Preserved Sheet Afzal Abd Al-alqarasina Qayid Almuntakhab

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AnimalisticArts

The Lonley One
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Afzal Abd Al-Alqarasina Qayid Almuntakhab name.png
  • Full Name: Afzal Abd Al-Alqarasina Qayid Almuntakhab
  • Alias: Cassian McKormick
  • Age: 27
  • Race: Qadir
  • Gender: Male
  • Main Ambition: To gain wealth and shinies as well as to decorate himself with expensive things and invent new and better weapons.
  • Spoken Languages:
Faraddi, Native Language
Common, Fluent
Dwarvish, Well Versed
Modern Elvish, Well Versed
  • Skill: School of Bloodcast
  • Level: Warrior
  • Source: Attended the official school.
  • Skill: Discipline of Aloria, Discipline of Celestial Bodies
  • Level: Learned
  • Source: Mentored by father and first-mate
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  • Eye-Color: Chocolate Brown.
  • Hair-Color: Midnight Black.
  • Hairstyle: Spiked in the front with a small ponytail in the back held by a small gold ribbon.
  • Skintone: Dark Chocolate.
  • Body Build: Ripped.
  • Clothing Style: A leather jacket, sporting gold tassels on his shoulders, left open to show his stomach and chest with black pants ripped at one knee.
  • Height: 6'1"
  • Weapon of Choice: A crysteel sword with a crysteel kite shield, though also able to fight without a shield. Also carries a small dagger hidden beneath his clothes for emergencies when in Regalia.
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  • Afzal is seen as a calm man, enjoying quiet, but also being very competitive. He just can't refuse a challenge. He's not exceptionally kind or exceptionally rude either, he's sort of the middle ground, capable of doing both. He's well read and also enjoys practicing to perfect his cartography. He tends to keep his cool through tough situations, partly due to arrogance, though he tried to keep that hidden.
  • He is rather confident in his abilities and doesn't let his small amounts of fear show. He is sure to keep his thoughts within his mind and thinks quite logically, seeing the world for what it is. He prefers to silently observe the going on's and tends to avoid petty arguments and fights. He tries to ignore what others think of him and doesn't let it bother him. He could be called overconfident, though he never lets it show.
  • When with his friends and family Afzal's quiet attitude completely melts away and is replaced by love and kindness. He often jokes around with his family and friends and enjoys small competitions with them such as arm wrestling or other games. Afzal enjoys teaching his friends and family about Aloria, the stars, and cartography. He also enjoys to tell tales of his adventures at sea to his family and friends.
  • Afzal is rather corrupt in the sense that coins can be used to persuade him, if you get my drift. He attempts to hide it from the world, even though it's quite obvious once money or expensive items show up. He's otherwise a neutral person, capable of doing good and bad deeds. Afzal doesn't really mind bad deeds as long as they have weight behind them. He dislikes petty arguments and squabbles but doesn't mind theft and robbery. If any of his friends or family take dislike towards crimes however he tends to say that he agrees just to avoid an argument. divider 1.jpg Sea Storm.jpg
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  • Combat Prowess: Afzal is a ferocious combatant in battle, charging into battle while using his shield to block attacks and his sword to chop up his combatants into bits. His strength is slightly weaker when he's lost his shield though he's still able to adequately fight. He is more than capable of holding himself in combat and fights viciously, ending combat as quickly as possible so his lack of armor (when in Regalia) doesn't get in the way. He relishes in battle, often looting anything of value from the corpse.
  • Cartography & Navigation: Having spent years on a ship with his father and his father's dwarvish first mate he has learned to navigate the oceans through their tutoring of Astronomy. Though it took years of practice and memorization Afzal has learned to be incredibly good at oceanic navigation. He's learned to draw maps of Aloria with few flaws and can quite easily right himself using the stars and the blazing sun to guide him.
  • Multilingual: Having been on a ship with a crew of a few different races Afzal has learned a few more languages than Common and Faraddi. His mother taught him how to speak Dwarvish and Elvish so as to better speak to the inhabitants of Aloria, as well as his father's crew. He became well versed in Dwarvish which helped a lot when he became captain of his father's ship and had a firstmate who could only speak Dwarvish and a small amount of common. Also having a few elves in the crew Afzal's Elvish helped him to communicate with them as well. Not being entirely fluent in Dwarvish or Elvish he mispronounces a few words sometimes though he can get the message through.
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  • Kleptomaniac: After his father died he told himself that he must live up to his father's name and legacy. He finds it hard to resist taking anything valuable he can find and often becomes disappointed if he fails to retrieve anything of value that he sees. He feels as though he's letting down his father if he doesn't make large amounts of money or material goods, though through which means, he doesn't care as his father would be proud either way.
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Born on the Sea
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Afzal was born on the twenty third of February in the year of 278 A.C. on a ship in the midst of the Great Middle Sea. His mother nearly died in childbirth but was rushed to the nearest land, which happened to be Regalia, for medical help and took Afzal with her. Afzal passed his young childhood years by coloring on his mother's maps of Aloria and he began to gain familiarity with the map, though only taking it as a pretty picture to stare at. He lived in regalia for a while, learning Dwarvish and Elvish for the years that he lived there. When he turned 16 he was immediately enrolled in the School of Bloodcast. His father slacked off and stayed in regalia for a few years with his son and wife and the majority of his crew abandoned him. He resorted to hiring privateers and a few mercenaries to help defend his ship. Eventually Bahadur (Afzal's Father) began to resort to piracy instead of being a merchant.

