“What a waste of paper” Librarian in blood-stained Uniform -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Character Information Full Name: Hans-Joachiam Nowotny Race: Wirtem Ailor Age: 42 Gender: Male Eye Color: Dark Blue Core Concept A war-hardened frontline infantry officer who at times clashes with the Army Staff over correct deployments, having many battles up his sleeves from all sorts of positions in the military. What little luck he had till now in his career he entirely lacked in his private life till recently and still even that is a constant fight to preserve. Proficiencies 2 Strength Blades Pack Thin Blades Pack 3 Constitution Resilience Pack Bruteforce Pack Heavy Shielding Pack 0 Wisdom 1 Dexterity Longneck Pack 0 Magic 8 Charisma (Seizing Destiny increase) Empire Linguist Pack Ancient Speech Pack State General Pack State Commander Pack Languages Common / Fluent with heavy accent Calem / Main tongue Ithanian / Detested mother tongue (Empire Linguist Pack) Issisch / Basic reading skills (Ancient Speech Pack) Appearance Information Hans has pale blond hair, always combed into a neat side parting. Sometimes said hair rebels and falls in his face which is lovingly called "curtain hair" by his peers. His body is shaped in an athletic way while standing 6ft tall. He prides himself on his appearance and the fact that his face isn't scared by the battles from the past, the rest of his body is though. Life Story Hans-Joachim is the son of a Wirten Navy captain and an Ithanian jeweler's daughter. Both of them constantly fought against each other while they raised him in the Capital. Excursions to the libraries of the City and its gardens filled the time that wasn't spent on the basic education his mother gave him. His father on the other hand preferred to drag Hans into the mountains when he was back from Navy deployment. After a long journey around the Empire to visit his extended family, Hans joined the Imperial Marshal Academy to become a Field Commander. Without any imminent deployments insight after the completion of the Imperial Marshal Academy, Hans joined the General Staff Course at the Lutherstadt Kriegsakademie and afterward attended artillery courses in Lampeport. During the Burning of the North in 305 AC Hans lead an infantry regiment that afterward was pressed into fighting insurgents in backwater regions of the Empire. Thanks to his skillsets he became a Privat General for the von Drachenburgs years later. Soon after he joined the Marshal Cabinet during the Sendrassian War. Being politically unable to maneuver the politics of war his career as Field General was short-lived and he was dismissed before the war ended. Being his place of birth, Hans rarely called the Capital his home and always tried his best to escape the City by volunteering for deployment. But in the end, he always had to return. Extended Life Story (WIP) Spoiler -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Childhood Whoever thought that a marriage between the daughter of an Ithanian jeweler and an officer of the Regalian Navy even on the crown island was a smart idea deserves to hang. Not even on a first name, those 2 could agree upon, he called me Hans she Joachim… Utterly useless, both ripped their resources apart as they both always knew what was best. Sabationg each other at every possible moment. Even worse… being a single child in this loveless competition-driven relationship gave little relief as there was only one target.. At some point father was under the impression that he had won their 15-year-long fight for dominance, I was speaking more Regalisch than Ithanian or Common and had a more Regalain look on things. So he assumed that when I handed him the papers for my admission to the Imperial Marshal Academy that I would step into his boots and join the Navy. Mother almost died laughing when the question about the discipline was answered with a cynical one-liner “Command Tactic”, the horrified and unbelieving glance on father's face was worth the beating. After this little… confrontation mother announced that I would have still enough time for the Imperial Marshal Academy after we would return from an extended visit with our family.. Which barely cost me 2 years of my life … but I was told I would have enough of that to come. Adulthood Years are flying past you when you are having fun in all those courses and classes for your commission as a Field Commander. It's beyond me why a student that is willing to bring up the financial resources (Thank you mother) to learn another course may only do so by switching in the first year… Sure in war there is a need for us to be burned on the frontline but in peace?... It's not that piece of paper with the commission for another field that intrigues me… No no! But… with those new cannon and mortar designs just around the corner… Tactics on a regimental level might change forever… 3 more years? Denied by a silly rule? Very well! I have time.. lots of it Thereby few ways can be taken, tutoring, fawning and investment. Every way costs, either money, time or both. So after having made my way from the City of Light to Lampeport in the South I searched for that one guy that spoke up once or twice to loud. In almost every institution, there is somebody that has significant knowledge but was overstep when its time for promotions because his superiors can't stand him. Some of those leave, others stay and are just happy that they are left to themselves. Now after finding said person that has fallen from grace you have to present the benefit of having a young field commander that annoys you with questions about different trajectories, benefits of different kinds of gun powders and so going on all day long. He pays your tab in the local officer's casino… I don’t need to tell you that overall it’s tedious as well as work and travel intensive to go this route. It was somewhat comforting that a graduate from the General Command course shared my fate and was willing to explain that discipline in countless beerhall nights to me. After the Academies (301 AC) Being a Field Commander while there is no conflict is like being a none talented artist. Nobody needs or wants you. Sure the 3 best might be picked to replace aging commanders… the rest waits or becomes mercenaries. Meanwhile sneaking yourself into further classes is only really working when the school is far away from the one you already visited. 