Rejected Sheet Adrian Marillia

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Heraberry, Aug 18, 2021.

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Are Monzon the most fashionable knightly order?

Poll closed Sep 22, 2021.
  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    40.0%
  2. Yes but enthusiastic

    3 vote(s)
    60.0%
  3. I cannot remove this poll send help

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    [​IMG]
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    ╔═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╗
    "What is done out of love always takes a
    place beyond good and evil."

    ╚═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╝
    [​IMG]
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    • Basic Information || the self-made man
      • ≺ [ Full Name: Celebríno Dalore Roméro Alonso Marillía ]
        • 〈Nicknames: 'Adrian', 'Wittle Horn'
      • ≺ [ Age: 32]
        • 〈Birthday: October 27th, 278〉
        • 〈Star Sign: Scorpio〉
      • ≺ [ Gender: Male ]
        • 〈Pronouns: He/Him
      • ≺ [ Race: Maraya ]
        • 〈Subrace: El〉
      • ≺ [ Eye Color: Pale Yellow]
    • Core Concept || a blossom of lavender
      • Adrian Marillia is primarily agnostic and holds no faith in any god, outright despising most deities that contrast his own ideologies or, in his eyes, are 'insane'.
      • Adrian Marillia is an eccentric, self-praising perfumist and diplomat with an envious heart and a greedy mind, constantly using his skills to improve his image or weigh his pockets down.
    • Skill Information || tools of the trade
      • ≺ [ Total Points|| 50 Main Points + 10 Hobby Points]
        • 〈Main Points〉
          • Dagger Combat Skill: 5 Points {5 Main Points}
          • Bodycare Training Skill: 10 Points {10 Main Points}
          • Dancing Art Skill: 6 Points {6 Main Points}
          • Linguistics Training Skill: 6 Points {6 Main Points}
          • Mixology Art Skill: 5 Points {5 Main Points}
          • Gardening Art Skill: 3 Points {3 Main Points}
        • 〈Hobby Points〉
          • Glass Art Skill: 15 Points {10 Hobby Points + Racial Boost }
        • 〈Point-Buy Traits〉
          • ≺ [ Alchemy: 12 Points ]
            • Alchemy Pack One: Common: 3 Points {3 Main Points}\
            • Alchemy Pack Two: Healing: 3 Points {3 Main Points}
            • Alchemy Pack Three: Conning: 3 Points {3 Main Points}
            • Alchemy Pack Four: Volatile: 3 Points {3 Main Points}
          • ≺ [Metallurgy: 3 Points ]
            • Finecraft Metallurgy: 3 Points {3 Main Points}
        • ≺ [ Physical Stat: 19 Points ]
        • ≺ [ Body Shape: Sculpted]
    [​IMG]
    ╔═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╗
    "Is it history or home that hurts us more?"
    ╚═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╝
    [​IMG]

    • Special Traits || arbitration advantages
      • ≺ [ Metallurgy ]
      • 〈Finecraft Metallurgy〉
      • ≺ [ Alchemy ]
      • 〈Alchemy Pack One: Common〉
      • 〈Alchemy Pack Two: Healing〉
      • 〈Alchemy Pack Three: Conning〉
      • 〈Alchemy Pack Four: Volatile〉
      • ≺ [ Affliction Traits ]
      • 〈Graal Bloodline〉
      • 〈Subjugation Immune〉
      • 〈Disrupt Channel〉
      • 〈Home Advantage〉
      • 〈Omniaware〉
      • 〈Home Teleport〉
    • Languages || crucial conversations
      • ≺ [ Common {Birth Language | Fluent}]
      • ≺ [ Modern Altalar {Birth Language | Fluent}]
      • ≺ [ Daendroquin {Learned Language | Fluent}]
      • ≺ [ Girobaldan {Learned Language | Fluent}]
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    • Visual Information || appearances matter
      • Adrian holds the marks of the Void's influence on his skin and face, his hair a writhing mass of lavender tentacles, and his cheek holding an Asha-claw mark, usually hidden with make-up.
      • Standing at 6'1", Adrian Marillia has a masculine, sculpted body dotted with scars from battles long past. His hair is lavender but does not have a specific style as it moves too often, though he often styles it for guests, and down to waist height.
      • Adrian's vampiric shift, "The Vermillion Prince", is a tall, sculpted-to-perfection creature with aspects bearing resemblance to a bat. However, its skin is almost powdery like ash and its body is draped with discolored rags, leaving its torso open. Its lower jaw is massive with its chin chiseled to look monstrous. Finally, a crown of crimson, rose-like thorns just from its head backward in a pseudo-crown.
    [​IMG]
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    ╔═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╗
    "I am jealous of those who think more deeply,
    who write better, who draw better, who look,
    better, who live better, who love better than I."