He reached warrior at the age of twenty and decided to join his father's crew. He had competitions with the crew such as knife throwing and arm wrestling. He enjoyed shanties on the deck in their pastime and liked to dance around the ship.

His father and the firstmate of the ship began to teach him about navigation and Aloria's continents. Afzal took an interest to the lessons and learned quickly. Eventually Afzal's father grew ill, though he shrugged it off and continued to train Afzal in navigation. When his training was over his father held a party to introduce the boy as his second mate. The men drank and sang all through the night in the cold sea air.

In the morning Afzal was awakened by a gruff looking man who brought him to the captain's cabin. The cold night air, as well as his previous illness had left him on his death bed. He said a farewell to his father and mourned all day and the next before he stepped out of the cabin to the deck. The crew had shrank ever since his father had grown ill, their plunder growing more measly by the day. The majority of the crew left due to the lack of pay. With the remaining crew, and his new title as captain of The Crimson Regal he began to plunder more ships than the crew had ever done. Their gold stocks skyrocketed and before long he decided he needed a vacation to relax for a few months before returning to the sea. He set sail for Regalia to rejoin his mother in the city. As he docked he and his crew jumped onto the dock, shoving bags upon bags of gold into their pockets and carrying his mother's house. The rest of the gold was carted to the house, though they stuck to the alleyways so as to not attract unwanted attention. He settled down inside with his new riches and fell asleep.
 
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*tries to pronounce name* *fails miserably*
What is this witchcraft?!?! ( ◔ ʖ̯ ◔ )
 
Review
  • Starting off on your languages since it appears first on the sheet, so consider this also being an inclusion of the matching talent. Where would they have learned the Dwarf language? How the languages work you would require constant exposure and I don't feel as though the first mate of the ship would be able to teach his language while also fulfilling his duty. I want you to consider that point. Same with Modern Elven, how would they have learned the language? A ships environment doesn't seem the proper place to learn a language as there are many duties everyone has to adhere to instead of spending time to teach a language. That being said you may either want to reconsider this knowledge or find a work around, such as being educated on land prior to joining the crew.
  • I'm going to state that your weapon of choice is impractical when compared to a normal dagger. In fact, the weapon you describe is not currently permitted so I will have to ask you to change it or remove it.
  • For the second personality and abilities paragraph the character is described as very confident and mentally strong. I want to see some form of emotional fear or weakness. Something to provide depth as a character who is confident internally and externally is dry and one dimensional. Attempt to explore his relationship with being the son of a captain and then joining the crew of the ship, somehow living in his father's footsteps. How does he feel now that his father is dead? Does he feel a need to live up to that expectation of his deceased father or to surpass it? Some form of developmental exploration you can use in roleplay.
  • The School of Tuskbinder needs to be learned at the appropriate school. This is due to the steps involved in learning the school involve being at the location to fulfill tasks. It would be best to change schools. If not, you have to be enrolled at the pit.
Make the above changes and tag myself once completed @AnimalisticArts
 
@Wumpatron do you think that kleptomaniac would be an appropriate emotional weakness? Like he almost can't help stealing valuable things?
 
@Wumpatron I had a cool idea for his dagger where he has a piece of solacrox rock in the hilt with a small pebble of stolen amberite in front of it and since the blade is clear it would shine really brightly. Do you think that would be lore cannon or no?
 
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@Wumpatron I had a cool idea for his dagger where he has a piece of solacrox rock in the hilt with a small pebble of stolen amberite in front of it and since the blade is clear it would shine really brightly. Do you think that would be lore cannon or no?
No. You may have it be stolen and ornate, but no properties which change it from being a piece of metal with a hilt.
 
You would have to be 14 years of age for the start time of the School of Bloodcast. Though, given the character I would advise the School of Tenpenny instead as it would be an easier school to maintain practice in, given the impractical nature of fighting with a shield and sword at sea while also wearing full armor and a cape. I won't force you to forfeit Bloodcast, but if you choose to pursue it expect extreme edits to be made to justify the school.

Please make the edit I asked for the Second Personality and Abilities Paragraph. Currently the character lacks any depth and is bordering a mary sue. This will prevent that.

Make the above edits and tag myself once completed. @AnimalisticArts