5 Months of prepping courses for General Command surely still pay off at some point It's also easier to ask for forgiveness and then for permission. The Battle of Calemberg (302 AC) One might think that again being denied the honor of leading men into battle at the tip of the spear might be a bad sign… a foreshadowing so to speak… thousands landed on the coast but only mere hundreds returned... The Spirit seemed to have other plans for me than dying on the field. But policing the aftermath with a company of men? Hunting bandits and rioters? On the other hand, who am I to question His ways? Burning of the North 305 AC A wise older NCO once said “Never volunteer for a special operation, you always know what you are currently doing… but not what acts you have to commit elsewhere” The precipitation of an uprising… is something along those lines, its bloody and more complicated than a longer-lasting siege. But getting a regiment? Finally... Why wouldn't you volunteer! Especially with the prospect of working on your own behalf with little oversight. “Everything, days into this direction is your enemy” those are easy orders, let the men lose and start a manhunt for those northern savages. At least in my section, there wasn't anything noteworthy besides smaller skirmishes… and the fact that some officers were so eager to burn down villages that they forgot to ask beforehand if that villages after the population was physically removed might be used to house the regiment. Nothing a field court wouldn’t fix. The occupation was short-lived and a promise for land in this dead tundra was politely overheard. Present The state of the crown Island is no surprise to those that have spent a significant part of their life here. From all around the empire the undesirable pour into this city. Compare it with a blast furnace if you will… unfortunately, in a steel mill, there is somebody that skims down the slag from the molten metal. Here the slag is allowed to flourish like it actually has a use for our society. The speech the Emperor gave… may the Spirit bless his soul was the best example… a few good men, many that wouldn't care, and some that actively tried to destroy his vision. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Personal Regiment (dissolved): "Freikorps Regalia" Freikorps: A Freikorps (Free Corps) falls into a spot between the military and mercenary work. Most deployments while voluntary are ideologically driven. The Freikorps see its purpose in punishing those that betrayed the Empire but for political reasons can't be directly dealt with. Such honorable tasks need to be carried out, with or without pay. Strength: 1,000 Men Additional Experts as needed Specialization: Rapid Mobilisation and Transfer Scorched Earth Tactics Motto: From one hell to the next Colors: White / Black Operational History: Founded during the Campaign against the North in 305 AC, the Freikorps Regalia served as the personal Battalion of Hans Nowotny. As it wasn't a permanent Regiment at its humble beginning it was called into action and dissolved afterward with only short notice given to the unit, thereby its NCOs developed an effective organization style to accommodate the quick deployments and returns. The Campaign against the North shaped its preferred tactics, scorched earth, and only reinforced its rapid transfer to the next target. The other deployments while less prominent forced the Battalion into anti-partisan, bandit, and outlaw operations. Those rather demoralizing operations had an educational effect on Nowotny and his NCOs. To stop a group that primarily decides when it strikes, you have to cut and stomp out its rural supporters and destroy as many as possible hiding spots for the winter. Juli 308 AC, with the attempt to liberate Highland Ceardians from the Url suppressors, the Freikorps was deployed alongside General Ludenhofs Battalion into Goretaan Land. While at first, the landing seemed promising, soon they encountered stiff resistance. The counter-attack from the Goretaan Standing Army broke the neck of the units, unable to succeed and worn down to a 1/10 of the original strength they retreated. Leaving behind their comrades that have been taken prisoner… now to be turned into the Urls they wanted to fight. Given some time to recover from this horrific incident, the Regiment was again deployed months later to drive out the Wardens of Purity from Irole and Alpen. While Dietrich von Drachenburg troops barely encountered bigger formations, the combat group around Harald von Drachenburg and Nowotny found themselves heavily outnumbered. After several failed attempts of pushing them back, the 3 Regiments had to fall back to a safer position. With the Warden problem dragging on for much longer the Regiment went back to its roots and hunted down smaller factions after the main pulk dissolved. While no combat took place the Freikorps assisted in the occupation of Bulgern. Knowing some of the men for ages they were entrusted to be the eyes and ears of Nowotny in the city. The Freikorps also took part in the Sendrassian War but by now was only one Regiment of many under Nowotny's command. The personal Regiment was officially dissolved with the military reforms that followed the War´s ending. It's questionable if it ever can be called upon again.
