Ztril Al-vyzal

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by Eyrok, Feb 28, 2018.

  1. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    Basic Information (Required):

    • Full name: Ztril Daukachi Al-Vyzal (nee Merrit)
    • Age: 45
    • Gender: Male
    • Race: Als-Allar
    • Preferred weapon: Blunt-headed stave, Cratos mutations

    Skill Information (Required):

    Total proficiency points:
    60 standard (10 free, 5 base, 45 age) + 10 hobby

    Proficiency:

    • Alchemical science: +20 skill points (15 invested, 5 free from Al-Allar species)
    • Medical science: +15 skill points (15 invested)
    • Finecraft science: +10 (10 invested)
    • Stave combat: +10 skill points (10 invested)
    • Statecraft command: +10 skill points (10 invested)
    • Threads art: +5 skill points (5 hobby points invested)
    • Gardening art: +5 skill points (5 hobby points invested)
    Body shape:
    • 10 (combat knowledge) - Toned, moderate body fat
    Languages:
    • Common (Learned in childhood)
    • Zzasta (Learned at Hal Pormonth)
    Tech form appearance: All information is visual, no bonuses are acquired from the following unless duly noted.

    On transformation: The process is somewhat painful and protracted, takin between ten and thirty seconds. While most of Ztril’s flesh remains intact, enough to keep him identifiable, the rest sloughs and melts off in meaty, goopy chunks. Organic leavings rot rapidly, turning to corpse ash in twelve minutes. Reversion takes aproximately thirty seconds and is also painful as void-enhanced regeneration moves to cover over broken flesh and impossible machinery jams itself back into places it shouldn’t fit.

    On use: Ztril has no real experience with this kind of technology and is mostly improvising how it works based on void-derived instinct. He is very much having to learn as he goes, and thus may not actually know how to use these powers without practice

    Head: Instead of melting Ztril’s eyes are replaced in a blink by red LEDs at the back of impossibly deep, impossibly dark holes. On transformation his jaw falls off and shatters, replaced with a series of insect-esque metal armatures mounted to the top of the back of the mouth. These armatures carry a variety of nasty surgical equipment, including a hypodermic needle used for feeding. Ztril can put skulls into his “mouth” to create Tech Obedients.
    Note that the top of Ztril’s head is unaffected by the trasformation - he is very much still identifiable

    Torso: Ztril’s shoulders rip open to reveal a series of tubes, flowing full of blood, void energy and alien fluids.

    Left arm: A series of tubes jut out from the elbow into the back of a boxy construction that acts as the hybrid Tech Noxia and Tech Vileshot. Upon firing the vileshot, parts of the construction collapse to reveal messy flesh/machine insides.

    Right arm: Ztril’s hand swells up into a mechanical power claw full of intricate mechanical tools. A series of tubes also connect from the elbow to this assembly. This assembly is effective at repairing tools but has the habit of taking things into it and refusing to let go, or getting stuck on larger machines (Tech Maintenance)

    Legs and waist: Tech Arachnia. Ztril’s legs messily melt and reveal a series of spidery, pointed metal legs, albeit ones lined with sinister part piston-part sinews in order to move them. Furthermore an engine block swings back behind the back of Ztril’s waist as a sort of “abdomen”, connected to the legs and body by a mixture of intestines and alchemy tubes. This engine makes a noticeable grinding noise while Ztril is transformed.


    Cratos form mutations:
    Tech Aracnia
    Tech Noxia
    Tech Vileshot
    Tech Obedient
    Tech Maintenance

    Visual information (Required):
    • Eye colour: Minimal white sclera, large yellow iris.
    • “Hair” colour: Ztril is a lizard and therefore has no hair, but he does have a series of bony-coloured horns on his head.
    • “Hair” style: The horns are cracked, low and stubby nubs as a result of a lifetime of alchemical accidents.
    • Skin colour: Vivid green scales with a paler belly.
    • Clothing: Casually, “repurposed” Qadir jacket and harem pants with a bandage to cover up his chest scar. Working, white-and-blue coat covered in pockets and little off-colour stains. Cold conditions, a puffy purple-and-blue noble coat.
    • Height: 5’6.