    ╚═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·.⟐.·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══╝
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    • Life Story || a story rarely told
      • ≺ [ Childhood ]
        • Adrian was born on October 27th, 278 to a large, low noble family of Teledden-Daendroque Half-Altalar, children of their previous masters; The House Marillía.
        • Most of his early life was spent in the watchful care of tutors, in colorful dances, or as a guest to other noble families in the Daen countryside.
      • ≺ [ Adolescence ]
        • Whether it was learning to spar with daggers or swing traditional dances, Adrian's adolescent years were full of activity from the boy.
        • He would study under another El-Maraya for a time, picking up his talents in glasswork and alchemy from the perfumist; skills that would become a lifelong passion.
        • The boy would become particularly athletic amongst his siblings, something which he would lord over them with a rivalry.
      • ≺ [Early Adulthood]
        • Adrian would apply for multiple Daen and Ithanian art schools as he became an adult, though would never attend them.
        • During this time, he would hone most of his passions to peak perfection with countless, strenuous hours spent pouring over designs in his study.
        • Adrian would impulsively join the ranks of the Azure Order as a mage tracker and a slave hunter, something which he would excel at in certain fields.
      • ≺ [ Advanced Years ]
        • After years away from home, and the disbandment of his Order, Adrian would return for only a week before setting off once more.
        • With his Mastercraft talents, the man would find employment under many groups and individuals alike, being noted for his, seemingly, indiscriminate practices.
      • ≺ [ Bound for Regalia... ]
        • Possessed with wanderlust and familial pride, and a touch of envy, Adrian would depart for Regalia by sea.
    • Progression Information || time carved applications
      • Support: 3 Levels
     
    • Winner Winner x 12
    • Cuddles! Cuddles! x 1
    #1 Heraberry, Aug 18, 2021
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2022
  2. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    Credit to @Qoll for their assistance with this document's aesthetics with their exceptional guide!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    Claimed for review.​
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  4. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    @Heraberry Please remove the descriptions of your abilities. They fill far too much space and are unnecessary for the application. You can have them saved to an external document if you need them for easy reference.
     
  5. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    Moved all racials/traits/etc. into a spoiler for ease-of-use!
     
  6. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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  7. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    @fantuinn

    8/27/21 Change!
    Changed 8 points of Light Ranged into 8 Points shielding!
     
  8. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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  9. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    @fantuinn

    9/12/21 Changes
    • Added Dorkarth and Von Kerle Bloodlines under the abilities tabs! (Twiceborn)
    • Changed 5 Dagger Combat Skill to Fist Combat skill!
    Thank you!

    [​IMG]
     
    • Powerful Powerful x 1
  10. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    @fantuinn
    It's time for....

    9/20/21 Changes and hopefully the last technical changes until after this event.
    • Replaced 8 Shielding with With 12 Warlash
    • Changed 10 Sword Combat to 11
    • Purchased 3 Points in Linguistics
    • Purchased 5 Points in Writing Art
    • Removed Element Brand 5
    • Remove Magic Bolt 1
    • All mentions of the Monzon Order have been replaced with the Parthas Order to better fit Adrian's character.
    • Aged Adrian down to 31 from 48
    • Minor backstory rewrite for change above.

    I do not know how to close the vote please help.

    Thank you!
     
    #10 Heraberry, Sep 21, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2021
  11. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    @Heraberry Hello! Claiming this for review:

    Everything checks out. Approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  12. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    Well, I was wrong.

    It is time for...

    10/7/21 Changes
    • Altered proficiencies to better balance out combat skills and remove unused skills that I could never incorporate into RP. Thank you @Winterless for the suggestion of keeping CRP proficiency investments under 25 points in total.
      • Changed Racial Boost to Warlash Combat Skill
      • Changed Warlash investment from 12 to 8
      • Changed Swords investment from 11 to 10
      • Removed Glass Art, replaced with Sailing Art (with backstory changes to fit this point alterations)
      • Remove Finecraft Metallurgy
      • Removed Engraving Metallurgy
      • Changed Linguistics investment from 3 to 9 to keep languages lost during Linguistics Update (9/25/21) with room to learn one extra language in future.
      • 10 points left over for future tutoring roleplay scenarios.
    • Altered Twiceborn permission
      • Changed Von Kerle Bloodline to Milot to better suit the character's personality and to palette my growing distaste for drawn-out combat roleplay sessions.