Peer Review, as requested on Discord!: Overview: - Please fix a multitude of grammar and spelling mistakes in your Backstory. Let me know if you want me to go through the grammar one by one. Remember that while German capitalizes all nouns, English only capitalizes proper nouns. I recommend using Grammarly in order to quickly scan through it all. - You switch between 1st and 2nd person a lot. I'm unsure if this is on purpose, but I've never seen it in a backstory. Personally, I love it and find it creative, but I'm also unsure what the Lore Staff policy is on it. It's up to you whether you wish to keep it that way or not. - There are minor aesthetic errors, such as bolded titles in one place but not others, inconsistent capitalization and inconsistent punctuation (such as : on some spots and only spaces on others). This fix is not necessarily required for approval, but will make your character application much more appealing and organized. Nitpicks: - State where he was born and lived during his childhood in your Life Story. - Ithanian women, despite holding a pacifistic culture, would not be against men serving in the military. They are in a matriarchy, and thus see men as 'lesser', leading to the view that they should serve in order to protect and die for the women of society. This doesn't apply to all Ithanian women, of course- just a little nitpick if you want to keep his Ithanian mother accurate to a point. - Such a thing does not exist. Unless you mean the failed concept of the Tenpenny Puretek Regiment on the wiki, I have never heard of this. Even then, it potentially breaks the rule of 'character relevance in backstory'. I highly recommend replacing it with a regiment that exists, whether it be in the Regalian Imperial Army or elsewhere. Currently, Puretek is extremely highly regulated, so an army would be unlikely. - Puretek is a fairly new weapon invented by the Belliard Guild, in 306 AC (only two years ago). Ensure that its mention is not too far in the past. - Your character is a Puretek specialist, yet has no proficencies in Puretek. I recommend shifting his points around to include Puretek proficiency. - While your 'Present' paragraph is beautifully written and very poetic, I recommend clarifying it more. What does Hans mean by 'Slag'? Foreigners? Aberrants? Heretics? All of the above? I heavily suggest saving the current Backstory and using it as a Lore Story because of the style it is written in, but backstories tend to be more on the factual, practical side. - Capitalize all names of language (Ithanian, Regalisch and Common), as language names are proper nouns. - Clarify that this means bribery. Also, do note that bribing Regalian military officers is risky business; if your character is found to have committed said crime IC/through roleplay, they may be reprimanded harshly. - Waldmann is spelled incorrectly. What does 'transitional' mean, in the context of fashion? - Ailorian is not the noun form of Ailor. Simply Ailor suffices. - You've left 'Skin Color' blank.
Claimed. Once you complete the suggested peer review edits, please tag me for a formal staff review @_K_Galland_
@_K_Galland_ looking at the post history, there doesn't seem to be any updates since my post. Once you finish the peer review, please tag me.
Greetings everyone, Personal commitments and a short sickness drew my attention elsewhere, sorry for the long wait.. I realized after your critic @BeetrootSalad that my backstory had major flaws so I rewrote certain aspects. One some other points I would like to comment: - The mother is laughing because of the fact that her son isn't joining the Navy as the father is expecting but is leaving for an Army career. So neither of them wins in the end and that realization caused the laugh. - I will admit that I am writing rather vaguely and that the overall style might not be accepted. -Since his parents married on the crown island and its not stated otherwise Hans was born and raised on the crown island. -I completely removed the Puretek part, it made little to no sense and my character will seek out those skills in ICly as they are rather new to begin with. -Also, Hans didn't bribe in the end.. he extorted the clerk with his knowledge. Again as mentioned before thanks a lot and I am truly sorry for my horribly grammar! @FireFan96 Please let me know if you would like to see any changes to the application. I would like to thank you upfront for your time and consideration!
@_K_Galland_ my review: All I will note is based on life story, it is implied that Hans studied formal Siege Tactics and General Tactics in the School of Marshalry after he completed his Battle Command schooling. Even with attempts of extortion, the Regalian Military records are thorough enough that even a clerk wouldn't be able to approve a second discipline. He would have to study these tactics outside of the formal academies. Make this one change and tag me once completed.
@FireFan96 Greetings fine Sir, I added the a Lineage to my character and would request a short look over the changes marked in dark blue. Please let me know if something should be fixed or adjusted.
Greetings @FireFan96 I made some changes to my app according to the new proficiency system. Please let me if that works out. Thanks alot.
Greetings fine Sir @FireFan96 Changed to Drahl Lineage as Noreans are no longer a thing. I had to do a little of a adjustment to make it still work. Drahl Bird of Prey can be found at the bottom before the Personal Regiment. Many thanks