    • Head: Ztril’s eyes are big and round, shaped in the back of a head with a short muzzle ending in a mouth filled with sharp teeth (although it looks like his incisors have had to be regrown at some point) and a long forked tongue. He has a stripe of strange, pale scales across the left side of his face and muzzle. He also has a small scar above the right eye. Recently, Ztril seems to have taken some reddening around the eyes...
    • Body: Ztril is relatively tall at six foot exactly. He used to be rather lanky, but he seems to be putting on some weight recently. Whilst capable of moving fast he seriously lacks major muscles, the strongest being in his thighs and legs. He cannot endure too much physical activity although he does try his best to help with the situation. Ztril seems to have a pale patch of scales on his chest, similar to those on his face. He has a scar from a tearing wound on his left shoulder and a small scar on his right ankle. Ztril has claws at the end of his hands and feet, but these are mostly blunt and are not considered natural weapons.
    • Clothing: Ztril mostly prefers to dress loosely and comfortably. Casually he usually wears plain shirts or jackets, particularly drawn to fashions from the Qadir lands at the moment with a brown jacket and cream harem pants. When performing medical or alchemical work (or expecting to get into trouble) he usually wears an off-white and blue longcoat, covered in pockets full of bottles and powders and little, multi-coloured stains. During winter or cold conditions Ztril prefers to wrap up in an elaborate purple and blue coat, clearly of noble make. Ztril usually carries a patchwork satchel full of medical supplies and alchemical tools, along with a couple of small charms tied to his belt including a small pink heart and a metal tag that allegedly contains some lapis.
    • Voice: Ztril’s voice is all over the place. When he’s on top of himself, he usually tends to speak briskly in a normally pitched but hissing and with an accent that turns all cases of “s” into “z”. When he’s not in full control, he has a tendency to stutter or mumble sentences full of “ums” and “ers”. When outright panicking, Ztril has been known to make all sorts of animalistic noises and generally tends to yell in brisk sentences.