    Thank you!

    [ @Acosmism ]
     
    #12 Heraberry, Oct 7, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2021
  13. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    You must invest at least 10 core points in a proficiency to be able to use your racial boost. This would make your warlash 15. Please correct this and tag me when you are done. @Heraberry
     
  14. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    • The requested change has been made!
      • Warlash Investment changed from 8 to 10 from the free-point pool to receive a racial boost.
    [ @Acosmism ]
     
  15. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  16. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    It's time for...

    11/9/21 Changes

    • The Document has been edited to comply with the new format including Progression information
    • Proficiency Shifts
      • Replaced Sword & Warlash Skills with Spear and Dagger proficiency.
      • Glass Art Invested into and applied with Racial Boost.
      • Added Mixology Art Skill.
      • Invested 5 points more into Bodycare (totalling 10)
      • Removed 3 Points from Linguistics.
      • Changed learned language of Etos to Girobaldan.
    • Edited Adrian to be a Bloodcast Knight to fit with the coming Knight Update and the removal of the Parthas Order.
      • Backstory rewrites to fit this change.
    • Addition of Progression Information
    All changes have been made in GREEN!

    [ @Acosmism ]
     
  17. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  18. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    [@Acosmism]
    A new Maraya update came out and you know what that means...

    Major 12/7/21 Update!
    • Removed Knighthood Entirely!
      • I very rarely utilized the niche that knights are supposed to fill in the city and, thus, did not feel it right to keep the character as one.
        • The backstory has been changed to show this.
    • Proficiency Update!
      • Removed Dagger Combat Skill
      • Removed Writing Art Skill
      • Decreased Body Care Training Skills from 10 to 5
      • Decreased Spear Combat Skill from 13 to 5
      • Added Vocal Art Skill
      • Added Husbandry Art Skill
      • Added 4 Engineering Packs
      • Changed 2nd Linguistics language from Girobaldan to Shalota
      • Special traits added to show additions...
    • Adrian is now a believer in Tohn Sona, though to a lesser extent than many Maraya on account of being Skyborn.
    • Updated progression talents.
     
  19. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-approved.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  20. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    @Acosmism

    1/31/2022 Changes!
    Due to my dislike of the last changes from the previous notice, I have decided to reverse most of them in favor of leaning more heavily into Adrian being a courtly perfumist rather than an engineer. He, however, is not becoming a knight again.
    • Proficiency Changes!
      • Removed Spear Combat and Replaced with Dagger Combat skill.
      • Boosted Bodycare training from 5 to 10 points.
      • Boosted Mixology from 4 to 5 points.
      • Added 6 points to Dancing Art Skill, removing Vocal Art.
      • Readded Writing Art Skill with 3 points.
      • Added Gardening Art skill with 3 points.
      • Removed language "Shalota", replaced with "Girobaldan".
      • Removed all Engineering traits.
      • Added Conning, Common, and Volatile Alchemy Packs.
      • Updated Body Shape to Sculpted.
      • Updated Physical Stat to 19.
    • Affliction Description Updated!
      • Removed squid aesthetic in favor of his original, bat-like aesthetic.
    • Backstory Updates!
      • (Thank you @Acosmism for the inspiration.)
      • Hid most of Adrian's backstory to avoid metagaming and create more RP. All of the points relevant to lore are listed.
    • Other Minor Changes!
      • Increased age by 1.
      • Name edits to look more Daendroque-inspired rather than Altalar whilst still paying lip service.
      • Updates to faith description.
      • Aesthetic changes.
     
    #20 Heraberry, Feb 1, 2022
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2022
  21. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-approved
     
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  22. Heraberry

    Heraberry The Best Narcissist

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    @Acosmism Time for some post-battle changes!

    3/9/2022 Changes!
    Vampire Update!
    Adrian has been reinfected and, in line with goals and his status as an alchemist, he has taken the Graal Bloodline. These abilities have been added to his list.

    Alchemy Redistribution!
    Replaced the 3 Points in Writing with Alchemy Pack Three: Healing. Progression points have been redistributed to match this change.

    Thank you!
     
  23. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Imperial Bloodhound Staff Member Lore2
    1. House von Drachenburg

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    @Heraberry reapproved, though make sure the alchemy says 12 instead of 9
     

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