 

@Rochelle_ i just wanted to change the aesthetic and everything's glitching and i had to take out the entire expansion for b because it kept putting everything in the app into a spoiler