    • Personality and Abilities (Required):
    • General: Ztril has, put bluntly, jumped into the deep end. With the war in Hadar dragging on the way it is, Ztril’s normally jovial attitude has become darker as he seeks more and more desperate ways to end the conflict. A short series of encounters with darker members of the city and an existential crisis has driven Ztril to willingly infect himself with the Cratos bloodline with two goals - end the war and replace the superstition around dark powers with scientific knowledge.
    • Happiness and contentedness: While usually mercurial Ztril is now significantly more objective driven. Everything has to be toward his goals, and anything that isn’t ancient alchemical knowledge or thaumaturgical-alchemical engineering has started to lose its luster. He’s willing to go to more social events, but he constantly feels like he’s on the verge of losing his patience unless he’s meeting some vaguely defined feeling of “doing something”.
    • Fear: Ztril is seeing his homeland burn again. He has come face to face with rogue gods and down the road from the Morbus Imperium where he works is the Clicker crater. Right now, Ztril expresses his fears of the unknown and the realisation he should really be very dead through throwing himself into trying to make the dark powers mundane and end said fear through knowledge. He is also concerned about being discovered as infected but his reasoning for not wanting to be cured is because there’s still so much to learn from his condition and doesn’t want his research cut short.
    • Stress: Ztril’s former “work hard play hard” attitude seems to have been replaced with driving into stressful situations so as to end them sooner, or to find out more information. Indeed in some ways he seems addicted to the stress, becoming snappy if he’s asked to come away from his delusions of saving Hadar through the application of eldritch sciences. However, he will experience an explosive spike of stress when trying to make Cratos technology work in a mundane way given that the “magical” technology doesn’t play nice with things like the laws of physics.
    • Law and authorities: Paradoxical. Ztril respects the Regalian and Hadarian authorities, but wants to retain his powers. This obviously creates some pains and conflicts of interest, but Ztril rationalises it by saying that the final technologies and knowledge will justify his actions.
    • Other races: Not all of Ztril has been eaten by Cratosification, but his egalitarian and xenophilic views of other species have been adopted into a more meritocratic form - everyone has the ability to be a useful asset in saving Hadar and expanding the knowledge of the unknown, regardless of their species.
    • Religion and other faiths: Ztril is lightly unionist and uses this to somewhat justify what he is doing with the idea that he is working to help the greater whole. Having frequently met, fought with and occasionally kissed the supernatural he’s in no position to deny the supernatural. Ztril’s attitude to darker faiths is that they should be demystified, their principles catalogued and understood to see how they can be useful to the wider world.
    • Arcana and magic: Ztril’s former detente with magic has been altered - as a Cratos vampire, he has essentially become a “magitek” cyborg. Ztril’s position now is that magic needs to be bent to technology, or at least rationalised so it can be understood. He’s done being afraid of where it comes from, he wants it subservient to the people of Aloria once and for all.
    • Family: Ztril regularly writes home to his mother to try and keep in contact, but has been unable to visit the island and has not heard anything back in a while since the war started. He also has a lover Eric Liolen, and somewhere deep down Ztril is worried that Eric won’t accept what Ztril’s doing. Needless to say, this has not done wonders for Ztril's psyche.
    • Pride: Ztril, more than a little delusional, believes that his condition will allow him to pierce the veil on dark magic and save Hadar through controlling and understanding it. This distant (and impossible) purpose is what gives him his drive - the end goal is what he aims to be proud of.
    • Motivation: Save Hadar. Mundanise dark magic. Control dark magic. Maybe save Aloria in a very abstract way. Don’t get caught draining blood under the guise of “disease control research”.
    • Insecurity: Ztril still takes a hit to his confidence when something goes wrong but given that Hadar is at stake he now feels a lot stronger on the topic. Every failure to make a de-cratosified version of some alchemical technology work, or inability to make something eldritch into something understandable eats at him deeply.
    • Fear: Ztril is obviously afraid of being outed as a vampire but as mentioned this is more due to the threat of research being cut than anything else. He is also afraid of failing Hadar and the Allar as a whole by being unable to find a solution to help drive the Ssendrassians from their shores. But deep down, although his Cratos-twisted mind wouldn’t admit it, he is afraid of what’s going to happen when his friends and loved ones find out about his condition. He tells himself that they’ll understand he’s doing it to save his people, but the fear that they won’t understand is something he’s trying not to process.
    • Physically incompetent: Ztril has become less clumsy and is certainly tougher with all the metal under his scales, but Cratosification comes with a whole new set of problems. After all, he essentially has a load of new muscles to try and suddenly learn how to use. Ztril’s ability to use his Cratos powers requires training and time, neither of which he will necessarily get.
    • Cyberzombie: Ztril is playing with technology that physically should not exist within Aloria's sciences and attempting to apply logic to things that drive men mad. This manifests in Ztril occasionally having fuzzy-brained spells ranging from short term memory loss to loss of language skills. If this condition is not handled with caution, Ztril is at risk of actually driving himself insane

    Quirks:
    Ztril tends to flick his tongue out at random to "taste" the air. However, he seems to have lost interest in some scents that used to drive him to mania. He also tends to punctuate his sentence with bizarre hissing noises, particularly when trying to talk in common. Whenever meeting an obviously abhuman individual, Ztril tends to fawn over them, albeit in a rather scientific and creepy way so he can find out more about their powers.

    Minor skills:
    Ztril had a taste for baking and cooking, but seems to have lost his taste for this. Ztril also has a dab hand for haberdashery having worked on costumes and the such in the past, albeit nothing serious enough to need a skill point investment. Finally, Ztril can make Cratos-based technology as per his bloodline, but doesn't fully understand how he does this, nor exactly why a lot of the devices he makes seem focussed on bloodletting. His lack of thinking about why this is the case will at some point come back to bite him.

