╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ 〘 The Beetles - Blackbird | Art | Pinterest | Tom Petty - Mary Jane's Last Dance 〙 ╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ ╘════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╛ ╠ ⋅ Quote⋅ ╣ "The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche ╒══════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《══════════════╕ ╠ ⋅ Basic Information⋅ ╣ Birth Name: Kal’iuesta’adrieant’de’allamo Hellorávanath Chosen Name: "Kai'liuestá Hellorávanath" Nick Names: 'Kai', Ki, Kal, Kal'iuesta. Spoiler: Etymology English Translation: Burning flame will explode from his soul with passion and pain. With pain, comes chaos. With order there is serenity and discipline. With order, it brings potential to defy the path set by his forefather Spanish Translation: Una llama ardiente explotará de su alma con pasión y dolor. Con el dolor, viene el caos. Con orden hay serenidad y disciplina. Con orden, trae el potencial de desafiar el camino establecido por su antepasado. Full Elven Name: Kal’iuesta, Un’lammo’adrieant’de’allamo’con’passiono’dol Co’l’do’or’vieve’caos. Co’odren’ay’seridad’displicia Co’Odre’ay’sernidad’displicia. Co’odren’trae’ll’potencial’d’desafirea’ll’camanio’establacioso’ot’suy’atepasado Shortened Elven: Kal’iuesta’adrieant’de’allamo’con’passiono’do Shortened Prose: Kal’iuesta Adri’paesiano Age: 25 Gender: Male Race: Altalar Subrace: Fin’ullen Martime Sexuality: Heterosexual ╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ ╘════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╛ ╠ ⋅ Skill Information⋅ ╣ Total Points: Kai'liuestá has 30 Points. Core Proficiency Group: 22 Invested +10 Fist Combat Skill (10 Invested) +5 Dagger Combat Skill (2 Invested) +5 Medical Science (5 Invested) +3 Linguistic Science Skill (3 Invested) +3 Sorcery Investment (3 Invested) Talent Proficiency Group: 5 Invested +10 Strength Training (+5 Free from Fin'ullen Altalar Half-Race, 5 Invested) Hobby Proficiency Group: 10 Invested - 5 Free +5 Drawing Art Skill +5 Architecture Art Skill Body Shape: Body Build: Ripped Body Build Math: 10+5+10= 25 Body stat Body Fat: Average Body Fat Languages: Wa’an - From Linguistics Common - Free Modern Altalar - Mother Tongue Sorcery Spells: 2 School: Spirit Sorcery Spells: One Path Self Control Werebeast Fusions: Status: Not Infected Wisdom of Raprann Sharpsight Of The Hawk Poise of the Heron Song of the Glorybird ╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ ╘════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╛ ╠ ⋅ Visual Information⋅ ╣ Eye Color: Dark Blue Hair Color: Raven Black Hair Style: Midlength Skin Color: Fair Paled Clothing: Arm coverings. shoulder capes etc. Height: 5 Feet 11 in ╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ ╘════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╛ ╠ ⋅ Personality ⋅ ╣ Personality Prototype: INTP-A Logician Moral Alignment: Truly Neutral Religion: Dragon Dogma [ 5/10 ] ╒════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╕ ╘════════════════════》〘 ⋅⛥⋅ 〙《════════════════════╛ ╠ ⋅ Life Story⋅ ╣ 《》☼Birth ☽《》Kal’iuesta’adrieant’de’allamo Hellorávanath was born in the winter months of 273 AC, to Daequis Helvath and a fleeting Altalar Arken in a relatively middle class home, with older siblings to boot. 《》☽Childhood☼《》 Kai'liuestá grew up as a young child with little excitement and diversity. He often would sit at the beach for hours and watch the waves roll, often skipping rocks down the beachside. Kai'liuestá found his outdoors love in his young childhood, and grew his rather introverted personality from here. 《》☽Teenage Years☼《》 The young halfling found common infatuation with the Arcane, the ideas of how the essences behaved and worked bewildered the young mind, however it would pique his interest undoubtedly. Kai'liuestá would seek out arcane apprenticeship from a group of mages within Daen. As he used any earnings to spend towards his fueled curiosity in magic, and history. He ventured to explore the world, accruing what coin he could to venture off to view ruins with scholar partners. Going to study cultures like the Altalar in Daen. He became enthralled with spreading and gaining knowledge. Kai'liuestá eventually joined the group of gentleman retaining his quick temper he would sometime spur out of control. This lead to him at times, getting into trouble and spending days if not weeks in the villages jail cells, as a leaving father put the halfling out of control, and enabled his criminal like behavior to the end of the world. 