A Case Study Upon Overshortening, Assumptions, And Other Failings Of Speech.

[weatherbyrd]

I find myself feeling enlightened, after a long discussion with the wonderful Duchess Madelyn de Azcoissia, who has offered several bits of constructive criticism over the course of my elaboration and clarification of points in regards to my speech against the forced conscription of Eronidas. The point of this paper, is to highlight my own faults and how they could be resolved for future communication, and to clear the air on the true intentions of my speech, which had not been conveyed because of several points of failure. The original criticism can be found in the work, On Reductionism and Hypocrisy, by Duchess Madelyn de Azcoissia.

"..I offer my thanks and gratitudes for being allowed to speak. I will begin by saying that I do not hold any favor for the concept of work camps, they degrade and ultimately break the faith of those in them that we act to try and better their lives, especially when those in them are within the camps only for their blood. However, the proposal being pushed forwards will ultimately lead to even worse conditions, and potential revolt, by giving an already disgruntled populace arms, and pressing them into an even more dangerous line of work. While we have in the past pressed criminals into the navy, we could only do that because we have threatened them with death for disobedience, and sweetened the deal with a lessening of sentences. Forcing the Eronidas into the military will lead to a breakdown of good order and discipline amongst their ranks, which could potentially lead to attempted succession and revolt with the very arms and command we give them, all on the naive assumption that because they are strong, they will automatically wish to fight for us. That is all." - Count Avox Petrou, March 19th, 310AC.

"..I will begin by saying that I do not hold any favor for the concept of work camps, they degrade and ultimately break the faith of those in them that we act to try and better their lives, especially when those in them are within the camps only for their blood. However, the proposal being pushed forwards will ultimately lead to even worse conditions, and potential revolt, by giving an already disgruntled populace arms, and pressing them into an even more dangerous line of work."

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In the excerpt above, I lay the foundation of my argument, which is that the forced military service would be a worse condition than forced labor. However, while I had thought this point to be simple enough, there lay several glaring errors that could have been amended, and ultimately, avoid any potential misinterpretation of my words. Primarily, the line "potentially revolt." While the primary argument had been laid in an attempt to undermine the wretched conditions that forced military service would have put down, it had also laid the foundation of objectifying the lives of the Eronidas as a resource to be exploited, and while initially meant to emphasize the potential disdain the Eronidas may have held for such an arrangement, could be misconstrued into a stance that was potentially derogatory for the peoples in question, by questioning their fealty to the Empire.

Moving onwards, the second primary criticism had been the mention of Pressed Criminals:

"While we have in the past pressed criminals into the navy, we could only do that because we have threatened them with death for disobedience, and sweetened the deal with a lessening of sentences."

The initial intent of this statement, had been to emphasize the fact to press sailors, we had to use unreasonable force upon convicts to gain their obedience, while simultaneously adding a moderate improvement to their life in the long run. This was to make the case that it often takes horrific treatment against individuals to force them into service, and that ultimately, the Eronidas ultimately did not do anything wrong to deserve being forced into these positions, but also to emphasize that we were not offering any better life conditions, contingent upon my former point, and that some sort of resentment was likely to build.

However, I had failed to convey this point, in the sake of attempting to be brief, and made a grave miscalculation in assuming that others may view it through the same perspective as I, proven by the Duchess assuming I had meant to compare Eronidas to criminals. This is a key point in all communication that I had failed to respect, that others often do not have the same mind as yourself.

Moving onto my final blunder, the assumption that those at the assembly would immediately recall the primary supporting argument, and arguing against it without mentioning it:

"Forcing the Eronidas into the military will lead to a breakdown of good order and discipline amongst their ranks, which could potentially lead to attempted succession and revolt with the very arms and command we give them, all on the naive assumption that because they are strong, they will automatically wish to fight for us."

While there is assumption that this statement had been based in prejudice, it had actually been an argument decrying the naïve assumption of the Duke Gishkim, that all Eronidas would prefer fighting in incredibly dangerous situations, instead of forced labor, a prejudice based in what I assume to be pride in his people's martial prowess. In this statement, I had meant to elaborate upon the point that forcing unwilling people to fight in dangerous situations, without an improvement in their lifestyle, would lead to unwilling fighters, and a breakdown in the good order and conduct that is necessary for an army, and only ever exemplified by people who fight with justification and belief in their cause. It is proven that unwilling conscripts lack the good order and discipline required of armies.

While this may have been the point I had attempted to convey, I had failed to mention explicitly that it was in counter towards the Duke Gishkim's point, and could be seen as potentially assuming that the Eronidas were rowdy and undisciplined, which would support a stereotype that some seem to have. This could have been amended, yet I had not considered it to be an issue, and made the assumption that all would be able to infer what I had meant.

In conclusion, I believe that many of these errors could be resolved and avoided by fully compounding on my argument, being more thorough, and leaving less to the assumptions I had expected the peerage to come to.

On a lighter note to perhaps alleviate some tension created by the Duchess' decry, I do state that we of House Petrou take the term Horse Lord with some kind of endearment, and that we no longer consider it an insult, but rather, praise of our martial prowess. Regardless, I assume this paper to be sufficient on highlighting communicative errors, and hope that others may learn from mistakes I had made, especially the peerage who, like I, have yet to become masters of verbiage and persuasion.

Signed, Avox Petrou
Count of Kepkua,
Director of Admirality of The Southern Mark​

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[bwmwags3]

The Lord settled in to his chair the moment of worrying staring at his blank page ended. As the Duke's response was brought and he read it over thrice. Then released a grateful breath.

"Thank Juvin and the Duchess seems I shall have no need to pen anything. It takes a firm character to admit when one has erred and the Count has displayed it…perhaps I was hasty in believing him to apart from the Duke. Perhaps he shall reach the Duke's eloquence and political tact sooner then thought."

The Lord-Celate's written response that would be distributed was simple.

The Count Petrou's words while political and at first made in haste have now been revised. With a not often seen humility and decorum which acknowledged the Duchess' assistance. I find this response sufficient apology and sufficient correction of his former points.

May Heroes Kristoph and Hero Korthas find his corrections proper. May we all forgive his errors, now corrected, as God Empress Ness forgives them and begin debate from a place of politics and belief. Rather then from emotion at former errors.

In Ness' Eternal Mercy,
Atum Morathes
Lord of the Empire
Celate of the Divine College of Calemburg​