    Likes:
    • His work: Ztril wants his research to break new ground and change the world. As out there as such an objective may be, he seems to enjoy doing research and alchemy work.
    • The Allar community: Ztril has seen the Allar community in Regalia and Hadar thrive. He's not going to let go of that now. They've come so far to see their homes burn again.
    • The company of others: A part of Ztril's heart is still organic. He may be awkward about doing it, but he is perfectly capable of carousing with others and trying to conduct himself socially.

    Dislikes:
    • Distraction: Hadar needs saving and knowledge must be gathered to prevent the next great disaster. Ztril wants to focus on getting something done about the dark corners of the world and while he is willing to party, his hands flap or his tail shakes as he feels his time is being wasted.
    • Loss of control: Ztril is very much attached to being in control of his body, life and property having had one too many experiences with one or more of them being removed. Slavery and mind control are particularly sore topics, to the degree Ztril will not blood collar unwilling victims even when this would cause him problems. Ztril doesn't understand why this is eating at him so much recently.

    Simple life story (793 words):

    Early years (0-20, pre-server)
    Born on the island of Kyrenol. Ztril didn’t know his father that well, as he was called up into the Chrysant War.
    Early education with the local Allar alchemists eventually pays of with being permitted to join the School of Zzariss in Hal Pormonth.
    Ztril’s potential flourished with the academy under careful tutelage. He also learned basic first aid at the school, and his worldview is shaped a little by exposure to the Iron Fist. Ztril also learned basic finecraft, but only in as much as was necessary to operate alchemical machinery.
    Eventually, with the completion of his education, Ztril left Hal Pormonth and journed to Regalia to start his alchemical career.

    Early Regalia (20-24)
    Ztril arrives in Regalia and is determined to learn what he can despite his relatively low position on the totem pole.
    He quickly makes friends, enemies and gets into all sorts of trouble as he does his best to make himself useful to those that need him. Ztril started to pick up on how fight with a staff at this time, but has made little improvement since.
    The Naylar also expanded on his medical capabilities, ending up treating several members of the nobility after serious accidents and attacks. This allows Ztril to gain a little more social standing and money.
    Eventually, for services to the crown, the nobility and the city in general, Ztril is elevated to the higher ranks of citizenship in an audience with the Crown Prince.
    Ztril also first becomes acquainted with Niantha Aalvienta.

    Enslavement and freedom (24-25)
    After fleeing the initial Qadir invasion, Ztril tries to sneak back into the city to help with resistance efforts. His contact proves dodgy and Ztril ends up getting enslaved at the park winery.
    The slavery was hard on Ztril, who lost even more weight and spent most of his time living in fear.
    After liberation, Ztril was stuck sleeping in a tree due to the ongoing blockade. Fortunately Ni took mercy and allowed him to sleep above her herbalism shop instead.
    Ztril and Ni’s relationship also developed and, in spite of several troubles regarding folks trying to break them up, eventually came together in a more permanent fashion.

    Married life (25-41, not all played on server)
    Ztril and Ni prove inseparable in their activities even during the Anahera Rebellion, when the pair performed field triage and rescued some food supplies.
    Taking advantage of the quiet that came after this storm the pair settled down, upgraded their shop to a more premium venue and had a child, the Naylar-seedling Roussea Merrit.
    Sadly, shortly after Rou became an adult, Eira Sorenvik set her sights on breaking Ni down. In the turn to the Nenyarina the couple disagreed and, misunderstanding, Ztril took Rou and fled to safety out of fear for the child.
    Further misunderstandings and foolishness by Ztril would drive the couple further apart and Ztril to the brink of insanity. This would climax with Ztril needing to be talked down from doing something permanent and rash.