《》☽Adulthood☼《》 As Kai'liuestá matured into adulthood he became more adventurous, and gained a bad case of wanderlust. There would be many nights in a week where Kai'liuestá wouldn’t return home for weeks, but would be found by his brother or grandfather passed out drunk or beaten on the floorboard. This was a low phase which his brash actions lead to a demise. He eventually left home, and ventured to Daenshore where he had met a strange Daen individual by the name Mateo, as his brother left for Regalia and Aloria when Kai'liuestá returned home, he would have no one but his grandfather. Kai'liuestá eventually grew bored of the islands nature. Eventually he set off like his brother to Regalia. There were better employment possibilities within Regalia then here with an inconsistent schedule of work and an unhappy job and best yet adventure. And to keep close to two very important people who played roles within his young adulthood. Meeting Ji-Yu Tao within the Old Town and honing his knowledge he gains two positions of income in guard work for House Peirgarten. And mercenary work for Mateo Silva. Additionally on a late night in November. A hellion courtier led Kamirah and Kai'liuestá into a friendship. As they bonded over stolen starris that was eventually sold to the Regalian Digmaan. Now somewhat of a wealthy well off commoner, Kai'liuestá returns to Old Town. Where he continues his practice as a street magician to pass the time. In latest times, Kai'liuestá has strayed from the city. And has joined up with another to create a gang full of 'rats' embracing the poor lifestyle. As he became the new proclaimed 'rat king'. After another fall from grace, Kai'liuestá returned to freelancing around Regalia. After such and another stint in vampirism and being cured. Kai'liuestá returned home once again, congregating to his family. And getting back to what he loved, reading. With recent events in the Archipelago Kai'liuestá recently returned to his sisters side. As he wishes to turn his life and rep from a troubled criminal one. To a teacher and a expert in his field and to push Sihai to a higher place in society. Ki was granted the immense honor of his worship to become that of a Dragon Warden by the Matron of the Glass Spire of the Imperial Dragon Faith, and seeks to further the Draconic Agenda, and continue to serve.
Here is my review: Skill Information Proficiency points are correct! You seem to have miscalculated your body shape. You have 37 points to spend in total, 10 of which have gone into Athletic Training. That means 27 of them are for Combat Proficiencies. By that logic, the calculation would be 27 + (10 x 2 ) = 47. This makes him a Strongman, not Athletic. Life Story No glaring issues, save for the eighth bullet point, in which you begin with ".. By the time he was, ". I think you've forgotten an age here! That's all from me, I believe. Make these changes in this orange, this brown, OR this red. Tag me when you've done so!
Yellow! First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to review my application. This I believe wouldn't the case, due to the halfling status, and both Isldar and Chi'en-ji being hardcapped at Athletic. It makes his body shape impossible to progress if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me on that. Corrected. @romeowo
Sorry, you’re right about that! My mistake. His physical stat would be 42 rather than 47, since I (in error) included his rogue training in the calculation. Please adjust this and tag me!
@romeowo Shuffled around 5 points from blades into perception training. Personality Paragraph one was redone to make the character more as envisioned as a con-man magician esc. Personality Paragraph four was redone to go along with the changes to job, and daily practice. All edits made in this color.
It seems mostly fine, but there are a number of grammar and spelling issues to correct in the first and fourth paragraphs that you've edited. The first paragraph has three sentences start with "One", for example. Try to iron out the issues, as there are only a handful. Other than that, I see nothing that requires significant reworking. Approved!
Big overhaul on Proficiency points to broaden my spectrum in-character. Also dropped body build a bit to correspond. Also Vampirism update! @apath
@apath Akeno has been cured! I left the mutations incase of future infection but they have a domant status. I removed the 20 points in history knowledge for this. And shifted the ten points lost into blades and athletic training.
Math checks out on my end, approved! if you’re wondering how i saw it so fast, you happened to catch me on one of the few times i actually had this tab open
@apath Big overhaul on proficiency now that parlor magic is out. Decided to hit that street magician niche hardcore to jam pack him full of spells that would entertain. Added spells into life story as well. Request of re-review.
@apath Did some big changes: Added Silvenism upon earliers acceptance for the permission Added Silven muters Added Vampire Status Added Vampire mutations (Allowed due to the blood muter I assume?) Redid proficiency points Removed Parlor Magic Requesting re-review
@apath Vampire status reactivated! Also upped his body build due to me not knowing half varran could be muscular. Also added points to unarmed from Slizzar bonding (Only when around Slizzar) and from Vampire traits. Unsure if this needs a re-review
Aged the character down, being 35 didn't fit the brash and lack of control of emotions, temper, and impulsiveness. Unsure if this needs rereview @apath Proficiency adjusted accordingly.
@apath shifted 4 points out of Arkenism with its removal from knowledge proficiency. And a spell that has yet to be determined.
@apath Huge changes: Shuffled proficiency points around, Changed race over to Estalar - Altalar/Sihai halfbreed Did some clean up stuff to represent change to Void Silvenism. Going to ask for a re-review.