    Expertise (41-4)
    Needing to reconsider his place in the world, Ztril gathered up some of his funds, made sure the apothecary would be in safe hands.
    Ztril decided to turn back to his education to try and find his way in the world, returning to Hal Pormonth and Kyrenol for at time.
    In his home environment, with the family he loved and the things he loved to do the Allar slowly but surely returned to his more jovial self.
    Finally feeling ready, Ztril turned back to Regalia to try and rebuild his life there… and arrived just as the deathlings arose.
    Ztril fled to Kronau to provide medical support during the deathling incursion. With eventual victory Ztril was finally able to settle down again. In time, he would even find new love with a Slizzar, Eric Liolen, with whom he currently shares a bond.

    Recent events (45)
    The past few years have been quiet for Ztril, and he’s been slowly moving up the ranks of the Vyzal Digmaan. Unfortunately, the clicker crisis has had an unfortunate consequence.
    Almost dying in the process of bombing the hive, something broke within Ztril. The idea of fighting something that made no sense and escaped scientific examination ate away at him. After the cratering, this only ate away at him more and more.
    With the devastation of Hadar in the war, Ztril finally snapped. He wanted to find a solution, a way to make the impossible bend and become knowledgable. He wanted to find extraordinary means to end the war and make things right in Hadar, then build a greater and wiser future.
    Following rumors, Ztril disappeared into the sewers and returned with reddened eyes.
     
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    #1 Eyrok, Feb 28, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2021
  2. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Claimed for review.
     
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  3. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Horticulture should be listed under cultural proficiencies.

    Polearms is not a proficiency, please pick from one of the listed polearm types on the page here.

    You have 29 cultural points you can still spend if you'd like.

    Al-Allar eyes should be vibrant yellow with white sclera. Also, max height for Al-Allar is 5'6".

    Mark your edits in red and tag me when you have made the appropriate changes. @Eyrok
     
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  4. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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  5. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    The sclera needs to be white. The iris would be yellow. The sclera is the white of the eye. @Eyrok
     
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  6. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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  7. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Approved.
     
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  8. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    Changes made 14/07/18:

    Altered name to reflect Allar naming standards. Was “Narrim”, is now “Al-Narrim”

    Altered points cost on the following proficiencies:
    • Altered “Medicine” - from +5 (+5 from pool) to +10 (+10 from Al-Allar racial bonus)
    • Altered “Surgery” - from +5 (+5 from pool) to +10 (+10 from pool)

    Altered points cost on the following culturals:
    • Added “Brewing” at +10 (+10 points from pool, sourced from use of alchemical machinery)
    • Added “Smithing” at +10 (+10 points from pool, sourced from use of alchemical machinery)
    • Added “Clockwork engineering” at +5 (+5 points from pool, sourced from use of alchemical machinery)
    This uses up all unused cultural proficiency points.

    Recent changes are highlighted in red.
     
  9. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Reapproved.
     
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  10. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    Update 18/02/19: Updated for new format. Skill points rebalanced
     
  11. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear the chronic druid main

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  12. Canaanite

    Canaanite Valentinian Shill

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    Reapproved.
     
  13. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    Update 22/10/19: Updated to bring Ztril into line with recent lore and character sheet changes.
     
  14. Messtro

    Messtro Flower Goblin

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    Hey there, I'm picking this app up for review. @Eyrok
     
  15. Messtro

    Messtro Flower Goblin

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    Alright, let's get right into the review!

    Everything is good in the personality section, however I would like you to expand on the fear section. Why does he have this fear and why has it stuck with him for so long?
    Other than that this app is wonderfully written and just needs to be added to it. If you could write it in green that'd be great!
    @Eyrok
     
  16. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @Nesstro Changes have been made, I hope that these are in order
     
  17. Messtro

    Messtro Flower Goblin

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    Perfect, everything seems to be good now. I'll be marking this app APPROVED.
    @Eyrok
     
  18. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    • Like Like x 1
  19. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    11/09/20: Due to a combination of curiosity and messing around in the wrong part of the sewers, I have given Ztril a (likely temporary) dose of the Cratos bloodline. This has been added under the abilities section of the character sheet. Please let me know if this is objectionable.
     
  20. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    27/09/20: Vampirism removed
     
  21. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Ever present, Ever seeing Staff Member Lore2

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    @Eyrok my review:
    • 25 Alchemy should be 20. However, by investing at least 5 in, you gain a free 5.
    • Also indicate which points are from talent, and which are from hobby, as it seem like those free points are missing.
    • Make a few updates to the life story, as Cro-Zzhin is no longer in Regalia.
    When you have made these changes, please tag me.
     
  22. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Ever present, Ever seeing Staff Member Lore2

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  23. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @FireFan96 Apologies for the late response, I have had a bit of a busy week. I have attempted to make the changes requested and anything changed has been highlighted red where it has not been expunged.
    I do confess confusion about the second point of your critique as I had not taken any hobby points ,but hopefully things are clearer now
     
  24. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Ever present, Ever seeing Staff Member Lore2

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    @Eyrok I'm assuming you also chose not to include the free talent profs as well, which is fine. Just know you have 20 freebie points lying around whenever you want to allocate them.

    The Racial Buff can only apply to a single proficiency, so either Alchemy or Medical will get a boost added to it, not both. Make that correction.

    In terms of spent points, I'm counting 15+10+10+10=45, leaving 5 to spare. I think removing just the "free from Al-Allar species" on one of your boosted profs will solve this issue.

    Other than that, everything else looks fine. Tag me when this change is done.
     
  25. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @FireFan96 I have made the changes and included ranks in the threads and gardening hobby arts as they are relevant to Ztril's work
     
  26. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Ever present, Ever seeing Staff Member Lore2

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    So with Hobby and Talent Profs, you have 10 to spend in the Hobby Group section, and 10 to spend in the Talent Group. Unforutnately you cannot put 20 into Hobby and 0 into Talent. They both just have a free 10 for each.

    Perhaps drop gardening and threads to 5 each (if you want both) and add something from the talent prof. I could see statecraft command, perception, bodycare, or even stealth rogue to fit Ztril from my own experiences with the character.

    See what you can do with that @Eyrok
     
  27. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @FireFan96 Changes made based on recommendations. Sorry about this confusion.
     
  28. FireFan96

    FireFan96 Ever present, Ever seeing Staff Member Lore2

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  29. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    Edit 21/12/20: Added Cratos bloodline mutations properly this time. Mutations can be found in the mutations folder. Character will not gain powers until re-approval.
     
  30. HydraLana

    HydraLana The Very Gay Walking Talking Lore Encyclopedia Staff Member Lore3

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    My Review:
    • Becoming a Vampire generally changes or at least tweaks a person's personality, yet I see no changes. Please, re-read the Cratos Bloodline, your Personality section, and see if any edits can be made.
    • Your Life Story is INSANELY backlogged. You last mention...the Deathling Crisis? That was years ago, please, write on what has happened to him recently and why he's accepted vampirism.
    Tag me once your edits are done in green @Eyrok
     
  31. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @HydraLana I've made the requested changes, as well as a few other tweaks. All should be highlighted as requested to make Ztril's new "by any means necessary" principles clearer.
     
  32. Caelamus

    Caelamus Sir Honeybear the chronic druid main

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    Approved.
     
  33. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    21/01/21: Edited Ztril's cratos tech form description. Changes have been highlighted in green
     
  34. KrakenLord01

    KrakenLord01 That Guy

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    I will be taking this application for review!
     
  35. KrakenLord01

    KrakenLord01 That Guy

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    • Specify what Proficiencies are using your Talent Points and your Hobby Points, as it stands it just appears to be investing 20 points over the cap.
    Make changes in Green and tag me when finished.
     
  36. Eyrok

    Eyrok Draconic dolt

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    @KrakenLord01 Changes made, sorry for the delay. Clarification of point sources added as necessary
     
  37. KrakenLord01

    KrakenLord01 That Guy

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    Re-approved!
     

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